Hey, it’s WWE NXT! It’s that show that has that heel everyone likes but shouldn’t!

The show started with Sami Zayn’s music playing – surely, after the beating he took on last week’s NXT Takeover: Unstoppable, he won’t be here tonight? Aaaaaand no, he won’t, because it’s uber-dick Kevin Owens coming out instead.

Owens was wearing John Cena’s The Champ Is Here t-shirt again, and had a sneer as poisonous as la rana venenosa on his face. He came down to the ring and said he was going to issue an open challenge for the NXT title tonight but he isn’t because he’s not an insecure person and doesn’t feel the need to prove himself by defending his title against anyone out of the back.

He said that people have to earn the chance to fight for the NXT title and some fans clapped. He did not like that. The same fans started chanting “John Cena sucks!” and he ragged on them, wondering why they didn’t also sing “Sami Zayn sucks!” because he does, too. Such great heeling.

Owens said that someone recently called him a bad person – Hideo Itami, assaulted by a “mysterious” assailant last week – but that he was a good man. He’s a good man because his entrance tonight was the last time anyone would ever have to hear Sami Zayn’s music. And he wondered why people were so surprised at what he did to Zayn – Zayn asked for the match and Owens was only being a good family man by keeping his title.

He said another example of his goodness was, when Samoa Joe came out, he let the crowd enjoy the moment. he said he didn’t back down because he was scared but because he wanted the crowd to go home happy. He said that next time Samoa Joe stepped into his ring, he would drop him in an instant. And, at Elimination Chamber, he would beat John Cena, too.

This brought William Regal came out, who shook his head on his way to the ring, disapprovingly. He said Owens was walking a thin line – he attacked Regal last week – but Owens reminded him that Regal put hands on him first. Regal said that’s the only reason he still has a job. He reminds Owen how many people he’s injured, listing them off. Owens denied responsibility for Itami and said that Zayn deserved it for asking for the match, and it was Regal’s fault for booking it.

Suddenly, Solomon Crowe’s music hit and he came down to the ring. He told Owens that the reason he wouldn’t fight anyone but the number one contender was that he was scared, and that’s he’s a piece of crap for what he  did to Zayn. Owens said Crowe just earned himself an opportunity and Regal booked the main event – Owens versus Crowe! Before he left, Owens counted off the men he’d injured, mentioning Zayn three times. He motioned at Crowe and said to Regal, “you can add him to the list, too.” GREAT segment.

They showed a replay of the fan video of Hideo Itami lying injured in the parking lot on last week’s show and then a pre-recorded message from Itami. He said he’s had surgery but there will be no stopping him when he comes back.

In an interview from backstage at last week’s Takeover, Backstage Renee spoke to Zack Ryder, who had been watching in the audience. he said the show was great and Mojo Rawley interrupted. He was HYPED! which shouldn’t be new to anyone because Mojo Rawley STAYS HYPED!!! I smell a tag-team – Mojo Ryder?

Hey, it’s Bayley! She came out with her whacky inflatable wavey arm tube men to fight evil Emma, because their feud must END. Emma came out with Dana Brooke, who has a new outfit which looks less dom.

So Emma and Bayley had a good match, and I can even look past Emma’s odd foot placement when she runs. Emma was heeling it up a charm, yanking Bayley around by the hair. Bayley made a spirited comeback but Emma yanked her off the top, hit a leg whip, and then applied the Emma Lock for the submission victory.

After the match, Dana Brooke got in the ring and held Bayley for Emma to slap her. Charlotte’s music hit and she stomped out to make the save, knocking Brooke over on the ramp., and attacking Emma in the ring. Brooke snuck up and locked Charlotte in a full nelson and Emma slapped Charlotte to the mat. Brooke then hit her fireman’s carry driver on Charlotte to add injury to insult.

In another interview from backstage at last week’s Takeover, Backstage Renee spoke to Baron Corbin, who pointed out that Rhyno called him out and he remains the only unstoppable force on NXT. Rhyno appeared and said the match was fun and intense and wanted to do it again, the sooner the better. Corbin just shook his head, sadly. Needs more HYPE.

