Slobber Knocker Box is a monthly subscription service where wrestling nerds alike can get a uniquely packaged box of wrestling themed merchandise delivered right to their front door. With subscriptions starting at just £8.00 per month there’s every reason why you should join in the fun and get your hands on some brilliant wrestling stock.
Arriving at my door, slightly disheveled from what I imagine was a rather strenuous journey from the UK to Melbourne, Australia, is the January Slobber Knocker Box. What goodies are in store this month?
Upon opening the box, I find a couple of medium-sized black t-shirts rolled around a mug. There’s a faint vinegary smell on the shirts, manufactured by Fruit of the Loom and of good quality. One is a parody of CM Punk’s popularised two-fists logo endorsing the ‘Ellsworth Enhancement Society’. I have to admit, I’m slightly offended. The other is a ‘Smack Talker Skywalker’ shirt paying homage to one of the many catalogue quotes from Enzo Amore. Not my favourite quote given I don’t care so much for Star Wars (I can hear mobs rallying and pitchforks clinking).
The white mug features simple black logos of the current NXT Tag champs. I am a fan of both Ciampa/Gargano and hot beverages, so it’s a tick from me.
Packed neatly underneath the t-shirts I find two wrestling DVD’s. The first is from Premier British Wrestling: Maximum Impact IX (Greenock Town Hall – 24/10/15). My eyes go straight to cute wee Noam Dar placed in the bottom centre of the cover. The event highlights names like Grado, Big Damo, Wolfgang and BT Gunn on the card.
The second DVD is from Attack! Pro Wrestling: How Do You Learn to Fall Off a 20ft Ladder? (3rd April 2016 – Walkabout, Cardiff). There are some names I’m not all that familiar with (being a foreigner and all), but that’s probably my fault – I am interested to see what this “Ginger Jesus” Mike Bird has to offer. But then there’s guys like Pete Dunne and Tyler Bate, who’ve I’ve recently become acquainted with in the WWE’s United Kingdom Championship Tournament Network Special. I most definitely look forward to uncovering corners of the British Independent scene I haven’t been fortunate enough to encounter until now with these DVD’s.
Scattered beneath the contents already unpacked are a few Golden Stars signed card collection. Ruben Cabral created Golden Stars (find Golden Stars on Twitter at @GoldenStarsUK) out of a love of British Pro Wrestling in early 2016, with a checklist of 15 stars including El Ligero, Zack Sabre Jr and Lionheart. In my package, I’ve picked up Mark Haskins, Xia Brookside and Donovan Dijak, but Dijak hasn’t signed his. Awkward. The redeeming factor is the signed photo of Will Ospreay. Not bad.
Finally, a glossy comic book sits below the rubble. Immediately I think, “Eh, my nerdy boyfriend might like this.” At this point you’re probably thinking, “Do you like anything?” That would also be a fair call, what kind of wrestling nerd am I?
The book is the first in the ‘WWE Heroes’ series: Rise of the First Born (2010) written by Keith Champagne. It’s adorned by amazing visual art by Andy Smith among others and published by Titan Books. The story is set in a Universe where the powers of good and evil have battled for time eternal and the firstborn children of light and darkness are reincarnated, mighty warriors of a generation. One of these warriors is good, and the other is evil, and they’re all wrestlers fighting for the richest prize in sports entertainment, the future of the human race.
That’s just about where it loses me. With Triple H plastered on the cover (who else), and overly muscley cameos of the likes of Jericho, Orton, Big Show, McMahon, Undertaker, Roddy Piper and Snuka, WWE taps into a demographic that is relatively fresh to their exploitative repertoire.
Overall, great value for money, with a monthly subscription starting at £8.00 per month. But the contents aren’t guaranteed to be everyone’s cup of tea. I would highly recommend Slobber Knocker to collectible fanatics or die-hard wrestling fan who loves their kitsch and surprise treats.
Check out the Slobber Knocker Box to order your monthly bundle today!