Hey, it’s WWE NXT! Talk Owens Talk!

The show started with William Regal, sat in his office, addressing the NXT universe about the climax of NXT Takeover: Rival. He confirmed that Kevin Owens is the champion, and that titles in NXT can change on a referee stoppage. BUT he says, Owens will not be allowed to run rampage around NXT. Tonight he will face Adrian Neville, in a non-title match, because Owens put Neville in hospital a few weeks back. He said it was a new era…

Hey, it’s Kevin Owens! He came down to the ring holding the title belt, and the crowd were mixed on him. Half cheered him because he’s just doing what any of us working stiffs would do to feed our ungrateful families, and half booed him because he murdered his friend to get that title.

Owens said that no-one had a right to be mad at him because he never lied about his intentions in NXT. He did this for his family and it didn’t matter who he beat or the way it was done.

He said Sami Zayn was old news and that he was looking ahead to Finn Balor, the number one contender. He told Balor to go to Regal and book a date, and that he’d be there whenever and wherever it was.

He said no-one would take the title away from him and his family, and having seen the adorable photo of his little baby sitting with the belt, I’m on his side.

They announced that new NXT Women’s Champion, Sasha Banks, would be facing Blue Pants tonight. The graphic they showed had their full names but the last names were much bigger. Thus it read: BANKS VS PANTS. I am a child.

Elias Sampson was in the ring awaiting his opponent. Jo Jo announced him. It was Rhyno. FUCKING RHYNO!

He came out to a “Holy Shit!” chant, and Jason Albert said that NXT is now the place for folks to get their careers back on track.

The crowd chanted, “Gore! Gore! Gore!”, and – after an armdrag – he obliged, killing and pinning Sampson in just thirty seconds. How odd.

I did wonder if Rhyno was there to team with Bull Dempsey – perhaps as Hyppo? – but then struck that thought as the ramblings of an idiot.

Backstage, Devin Taylor spoke to Finn Balor about his inevitable clash with Kevin Owens. Rhyno walked by and gave Balor an odd look and a weird smile…

Hey, it’s the Vaudevillains! They are fighting Enzo Amore and Colin Cassady, who come out and do their usual schtick. Enzo now has a big, bushy blonde beard. It’s awesome.

Carmella was with them and the crowd still do NOT like her. Good crowd. Cass told the Vaudevillains that he & Enzo were going to run through them on their way to a title shot.

So this was short. It was Enzo and Simon Gotch, with Gotch on top, and a tag to Aidan English initially brought more of the same.

Enzo made the hot tag to Big Cass, who ran wild on both heels, sending Gotch packing with a sidewalk slam. Enzo & Cass then hit a double-team move for the win. THEY WON! THEY NEVER WIN! YAY!

After the match, Wesley Blake & Buddy Murphy appeared on the big screen to give fake congratulations to the team, and sleazily tried to pick up Carmella, who fake-vomited.

Backstage, that new interviewer guy who looks like Jeremy Borash before he lost his soul spoke to Adrian Neville. Neville said not having the title or the number one contender’s slot was a relief because he could focus on his personal issues with Owens, and he hasn’t forgotten what Owens did to him…

They showed video of Bayley and Becky Lynch reacting to their losses in the Fatal Four Way Women’s title match at Rival. Bayley said her time will come, and Becky blamed Bayley for her not winning. Ooooh, feud!

Hey, it’s CJ Parker! He was not wearing his wrestling gear, and instead had the most ridiculous hat on. He said he was sick and tired of being left off the big shows, and that he was holding the show hostage.

He then wrapped up the ring in yellow CAUTION tape, which is a strange thing to do at any time. He was interrupted in his ribbon-craft by Solomon Crowe, who stormed the ring and beat up Parker, finishing him off with a natty looking headbutt. He said the regularly scheduled broadcast was back on, and left through the crowd…

Sasha Banks came down to the ring and posed with the belt. Blue Pants came out to Big Cass singing the theme to The Price Is Right again, and got quite the reaction. They’ve got to sign this girl.

Sasha couldn’t believe she was facing Blue Pants on her first night as champion, and held the ropes open for Blue Pants to leave the ring. Instead, Blue Pants dropkicked her through and it’s on!

Blue Pants got on top very early but then Banks took over. She did the double knees in the corner and then pulled Blue Pants up at the two count, before hitting a backstabber and locking on the Bank(s) Statement for the submission victory.

After the match, that Borash-looking guy – okay, his name is Greg – tried to interview Sasha but she snatched the mic’ and said that she needed to be acknowledged as the baddest Diva in NXT.

They showed footage from after the Zayn-Owens title match at Rival, with Zayn being helped to the back. The ringside doctor, Chris Amann (he of CM Punk infamy) told us that there were no lasting effects from the beating Zayn received and that he made his scheduled dates in Abu Dhabi (where everybody was) last week.

Hey, it’s our main event! It’s Adrian Neville versus Kevin Owens!

So they had a match, and it was a Good Match. It had a slow period in the middle, but I can excuse that when you have such a fast start and furious end. There was an amazing deadlift German suplex by Neville, with Owens frantically reaching for anything to grab hold of, and a 450 splash on the outside by Neville.

It was all Neville at the end but Owens avoided the Red Arrow and hit a pop-up powerbomb out of nowhere for the win. Owens came close to losing so many times but got the job done in the end.

This was a Good Show. Not a Great Show, or an Amazing Show, but a Good Show. So many things ended at Rival that they’ve had to push the reset button a little and thus shows like this are needed to start building things again. I’m okay with that because change is good.