They showed a video package about Becky Lynch’s journey to where she is today. Did nothing for me but it’s a pretty good story, I guess.

Hey, it’s Elias Sampson & Mike Rallis! What’s that? No, me either. These Area Jobbers were already in the ring and they’re fighting the NXT tag-team champions, Wesley Blake & Buddy Murphy. They came out with Alexa Bliss, all three of them in new, matching outfits. They looked SWANK. Incidentally, Blake & Murphy now have t-shirts that say “BAMF”, which apparently stands for Blake And Murphy Factor but if you type it into Google gets a completely different and awesome result…

So they had a decent match, with neither Area Jobber getting much of anything. The crowd shouted for Enzo Amore but sadly did not get him. Blake & Murphy won with the double-team suplex-splash finisher on Sampson and, after the match, Alexa Bliss got into the ring and hit her finisher on Rallis. Sucks to be Area Jobbers.

They showed video footage of Finn Bálor becoming the number one contender on last week’s show, by beating Tyler Breeze.

Backstage, Devin Taylor spoke to Blake & Murphy & Bliss. She wondered why they’d come together and Bliss mocked her journalistic skills. One of these days Devin’s going to go CRAZY and AWESOME on these patronising shits. Bliss said they were all winners and so gravitated to each other. She said Carmella, on the other hand, was from Staten Island, famous for its garbage, so had gravitated to other garbage like Enzo & Big Cass.

Hey, it’s Tye Dillenger! He was already in the ring, waiting for his opponent, Finn Bálor. Bálor came out without the demon facepaint, but $hilling his t-shirt and bandana combo. A man’s gotta eat, I guess.

So Bálor and Dillenger had a fair match and Dillenger got the first thirty seconds or so before Bálor unloaded and got the win with the Coup de Grace after a couple of minutes. Not much of anything, really.

Earlier today, “Greg” caught up with Jason Jordan and asked what his plans were. He said he’d already found a perfect partner to replace Tye Dillenger and then Chad Gable, who was warming up in the background, came over and offered to fill the role. Gable listed his accomplishments but Jordan said he already had someone and facetiously said he’d give Gable a call if things didn’t work out. It’s good to give the minor players something, even if it is with “Greg”.

Hey, it’s our main event! it’s Kevin Owens versus Solomon Crowe!

Owens came out first, and was joined by an amped-up Crowe. They started off slow, with Owens ducking otu of the ring on the bell. Crowe paused them came out after him only to walk straight into a clothesline on the outside. The fans chanted “get the stretcher!” which was funny.

Back in the ring, Crowe fired up and took Owens down to one knee with a succession of punches and headbutts. he headed up top but Owens caught him and knocked him to the floor. It looked a bit ouchy, which is good, obv.

After a break, Owens was wearing Crowe down with a side headlock. The announcers said that Owens would be doing an in-ring interview on Smackdown, which should be awesome. Crowe made a brief comeback but Owens weathered it and threw Crowe through the ropes to the outside, and he just made the count to get back in.

They went back and forth, and Crowe got the upper hand with a big right and a high knee into the corner. It didn’t last, however, and Owens hit a back elbow, a running senton, and the pop-up powerbomb for the win. Decent contest.

After the match, Owens dragged Crowe outside and got ready to pop-up powerbomb him on the apron but Samoa Joe’s music hit. Owens left Crowe and retreated into the ring. Samoa Joe walked down and stepped through the ropes and Owens calmly stepped through the ropes the other side of the ring and walked up the ramp, pointing at Crowe and saying to Joe, “that’s a warning to you… you should have stayed in oblivion, buddy.” He stood at the top of the ramp, did Cena’s hand-wavey-face gesture and that’s your show.

This was a Good Show. It’s never easy coming off a big show where feuds are ended but they’ve picked things up nicely. Samoa Joe is a great addition to the roster, even if he can still work for inferior products in addition to this. Kevin Owens is simply the best heel in the business right now, and that includes Pentagón Jr. Yes, he’s that good.