As of the time I write this, nobody quite knows the future of TNA, and this could be the very last iMPACT Testing that we know of, what a glorious four week run we’ve had. With that being said, let’s get into this week’s episode of Impact.

The show opens hyping the Lethal Lockdown main event, which is absolutely absurd. Three days before your biggest main event of the year, EC3 vs. Bobby Lashley, you’re going to put them in a steel cage?! Better yet, four of the matches this Sunday are involved in this Lethal Lockdown main event. Team EC3 consists of EC3, Aron Rex, Moose, and Gail Kim where Team Lashley has Lashley, Drew Galloway, Mike Bennett and Maria with the winning team can pick the gimmick to the main event title bout between EC3 and Lashley. Other than the fact that Bobby Lashley sounds drunk when he speaks, the segment did what it set out to do, garner some interest for the main event.

As we seen last week, Eddie Edwards asked DJZ to give him a title match on Impact and not at Bound for Glory, okay then. There’s no promoted X-Division match for the pay per view but whose counting? The match starts, and the crowd seems handcuffed, to the point where when DJZ hits a tope onto Edwards 90% of the front row no sells it. Edwards then hits a tope of his own and sells the leg, hits a chin checker. DJZ attempt a barrel roll DDT but just hops into a fireman’s carry by Edwards who tries to powerbomb DJZ, but it’s reversed into a hurricanrana, only getting a two count. Edwards lowers his knee pad, signaling for the Boston Knee Party, DJZ tries for the barrel roll DDT one more time, hits it and retains his championship. Following the match Trevor Lee and Andrew Everett attack DJZ, throwing him into a steel post while Edwards gets dropped onto Lee’s knee via drop toe hold. The Helms Dynasty stands tall. Yes, the Hurricane has a dynasty. For the time given, this match was good. A paint by numbers X-Division match.

We get two backstage segments, one being Maria yelling at Allie once again. Tonight she will be Laurel Van Ness’s ring announcer and she better not screw up. We also get a sit-down interview with Mike Bennett and Moose, hyping their Bound for Glory match this Sunday. Neither done anything for me, Moose seems stiff when it comes to talking, and the reactions that should come along with it and I was sick of the Maria and Allie feud before it started. It’s now time for a match between Laurel Van Ness and Madison Rayne, where the highlight came after many horrible forearms by Rayne, Van Ness demands that Allie powders her face. Yep, that’s it. The match then ends with an awkward curb stomp by Van Ness for the win. This match doesn’t even deserve its own sentence.


Back in the ring Drew Galloway asks to talk to Aron Rex, saying that when he arrived in TNA there were cracks in its foundation and he has rebuilt this place into the company it is today. Not the greatest choice of words with all things considered. He also tells Rex that he makes a good stunt double, but you can’t follow the son of God. Meanwhile, all Rex has to say is to “Keep Galloway-ing it up.” Let’s just make up words; that’s how you get over. Galloway piledrives Rex for this injustice on the English language and poses with the TNA Grand Championship.

It’s now time to see just what Decay and the Hardy Family is up to this week; Decay is backstage saying that once Rosemary gets her hands on Reby Sky tonight, Maxel will never recognize her again. We then get a killer hype video to Bound for Glory highlighting this feud. The match was nothing to write home about; the work rate was okay at best, but one thing TNA has over the WWE is the women feel more important and their storylines matter. Reby kicks Rosemary in the va-jay-jay and hits a twist of fate; Decay distract the ref and Rosemary sprays the mist into Reby’s eyes. Earl disqualifies Rosemary. The two factions brawl around the Impact Zone. Rosemary and Reby are on the apron; Rosemary puts Reby through a table with a side effect and chants decay. Backstage, Crazy Steve and Jeff grab each other’s eyes while Broken Matt then bashes Abyss with a ladder and eats his ear. Steve then has Hardy’s head placed in a steel chair and slams it against a weight bearing beam. Abyss electrocutes Matt and all three members of Decay laugh as we fade to black. While I found this to be entertaining, I don’t really see how this added to the feud. It brought a much-needed boost to differentiate between themselves and the WWE by using Lucha Underground-ish backstage segments minus the kung-fu action of course.


In amongst all this, we get Lashley winning the coin toss, Maria asking Gail Kim and the whole world, or at least 350,000 “You still think TNA is a wrestling business don’t ya?” she then says “TNA is an entertainment business and I’m in the star of making business.” This was a damn pretape, you couldn’t reshoot? If all that isn’t mind numbing enough we get a pointless Eli Drake and Tyrese segment where Drake would like to team up with Tyrese in a gold rush match? I could be wrong, but I live my life by one motto, never rewind a Brodus Clay aka Tyrese segment.

It’s time for our main event, our unnecessary over the top main event three days before Bound for Glory! It’s as if they prepared for the possibility that if the pay per view doesn’t happen, at least we ended with a Lethal Lockdown match. I’m going to breeze through this quickly because no one needs to know how many kicks, chops or punches there were in this match. In case you’re wondering, there’s a lot. Mike Bennet starts the match instead of Lashley, that’s one upside, I don’t think I need to elaborate on why EC3 and Lashley alone in a cage this close to Bound for Glory is a bad idea. God damn the bacne on these two! They’re in there alone for what seems like forever. Rex comes out, and he and Galloway do some ground and pound, I surely hope that’s not what we’re going to get at Bound for Glory. Lashley then comes out after letting his goons do the dirty work and picks up the pieces to finish off EC3. Moose then enters to save the day but is taken down quickly. Maria walks to the ring and says she’s not getting in the ring because she’s not ready. That is until Gail comes out and she chases Maria around the ring and drags her inside but Maria quickly escapes and runs to the back, Kim takes chase. Lashley then hits a spear on EC3 and submits him with a choke for the victory. Boring match, skip it.


This whole show was skippable which is a bad thing to say towards what could have been the last TNA Impact we ever see. No match was a highlight, what could have been a good match between Edwards and DJZ was too short to get any momentum started at all. The Hardy segment was good, but for god sakes, there’s no need to watch Rosemary and Reby Sky battle it out. Don’t forget to check back later in the week for Impact Testing: Bound for Glory, if it ever happens…

2 out of 5