We’re exactly one week away from Slammiversary and how exciting the last weeks have been! The last 3 episodes were just a blast to watch. As you know, I’ve been reviewing this show for two years now and, when I’m usually afraid before a PPV, this time I’m pumped. Something definitely clicked and that’s just magic… Sometimes, when you want something and you say it loudly, it happens. It happened…
On the menu, this week, from The Melrose Ballroom in New York City, Fallah Bahh and Sami Callihan will compete, again. Su Yung and Havok will team up against Taya Valkyrie and Rosemary. The North will face off The Deaners. LAX and Laredo Kid will square off with The Rascalz. And we’ll hear from Brian Cage’s doctor who’ll provide a medical update on The Machine. So no more words, let’s get ready for some action, but your French Enygma Steph way, of course…
The Nygma’s Chart of the Week
- The North (Josh Alexander & Ethan Page) defeated The Deaners (Cousin Jake & Cody Deaner)
- Taya Valkyrie was with Rosemary complaining about her hangout. They made a contract deal to help each other, meaning Rosemary will get a title shot down the line if she keeps to the agreement. Valkyrie was concerned, but Rosemary reassured she has the champions back in their match against “The Goblins” Su Yung & Jessicka Havok.
- At a House of Hardcore show, Moose speared Tommy Dreamer and blamed Rob Van Dam for it.
- Taya Valkyrie & Rosemary vs. Su Yung & Jessicka Havok ended in a Draw due to Double Countout. After the match, Rosemary speared Su Yung, saving Taya. Havok brought chairs in the ring, but stomped it one in her face. Rosemary revealed a little red bag and spilt hundreds of thumbtacks on to the mat. They tried to double suplex Su Yung into them, but Havok made the save. While fighting their opponents, Yung accidentally hit Havok. They start fighting among themselves, which prompted James Mitchell to come down and put a stop to it.
- Ace Austin said his loss last week was unfair, as the only reason he lost was that he couldn’t be prepared as no one knows Perkins was coming. Perkins joined the interview and told Austin a challenge is coming, so he better get studying.
- The Deaners tried to convince themselves they don’t suck. The Desi Hit Squad showed up and belittled them for celebrating a loss by drinking. They called The Deaners losers before walking away.
- Eddie Edwards was in a church. A priest asked him when was the last time he had a confession. He opened up about everything that he’s lost and that constant voice in his head telling him to do bad things. Somehow, the priest transformed into Killer Kross. Eddie grabbed him, but Kross convinced him not to fight in the church. Kross asked what he’s afraid of… losing himself, or finding himself? Eddie told him he wants to fight, so he was going to wait outside. Kross said he will be waiting a long time .. as he liked it here. He sat down and enjoyed the peace. A priest came over and asked Kross if he wants to confess his sins. Kross admit he confesses his sins every day. He almost hugged the priest, as he let the priest know they will be in confession a long time.
- Swann & Mack challenged Johnny and John E. Bravo to a match later, which he accepted.
- Sami Callihan w/ Madman Fulton defeated Fallah Bahh w/ Scarlett Bordeaux. After the match, Callihan grabbed a mic. He sat down in the middle of the ring and hijacked the show, telling the fans to shut up as he had something important to say. He wanted to say it straight to Tessa’s face, so he ordered her to get out there right now.
Callihan told her she’s not going to do jack shit to him in her high heels because he’s a male and he’s Impact Wrestling. This is where it gets good. So she wants to preach equal rights? She wants to be treated equal, right? Sami attacked Tessa. Thumbs up, thumbs down. Sami failed to see Tessa get back up from the stiff shot and she went to town on him.
The Crist Brothers intervened and held her arms back. Callihan hit her with his baseball bat in the stomach. He licked the bat, before grabbing Tessa by the hair, who spat in his face. Callihan spiked her with the Cactus Jack special. He laid his legs on her, showing off with the ultimate disrespect.
