Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and everyone in between, I welcome you to one of the most fun shows on planet Earth. DDT, the famous hybrid wrestling/comedy/everything promotion, has started a TV show on their network, DDT Universe. As a fan of the promotion with too much free time on my hands, I figured I’d give it the review treatment as I see what DDT brings to the TV game and hope to learn more about the stars of the promotion whilst doing so. Join me as we delve into the madness of DDT TV Show Number One.
Yoshiko defeated Yuki Iino via Dragonrana
What better way to start the pilot of your weekly show in the middle of a pandemic than with a montage of handwashing. We got the likes of Chris Brookes, Konsuke Takeshita, Sanshiro Takagi, Danshoku Dino, and even Pokotan washing their hands and dancing along to the opening theme. Our first match saw Yuki Iino, who had been terrorised by all-out posters taking on the deadliest opponent in DDT Yoshiko the doll. Yes, the same doll many a DDT has taken on and lost to. Iino tried to intimidate Yoshiko since he had the size advantage but Yoshiko wasn’t fazed. He gave Yoshiko a full Haka but the doll still didn’t seem to care. Clearly frustrated, Iino then kicked Yoshiko in the gut and laid in some snug forearms. This was followed by a slam, some stomps, and a brutal lariat that crumpled Yoshiko like a rag-doll. He trapped Yoshiko in the ropes and charged but Yoshiko dodged and hit the Sasuke Special to the outside. Yoshiko dragged Iino into the ring and went top rope for a crossbody but was caught and slammed. Iino started stomping a mudhole forcing the ref to back him off. They argued then Iino prepared for the People’s Elbow but Yoshiko was able to dodge. They went top rope again and landed a crossbody on Iino, getting a two count. Iino reversed an around the world attempt into a series of vicious powerbombs dropping Yoshiko straight on their head then locked in a full nelson. This transitioned into a Bubba Bomb for two. Iino then went for a torture rack but was reversed into a sleeper hold that he only just escaped from. Iino swung Yoshiko around but was spiked by a Dragonrana from Yoshiko for the win. Yoshiko survived the onslaught from Iino and proved why they’re the toughest doll in town once again.
DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Title: Danshoku Dino defeated Akito via Roll-Up
Next up was Akito, the least hardcore man in DDT challenging the flamboyant Danshoku Dino for the Iron Man Heavy Metal Title. Dino was limping from what appeared to be an injured knee so this should have been an easy win for Akito. This was made even easier as Akito attacked Dino as he was dealing with some paper for keeping track of his defences. He then worked over Dino’s leg with a low dropkick and a Dragon Screw. He continued with a double knee breaker and tried for a Figure Four but Dino rolled him up. Akito kicked out and went running the ropes, only to be tripped up by a mystery man. Dino tried to go for a roll-up but only got two. Dino used the opportunity to beat down Akito and hip thrust him into the turnbuckle, stunning him. He went for the Danshoku Driver but Akito managed to reverse it into a knee breaker. Akito went for another Figure Four but was kicked in the balls by Dino. The ref didn’t see it as he was distracted by the mystery man and just saw Dino roll-up Akito for the win. We then got a recap of the match with a narrator and comic/manga style graphics. Akito acknowledged he’d fallen victim to a trap at the hands of dipshit Dino. He also acknowledged Dino had weights in his boots, hence the limp. Akito had well and truly been foiled by Dino’s evil tricks.
