The wheels keep turning and your mum keeps complaining. Yet, here we all are watching another edition of SmackDown Live with expected reluctancy. Thank you to the lovely Steph for covering me last week but don’t worry friends, just like Paige, “I’m baaaaack”. Welcome to the most must-see Vulture Hound weekly review in history; welcome to… The SmackDown Review.

Opening the show was Shane McMahon, who brought out Daniel Bryan to complain that the Yes Man wasn’t living up to his name and doing his orders. Shane was annoyed that Daniel didn’t fire Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens last week despite winning their match against the New Day. Bryan made it perfectly clear that he doesn’t take orders and he believes Zayn and Owens may have caused SmackDown to lose to Raw at Survivor Series but they’re still talented and important to the brand. Shane did have some praise for Bryan, who liked the match up between Owens and Orton for the night’s main event. However, he had to put his own spin on it and made the match No DQ and banned Sami Zayn from ringside. Which is a weird paradox considering if Zayn did interfere it wouldn’t cause a disqualification anyway.

The Bits Your Sister Liked:

– Before the match could even start, Jinder Mahal attacked Styles, who was set to face the Singh Brothers in a 2 on 1 Handicap match. As the match grew on, so did Styles as he delivered an amazing second-rope Styles Clash by holding one Singh Brother and landing on the other for the win. Furious, Mahal also attacked the Singhs after the match. I’m sure nothing will come of that.

– In a backstage segment, Baron Corbin turned down Bobby Roode’s challenge to put his US Title on the line.

– The New Day defeated Benjamin and Gable. The most interesting thing about this was Big E handing The Usos, who were sat in on commentary, a peace offering of pancakes.

– In more tag action, The Bludgeon Brothers once again defeated the Hype Bros with their tandem finisher on Zack Ryder. After the match, Mojo Rawley attacked Ryder during an interview and beat him down, yelling that the Hype Bros are dead. I didn’t actually see that one coming.

– The now named “Riott Squad” consisting of Ruby Riott, Liv Morgan and Sara Logan defeated the unlikely trio of Naomi, Charlotte Flair and Natalya. Natalya walked away from her team and Naomi was launched into the steel steps, leaving Charlotte all on her own. The Women’s Champion tried to put up a fight but it was Riott who hit her overhead kick finisher for the victory.

– The latest edition of Fashion Files had Breezango feature in ‘Sawed’ – a parody of the Jigsaw killer series. They awoke locked inside some chains alongside The Ascension. As they figured out how to escape from their mysterious tormentor the pair left behind The Ascension who labelled them as “friends” before being seemingly killed. Sad face.

Zayn Interfered:

The aforementioned main event featured Kevin Owens taking on Randy Orton in a No Disqualification match. The pair brawled and eventually found their way in to the crowd and on to the stage where Sami Zayn interfered. The Underdog from the Underground attacked Orton with a chair on the ramp but it wasn’t enough to stop the Viper who hit Owens back in the ring with a Spike DDT. Owens fought back however and finally won via pinfall with a bullfrog splash.

By Bradley Tiernan

"Wrestling is better than the things you like" - John Oliver