WARNING STRONG VIOLENCE AND LANGUAGE AHEAD

I love Twitter sometimes. For all the bad takes and awful news stories, you do find some genuine gold when it comes to wrestling. This time it was in the form of a deathmatch show that took place in a mansion. I present to you, Guanatos Hardcore Crew (GHC), a Mexican deathmatch company available to view on IWTV. I saw gifs of carnage and knew I had to watch. What I was greeted with was a mental hour-long show with four deliciously delirious deathmatches. Let’s investigate what happens when deathmatch meets decadence in Murder Mansion!

Principe Quetzal defeated Cometa Galactico via Torture Rack Piledriver

#MurderMansion ALL DAY pic.twitter.com/g2WEjkKqK8

— Tripping Balls (@IsThisWrestling) August 19, 2020

You know you’re in for a great time when the first thing you see is an announcer in what looks like an old swimming pool or racquetball court. The two wrestlers came out with guitars and we got our first contest. They shook hands and then went into avoiding knees and kicks. They collided with lariats then Quetzal locked in a headlock and rammed Cometa into a wall. He KO’ed Cometa with a forearm and slammed him into a dining table. After choking him out on the table he dragged Cometa away and bounced him off the wall again. He hit a stinging overhand chop and rained down headbutts then slammed Cometa head-first off a chair. The ref broke up Quetzal’s foot to the throat choke so Quetzal dragged Cometa back to the court. We got our first light tube as Quetzal missed his swing and Cometa broke it into his head with a headbutt. He smashed the rest of the tube on Quetzal and slammed into the floor for a back kick. He then broke a wooden crate over Quetzal and delivered some punches to the temple. He locked in a neck crank and bit at Quetzal’s ear. He then launched Quetzal into the wall and hit him with a vicious chop. This woke Quetzal up and the pair went back and forth on seriously stiff chops. Quetzal took the advantage and hit a sickening forearm to the face then unleashed a kick between Cometa’s shoulder blades. He picked up a crate and broke it over Cometa’s head then raked his eyes and mask. Quetzal grabbed a chair and set it down then delivered a series of head kicks. He grabbed a second chair and a bar fight broke out. When Cometa got the advantage, Quetzal grabbed a guitar and went full Jeff Jarrett. Cometa returned fire with his guitar then slipped on the court and ate a running kick for two. Quetzal set up another crate but got kicked in the gut and put through it with a destroyer. They tried to do a Spanish Fly but exhaustion took over and Cometa fell. Quetzal punished him with a tube shot and the pair slugged it out again. Quetzal caught Cometa into a tornado kick and hoisted him onto his shoulders. He then put Cometa down with a Torture-Rack Piledriver into a crate and the concrete floor. The show was 12 minutes in and I’d already gasped twice at what I was seeing. This was messy and probably unsafe as hell but man, it was entertaining. Plus, it’s always nice to see sportsmanship after a match like that.

Dark Pain defeated Sombra Dorado via Board Destroyer

Don't become a Mexican death match referee #MurderMansion pic.twitter.com/Inayg048aL

— Tripping Balls (@IsThisWrestling) August 18, 2020

We returned to the court for our second match, Dark Pain vs Sombra Dorado. Dark Pain came out with a staple-gun so you knew this was going to get hardcore. They locked up and quickly traded arm-wringers. Pain wrenched Dorado’s arm and tried to bar it. Dorado reversed an arm-drag and spun Pain into a forearm. They wandered into the crowd and Dorado launched Pain into a garage door. Dorado cracked Pain in the head with a can and cut into his face with scissors. He then tried to suffocate Pain with his own mask and stabbed him in the head with one of the broken guitars. He then hit him with a broken crate and smashed him into the refreshments table. Pain was sent reeling with a lariat and landed in a fan’s lap. The fan held him in place as Dorado slugged on him with more lariats. The chops came out and Pain was finally able to stop Dorado with a knee lift. Dorado was bounced off some fan chairs and had his mask ripped open. Pain gave Dorado a crate to the head then unwrapped a pack of skewers and stabbed them into Dorado’s forehead. As Dorado tried to pull them out, Pain wandered off-camera and smacked him in the back with a wooden board. He took out his staple-gun and started stapling money to Dorado’s arms. After two notes to the arms, Dorado had enough and snatched the staple-gun and stuck a note to Pain’s arm. The ref tried to intervene so Dorado stapled a note to his head and arm too. Dark Pain took advantage of the scuffle and slammed Dorado onto the ref. Pain grabbed a couple of chairs and headed for the pool. He set up some boards on the chairs as Dorado gave chase. Pain hit him with a board and puts some tubes on the boards. Dorado took a water bottle to the head then reversed Pain’s powerbomb attempt with a gut kick and stabbed skewers into Pain’s forehead. Dorado got Pain up for a Razor’s Edge but Pain wriggled free and put Dorado through the board with a destroyer. Dorado couldn’t beat the 10-count so the ref called off the match. This was more of a murder than a match but I loved the willingness to get extreme and once again, the shock and spectacle made it fun to watch.