Chris Brookes & Maki Itoh defeated HARASHIMA & Pokotan via Pokotan Powered Diving Headbutt
That was followed by a tag team match between teams featuring some of the world’s cutest wrestlers. Maki Itoh and Chris Brookes would have to take on the team of HARASHIMA and Pokotan. Pokotan being Itoh’s rival in the cuteness category as a loveable mascot wrestler. Chris Brookes is also still locked in a war over whether he actually wants to dance to Itoh’s entrance. Once Pokotan and Itoh came face to face, she immediately received the finger from Pokotan much to commentaries dismay. However, we first got Brookes and HARASHIMA starting. They locked up and traded chain wrestling holds with HARASHIMA having an advantage. Pokotan was tagged in, struggled to get into the ring then challenged Maki Itoh to come into the ring. Itoh entered and wrenched on the middle fingers of Pokotan. They broke free with a gut kick and ran the ropes over Itoh taking her down. Pokotan continued to flip off Itoh and waggled their ass at her. Itoh started crying and attacked when Pokotan tried to apologise, biting their tail. Pokotan got the ref to break it up but was attacked by Brookes on the outside, nearly decapitating them on the ropes. Pokotan had their head crushed by both Brookes and Itoh but Pokotan was able to kick out. Brookes tagged out and Itoh started punching Pokotan in the eyes. She laid in some ground and pound and tagged back out, letting Brookes go for the wet willy. The ref stopped this so the show wouldn’t be shut down.
He then threw Pokotan into the corner and went for the chant punches but there was no crowd to respond so he didn’t bother. Itoh tagged in and showed Chris how it was done by chanting for herself and laying in the punches on Pokotan. She then missed a running headbutt and panic tagged Brookes in. He ended up on the receiving end of some jabs and was planted with a running headbutt. HARASHIMA was tagged in and he instantly went to work on Brookes, Superplexing him off the top rope. Brookes kicked out, had his chest caved in by some kicks, and then caught HARASHIMA’s leg and dropped an elbow. He missed his corner senton and ate another kick to the chest. Brookes was able to rebound though and dropped HARASHIMA with a rope-hung neck breaker. Itoh tagged in and tried for a Boston Crab but HARASHIMA kicked her off, dropping Itoh on her head. A furious Itoh slugged at HARASHIMA and blocked a forearm with her iron head but couldn’t stop herself being slammed. Pokotan tagged in and was launched into a running headbutt at Itoh. Brookes broke up the pin but was distracted fighting HARASHIMA. Itoh despatched HARASHIMA with a DDT but was caught by Pokotan until Brookes literally Shooped their head off. This just powered them up though as they started running lariats on both Brookes and Itoh. In the rush though, they accidentally knocked down HARASHIMA. Brookes KO’ed Pokotan by lobbing their own head at them hit the Praying Mantis Bomb and gave Itoh the head for a diving headbutt. The NEO Itoh Respect Army won the day because Pokotan got carried away. This match was a hell of a lot of fun to watch and I love the team of Brookes and Itoh.
MAO defeated Konsuke Takeshita & Naomi Yoshimura via Cannonball 450
Next up was a triple threat between two of DDT’s most well-known stars in MAO, the mad aerialist and Konsuke Takeshita, one of the overall best in the world and Naomi Yoshimura, someone I was less familiar with but still dangerous as one-half of the tag team champions. All three locked up and started circling around one another for technical holds and reversals. After a pose off, Takeshita and MAO decided to work together against Yoshimura. He broke free of both men, knocked Takeshita out of the ring, and ran a train on MAO in the corner. He chopped down MAO after he kicked out of an Exploder. Yoshimura continued his assault but Takeshita saved MAO from a Suplex and helped him execute a double Suplex onto the bigger man. However, after signalling for stereo dives, Takeshita turned on MAO and took him out with a lariat. He followed up with a neck twist and nerve hold but MAO broke free and tried to slug it out, only to get caught in a Cobra Twist. Yoshimura got involved but Takeshita knocked him down and hit a Boston Crab/Camel Clutch combo on both of his opponents. Takeshita tried to maintain control but MAO dropkicked him into Yoshimura. MAO powered up, struck both of his opponents, and dropped both of them with a crossbody. He launched Takeshita into Yoshimura and tried to slam the bigger man but couldn’t muster up the strength. As Yoshimura fell on top, he nearly won the match off of MAO’s mistake. Yoshimura reversed a second attempt and tried to slam MAO but Takeshita made the save and both men superkicked Yoshimura. MAO tried to win with a roll-up but Takeshita kicked out and Yoshimura sent him out of the ring. Yoshimura and Takeshita chopped it out until Takeshita hit an elbow and Yoshimura brought him down with a snap Judo throw. Yoshimura signalled the end but MAO took him out with a Rough Ryder and Takeshita was levelled with a lariat. MAO broke up a pin with a Moonsault. Everyone fought everyone until the ref was taken out and MAO hit Yoshimura with a low blow, dropped Takeshita with a kick, and hit a crucifix bomb on Yoshimura. He missed a 450 so Takeshita took him out with a Brainbuster. Takeshita looked to hit a deadlift German Suplex on MAO but the lights went out and MAO was replaced by Yoshiko. They took out a startled Takeshita with a chokeslam and MAO took advantage by hitting the Cannonball 450 on the downed Takeshita for the win. This was another great match. All three guys were great and the addition of Yoshiko was a hilarious twist. After the match, Akito called out Yoshiko and a match was made for next week. I have a feeling Akito is going to meet the same end as the rest of ALL OUT.
