SmackDown Live looked to follow on from the Greatest Royal Rumble by addressing some key issues. Important questions have been raised, such as “why doesn’t AJ Styles just wear a protective cup?” and “did I deliberately choose a picture that looks like Nakamura has his hand up Style’s ass?” The answers to such questions might be featured in this review. Welcome to the most must-see Vulture Hound weekly review in history; welcome to… The SmackDown Review.

Miz > Jesus:

For the second week running, The Miz opened the show with another thrilling edition of Miz TV. His guests were Jeff Hardy and Randy Orton who, in classic Miz fashion, he tried to turn against each other. This was centred around the fact that both Hardy and Orton have stolen each other’s matches in previous weeks. However, as far as Orton was concerned “they’re even”.

This eventually brought out Shelton Benjamin who said some words about being better than the others. You know, classic heel stuff. As he tried to get into the ring he was greeted by a punt to the face from Orton. The resulting match saw Orton and Hardy defeat Miz and Benjamin in tag team action with relative ease. You know the drill: Orton hit an RKO on Benjamin, then Hardy followed it up with a Swanton Bomb to win the match. Then there was the obligatory RKO “outta nowhere” for Jeff Hardy.

The middle bits:

– The New Day and The Bar argued about pancakes. Yep. This resulted in a match, which Xavier Woods won by rolling Sheamus up into a small package.

– Lana told Rusev that Aiden English “something” is holding him back.

– Big Cass brought out a little person dressed as Daniel Bryan, then kicked him in the face. Kinda thought we were past this kind of low-brow humour but apparently, Vince thinks midgets are hilarious.

– The main event featured Charlotte Flair, Becky Lynch and Asuka taking on the IIconics and Carmella. The highlight of the match saw Charlotte land a sick af moonsault to the outside of the ring on her opponents. In the end, it was Asuka who won the match for her team with an Asuka Lock on Peyton Royce.

– Paige told Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville that Absolution is dead, and announced Rose vs. Becky Lynch for next week.

What a load of bollocks:

Earlier in the show, AJ Styles cut another promo on Shinsuke Nakamura. It wasn’t long until he was interrupted by Samoa Joe who launched into a tirade before declaring he will be coming for the WWE Championship once he’s done with Roman Reigns.

As Joe was leaving, Nakamura’s music hit but the Artist didn’t come down the ramp. Instead, he snuck up behind Styles and punched him in the two sweets AGAIN. Nakamura then hit a Kinshasa on Styles for good measure. The pair will go one on one in a no DQ match at Backlash this Sunday.

By Bradley Tiernan

"Wrestling is better than the things you like" - John Oliver