Welcome to the most must-see Vulture Hound weekly review in history; welcome to… The SmackDown Review
I’m not always on point with my review preambles but this week I needn’t say much at all, as for once, I’m more than happy to let SmackDown do all the talking. Yet, it’s my obligation to provide a review for this magazine so you’ll have to take my word for it that this weeks SmackDown was pretty darn awesome.
The SmackDown GM, Daniel Bryan, opened the show in front of his “hometown” crowd. He continued being the ultimate babyface by talking about his retirement – It’s been about a year already! He further stated, though things haven’t gone how he wanted, he is grateful for everything. In walks the The Miz and Maryse to continue their contemptuous behaviour towards Bryan. Then in walked Corbin and then Styles who all wanted a piece of the actions. Last and by all means least was Dean Ambrose who added his say regarding the impending Elimination Chamber match. The men continued to argue until Daniel Bryan stood in and finally did some people management. He declared the first match of the night was to be made a Fatal 4-Way match between them as a teaser for Sunday’s PPV.
The match itself was perfect from start to finish with all 4 men providing spots to wet the whistle ahead of Sunday. Throughout the match The Miz continued to mock Daniel Bryan by using his Yes kicks and even a version of the Running Knee, all in front of the bearded ones home crowd. Eventually it was Baron Corbin who won the match after he hit AJ Styles with the End of Days. Seriously, my words can’t give justice to most things let alone this match so head to the WWE network and watch it, pronto!
Less Interesting Stuff:
– Tom Phillips (at his usual height this time), conducted an interview with Natalya and Nikki Bella, who were in separate locations. In the end, Nikki got offended by Natalya’s face or something and the pair both agreed that Total Bella’s is less interesting than watching your mum do her pilates. Okay, so maybe that last bit didn’t happen but it was better than this entire feud, right?
– Apollo Crews defeated Dolph Ziggler. After the match, Ziggler again got out his best friend, the steel chair, and repeatedly attacked Crews who lay on all fours taking it like a man. Captain Kalisto then came to the rescue. Or so he tried before he was also smashed with a steel chair. Backstage, Daniel Bryan ridiculed Ziggler for his constant use of post match steel chair attacks and made it official that Ziggler would face both Crews and Kalisto in a 2 on 1 handicap match at Elimination Chamber. An odd match up but I do kind of want to see how it pans out.
– Renee Young hosted the a dual contract signing for the matches between Alexa Bliss vs. Naomi and Mickie James vs. Becky Lynch at Elimination Chamber. As expected, all four women smack talked each other which ultimately ended in fisticuffs with Naomi and Lynch left in the ring.
– There’s still no clue what is going on with the tag team division. Another 6 man tag match and I might just about send a strongly worded letter to the creative team. The match ended with Rhyno hitting Konnor with a Gore but was then struck by Viktor’s knee off the middle rope to get the pin. So Breezango lost again and it wasn’t even their fault.
A slight prelude to the main event of the night, between John Cena and Randy Orton, featured Luke Harper in what can only be described as a darkened version of Mankind’s Boiler Room. In this segment, Harper went on to say that he will eliminate Randy Orton at Elimination Chamber. In the match, the ref took the smallest of bumps which rendered him unable to see Orton tapping out to the STF. Wyatt and Orton then beat down Cena and Wyatt hit the Sister Abigail on Big Match John. Being the babyface, Harper then came to the ring and stared down Wyatt. Bray, believing himself to still have control over Harper, told him to leave but Harper responded by hitting his former leader with the discus lariat. Orton then tried to RKO Harper but the latter shoved him off right into the patch of an AA from Cena for the pinfall victory.
Elimination Chamber and our latest edition of SteelChair magazine are all on the way this week. You lucky people!