DDT Universal Title: Daisuke Sasaki defeated Antonio Honda via Crossface
That was followed by a match for the DDT Universal Title. It would be the current champ and DAMNATION leader Daisuke Sasaki taking on fan favourite and usual comedy goof Antonio Honda. Honda had been on a pilgrimage to India and had learned the art of hypnotism, which he used to get a Universal title match. An annoyed Sasaki came out threatening cameramen with his cane but Honda jumped him as he got in the ring. He threw jabs at Sasaki but was answered back by a rake of the eyes. Honda chopped Sasaki down and hit some ground and pound off a Lou Thesz press. He hit the Stone-Cold elbow and went for the hip swivel bionic elbow but Sasaki bailed. The pair brawled outside with Sasaki throwing Honda into the ringside furniture. Honda answered back by hitting him with a chair and dragging him backstage. He continued to throw Sasaki into chairs and sat him down for a sliding D. Sasaki woke up and smashed Honda in the face with a barrier. He tried to call for an elevator as Honda choked him out with a guard rope. Sasaki fired back and dropped a backdrop onto Honda as Pokotan tried to flog drinks in the background. Sasaki approached the bar, swatted Pokotan away, and helped himself to a couple of cans. Honda hit low and went for a beer himself. Instead of drinking it though, he poured it all over Sasaki, stating he doesn’t drink. Honda then put Sasaki in a bin and hit him in the ass with another bin.
Honda went back to the ring and tried to block the doors behind him. Sasaki fell into a ringside trolley and only just beat the 20-count. Honda then stupidly hurt his knee tripping over the ropes. He claims his knee is broken so Sasaki should give up but tells him a story first. He then tried to chop Sasaki but it was reversed into a Sleeper Hold. Antonio Honda powered out, pecked Sasaki in the face, and twisted the knee with a dragon screw. He then hit a shining peck and dropped the shoulder strap for a fist drop. He missed so Sasaki punished him with strikes and a DDT. Sasaki tried for the Pedigree but Honda reversed into a backdrop. He hit a series of double jabs and the pair traded superkicks. The pair downed each other with lariats then made it to their feet for a slugfest. Sasaki locked in the Crossface but Honda made it to the ropes. Sasaki continued the punishment for a Pedigree but missed the diving elbow drop. Honda hit more jabs and finally hit the Bionic Elbow. Honda then put his shoulder strap up… to bring it back down again and climbed to the top rope. He hit the fist drop but Sasaki bailed to the outside. On the way back in Sasaki used the ring ropes for a nutcracker and survived two roll-ups to win with the Crossface. Honda put up way more of a fight than I’d have expected and I love that this became a brawl. The match was fun throughout and Sasaki offered to tag with Honda again. He then rescinded that offer instantly and said he would only allow Japanese wrestler to challenge for his belt as Chris Brookes tried to get a rematch at his lost title. In response, Chris Brookes hit him with the Praying Mantis Bomb and left him with the title.
