Hey, it’s WWE Smackdown! Let’s see if this week’s show makes me want to PUNCH MY TELEVISION…
The show started with Daniel Bryan coming down to the ring to talk about what happened on last week’s show. In case you forgot, he lost by count-out to Sheamus after Wade Barrett smacked him with a bullhammer. Oh, and he bled hardway from hitting his head on the announcers’ desk.
Talking of which, still no Michael Cole – we got Tom “Todd” Phillips filling in instead.
Bryan said winning the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania was one of the highlights of his career and he was going to make the title mean something by defending it against all comers – presumably on Smackdown because Cena’s doing that same deal on Raw.
Barrett came out and gloated about dropping Bryan with the bullhammer. Then Sheamus joined him. Sheamus, who’s a bit of a dick, said he didn’t mind Barrett because he wasn’t an undersized midget, and God knows if there’s a way to get your talent over it’s to emphasise how small they are.
Sheamus proposed that he & Barrett give Bryan a European-style kicking and approached the ring. They were cut off by Dolph Ziggler’s music, and he joined Bryan in the ring to face off against the size-obsessed cocks.
Apropos, The Big Show came out and said he was sick and tired of pip-squeaks (there they go again) complaining and, as winner of the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal, he wanted in on the fun.
Then Roman Reigns came out and FOR FUCK’S SAKE DOES ANYONE ELSE WANT TO COME OUT? and tackled The Big Show, who took a powder with the other two galoots.
Tyson Kidd & Cesaro shown walking down a corridor with Natalya.
After a break, the announcers’ told us that the show would be headlined by Dolph Ziggler, Daniel Bryan & Roman Reigns versus The Big Show, Wade Barrett & Sheamus. Yay?
Kidd & Cesaro finished up their entrance and were joined by The New Day. They did some mic’ work, cementing their heel turn. They’re clapping for the fans, who didn’t give two fucks. Well, except for some confused kids. WRESTLING!
So Kofi Kingston & Big E fought Tyson Kidd & Cesaro, presumably for the tag team titles, although it wasn’t stated either way. They had a decent enough match, but The New Day will have to go a bit further to really hook that heel turn. It might help not facing heel teams, too, I guess.
After some re-caps from Raw, some plugs for stuff, and a commercial break, Curtis Axel was in the ring. He said that, two weeks ago on Raw, Neville had put a speed bump on the way to Axtreme Rules. He asked for a re-match tonight.
So Neville came out and they had a good match – short at two minutes but that’s double the length of their last encounter. Axel sells so well for Neville. There’s a career in making others look good! Neville won with the Red Arrow.
Backstage Renee spoke to Cameron, Alicia Fox, and Natalya. They yatta yatta’d about the *shudder* Divas Battle Royal on next week’s Raw, and Fox & Natalya got into a shoving match. Some referees appeared from nowhere and pulled them apart.
After a break, it was Alicia Fox versus Natalya, presumably because of what just happened. Not only that, but Cameron was the referee. Do they just make this stuff up as they go along? If so, BRAVO!
They had a BAD match, although Cameron’s officiating was actually really good. Maybe that could be her thing?
After the match, which Natalya won with a sharpshooter, Cameron laid them both out with DDTs. *sigh*
They showed a hype video for Erick Rowan, which appeared to be much of the same stuff they showed just before his return after breaking away from Bray Wyatt in November last year. Hey, if they’ll agree to forget the last four months, so will I!
After a break, it was Bray Wyatt versus Erick Rowan. Wyatt came down to the ring and cut a good talky about how he’d fixed Rowan and how now he’d destroy him. He’s still calling himself the New Face Of Fear. It’s not sticking.
Rowan came out and they had a match. I liked it. It’s a shame they didn’t start this stuff back in November, instead of that Wyatt/Ambrose feud that did nothing for either guy.
The Miz was shown walking down a corridor backstage. After a break, he was in the ring for Miz TV. He showed the trailer for his new movie, The Marine 4. It does not look good.
Summer Rae came out and had a go at him for not mentioning her also starring in it. If her performance in the trailer is anything to go by, I’d be thankful if no-one mentioned it.
He said him letting her be in the movie was him “giving divas a chance” and that he’d made her a star like he’d made Mizdow a star.
He said he blamed the WWE Universe for making Mizdow think he was a star when, in fact, he’d been fired twice and was on his way to being fired a third time when The Miz hired him as his stunt double.
This brought Mizdow out, dressed for casual Friday, and The Miz told him he’d forgive him if he said sorry. Mizdow took his time to make a decision and then shook The Miz’s hand slowly, saying, “I’m sorry… I didn’t do this sooner!”
He then smacked The Miz upside the head and threw a chair at him when he ran for the hills. He grabbed Summer Rae, kissed her, and left. She acted like he’d taken her breath away. Hokey.
Hey, it’s our main event! It’s Wade Barrett, Sheamus & The Big Show versus Dolph Ziggler, Roman Reigns & Daniel Bryan!
It wasn’t a terrible match, although there was too much of The Big Show. Thankfully, two-move Reigns was kept out until a minute from the end of the fifteen minute match, when he came in and did his two moves. He got the win for his team with a spear on Barrett.
This was an Okay Show. There was nothing to hate (much) and it skipped along. Better.