- The Rascalz defeated LAX & Laredo Kid (w/ Konnan).
- Madison Rayne defeated Jordynne Grace two weeks ago. She should be so proud of the win, but unfortunately, the finish was shrouded with controversy due to Kiera Hogan. Madison thought Jordynne should get a rematch but Kiera interrupted and said to Rayne she better met her in the ring next week, to see how ugly it can get.
- In The Rascalz tree house, the guys had to decide who will compete against LAX on PPV. They agreed to a triple threat match next week, with the loser not going to the tag team title match at Slammiversary.
- Brian Cage appeared to be heading to the ring, but Doctor Ariel cut him off and told him he’s not cleared. Cage laughed and called out Big Mike. It’s taken fourteen years to finally claim he’s one of the best in the business. Mike took the biggest celebration of his life away by sending him to the hospital. But here he stood, and Mike was going to find out he can’t break this machine. Doctor Ariel came back but Cage hit him with an F5.
Elgin jumped in the ring and ambushed Cage from behind. Big Mike bucklebombed him and followed with the Elgin Bomb. He picked the title up and taunted the champ with it. As he went to walk away, The Machine held on to his leg. Elgin wasn’t impressed, as he responded with another Elgin Bomb. Mike grabbed a table from under the ring, and set it up on the outside. He picked Cage up again and sent him crashing over the top rope through the table below.
Mike got on commentary and told the world he’s the next champ. Don Callis got in his face, telling him to leave the ringside area or he’ll be fired. Mike punched him and got Callis in the ring. After kicking him in the gut, he thought about hitting the Elgin Bomb on Callis but The Machine has risen. They collided and brawled, as the show came to an end.
The Nygma’s Nutcracker(s) of the Week
– The North vs The Deaners
Josh Alexander and Cousin Jake began the match with several takedowns from Alexander to Jake. After a roll-up, Jake tagged in Cody, who tagged Jake back in again. Both Ethan Page and Alexander backed Jake into their corner and hit numerous kicks. Alexander was busted open in between the eyes. Cody was back in the ring and hit Alexander right where he was injured in the face. Deaner was down on the mat and then got thrown over to one corner side of the ring. Page went over to knock Jake off the ring, to keep him from interfering in the match. Page had Deaner in a headlock, which he was able to get out of. Jake was tagged in and suplexed Alexander to the mat.
He then went over to Page and knocked him off the ring. Alexander then went for an ankle lock on Jake. Deaner back in climbed up the top rope and jumped off, landing on Alexander. Several chest slaps came from Alexander and then once he stopped, Jake went in for some himself. Jake hit a clothesline with both men down. Deaner went up on the second rope, Page was holding his left ankle. Page then got the tag, he and Alexander hit the double Styles Clash for the win.
– Sami Callihan w/ Madman Fulton vs Fallah Bahh w/ Scarlett Bordeaux
In the beginning, Bahh had the lead by pushing Callihan into a corner and attacking him with several jabs. Bahh tried to push Callihan to the opposite side of the ring corner, Callihan was able to escape. Callihan then went for a big kick. Fulton tried to get involved and the referee ejected him from standing ringside on Callihan’s behalf. Callihan gave him several slaps to the face before he left. Callihan had Bahh in a headlock. Bahh was trying to fight back by hitting Callihan in the face. Bahh was able to get up and started going for a few slaps on Callihan.
With Fallah down, Callihan then looked right into the camera and licked it. He went back to attack Bahh and strangled the eyes. He still had the lead and had Bahh on the mat with another headlock. Bahh was now back on his feet and went for a corkscrew flip, putting Callihan down. With Callihan in the corner, Bahh then went back first and slammed right into his face. Bahh broughtCallihan out of the corner and went for a Samoan drop. Callihan escaped the ring trying to get some type of weapon, and Bahh was able to get him and bring him back into the ring before he tried something. Callihan bit Bahh’s hand, then pulled a Special Cactus Driver for the second rope for the win.
