Hey, it’s AAA Sin Límite! It’s that show that’s beamed direct from Mexico, straight into your lap!
The show started with the usual “Previously on…” segment, this week featuring the la Secta versus los Güeros del Cielo feud, Electro Shock & his pals, and Brian Cage & el Patrón Alberto.
First up, a match! It’s Faby Apache & Keira versus Taya Valkyrie & Mary Apache!
Mary Apache was no nonsense, waving off would-be handslappers because she is rudo. Taya was a vision in a white fur coat and white furry boots. She came out to the Perros del Mal music and brought el Hijo del Tirantes with her to referee the match. Badly, one assumes.
Keira was new to me. She wears a mask and has chunky thighs and thus zooms into my list of top luchadors. Also in possession of chunky thighs is Faby Apache. I wish I knew why she is good and her sister & father are bad. I suppose I could ask her. Hey Faby!
Taya and Keira start out, with Taya asking for a test of strength, and teasing Keira about her lack of inches. She then tied Keira up with knucklelocks but Keira flipped out of the subsequent wristlock and armdragged Taya across the ring. It was Keira on top from that point, until she rana‘d Taya out of the ring and tagged out, bringing Faby & Mary in.
Faby outworked Mary but Mary came back with stomps. This only angered Faby and she FIRED UP! with hair drags. Taya & Keira came back in and Taya offered a handshake. Keira was reluctant and while she was pondering, Mary came in and took her down, and the match fell into a rudo breakdown.
Los rudos double-teamed Faby, who rolled outside to escape. Keira came back in and attacked Mary but Taya dragged her off and they double-teamed her, with Mary kicking her in the head. Faby implored el Hijo del Tirantes to get a grip onthings but he simply wasn’t interested.
Los técnicos made their comeback and this time el Hijo del Tirantes did act, dragging Faby off Mary and getting a wheelbarrow armdrag out of the ring for his trouble.
Los rudos got back in the ring, and Faby got Taya in a surfboard at the same time Mary got Keira in one. El Hijo del Tirantes pulled Taya out of Faby’s submission, and then Faby got up and kicked Mary until she dropped Keira.
Mary & Keira went at it, with Mary playing immovable object, and she got a nearfall on Keira with a powerbomb. Keira then got a nearfall of her own with a roll-up, dropkicked Mary in to the corner and this is a pretty sweet match.
Taya broke up another Keira nearfall on Mary and then hit a whacky facebuster for a two-count, which was broken by Faby who hit a different whacky facebuster for another two, this time broken up by Mary.
Mary & Faby then went at it, and Faby got a nearfall with a roll-up. Mary escaped outside but Faby went after her and hit a rana off the apron. Mary then threw Faby into the ringpost, and then Keira threw Mary into the ringpost.
Back in the ring, Keira & Taya paired off, and Taya got a nearfall with a kind of slingblade, before Keira got a two-count with a bridging German suplex. Taya then hit a Northern Lights suplex, rolled through into a foot stomp, and then sat down for a pin for the three-count. That was good stuff.
Backstage, Texano Jr & el Hijo del Fantasma are having a photoshoot when their luxury goods guy walks in. He has a box with him and they talk about setting him up with Taya. This makes him happy but then Texano Jr says he’ll set him up with Mary Apache. He’s less happy about this.
They showed last week’s la Secta versus los Güeros del Cielo bloody brawl.
The next match was Murder clown, Monsther Clown & el Elegido versus Electro Shock, el Hijo del Pirata Morgan & Kronos.
Where’s Psycho Clown? Oh yeah, he was in that three-way last week. So it’s just the freakier members of los Psycho Circus, who are still massively over despite being hideous freaks.
Ha, Monsther Clown just grabbed a kid from the crowd. That’s so wrong.
El Elegido’s entrance was all sinister lights and music but the girls LOVE him. He’s jakked and has a Batman mask. He danced and the girls SCREAMED. He teased taking off his pants and wiggled his bum. So it’s two clowns and a male stripper. MEXICO!
Last week I thought that the third guy in Electro Shock’s group was called Holocausto. It turns out that’s the group’s name. His name is Kronos. Very metal.
They were brawling before the entrances had finished and it was straight into the rudo breakdown. Old man Rafa el Maya had his hands full with this one
Brawl, brawl, brawl, brawl, brawl. With the beating he took, Monsther clown wasn’t much of a monsther although they were all taking a beating here.
Electro Shock started whipping el Elegido with his belt. Rafa el Maya told him not to. Electro Shock ignored him. Standard.
I really like Murder Clown for some reason. I think it’s the tiny hat on his deformed head that does it for me.
Los rudos tried to take off Monsther Clown’s mask and the crowd were HOT for los técnicos. So, of course, the show went to a commercial break.
After the break, Monsther Clown made a comeback. He was joined by Murder Clown and el Elegido, and Monsther Clown hit a splash onto all three rudos! Viva los técnicos!
El Elegido grabbed Electro Shock’s belt and began a’whuppin’! Murder Clown had a go, and then Monsther Clown had a go, too. Electro Shock took a powder and los técnicos stood tall!
Los rudos decided to leave but then changed their minds. After a huddle they came back to the ring – let the actual match begin!
