I’m starting to sound like a broken record but, it’s true (and it’s so cool too…), another stacked episode to come this week… Su Yung prepared some special funerals for Rosemary, Brian Cage is continuing his world tour. And in the Impact Zone, Tessa Blanchard will make her official debut against Kiera Hogan, Sami Callihan and Eddie Edwards may finally put an end to their feud in a House of Hardcore match. Scott Steiner and Eli Drake are putting the Tag Team Championships on the line against Z&E, aka DJ Z and Andrew Everett, and, in the main event, Impact World Champion Pentagon Junior and AAA Latin America Champion El Hijo del Fantasma will square off with The Belt Collector Austin Aries and X-Division Champion Matt Sydal. No more words, let’s get ready for some action, your French Enygma Steph way, of course…

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzAU8w01fG8]

Impact World Tag Team Championship Match: Eli Drake & Scott Steiner (c) vs. Z&E (DJZ & Andrew Everett)

Everett started the match with Drake and quickly hit a dropkick. Nice teamwork from Z&E who connected with stereo low dropkicks on Drake. DJZ followed with a reverse elbow off the second turnbuckle. Steiner hit a cheap shot to DJZ’s back, allowing Drake to hit a neckbreaker. Steiner unloaded a few punches and chops, before a classic belly-to-belly suplex. Drake back in the ring to throw DJZ into the corner, but he fought back with a boot. DJZ went for a crossbody, got caught and was sent into the corner. A tagged in Steiner put DJ Z on the second rope and hit a very nice Fallaway Samoan drop.

DJZ finally got Steiner down and both tagged out. Everett unloaded a kick to the head on Drake, a springboard kick and a Pele kick (in France we say Papinade… you have the right to ask me why on Twitter) on Drake, after hitting Steiner. DJZ in to hit more double team stereo dropkicks on Steiner and put him down. Drake fought off DJZ and Everett. He went for the Gravy Train, but Everett and Z replied with a marvel of a codebreaker/sunset flip powerbomb combo. Steiner tried to bring in a chair, but a double baseball slide stopped him. A stunned Steiner mistakenly hit Drake with the chair, Everett rolled up Drake for the win. Z&E couldn’t believe they did it. Backstage they confessed they both came back from injuries and they finally got where they are now. Petey Williams came to congratulate them.

Madison Rayne joined Josh Mathews to comment the Knockouts match.

Tessa Blanchard vs. Kiera Hogan

Hogan attacked at the bell, taking control. She followed with corner attacks, running wild on Blanchard and laying boots to her. Blanchard cut her off and dropped her off the top rope, before laying more boots to her. Blanchard hit a draping flatliner. She connected with knee strikes and a dropkick. Blanchard got nervous but Hogan fired up and laid in running elbow strikes. Hogan followed with a leg drop. Blanchard quickly cut her off with a cutter. The hammerlock DDT finished it.

After the match, Tessa attacked Kiera and threw her into the ring post. Madison Rayne couldn’t tolerate that and ended up leaving the announce table. She threw Tessa off Kiera. “Who the hell do you think you are?” Tessa yelled. Rayne ran at her but Tessa left the ring and taunted Rayne from the ramp.

– Grado, with Katarina, accused Jimmy Jacobs and Kongo Kong of attacking Joseph Park. Jacobs said he’s a good guy but his accusations were unfounded. Katarina then said Grado isn’t scared of them and will fight anytime, any place. Grado didn’t seem very thrilled.

Kongo Kong (with Jimmy Jacobs) vs. Grado (with Katarina)

The Titanic pose on the ropes is a must-see… mostly when the Titanic Grado was about to sink… What to say, he tried, he did his best. But Kongo Kong is bending but never breaking. Grado hit a few punches and shoulder blocks, but Kongo chopped him, made him taste a belly-to-belly overhead suplex. Grado succeeded in getting Kongo off his feet, but like I said, Kongo is bending, not breaking. A body slam and a splash later, Grado was done.

After the match, Katarina decided to bail on her boyfriend but quickly fled. Kongo launched Grado into the steps. Jacobs and Kong put the steps on the ropes like they did with Johnny Impact. Kongo went to launch Grado and out came Moose. Jacobs distracted him long enough for Kongo to pop Moose and send him into the ring. Moose replied with a kick and clotheslines and sent Kongo to the floor.

– Backstage, Trevor Lee and Caleb Konley joked about Konnan not being around, Santana and Ortiz didn’t appreciate.

House of Hardcore Street Fight: Eddie Edwards vs. Sami Callihan

Before the match, Tommy Dreamer tried to say to Eddie Edwards that after this low blow will be over, but Edwards disagreed and grabbed a kendo stick. A hardcore match means weapons and on the menu, we had a baseball bat, a kendo stick, some chairs, pipes, wooden skewers, bottles, spikes… Edwards attacked during his entrance and ran wild, beating down Sami on the floor. Sami fought back, but Edwards fired back with a suicide dive. This led to more floor brawling, and Sami using a pipe to attack Edwards. Sami tried to use a spike, but Edwards strangled the eyes.