– LAX & Laredo Kid vs The Rascalz
Kid began the match after a long stare down from both teams. Ortiz went for a cannonball to knockout Wentz and Dez outside of the ring. With everyone attacking each other and hard to keep up, Kid settled it down with a moonsault, landing on both teams outside of the ring. Back from the break, Santana had Trey in a submission move and let him go. Laredo Kid then went after him, and Xavier and Wentz came in to protect Trey. Santana tagged in Ortiz, but not too long after, all six men were in and out of the ring.
Ortiz was in the ring with both Dez and Wentz. Xavier charged towards Ortiz, only to be thrown over his shoulder. Wentz went after Santana now, and he took him out. Kid and Dez crossed paths once again, this time for a double cutter. All six men were laying on the mat and were slowly getting up. Now the Rascalz, Kid, and LAX were all across from other taking swings. Laredo Kid went up to the top rope with all Rascalz stacked up on the mat. Laredo Kid went for a 450 splash and hit all three members of the Rascalz. Trey went for the Meteora double knees on LAX and got the win.
The not-Nygma’s Moment(s) of the Week
So, Michael Elgin still wants to send Don Callis to the hospital? Wonderful, not-Nygma 10,000%…
The Nygma’s Award of the Week
– The North and The Deaners
For a pretty long time, I have been expecting more tag team competition on Impact. If The Lucha Brothers tore the house down, they’re not Impact anymore. But these two teams, The North and The Deaners, have everything to become World Tag Team Champions. The style is definitely not the same. When LAX are risk takers, The North are technical machines when the Deaners are true brawlers. But that can make it…
– Killer Kross / Eddie Edwards
Who is the sinner? Who is the Saint? The storyline between Kross and Edwards became metaphysical this week, which should make Killer happy. The fact is, in a ring, the metaphysical won’t be the same, it will be made of blood…
– Brian Cage
No, Brian Cage is not cleared to compete at Slammiversary. He’s ready, more than ready and in the best possible shape to send Elgin in the strawberries (KOed him…). Cage has a revenge to take and, at Slammiversary, it should be devilish, brutal and make The Impact Zone a land of devastation… Good thing…
To be eNYGMAtic…
What to say about this episode… Fewer matches than the previous weeks, but the action was there again and the cinematic moments too. I can’t help but think, at a time where the business is about to witness a new war, the real good battles happen in the Impact Zone.
When some are bickering on social media about their title belts or money in their purses, Tessa Blanchard proved again this week she’s a real, strong wrestler. And the Knockouts are defying all odds, period. Eddie Edwards and Killer Kross pushed another limit that will bring us to an epic match at Slammiversary. If rules are meant to be broken, I fully disagree with what Michael Elgin did to Don Callis, who is Impact Wrestling EVP, Impact announcer, and my friend… But the tension between him and Cage is like dynamite, so about to explode…
Next week is Slammiversary week, my friends, and more than ever I will be there… No, we will ALL be there… On this truly “All You Need is Impact” note, until next week, never EVER forget to stay #eNYGMAtic…
Impact Slammiversary XVII Card (as of Sunday, June 30, 11 PM)
- Singles Match: Rob Van Dam vs. Moose
- First Blood Match: Eddie Edwards vs Killer Kross
- Equal Intergender Match: Sami Callihan vs. Tessa Blanchard
- Fatal Four-Way Monster’s Ball for the Impact Knockouts Championship: Taya Valkyrie (c) vs. Su Yung vs. Rosemary vs. Jessicka Havok
- X-Division Championship Match: Rich Swann (c) vs. Johnny Impact
- Impact World Tag Team Championship Match: LAX (c) vs. Rascalz
- Impact Word Championship Match: Brian Cage (c) vs. Michael Elgin
All pics, videos, and screenshots courtesy of Impact Wrestling and Basil Mahmud. Photomontage custom made by @frenchnygma exclusively for @steelchairmag @vulturehoundmag.