With this review, I open the Deathmatch Super Weekender. Between now and Tuesday, there will be a series of Outlaw and Deathmatch shows reviewed by yours truly. The first is H2O Wrestling’s Subterranean Violence 7, the Lucky 777. A devilish delight of deathmatches bringing the H2O regulars into conflict once again. All the titles were on the line as Ron Mathis took on Low Life Louie, the Lone Rangers issued an open challenge and Jonny Nova made his main debut against Lucky 13. Let’s start this violence fest off right and get into it!

Inside the Park Home Run Derby: Chuck Payne defeated Jimmy Lyon, Marc Angel & Sean Henderson via Chokeslam through a barbed-wire door

Within a few seconds of starting, we saw a ring full of deathmatch toys. It would be a four-way, home run derby/doors of deathmatch setting three familiar faces in H2O and Sean Henderson against one another. The problem is Angel and Lyon were a team so they had an advantage over the other two. Then again, one of those men was Chuck Payne, so they definitely needed it. After some shit talk, Henderson and Angel were knocked out of the ring, and Payne and Lyon re-ignited an old rivalry with a slugfest. When strikes didn’t work, Lyon whacked Payne in the head with a stop sign. Payne rolled out so Lyon and Angel focused their attention on Henderson. They tried for a Double Suplex but Henderson hit Angel in the balls and used Lyon as a platform to hit a Code Red on Angel. Lyon made the save and dragged Henderson to the apron. Payne saved him and smashed Lyon in the head with a trash can lid and chokeslammed him through a plastic chair. Henderson turned on Payne and tried to hit a Tornado DDT but Payne caught him and threw him through a light-tube board. Angel cracked Payne in the head with the stop sign and got into it with Henderson. After stunning Angel, Henderson tried for an Acid Drop but Angel reversed it into a Tombstone through some tubes. Payne broke the pin and hit a Payne Killer but that was broken up by Lyon. He threw a trashcan lid to Payne and they had a slugfest with that and a LEGO™ bat. Lyon’s bat broke after one hit so Payne smashed him in the head again. Lyon retorted with the stop sign and broke a thumbtack bat and light-tube bat over Payne in the corner. He ordered the ref to help him set up a barbed wire board across some chairs and perched Payne on the top rope. He went to meet Payne up there but the big man woke up and chokeslammed Lyon through the door. A three count later and the match was won. Payne overcame the numbers and killed off Lyon once again. What an opener. It had all the violence and spots to get the crowd going.

Mouse defeated Devon Moore via Samurai Driver through a door

Next up was a trip to Mouse’s playhouse. For those who don’t know, Mouse is a smaller wrestler who is absolutely mental. Every match I’ve seen him in, he does something unthinkable. Now, he’s set his sights on H2O veteran, Devon Moore. They started by trading throat thrusts as Mouse tried to intimidate Moore. This changed to shoulder thrusts in the corner as Mouse avoided Moore’s attacks. He took Moore over with a Monkey Flip but Moore punched him out of his dive attempt. Moore threw Mouse to the outside and set up some hardware. He then tried for a dive but Mouse scurried back into the ring and took Moore down with a Lou Thesz style takedown with scratches instead of punches. Mouse tried for a Cazadora but Moore caught him and drove him through a door with a DVD. They continued to fight back and forth as Mouse refused to stay down and Moore continued to reverse him. Mouse hit a faceplant and set up a door. Moore woke up, hit a nutcracker, and took Mouse to the top. Moore tried for a top rope Dragon Suplex but Mouse fought back and bit him in the head. He continued to elbow Moore and put him through the door with a Samurai Driver to win the match. This was incredibly short and a pretty messy but it was still enjoyable enough. The finish was crisp and it’s nice to see Mouse continue to try and evolve.

Thumbtack Pits and Light-tubes: Bam Sullivan defeated Kit Osbourne via Light tube Spear

That was followed by Kit Osbourne taking on H2O’s oddest hero, Bam Sullivan in a match guaranteed to cause pain. As always, the crowd hated Kit and wanted Sullivan to kill him. Kit further drove the crowd against him by spitting alcohol into the eyes of Sullivan. The pair then chopped the absolute hell out of each other and started throwing slugs. Sullivan started to get the upper hand, chopping Osbourne so hard that he collapsed to his knees until he finally collapsed. Sullivan used the time to try and find something under the ring and made his return only to have Osbourne kick a rope into his balls. Sullivan fell on a tube and Osbourne dug the broken glass into Sullivan’s bicep. He threw Sullivan to the outside and broke a tube over his back. He battered Sullivan around ringside and drove him headfirst into a ring post. Osbourne got the tack pit into the ring and gave Sullivan a stomp to the gut. He grabbed a bottle from the crowd (ironically a Corona) and ground the cap into Sullivan’s head. After getting the beer open, he took a hearty swig and spat the rest at Sullivan. The beer woke up Sullivan, who drove Osbourne into a ring post and continued to trade hands. Osbourne regained the upper hand and threw Sullivan into another ring post and tried to bury Sullivan’s head in the tack pit. Sullivan avoided this and dropped Osbourne in the pit with an X-Plex. Sullivan grabbed some tubes for execution but Osbourne threw tacks into his eyes and curb-stomped him into the tubes. Osbourne set up a door and speared Sullivan through it but willed Sullivan back to life and received a spear for his trouble. They shakily got to their feet and traded more savage chops before Sullivan grabbed a tube bundle and smashed it over Osbourne’s head. Kit tried to use a light-tube as a walking stick but Sullivan charged and speared it through him. That won Sullivan the match and made the fans happy. This one was fucking awesome. It felt like a proper fight with more to it that pure spots. Osbourne is one of the best villains in wrestling. Honestly, this was just fun from start to finish.

