New York City, next stop until Dallas and Hard To Kill… The Impact train is on full steam mode because the PPV is so coming way faster than we think. Every road is not perfect, so all episodes can’t be perfect because, to build up a PPV, you need to ask questions to better find the answers. If 2018 was a great year for Impact Wrestling, 2019 has been even better. If like me, you voted to choose Year-End Awards, you know how difficult it was to choose between so many great talents, matches, moments… As D’Lo Brown said, Impact is a family… So if a member of it wins, then the whole family wins…
On the menu of Impact this week, from New York City, NY, RVD will face off Rhino in an Old School Rules match, with Tommy Dreamer as special referee. Sami Callihan chose Madman Fulton as Tessa Blanchard’s opponent when Tessa chose Ken Shamrock for Sami. Rich Swann and Willie Mack, oVe, Reno Scum and The Rascalz will square off to determine which team will face The North for the Impact World Tag Team Championship at Hard To Kill. So no more words, let’s get ready for some action, but your French Nygma way, of course…
The Nygma’s Chart of the Week
- Rob Van Dam w/ Katie Forbes defeated Rhino in an Old School Rules match. Katie Forbes prevented her boyfriend from losing the match after a Gore through a table, by giving Tommy Dreamer a clothesline after pulling him to the outside.
- Sami Callihan wanted everyone to get on their phones and get Impact trending. He said The Crist Brothers are going into the tag team challenge, as it’s about time they got the titles back. Callihan pickedMadman Fulton as Tessa Blanchard’s opponent tonight but he hadn’t forgotten about the dream match with Ken Shamrock. He said he respects Ken, but at 55 years old he’s not getting a win over him. oVe and are taking over everything! Thumbs up! Thumbs Down.
- Moose defeated Acey Romero.
- Father James Mitchell was with Suzie. As he talked, she disappeared while he was trying to tell her something important. He ran after her and begged her not to run away again as she needed to be safe. Suzie explained there’s a nice lady she wants to see, but Mitchell said the lady with the big smile (Rosemary) is not nice. She saw the rope (that Havok previously used to hang her) and touched it, sparking flashbacks from when she was Su Yung.
- Michael Elgin told Gabby Loren he’s done playing management’s games, as he’s gone through everything they’ve put him in front of him. The only man that deserves the World Championship is him, and at Hard To Kill, he will show Eddie Edwards isn’t so hard to kill.
- Fallah Bahh defeated Rohit Raju. The Desi Hit Squad attacked Fallah after the match, but TJP entered and saved his friend by taking care of them by himself.
- Joey Ryan was tricked into the men’s bathroom, into Tommy Dreamer’s Wrestler’s Court. A narrator described Joey Ryan as a famous “dick” wrestler, and he’s been summoned to answer to the crimes of breaking kayfabe. His representative was Johnny Swinger. Tommy Dreamer was the judge and asked what Ryan has to say. Ryan thought this is dumb and more like a kangaroo court, but Swinger said that’s offensive to Australians.
Dreamer decided to make the court more spacious by moving it outside. Swinger summoned D’Lo Brown. After swearing on a PWI 500 magazine issue, he testified he couldn’t believe that in 2020, Wrestler’s Court still exists in Impact Wrestling. Madison Rayne also gave her thoughts on how Joey puts people off watching Impact. Brutal Bob Evans and Kiera Hogan also testified. Gama Singh only had one thing to say, he attacked him. The boys break it up. After all the craziness, Joey Ryan had something to say.
He’s used to having his name dragged through the mud and is glad he’s not from the old era when people took themselves way too seriously. He just didn’t think wrestling should be that serious and he hoped his doubters can keep an open mind. Maybe he’s not the reason for all their problems… Swinger screamed “Bull****!”. Acey Romero randomly walked in. But his defence wasn’t enough, and Tommy Dreamer said Joey is found guilty of crimes against wrestling. KM stood up randomly and objected (didn’t he leave? ). Dreamer decided his punishment was to face Acey Romero next week. Ryan couldn’t believe he signed with such a company.
- Rich Swann & Willie Mack defeated oVe, Reno Scum, and The Rascalz to become the #1 contenders for the Impact World Tag Team Championship. Mack was injured during the match.
- Taya Valkyrie was not happy because everyone was getting at her. Why in the world did Jordynne Grace get involved with her match last week? She mocked ODB before reminding everyone who she is. The Champion was confident she will leave Hard To Kill with the title.
- Brian Cage was with Jimmy Jacobs. It’s been a rough couple of months since losing the World title and Jacobs asked him what’s next. He said it was easier to win it than defend it due to his injuries. Bound For Glory was the peak, but it crumbled after that. You can’t win them all and Tessa deserves to be #1 contender. Cage was thinking of going back to the beginning by making his way through the Impact roster.