The fight went to the ramp, and Sami hit a Death Valley Driver on the ramp. Back in the ring and onto the apron, Edwards hit Sami with a can of beer and followed with a DDT on the apron. Back in, Edwards got the pipe, Sami has one as well and they sword fought with the pipes, very Star Wars… Edwards finally put Sami down and grabbed a kendo stick. He laid in kendo shots on Sami, but Sami spat at him and hit a nasty low blow (nutcracker moment #1) followed by a shoulder breaker. Sami set up some chairs and went for a powerbomb, but Edwards hit a low blow too (nutcracker moment #2). Sami fired up and hit a falcon arrow onto the chairs. Sami grabbed his bat, but Edwards hit the Boston knee party to pick up the win.

After the match, a frantic Edwards choked Callihan with the bat until security and referees were able to get him out of there. Dreamer headed out and tried to talk with Edwards. But Edwards threatened him with the bat.

Brian Cage vs. Facade

We’re in Canada, in Destiny Wrestling, for the next step of Brian Cage’s world tour. Highlights of the match but nothing new under the sun. Cage powerbombed his opponent into the ring post, launched him into the barricade. Facade tried a springboard but Cage countered with a full nelson. Another and a Weapon X, and the match was over. Brian Cage is indestructible…

– Funny segment with Fallah Bahh and KM. KM said Bahh has lost 50 to 60 pounds and needed a makeover. So Bahh, with sunglasses and tie, was about to flirt with Kiera Hogan.

Like in Japanese Nô Theatre, very few words but everything was visual. A bunch of Su Yung’s Undead Bridesmaids were carrying Rosemary’s coffin into a cemetery. Yung dropped some dead roses on the coffin and told the group to move the coffin. The group moved ahead and suddenly stopped, dropping the coffin. Yung freaked out, spread her mist and shot fire from her mouth on the coffin, putting it on fire. She laughed as she watched the coffin burn. Gloomy and beautiful (to watch here)… I’ll break the kayfabe, but Rosemary is of course not dead, she’s suffering from a torn ACL and will be out of action for at least 6 months.

Matt Sydal and Austin Aries vs. Pentagon Jr. and El Hijo del Fantasma

Sydal and Pentagon started off with some back and forth. Sydal then grounded things, but he got back to his feet and Sydal laid in some kicks. Fantasma hit a hurricanrana and they work into a standoff. Aries and Pentagon were tagged in and went face to face. Taunting before an arm drag from Aries, Pentagon cut him off with a kick and threatened to break the arm, but Aries powdered.

After the break, Pentagon sent Aries to the floor with a dropkick. He followed with an apron superkick and Fantasma hit a suicide dive onto Sydal. They all brawled on the floor as the Luchadores worked over Sydal with chops. Back in they isolated Aries. But Sydal came back in and they dumped him to the floor to focus on Aries. Fantasma grabbed Aries’ legs the Dudley Boyz way and Pentagon then missile dropkicked Aries in his ass (RIP nice looking bottom…). They hit a double team Codebreaker on Sydal. Aries back in hit a senton elbow strike and then worked over Fantasma. Sydal back in and they double-teamed Fantasma in the corner. Nice double-team work from Aries and Sydal.

Aries flew in with the double sledge, but Sydal then accidentally kneed Aries and Fantasma got the tag to Pentagon. He ran wild, hit a sling blade and a backstabber. Sydal then flew in with the Meteora double knees on Fantasma, but Pentagon takes him out. Pentagon cut off a suicide dive from Aries, while Sydal hit a cutter on Fantasma. Fantasma battled back, headed up top and Sydal hits a hurricanrana to send him back to the mat. Sydal hit the Shooting Star Press but met with a superkick from Pentagon superkick. Fantasma hit the Thrill of the Kill.

Yes, I confess, I sound like a broken record, because this episode was again a very good one. DJ Z and Andrew Everett were absolutely impressive, the main event was awesome, the Street Fight match was devilishly good. And let’s not forget the dark beauty of the funerals. The one who didn’t impress me was Tessa Blanchard, she knows she’s good, we know it too. 

Great news as in 2 weeks, we’ll have a special event called Under Pressure. And the card already sounds great. Austin Aries will try to regain the World Championship against Pentagon Junior. Allie will face off with Su Yung for the Knockouts Championship. Tessa Blanchard vs. Madison Rayne is also on the card. My friends, we’re blessed. And if you agree with me, of course, I see you next week… And never forget to stay #eNYGMAtic… 

All pics, videos, and screenshots courtesy of Impact Wrestling. Photomontage by @frenchnygma exclusively for @steelchairmag.

Making his IMPACT debut at our June 1st and 2nd tapings at @StClairCollege in Windsor, ON – @GottaGetSwann!

TICKETS: https://t.co/4lMCWbwjLp pic.twitter.com/cWbkEKeDHM

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) May 15, 2018

I’m sure you already heard about it, but Rich Swann will make his debut with Impact Wrestling during the next set of tapings in Windsor, Ontario, on June 1 and 2. He could be a serious contender for the X-Division title…