Cinderblocks and Gusset Plates: Stockade defeated Raven Havok via Cinderblock Burning Hammer

This was going to get messy. Stockade and Havok are two of the best in H2O right now and they had free reign over cinderblocks and gusset plates, two tools that would definitely break someone. Stockade was riding the high of winning Hardcore Kingdom 4 and now wanted to pick up another win over Havok. Both men traded technical holds and reversals to start before Stockade used his power advantage to hit Havok with an Exploder. Stockade looked to throw Havok into the fans but Havok wiggled free and broke a tube over Stockade’s head. He no-sold this and asked for another. Havok obliged then broke free of Stockade with a Tiger kick. He then put Stockade’s hand through a tube and broke another over his arm with an axe kick. Havok hit a series of corner forearms but went to the well too many times and was caught with a lariat from Stockade. He grabbed a bundle of tubes and smashed them over the back and head of Havok then dumped him with a Uranage. He then placed a cinderblock on the gut of Havok and hammered it down with a senton, damaging his own back in the process. He dropped the block on him again and used it to leverage a pin. Havok broke free and reversed a powerbomb into a facebuster. Both men were down from the impact and got up to their knees for a bar fight with fists, then gusset plates then light tubes. Stockade hit a spear, chopped Havok in the corner, and put him on the top rope over the cinderblocks. Havok fought out and hit a rope hung double stomp that knocked Stockade onto the blocks. Havok avoided more punishment and watched Stockade put himself through a gusset door with a cannonball. Havok set up some cinderblocks but this would be his demise as Stockade grabbed him and hit a Burning Hammer onto the blocks for the win. Havok took Stockade to the limit and we got a bloody good match out of it.

H2O Hybrid Championship: Lucky 13 defeated Jonny Nova via Nutcracker

Our first title fight of the night would see Jonny Nova make his main roster debut against one of the veterans occupying H2O and former H2O champion now Hybrid Champion, Lucky 13. 13 had no respect for the title or his opponent and made that instantly clear. After two lock-ups, 13 went to the eyes and kept Nova locked up. Nova then stunned 13 with a combo of sentons that made him bail. Nova looked to follow with a dive but 13 knocked him out of it with a kick to the arm. 13 continued to work this arm and kick Nova in the face. He locked Nova in a chin lock and dragged him back down by the hair as he tried to escape. He threw Nova at the ropes but Nova caught himself and hit 13 with a springboard crossbody. He tried a sunset flip but 13 rolled through and hit a PK to the chest. Nova started to mount a comeback but 13 snuffed it out with a thumb to the eyes. He continued with more strikes and kicks then hit a power slam into the corner. 13 tried to show off with a springboard move but Nova caught him off the ropes with a Russian Leg Sweep. They both got up and slugged it out with Nova making 13 bail to the apron. 13 countered Nova through the ropes but Nova hopped over and booted 13 in the face with a kick. He tried for a destroyer but 13 countered into an air raid crash on the apron. Nova nearly shocked everyone as he caught 13 off a springboard into a knee strike and facebuster combo but he only got two. 13 didn’t stay down though and caught Nova with a split-legged headscissor into the turnbuckle, a 619 and tornado DDT combo. They traded headbutts then 13 punt kicked Nova in the face. He continued by catching Nova with a crucifix bomb and a piledriver. When Nova didn’t stay down 13 went for a chair, the ref stopped him and Nova nearly caused an upset hitting the Up and Over. 13 kicked out and distracted the ref, kicked Nova in the balls, and won the match with a roll-up. 13 showed his true colours as he couldn’t beat Nova clean. Once again, we got a fun match that didn’t need the excess violence to be fun. Also, I will never get over the fact Lucky 13 uses Babymetal’s Headbanger as an entrance theme.

