Ethan Page is one hell of a genius when it comes to booking. The Body Guy Extravaganza was set to be one of the shows happening in Tampa, Florida right now but instead, due to something we’ve all heard too much about, now had to happen on the confines of YouTube. Here we got a video celebrating all the body people in wrestling in some weird, whacky and outlandish matches. Now let’s see what happened when Ethan Page let us into his mind.
Abdominal Assault: Jody Fleisch defeated Anthony Henry via Phoenix Splash
This quick match saw Henry kick Fleisch and flex but Fleisch came back and won with a splash in about 5 seconds. What a shock result. It was a bold choice to go for such a short opening bout.
Intergender Hoss Fight: Jordynne Grace defeated John Silver via German Suplex
Another quick-fire round saw the Impact Knockouts Champion get a quick win over John Silver. The pair locked up with Grace winning the exchange and dropping Silver with a German Suplex. The rapid match shocks just kept on coming.
— Javier DraVen?☠️ (@WrestlingCovers) April 3, 2020
Orange Cassidy answered the Masterlock Challenge
The infamous Masterlock challenge returned to screens as it’s inventor, Chris Masters, issued an open challenge to anyone out there who thought they had the stuff to break it. Orange Cassidy answered the call and managed to survive the challenge by getting his hands in his pockets. He successfully beat Masters at his own challenge and left him with a “good game.”
Body Guy Slugfest: Jake Something defeated Chris Dickinson, Josh Alexander & Erick Stevens via Tombstone Piledriver
Next up was my most anticipated match as four of the heaviest hitting guys in wrestling came to fight. Unfortunately for me, a dastardly censor came along and blocked out most of the match as it was deemed too violent for human eyes (I’m not surprised as it did feature the Dirty Daddy.) As he had tried to sell cookies at the start of the match and spat on Jake Something, Erick Stevens took the loss after a devastating Tombstone from Something that almost broke the ring. It was great seeing Something get the win.
Body Part Scramble: Brett Michael David defeated Kobe Durst, Hawx, Jody Threat, Clayton Gainz, Thomas Sharpe, Shane Mercer, Dan the Dad & Joey Ryan via 450 Splash
So, to even enter this match, you had to have your most impressive body part measure up to Ethan Page’s standards. Thankfully, everyone bar Shane Sabre qualified. It was hard to follow the action because once all the measurements had been taken, the action flew everywhere like a cartoon tornado until only BMD was left standing following a 450 Splash. He won the Body Part Scramble after qualifying with one hell of a six-pack.
— Kameron Dreesen (@KDAWG_4Life) April 3, 2020
The Boddities (Danhausen, Warhorse & Space Monkey) defeated The Rascalz (Zachary Wentz, Dezmond Xavier & Trey Miguel) via Teeth Assisted Tail Whip
This next match was an odd one as no one was sure where the action would stay and what level of absurdity we would see. The action flew everywhere with Warhorse taking plenty of time to air guitar and headbang. Whilst he did that Danhausen was issuing no swearing warnings and filled the Rascalz mouths with teeth so Space Monkey could hit a Tail Whip for the win. Chalk one up for the Boddities. Who said body guys can be typecast?
After the match, we saw Colt Cabana trying to flog merch from the show’s merch table. As far as we know, he wasn’t invited. Then he was reminded he was meant to be doing a live podcast and legged it.
Three Stages of Hell: Brian Cage, Scott Steiner & Ethan Page defeated The Nation of Carbohydration (D’Lo Brown, Rickey Shane Page & Swoggle) via Triple Steiner Recliner
Time for the main event. An absurd match between Brian Cage and Scott Steiner taking place across three stages of hell. The first stage was a live debate that was judged by guest judges RJ City, Freight Train, and Ron Funches. Steiner won in pretty dominant fashion as Cage would rather agree with him and tried to be too civil. Stage two was a pose off that Steiner forfeited because he wanted to go to stage 3 and kick Cage’s ass. This meant that it would go to a single’s match with a special guest referee, Ethan Page. Just as this looked to be getting underway, The Nation of Carbohydration, the bane of body guys came out to call Ethan fat and tempt him away with pizza. Since it was his show, Page made an impromptu six-man tag, aligning himself with Cage and Steiner. Big Poppa Pump instantly punt kicked Swoggle like a football, Cage dropkicked RSP’s face off and Page stopped D’Lo from stomping on Cage. He went for a Steiner Recliner but was hit in the face by pizza and smacked in the bollocks with a Nutcracker from Swoggle. Swoggle continued the pain by powering up with pizza and hitting a Swoggle Screwdriver on Page. Dlo Brown stormed Cage and hit a picture-perfect Moonsault. Cage kicked out and our body guy heroes all locked in Steiner Recliners on the carb crunching villains. Swoggle passed out and Ethan Page got a victory on his own show. Nothing like a gratifying self-booking eh?
Steiner cartoon for the win! #BodyGuyExtravaganza
— Javier DraVen?☠️ (@WrestlingCovers) April 3, 2020
So, there you have it, Ethan Page’s Body Guy Extravaganza reviewed for your reading pleasure. This was a riot. A svelte, fun and well-booked show of fun matches and big surprises. There was totally nothing odd about it at all. Like, say it being a 15-minute animation that was treated like a real wrestling show that ended up being one of the most fun things to come from the pandemic killing off wrestling shows. Hats off to everyone involved here as Page and his animator, Matt McKnight, did an excellent job bringing this to life. We all need a laugh in these (Danhausen censored) times. Almost everyone provided their own voices too. This was a seriously good show that might just steal Mania weekend.
All images courtesy of Ethan Page, Basil Mahmud, Javier Draven Twitter, Kameron Dreesen Twitter, superkickstich Twitter – video courtesy of Ethan Page YouTube