Fastlane is mere days away and things have actually started to get interesting for once in the SmackDown camp. John Cena gave his obligatory promo ahead of the PPV last night on Raw so we didn’t have to put up with whatever typical spiel he had to say. Welcome to the most must-see Vulture Hound weekly review in history; welcome to… The SmackDown Review.

Letting the women open the show, and finally giving meaning to their feud, we had Ruby Riott in a face-to-face confrontation with the champion, Charlotte Flair. Riott informed us all of the reason why she formed the Riott Squad: to “destroy the myth of Charlotte”. Literally, she isn’t a myth, as we can physically see her, but Riott seemed adamant that she will become the new SmackDown Women’s Champion on Sunday.

The middle part of the show where I go to make food:

– The first match saw the modern day Maharrrrraja, Jinder Mahal defeat Randy Orton whilst Bobby Roode sat in on commentary. Inevitably, Roode tried to get involved, which distracted Orton and allowed Mahal to hit Khallas for the win.

– There was an epic premade promo for the SmackDown Tag Team Championship match between The Usos and The New Day ahead of Fastlane.

– Backstage, Rusev challenged Shinsuke Nakamura to a match at Fastlane, which was accepted. Nakamura also parodied Rusev’s/Aiden English’s catchphrase by saying “Nakamuraaaa day”. Personally I think he should have called it “Shin-skay-day”, but what do I know about puns?

– The producers have started using live graphics on screen again and it’s weird.

– Becky Lynch defeated Carmella. Lynch made Carmella tap out with the Disarmer, which leads me to believe Carmella will have a failed cash-in with her Money in the Bank to an Asuka Lock, once the Empress has the title.

Fastlane to WrestleMania:

Ahead of his scheduled main event match against Dolph Ziggler, AJ Styles came to the ring and cut a promo similar to that of the babyface character in a WWE 2K video game. Styles said he doesn’t care what John Cena wants; the match that he and the WWE Universe wants at WrestleMania is Styles vs. Nakamura. Ziggler interrupted Styles to say he can take his dream match and shove it. Oh, edgy Ziggles!

The match ended in an early no contest when Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens ambushed the ring to beat down both men. Styles and Ziggler fought them off, and Shane McMahon arrived to order a Fatal Five-Way and included Baron Corbin into the match.

In the reattempt of the main event, Ziggler landed multiple Zig Zags whilst Kevin Owens received the smallest of Deep Sixes from Baron Corbin. Shockingly, it was Sami Zayn who won the match after he smashed his best friend, Kevin Owens in the face with a Helluva Kick.

This once again confirmed that it is every man for himself this Sunday at Fastlane.

By Bradley Tiernan

"Wrestling is better than the things you like" - John Oliver