H2O Tag Team Championships: The Lone Rangers (Jeff Cannonball & Mitch) defeated Chris Bradley & Kristian Ross via Rocket Launcher

Few teams have been as consistently dominant as the Lone Rangers. They found themselves without opponents so issued an open challenge to anyone to try and take their tag titles. it was fought under street fight rules too just for good measure. After some impassioned speeches, we found out they were fighting Chris Bradley and Kristian Ross. Two Undiscovered upstarts putting rivalries aside to get some gold. They talked some shit to the Lone Rangers then went after them with punches. The Lone Rangers came back and sandwiched Ross and Bradly with their larger frames. They brawled into the crowd and then locked their opponents outside. They crawled under the back door but were instantly attacked again by the Lone Rangers as Cannonball held Ross up to be chopped by deathmatch legend Toby Klein. Cannonball then took a water bottle on a stick to the head and back of Ross as Mitch attacked Bradley with barbed wire oar. Ross got the upper hand on Cannonball and attacked him with a barbed wire axe handle. The Rangers regained control and continued to bully the Undiscovered upstarts. They singled out Bradley and hit him with some unique double-team and peppered him with strikes. Ross saved his partner but was stunned by a kiss from Cannonball into a slam. The upstarts hit the Rangers with spears and started attacking the Rangers with tubes. Bradly went after Mitch with barbed wire. The Undiscovered duo tried for a Double Suplex but the Rangers reversed it into their Suplex. Bradley hit Mitch with a tube bundle and went after Cannonball with the axe handle. They set the Rangers up in corner chairs, but missed with their cannonballs and smashed off the chairs themselves. Everyone hit everyone as Ross hit the Clock out and Cannonball dumped Ross onto some plastic forks with an STO. Bradley caught Cannonball with the Blister DDT but only got two. They set up a door in the corner and powerbombed Mitch through it for two. Ross covered the ring in tacks and set up for a double chokeslam but Mitch broke free and caused Bradley to spear his own partner. Mitch hit a choke bomb on Bradley onto the tacks and Cannonball finished him with a light-tube bundle to the gut and a Rocket launcher through a door. The Rangers retain but at a heavy cost from the Undiscovered Unit. What another fun match of madness and a massive showing for the H2O academy students.

H2O World Championship: Low Life Louie defeated Ron Mathis (w/Bruce Gray) via The Big Leg

The main event was quickly upon us as H2O’s favourite Low Life Louie took on the H2O World champ, Ron Mathis, and his stooge Bruce Gray. If anyone could dethrone Mathis it’s Louie and the fans were all for it. Mathis stalled for time since the audience hated him and screamed forever about 20 times before locking up. Mathis took Louie over with an arm drag and instantly gloated about it. He did the same with a roll-up and a takedown and continued to bad mouth Louie. Mathis got in the ring, got trapped in a headlock and was jabbed back out of the ring by Louie. Louie gave chase and hit Mathis and his stooge in the head and throat with a baking tray. Mathis tried to fire back but Louie no-sold it and threw Mathis into his stooge. Mathis quickly took advantage with an aided Tornado DDT on the floor. Gray hit Louie in the head with a VCR and Mathis hit him in the back with a bat made of broken cans. He followed with a neck breaker and a Rude Awakening. Mathis attacked the ref then ran into a ring post. Louie kicked low and gave Mathis a barbed wire bat anal probe. He continued with jabs and a clothesline then found his combo ruined by Gray dragging him under the ropes Louie swatted away Gray and winded Mathis with a barrage of gut punches. Louie set up a gusset/knife board and launched Mathis at it but Gray caught his buddy before he could hit. Mathis used the distraction to hit low and drive Louie into the board. Louie hulked up and bucked both men off. Mathis and Gray tried to tee off on Louie but he tanked it all and downed both with throat thrusts. Mathis dodged a big boot and downed Louie with a clothesline but again, got two. Again, Louie powered up and drove Gray into Mathis and kicked him into a DDT. He took out both men with TKO’s and finished Mathis with the Big Leg Drop. Low Life Louie had dethroned Mathis and finally become a world champion. Emotion overcame him as he received his title and the crowd’s applause for giving Mathis the boot. Again, not the best match of the night but the story and emotion on display carried it through. Louie is a fitting and welcome champ for the company.

So, there you have it, H2O Subterranean Violence Volume 7, the Lucky 777 reviewed for your reading pleasure. This won’t be for everyone. This company won’t be for everyone but I always find something special when I watch it. It’s a small company with an eye to the future and stars for the deathmatch world to take on. The violence is there, the skill is there and H2O should be a big name alongside the likes of GCW, CZW and ICW No Holds Barred. I enjoyed this show from start to finish and despite the long review, the show itself is a breeze to watch. Do yourself a favour if you’re a deathmatch fan with an IWTV account and give it a shot. I doubt you’ll regret it.

All images courtesy of H2O Twitter, Orlando Death Squad, Earl Gardner Photography 

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