A last little 80s nod to last week’s fantastic IPWF show, with the title of this review, but don’t worry, I’m back to 2019. The title, as always, is as Nygma as it can be and I let you read this review to understand why I chose this one. We left Windsor with a good taste in our mouth, a smell of success and happiness, the feeling of a company being on the good road. With this new set of episodes from NYC, it’s now time to make the name Hard To Kill be even more meaningful than it is. The intensity of the World Championship match should not overshadow what the whole roster is able to give on a PPV basis.
On the menu of Impact this week, from New York City, NY, Brian Cage and Eddie Edwards will face off. We will welcome back to Impact Wrestling the one and only ODB. The Rascalz will square off with XXX- Division Champion Ace Austin and Reno Scum. We’ll also hear from RVD who’s finally back from holidays. So no more words, let’s get ready for some action, but your French Nygma way, of course…
The Nygma’s Chart of the Week
- Michael Elgin was making his way into the building and was asked about what he has planned after losing out in the Elimination Challenge 2 weeks ago. He said someone’s going to get it tonight.
- Brian Cage vs. Eddie Edwards ended in a No Contest due to Elgin’s interference. He entered the ring and double clotheslined both of them. Officials decided they are changing it to a triple threat.
- Michael Elgin defeated Brian Cage and Eddie Edwards.
- In The Rascalz’s Tree House, Trey was pissed about some of the comments made about his mom on commentary a couple of weeks ago, but Dez and Wentz just found them funny. Trey’s Mom entered and sat down, but Trey thought she needs to go home and leave them to it. She asked if she’s an embarrassment and a distraction, Dez avoided replying. Trey ended up feeling sorry for her and said she can be at ringside anyway.
- Moose talked about coming up short last week. It’s ok, even the greats lose at times and still become legends. He headed to the cages to play some basketball. The guys were afraid of being beaten up. Moose made his 3-point shot, kicked their asses and hung one of them in the hoop.
- Josh Mathews brought out ODB, talking about her food truck burning down and how the company was supporting her with these shows in NYC. ODB was out, drinking of course while grabbing her boobs because she’s true to the gimmick. She was glad to be home and said she’s had some rough times as of late. She’s been doing her own meat and greets, smoking meat and pulling pork. Hitting 40 sucked and she was devastated when she lost her truck. She had insurance but the company can kiss her ass. She appreciated that she’s loved so much and this has always been her home. Taya arrived with John E. Bravo. She mocked ODB about her sad story. But she was glad to see the bitch back, calling her the most intoxicated Champion in Knockouts history. ODB may have won the title 4 times, but Taya is the longest-reigning champion ever and this is her show. ODB drank as Taya was ranting, and didn’t want ODB’s grubby ass hands on her title, but will donate to her fund to by her a fire extinguisher for the next time her truck goes up inflame like her career. ODB attacked and sent Taya packing. Taya escaped and ODB stood tall in the ring.
- Josh Mathews talked up the match at Hard To Kill for the Impact Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship. Impact Wrestling EVP Scott D’Amore said this is about making history, and at Hard To Kill they get to continue this legacy. He believes Tessa’s an inspiration to many, male or female, and has earned the right. The Champion Sami Callihan insisted she addresses their match first. She said Sami is destructive, but he’s one of the best she’s ever faced. Nonetheless, on January 12th, she will make history by becoming the World Champion. Callihan told everyone to look at him as he says this. He doesn’t dislike Tessa for any other reason.. but for being a spoiled brat. She’s had everything handed to her, and he should be looked at as the only real hero in this company. Don Callis and Scott D’Amore may say this is about making history. But this ain’t history, this is Sami Callihan with another successful title defence on the way to becoming the greatest champion of all time. At Hard To Kill, he’s gonna crush her skull in… which made her irate. They almost came to blows, but they were quickly split up.
- Ace Austin & Reno Scum defeated The Rascalz. Ace distracted The Rascalz by “talking” to Trey’s Mum.