Brian Villa defeated Delirio & Demencia via Head-Scissor Choke on Demencia

Needs to be more 3 way death matches! #MurderMansion pic.twitter.com/FknCALlvqb

— Tripping Balls (@IsThisWrestling) August 18, 2020

Our next match was a triple-threat between Delirio, Demencia, and Brian Villa. They would have to contend with a wetter and bloodier court as the heavens opened and it started raining. Everyone made their entrance and started things with a three-way bar fight. This descended into brutal chops and slugs until Demencia was knocked out of his chair and Villa was slammed into a chair. Delirio stripped off and tried to slam Demencia onto a pile of barbed-wire. Demencia broke free and tripped Delirio onto the wire. Villa avoided a skewering and answered back with a headbutt then stabbed the skewers into Demencia. Villa then removed them by driving him to the floor with a clothesline. Delirio freed himself from the wire and drove Villa into the concrete floor with a DDT. Delirio tried for a pin but Demencia picked up a skewer board and dropkicked it into his chest. Demencia went after Villa with a forearm but Villa ducked and sent Demencia flying with a head-scissor takeover. Delirio, not to be outdone, grabbed a cut-can board and double-stomped Villa onto it. He then picked up Demencia and slammed him over it with an AA. Villa answered back with a superkick and covered Delirio in barbed-wire then slammed Demencia onto him with a front Suplex slam. To make things worse, he crushed both with a senton and tried for the pin. Demencia broke it up and entered a slugfest with Villa. He knocked down both Delirio and Villa and hit both with shining wizards. Delirio then gave everyone nostalgia vibes by attacking both opponents and the ref with fun snaps. Delirio then attack Villa with clay maracas and attempted a pin. Villa came back with the staple gun and stapled money into both men. Everyone traded staple-gun shots and chops as a board was set up and all the fuckery imaginable was put atop it. Delirio then made things interesting by giving everyone barbed-wire implements and initiated another bar fight with them. Demencia came out on top and tried to slam Villa off a chair but ended up crotched and probably infertile. Villa picked up both Demencia and Delirio on his shoulders but a slip caused Demencia to fall off, through the fuckery pile and Villa finished him off by making him tap out to a choke. This was wild. It was a mix of pretty good wrestling and messy deathmatch spots. Villa made a statement by nearly killing Demencia. What a wild ride.

Xtreme Fly defeated Shyru Jr. & Black Golden via Package Piledriver onto Shyru Jr.

SHYRU, JR. HITS A MOONSAULT OFF THE #MurderMansion!!! pic.twitter.com/FZl1mtDRYy

— Tripping Balls (@IsThisWrestling) August 18, 2020

Last but not least, the main event. A second three-way dance between Shyru Jr., Xtreme Fly, and Black Golden. Much like the last match, it would have to endure a waterlogged court, debris, and broken fuckery. The champions got centre stage and they certainly made the most of it. Things started fast as everyone went swinging. Fly nailed Shyru with a kick then took a tack bat to the head. He then jumped off a fan and nailed Golden with sliced bread. Fly recovered and initiated a chop-fest with Shyru and nailed him in the face with a ripcord kick. Shyru fired back with some forearms but was crotched onto a tack covered inflatable horse. Golden became a keyboard warrior and smashed one covered in tacks over the back of Fly. Shyru woke up and attacked Golden with a whacky hammer but couldn’t follow up as Fly grabbed a can, smashed it into his head then mangled it up and cut Shyru’s forehead with it. He finally let go and Shyru’s forehead started pissing blood. Fly kept on the pressure by throwing Golden into him and pummelled both guys with another wooden crate. He continued to brutalise both opponents by kicking skewers into Golden’s back and ramming both men with a hard-hat covered in tacks. Shyru and Golden ganged-up on Fly and trapped his head in a crate. Shyru hit a fan with a tack bat then swung at Golden but Golden snatched the bat and brought it down on Shyru, hard. Golden stabbed some tacks into Fly’s head then threw him off the patio towards the pool. They brawled around the garden towards a games room when both were stopped by Shyru diving onto them with a moonsault. The wrestlers wandered back up to the court and Fly covered the floor in yet more tacks. Golden was curb-stomped into the tack pile then Shyru dropped Fly onto them with a German Suplex. Shyru was the last to take a trip onto the tacks as Golden snapped him on them with a Vertical Suplex. Everyone was leaking blood now and exhaustion was setting in. Golden and Fly manoeuvred to the back of the court and started to scale a chain-link fence. Shyru joined them and Fly took a light-tube to the ass crashing down with a leg sweep. Fly shook it off and took the rest of the tube to Shyru then stabbed a frisbee covered into tacks into his back. Golden applied some tack covered kneepads and gave Shyru a codebreaker. Fly then killed off both men by dropping Golden onto Shyru with a Package Piledriver. This was pure fucking insanity. There were so much plunder and blood, plus the overuse of tacks in this match that even I ended up in mild shock. What a main event and what an end to an hour of pure batshit insanity.

So, there you have it, GHW’s Murder Mansion: There Goes the Neighbourhood reviewed for your reading pleasure. What can I really say here? This was completely mental. This was ten guys fucking each other up by fighting deathmatches in the racquetball court of a mansion in front of a bunch of fans as Mid-West Territory tried to follow along on commentary. His bewilderment echoes my thoughts too as these guys nearly killed each other on several occasions as kids and families watched on. This was a different slice of wrestling that will piss a lot of people off but definitely entertain a lot more. I genuinely don’t believe I saw this but I sure as shit am glad, I did. If you have IWTV, seek this out and watch it. It’s an hour of total carnage that has to be seen to be believed. I’d also like to give a little thanks to IsThisWrestling for making gifs and for cluing me in on this show in the first place.

Something truly insane may or may not be happening right now. #AquiTodoEsViolencia pic.twitter.com/UODJe301TW

— Guanatos Hardcore Crew (@GuanatosCrew) August 9, 2020

All images courtesy of IWTV Twitter, GHC Twitter, IsThisWrestling, ProphetOfAsh,