Rob Van Dam and Katie Forbes stumbled in and started to make out on the sofa next to them. Jacobs asked them what’s going on, but they didn’t seem to notice they were there. RVD got up and noticed the cameraman was rolling. Just for the record, and so there’s no confusion, he reminded everyone Cage stole all his moves and lost to a girl, which he found amusing. Cage felt insulted as RVD and Forbes left the room.
- Tessa Blanchard defeated Madman Fulton via DQ when The Crist Brothers interfered and attached Tessa. Shamrock made the save and took out oVe.
- Sami Callihan defeated Ken Shamrock by referee stoppage, thanks to Madman Fulton who attacked Shamrock while the referee was knocked down. After the match, Fulton continued to destroy Ken Shamrock. After dropping Ken brutally to the outside, Callihan got in his face and told him no more. He calmed down as the referees checked Shamrock.
The Nygma’s Nutcracker(s) of the Week
– Tag Team Open: Rich Swann & Willie Mack vs. oVe (Jake & Dave Crist) vs. The Rascalz (Dez & Wentz) vs. Reno Scum (Luster The Legend & Adam Thornstowe)
This was one fall and no tags needed, so a giant tornado tag. They all brawled at the bell, Scum got dumped and the Rascalz hit dives. Jake hit a suicide DDT, Dave was dumped. Mack and Swann double-teamed Luster and then Adam. Mack worked over Jake and hit the standing moonsault. Mack followed with a dive, Swann dumped Dave and Mack was down holding his knee. Swann checked on him and refs and the doctor arrived.
Post break, Swann was fighting on his own. Scum cut him off until Swann hit the double Lethal Injection. oVe attacked and double-teamed Swann. The double stomp/tombstone followed but Wentz made the save. It broke down, Scum followed with double teams. They took Dave up top, into the tree of Woe and Luster bucklebombed Swann into Dave. The Rascalz ran wild now, double-teaming Luster and hit the push-sault. Jake fired away with a flurry of kicks, suplexed Dez to the buckles as he and Dave attacked Swann. Swann fired back, making the big comeback and countering the Doomsday into a victory roll.
The not-Nygma’s Moment(s) of the Week
RVD has the level of hormones of a teenager on heat. I didn’t know 49 was the new 14… Do I add something?
The Lollipop and Baby-Oil Nygmalicious Moment of The Week
The Penis Court… My abs are aching because of laughing…
The Nygma’s Award of the Week
– Rich Swann
He won this Championship opportunity on his own, for him and The Mack. Swann is one hell of a wrestler. Due to the attitude of The Mack last week, I have difficulties to think he’s really injured. A heel turn could be happening and costing Swann his desire to be Tag Team Champion? Possible.
– Tommy Dreamer
Tommy Dreamer can do everything. He can wrestle, he can be a referee, he can find a priest for a wedding and he can even be a Judge (very Fonzie to have Impact Management’s office in the toilets…). Let’s not forget everything he does behind the scenes as we all know Dreamer is a Creative, producer and agent for Impact Wrestling. Respect.
Since he came back to Impact Wrestling, we haven’t seen TJP a lot in the ring, mostly because he is working around the world. He has been successful in making Fallah Bahh a better and more talkative character. Even if the fans already loved him, this new attitude makes us love him even more.
To be eNYGMAtic…
It was definitely not the best episode of Impact. The recipe, action + promos + cinematic orchestra, was there but it was not as good as we could expect. The tag team match was great, the Penis Court / Wrestling’s Court was so funny and Hard To Kill is taking a very nice shape. Even a lower episode can make things move forward, I insist. Even more, I would say I persist and sign when I say Impact is a great show.
Most wrestling companies will tell you they are aware of social media and fans’ feedback, and they use them to perfect their work. If it was funny, the Joey Ryan segment was the reflection of what’s happening on social media. People have been blaming him for his Penis Lock to Ken Shamrock. They just don’t know who Joey Ryan is. And they don’t listen to Ken Shamrock saying it was fun. Social media are a good thing, they can also be a poison.
The Road to Hard to Kill is made of 4 more weeks, well 2, in fact. Christmas and New Year weeks episodes are going to be Best-Of/2019 Awards ones (on Saturdays, December 28 and January 4 in the USA, TBD in the UK). So Hard To Kill is right around the corner…
On this “Nygma Loves Joey Ryan Forever” note, until next week, never EVER forget to stay #eNYGMAtic…
Hard To Kill Card (as of today):
- Impact World Championship Match: Sami Callihan (c) vs Tessa Blanchard
- X-Division Championship Match: Ace Austin (c) vs Trey Miguel
- Impact Knockouts Championship Match: Taya Valkyrie (c) vs Jordynne Grace vs ODB
- Impact World Tag Team Championship Match: The North (Ethan Page & Josh Alexander) (c) vs Rich Swann & Willie Mack
- Winner Takes Call Your Shot Gauntlet Trophy Match: Eddie Edwards vs Michael Elgin
All pics, videos, and screenshots courtesy of Impact Wrestling, Fight Network and AXS TV. Photomontage custom made by @frenchnygma exclusively for @steelchairmag @vulturehoundmag.