Hey, it’s WWE Smackdown! There’s a LOT in it this week!
The show started with Bray Wyatt, cutting a talky from his smoky room. He said he would expose The Ryback’s weakness and turn his dreams into nightmares. Okay then.
Hey, it’s Dean Ambrose! He came down to the ring and cut a talky. He said he likes to work alone, fight alone, and drink alone. And it felt good standing alone on Raw, with the others in the main event at Payback scattered all around, and that’s what we’re going to see on the PPV.
He said he’d planted his only friend with Dirty Deeds because things got out of control and he wanted to say something to that friend, Roman Reigns.
Reigns came out from his usual place up in the stands. Someone in the crowd had a sign that said, “Roman Reigns Likes Nickelback”, which is the BEST way anyone’s ever summed up his character.
Ambrose said he wasn’t going to apologise to Reigns, and Reigns said he wouldn’t expect him to, because he’d have done the same. He said they’d be brothers tonight but at Payback he’d be bringing the big guns and hoped Ambrose would, too.
They were interrupted by Kane, who told them they should be more worried about the PPV. Ambrose told Kane that he should be worried about being out of a job if Seth Rollins loses the title. Kane put him in a match with Sheamus, and Ambrose anticipated the “starting right now” because Ambrose is AWESOME.
So Ambrose and Sheamus had a match, and it was a good match. Sheamus works really heavy, I’ve noticed, really yanking his opponents around. I wouldn’t put up with that shit. Ambrose got the win when he dropped Sheamus face first on the turnbuckles and rolled him up for the pin.
Backstage, Seth Rollins reminded Kane that he’d be out of a job if he didn’t help him at Payback. Kane said he didn’t need this job because he’d saved his money. In storyline mode, he’s the only fucking one who has because everyone else gets really scared about being fired on this show.
Rollins sarcastically wished Kane lucked against Roman Reigns in the main event tonight, so Kane put Rollins in a match with The Ryback, which not only punished Rollins, it punished all of us, too.
Hey, it’s Rusev! He came down to the ring with Lana and had Lana read a pre-prepared statement, apologising for her recent crowd-pleasing behaviour. He made her stand in the corner and cut a talky on John Cena, ending with a looped video of Cena saying “I quit!” and the flag dropping. Good stuff.
Backstage Renee spoke to The Ryback, who said he wouldn’t be distracted by Bray Wyatt tonight because if he beat Seth Rollins it could mean a future title shot. He said he’d seen fear in Wyatt’s eyes on Raw.
Seth Rollins and J&J Security came down to the ring for Rollins’s match with The Ryback. The Ryback came out and got jumped by Wyatt on the ramp and left lying, as Wyatt lay nearby with a maniacal look on his face.
After being checked over by the referee, The Ryback decided he wanted to continue, and he & Seth Rollins had a match. It was a Seth Rollins versus The Ryback match, and we’ll say no more about it. Rollins won with the Drive-By and two superkicks. No sign of that shitty DDT he adopted after the kerb stomp was taken away.
Backstage Renee spoke to Naomi & Tamina, who said blah blah blah about the Bella Twins. They’ll have a tag match at Payback.
Hey, it’s The New Day! They’ve gone from being awful to a highlight of the show! Tyson Kidd, Cesaro & Natalya came out, and Kidd had a match with Kofi Kingston.
It was a quick match, which had interference and shenanigans on the outside with Big E & Xavier Woods, but Kidd got the win with a submission from the Sharpshooter. Good build to their two out of three falls on the PPV.
After they’d re-shown the Daniel Bryan announcement from Raw, Bo Dallas came out. He told the people that they were going through the five stages of grief after Bryan’s announcement, and basically went for unreciprocated cheap heat from Bryan. The crowd didn’t really care. Dallas is looking really thick and the added bulk on his face makes him look like a Chinaman.
Anyway, he wasn’t just out to diss the crowd, he was out for a match with Neville, and they had a decent contest. King Bad News Barrett was on commentary and did a great job. Neville won with the Red Arrow and Barrett got up on the announcers’ table and grabbed a mic’. He said he would finish Neville at the PPV with a Royal Bullhammer, and told the crowd the chant “all hail King Barrett”. They didn’t.
Backstage, Adam Rose was making out with Rosa Mendes. Rose was being put off by one of his Rosebuds, the hot dog, who he said was staring at him. The hot dog asked if he they were going to get paid and Rose knocked him down. The other Rosebuds attended to the hot dog as Rose continued to make out with Mendes. Kane walked by and looked disgusted by the whole scene.
Hey, it’s our main event! It’s Kane versus Roman Reigns, and there must be a winner! I think that’s a way of saying no count-outs, no disqualifications.
So they started brawling on the outside before the bell had rung and eventually made it into the ring and the match started. They brawled and used kendo sticks and tables and tried to have a bit of an epic. The story recently is that Reigns keeps getting absolutely PUNISHED but comes back to win because HE DOESN’T GIVE UP. It’s supposed to make us think he’s tough but it just makes me think he’s not very good at the actual fighting bit.
Anyway, Reigns survived being chokeslammed through a table to come back with a Superman punch and a spear through another table for the win.
After the match, Backstage Renee spoke to Seth Rollins, who said he wasn’t worried about Payback. Dean Ambrose turned up, threw a plate of food at Rollins, and they started brawling. Rollins and J&J Security got the better of him but Reigns ran in and made the save.
It ended with Ambrose and Reigns standing over the title belt. Reigns offered a handshake but Ambrose bent down and picked up the belt instead. He put the belt on Reigns’s shoulder and told him he’d take it on Sunday…
This was a Good Show. It seemed like there was more in it than your usual Smackdown, and there weren’t too many Raw replays. It did a good job of warming up for the PPV so objective achieved!