Murder Clown & el Hijo del Pirata Morgan did some lucha, and el Hijo del Pirata Morgan got sent outside. Kronos came in and clotheslined Murder Clown out of the ring. El Elegido & Kronos then went at it, and el Elegido kicked Kronos in the head and he, too, left the ring.
Electro Shock came in and el Elegido posed at him. he did not flex his pecs, which disappointed fans of Lex Luger everywhere. Electro Shock locked on a whacky submission and Monsther Clown came in to break it up.
Monsther Clown hit a Gorilla Press Slam on Electro Shock for a nearfall, which was broken by el Hijo del Pirata Morgan. The clown squared up to the pirate, who was reluctant to engage him, but found his courage and took him down with a dropkick. He then tried a sunset flip but Monsther Clown stood strong and picked him up to Gorilla Press Slam him. Kronos stopped him but el Hijo del Pirata Morgan spilled to the outside.
Murder Clown came in and dropkicked Kronos out of the ring and then hit a flip plancha, but Kronos & el Hijo del Pirata Morgan moved, sending Murder Clown careening into Monsther Clown.
Back in the ring, Electro Shock & el Elegido had a slap battel and then el Elegido got a nearfall with a roll-through. He tried to follow up with a double-underhook something but Kronos & el Hijo del Pirata Morgan broke it up, and then all three rudos hit a whacky triple-team piledriver and a whacky triple-team cutter for the win.
After the match, los rudos beat on el Elegido until the clowns made the save and cleaned house.
Somewhere, Mesías cut a talky by night vision. I have no idea what he said and let’s blame that on his Boricuan accent rather than my stunningly poor Spanish, yeah?
Hey, it’s our main event! It’s el Patrón Alberto & Fénix versus Mesías & Brian Cage!
Cage came out to generic heavy metal music. Maybe the GMSI on his pants stands for “Generic Metal Sends (me) In”?
Mesías bores me. He is so good as Mil Muertes on Lucha Underground and has that old school body shape, perfect for a 1960s throwback. Here he’s just a greasy long-hair.
On his way to the ring, Fénix stopped for a selfie with a teenage girl. That lad has his priorities right, I’ll give him that.
El Patrón Alberto is over like rover. All the people love him, all the people.
Los rudos piled in from the off, with Cage & Alberto brawling on the outside, and Mesías & Fénix fighting in the ring. What is it with the early rudo breakdowns tonight?
Cage left Alberto lying on the top of the ramp and then went back to help Mesías beat up Fénix. Alberto made it back to the ring but got kicked out of it again. Mesías followed him out and beat him around ringside, then threw him into the crowd. The crowd took selfies. Modern fans.
After punishing him in the ring, Cage took Fénix outside and Mesías dragged Alberto back into the ring. Do-si-do! Alberto made a brief comeback but Cage cut him off as Mesías went outside. Fénix kicked Cage and then dived out onto Mesías.
With the match going back and forth, Alberto went up top to hit the ten punches on Cage and then hit a DDT, but got caught by Mesías with a lungblower. Fénix came in to make the save but Mesías beat him down. Fénix fired back after getting the crowd behind him and flipped, flopped, and flew his way back on top.
Fénix then hit one of those upside down rope bounce thingy RKOs on Cage, who rolled outside to safety with Mesías. Fénix then did a reverse 619 fakeout before Alberto hit a topé suicida onto Cage,. Fénix tried an Asai moonsault onto Mesías but Mesías caught him and pulled him down onto the floor.
Mesías then went into the ring so he could hit a topé out of it but Fénix followed him in and RKOd him. Alberto hit a lungblower on Mesías and then took Cage down before dumping Mesías out of the ring.
While Alberto’s back was turned, Cage readied a discus clothesline, which missed, and then they took each other down with a double clothesline.
Mesías and Fénix came in. Mesías hit a Super Punch but then missed a dive into the corner, sending him outside. Fénix then hit an Asai moonsault off the top rope out onto Mesías.
Back in the ring, Alberto took off his t-shirt – he means business now – and went at it with Cage. Alberto hit an armhold DDT and signalled for the armbar. He locked on a cross armbreaker but Cage powered out into a single-arm sitout powerbomb for a nearfall, broken up by Fénix.
Fénix kicked Cage but got caught by Mesías. Mesías whipped him into the ropes and Fénix hit another of those upside down rope bounce thingies, but this time Mesías caught him and German suplex’d him.
Alberto chopped Mesías down, and Mesías rolled out of the ring. Alberto went for a topé but Mesías punched him as he came through the ropes.
Fénix took Cage down and hit a 450 splash off the top for a nearfall. Cage came back with a powerbomb and then hit Weapon X for the win.
After the match, los rudos beat on Alberto but he fought back and cleared the ring. He grabbed a mic’ and cut a talky on Cage about their match at Verano de Escándalo, before los rudos stormed back into the ring and jumped los técnicos to end the show.
This was an Okay Show. The opener was lots of fun and the rest was brawly, brawly stuff, but it’s all building nicely to Verano de Escándalo on June 14th. Next week we get to see the Lucha Libre World Cup – STOKED!