- Jordynne Grace wanted to talk to ODB. She was not interested as she was about to kick Taya Valkyrie’s ass all over the Impact Zone. Jordynne just wanted to tell her she’s a big fan and was looking forward to the match tonight. She’d like to donate to the truck but she wasn’t sure where to donate her money, so she just slotted it into ODB’s cleavage.
- Joey Ryan was on his phone and Johnny Swinger sat next to him. Swinger said these young kids Ken Shamrock and Petey Williams are killing the business for guys like them. He’s got a great idea, they should form a clique. He was going to give him a nifty hand signal later on and they’ll work it out. Joey Ryan agreed, but only so he will leave him alone.
- Rob Van Dam was back with Katie Forbes. They weren’t shy about sharing their love for each other. Forbes introduced the sexiest man in the world, the whole F’n show Rob Van Dam. He knew he should probably explain his recent actions, but it’s not like anyone could relate (as they’re not him). RVD still claimed all the wrestlers today are just copying his moves, and the fans should be ashamed of that. They shouldn’t be expecting him to raise the bar any further, and the crowd booed him. Here came Tommy Dreamer to play matchmaker. He suggested they go old school next week, and have he and Rhino settled it like they used to back in the day. RVD was not interested though, he wanted to move forward, not backwards. He got that every time the old ECW guys get together people love it, but he didn’t want that anymore; he didn’t want to be held back by all that. Thanks for the offer though. Rhino entered and was clearly not done. They squared off in the ring, but security rushed out to hold Rhino back while RVD and Katie Forbes slowly escaped.
- We saw Swann getting praise for his performance last week. He praised Tessa but wanted to focus on Mack and the tag team challenge next week. The North arrived and put over Swann, trying to cause issues between him and Mack. Swann said he and Mack are coming for them. Mack looked concerned.
- Fallah Bahh was asked about Desi Hit Squad’s attack. He Bahhs and then said he’s still right here. And as long as he’s here, he will fight back.
- Father James Mitchell introduced Suzie to Havok. Mitchell wanted them to be the best of friends.
- Petey Williams defeated Johnny Swinger. Swinger called for Joey Ryan’s help but predictably didn’t get any.
- ODB defeated Knockouts Champion Taya Valkyrie, after a distraction from John E. Bravo and Jordynne Grace.
The Nygma’s Nutcracker(s) of the Week
– Eddie Edwards vs Brian Cage, followed by Eddie Edwards vs Brian Cage vs Michael Elgin
They locked up and worked into counters. Cage grounded things, but Edwards powered to his feet and Cage hit a shoulder tackle. He hit another and then a clothesline. Edwards dumped him, followed with kicks. Cage countered the hurricanrana but Edwards hit it anyway on the floor. He followed with chops, back in and Cage hit an enzuigiri. The deadlift superplex connected. Cage followed with headbutts and then worked over Edwards in the corner.
He hit a backbreaker and maintained control with another. Uppercuts followed and the belly-to-back suplex. Edwards fought off a suplex, they traded and Edwards hit a suplex. Edwards laid in chops, a hurricanrana and they traded. Edwards hit the Blue Thunder Bomb. The Tiger Driver was countered and Edwards countered the F5, hit an enzuigiri but Cage replied with a lariat. Elgin arrived and attacked for the no contest.
They all brawled to begin, Cage and Elgin were dumped and Edwards hit the suicide dive. Cage followed with a tope, and back in, traded with Elgin. Edwards joined in and a neckbreaker followed. Elgin unloaded strikes, Edwards laid in chops and Cage hit a superkick. Edwards hit an overhead suplex and then an enzuigiri, Edwards hit an hurricanrana on Elgin into Cage, it broke down and Elgin dropkicked Edwards to the floor. Elgin hit some clotheslines on Cage and headed up top. The cannonball onto both followed.
Post break, Elgin was working over Cage. They worked up top and Edwards joined in and hit a Blue Thunder Bomb. Cage unloaded an enzuigiri and the turbo backpack. He locked on the half crab. Elgin broke it up and Cage took control. Elgin and Cage traded, Elgin hit a Dragon suplex, some clotheslines and a pop-up powerslam on Edwards. The DDT to Cage followed. He continued with a Falcon Arrow.
