Hey, it’s Lucha Underground! And I’m hooked on this damn soap opera!

The show started with the announcers telling us that Prince Puma was making his return tonight to take on Cage! And it wasn’t even the main event!

Aerostar was already in the ring for the first match, and Melissa Santos introduced his opponent, Drago. These two had a match the other week, which was hard-fought and full of highspots. Drago won, and at the end they shook hands, signifying their mutual respect. A MATCH WITH HONOUR!

They shook hands to begin the match tonight – HONOUR! – and then went straight into it. It was a short match, and the first half was littered with errors, but they settled down into a decent contest, which Aerostar won with a springboard splash.

After the match, Dario Cueto came out of his office and congratulated both men. He told them he wanted more, and promised one of his “unique opportunities” to the first man to win two more matches in their series, which is now a best of five. Booking made simple.

Backstage, King Cuerno was shown training in slow motion. That is, the film was slow-motion, rather than him actually being in slow-motion himself. He did a slow-motion tope suicida, which was great because it’s a thing of beauty and seeing it like that was awesome. He faces Johnny Mundo tonight. Now that’s a main event.

Hey, it’s Melissa! She introduced the combatants for our next lucha – Cage and Prince Puma!

This was non-title, and if Cage won he would get a title shot. They had a great match, evenly matched early on but with Cage slowly getting the upper hand as the match wore on.

Konnan came out to inspire Puma – the first time we’d seen him since Cage left him lying in a pool of blood the other week – and his encouragement helped Puma made the ropes to break a stretch muffler submission.

This effort took a lot out of Puma, and Cage took advantage, powerbombing him twice and then striking him from the mount, until Konnan grabbed a conveniently nearby towel, and threw it into the ring to give Cage the win by forfeit.

After the break, backstage, Puma was angry about how things had gone down, but Konnan told him that he’d done him a favour and that they needed to execute their plan…

In Dario Cueto’s office, Cueto and Sexy Star sat down for a chat. An angry Sexy Star told Cueto she was tired of men saving her and that she wanted to fight the Crew, three-on-one.

Cueto mentioned that Big Ryck did, too, but she told him that she didn’t want to team with Big Ryck. Cueto said that wasn’t what he had in mind, and said she would fight Big Ryck and the winner would get to fight the Crew. Sexy Star was keener to have this match than I am to see it.

Hey, it’s Melissa! She introduced Vinny Massaro, as the announcers gave us some background on him – a mixed martial-artist from northern California.

He’s fighting Pentagon Jr, who’s been on a roll lately, dedicating his matches to a mysterious master, and breaking the arms of his last two opponents after the match.

So this went a minute, tops. And Pentagon Jr won with a piledriver of sorts, before powerbombing Massaro through a table and then – yes – breaking his arm with his armbreaker submission move. Pentagon Jr is HUGELY over with this crowd. Maybe Roman Reigns should start breaking dudes’ arms?

After a break, Melissa introduced the main event – King Cuerno versus Johnny Mundo! These two have been having a bit of a feud after Cuerno attacked Mundo during his match with Cage a few weeks back.

So they went back and forth for a while, until Cuerno kicked Mundo out of the ring and then hit THREE tope suicidas – the last of them while Mundo was laid out on the announcers’ table.

The ref counted both men out, but that wasn’t the end of it, as they brawled around the Temple until the show went off the air…

BUT! as the credits rolled, we saw a car driving along the LA streets, and when it finally stopped the trunk was opened and Black Lotus was inside. A masked man, who I think was the guy who was shown training Prince Puma in his video packages way back at the start of the series, asked her, “what do you know about lucha libre?”

This was a Good Show. It clipped along again at a steady pace, always entertaining and never dragging. The first match had some botched spots, which is annoying on a taped show, but it didn’t detract too much from the great package this show always presents. If you’re not watching it, you’re a fool to yourself…

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