KO-D Openweight Title Challenger Sword Match: Kazusada Higuchi defeated Tetsuya Endo via Goten
Last but not least was the challenger sword match. The winner here would earn a shot at Masato Tanaka’s KO-D Openweight Title. Higuchi had a lot of pressure placed on him as a win here would help fulfil the ERUPTION takeover plan of Sakaguchi. However, Tetsuya Endo was not going to slouch in this match. As the sword’s current holder, he was determined to defend it. They both locked up and started picking on a limb. Endo has the technical advantage but Higuchi had raw power. Rather than lock up, Endo would take the fight to the mat and overwhelm Higuchi with technical holds. He nearly got slammed by Higuchi but reversed it into a DDT. Endo continued to work the neck and back, trapping Higuchi on the mat. He also ruthlessly snapped Higuchi in the ropes. Endo continued to torture Higuchi and even flexed whilst stepping on his head. He continued to keep Higuchi’s head locked up and then dumped him outside so he could crank his neck on the apron. Endo tried for a piledriver on the outside but Higuchi reversed it and slammed him into the ring apron. Higuchi gave Endo a taste of his own medicine by launching a series of back focused attacks and holds. Endo tried to through some slugs but was chopped down. Higuchi continued his assault on the back, locking in a deep Boston Crab on Endo.
After escaping, Endo was able to get back into the match by hitting Higuchi with the ropes and reversing a chokeslam into a Suplex. Endo went back to punishing Higuchi, executing a standing Shooting Star Press in the process and dropping him with a piledriver in-ring. That could have been it but Higuchi bailed so he dived onto him with the Endo variant of the Sasuke Special. He continued with a springboard forearm for two. Endo went back to the neck but Higuchi escaped and slammed him. The freedom was short-lived as Endo snapped back on a hold on the mat. Again, Higuchi powered through and slammed Endo with a backbreaker. The pair chopped it out and then Endo tried for a handspring but was caught into a running power slam. The pair duelled over moves until Endo was able to transition a sunset flip into another neck hold. Higuchi got to the ropes so Endo went top rope, only to find Higuchi chasing after him. They fought on the top rope until Higuchi finally clotheslined Endo off the top turnbuckle. They both got on to the ring apron and Higuchi choke slammed Endo back first onto the hardest part of the ring. Endo was thrown back into the ring and Higuchi hit a diving splash onto him. He powered up for a lariat but Endo headbutted him in the jaw. Endo tried to hit a lariat but it just knocked Higuchi into the ropes and a rebound lariat. He tried for a Doctor Bomb but Endo reversed it into a Dragonrana. Endo downed Higuchi with another lariat but couldn’t capitalise. After a fight for position, Higuchi was able to hoist Endo into a sit-out Doctor Bomb but only got two. He went for a backbreaker but Endo reversed it into a DDT and a Destroyer. This again only got two. Endo winded himself missing a Shooting Star Press so Higuchi went for the kill with the Goten. It was a hard-fought fight but Higuchi overcame the sadistic Endo and claimed the sword as his own.
So, there you have it, the first episode of DDT TV Show! reviewed for your reading pleasure. It was a fun two-hour sprint through a wide range of matches. I’d like to thank DDT English Update for helping me make sense of some of it as there were no subtitles, but even so, this is a seriously fun product. There were comedy matches, hybrid matches, and the main event full of dramatic appeal and proper great wrestling. It’s the perfect cure to lockdown blues, even if you have no idea what’s going on. Just beware, Yoshiko is on a killing spree it would seem so Akito may not exist after the next episode.
DDT TV SHOW!5月2日放送回はいかがでしたか❓
見逃した方も #DDTUNIVERSE でチェック?https://t.co/cqUDTcJTZc5月は毎週土曜日19時からDDTプロレス?
次回は5月9日にお会いしましょう?https://t.co/oAjn1LHJqv#手を洗おう #お家で過ごそう#ddtpro #StayHome #StayHomeWithDDT pic.twitter.com/WFEF60obN3— DDT ProWrestling #StayHomeWithDDT (@ddtpro) May 2, 2020
All images courtesy of ddtpro.com, Chris Brookes Twitter, DDT Twitter