Cage countered the powerbomb with the Alabama slam, Edwards hit the Boston knee party and the Tiger Driver. Elgin cut him off, traded with Cage, Edwards joined in and Elgin hit a tornado DDT. Cage hit a lariat and took Elgin up top, followed him up but Elgin crotched him. Edwards hit a Boston knee party and cradled Elgin. They traded, Edwards hit a German suplex on Cage but Elgin popped up and hit a lariat. The buckle bomb and the Elgin bomb on Edwards connected for the win.
The not-Nygma’s Moment(s) of the Week
RVD has a girlfriend and his girlfriend has a girlfriend?! Do I add something?
The Lollipop and Baby-Oil Nygmalicious Moment of The Week
Johnny Swinger really seems to want to touch it… But Joey seems to not give a damn…
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) December 4, 2019
The Nygma’s Award of the Week
– Eddie Edwards
At Bound For Glory, Eddie won the Call Your Shot Gauntlet match and a Championship opportunity. Ever since I took the helm of the Impact section of this website, Eddie has always been one of Impact’s best and most reliable players. When will he call his shot? And mostly against who? Against Cage and Elgin, Eddie made a great match, which means he has the potential to go after the World Championship belt. For me, chasing the X-Division Championship would be a waste because he already won it before. Eddie Edwards can be the company’s leader. In many ways, his trust in it has proved he is the heart and soul of Impact Wrestling.
– Fallah Bahh
Probably one of the most underrated wrestlers of the company, Fallah is now given the opportunity to speak. No more “Bahh”. Like Eddie, Moose or Rosemary, he has been one of these steady wrestlers that have never tried to jump off the boat when everyone was saying it was sinking. Fallah is meant to do great things on Impact, not just be the “curvy man” I am used to saying of his splash is a horror movie moment…
– Petey Williams
I would never get rid of watching Petey Williams wrestling. Even if he now spends more time backstage producing matches and helping talents, his matches and his repertoire are the best ways to understand how talented he has always been and what he is able to provide to wrestlers backstage. I have already said it many times but some things deserved to be told, again and again…
She told me she was back to kick some asses. She told me she was not done with wrestling and she has never retired. She proved it to all of us tonight. At 41, ODB still gets it. She pinned the Knockouts Champion. She didn’t lose what has made her a fantastic wrestler and this gutsy, boyish character we all fell in love with years ago. (For the record, hitting 40 doesn’t suck. Well, I hope it doesn’t because it will happen to me very soon…)
To be eNYGMAtic…
If the recipe was there, action + promos + cinematic orchestra, this episode wasn’t as straight forward as the last few. It wasn’t a bad one, but it wasn’t a great one. The fact is, to build up the card of Hard To Kill, these moments are necessary. You need to put Swinger and Fallah on TV to sell their upcoming feuds. Unleash Rhino. See how Suzie and Havok will interact. Set a Tag Team Championship match. Maybe all of this meant less action but that’s a part of the deal. What a pleasure to see ODB back, on the mic and in the ring.
The Road to Hard to Kill is made of 5 more weeks, well 3, in fact. Christmas and New Year weeks episodes are going to be Best-Of/2019 Awards ones (on Saturdays in the USA, TBD in the UK). So Hard To Kill is right around the corner…
On this “Nygma Doesn’t Fear 40” note, until next week, never EVER forget to stay #eNYGMAtic…
Hard To Kill Card (as of now):
- Impact World Championship Match: Sami Callihan (c) vs Tessa Blanchard
- X-Division Championship Ladder Match: Ace Austin (c) vs Trey Miguel
- Impact Knockouts Championship Match: Taya Valkyrie (c) vs Jordynne Grace
All pics, videos, and screenshots courtesy of Impact Wrestling, Fight Network and AXS TV. Photomontage custom made by @frenchnygma exclusively for @steelchairmag @vulturehoundmag.