WARNING STRONG VIOLENCE AND LANGUAGE AHEAD
I love deathmatch tournaments. There’s something so enjoyable about seeing a gauntlet of deathmatch stars try to outlast each other in a tournament of bloodshed. We’re now on our third ICW company, this time emanating for Milwaukee. On our card, we have SHLAK, AKIRA, Jeff King, Orin Veidt, John Wayne Murdoch, Ricky Noren, Dysfunction, and Neil Diamond Cutter all going to war to be crowned the king of the Insane 8 tournament. Alongside that was Matthew Justice challenging for the ICW Title. There’s a lot to dissect here so let’s get into it.
Fatal Four Title Match: Joey Avalon defeated Dominic Garrini, Matthew Justice & GQ Gianos via Top Rope Package Piledriver
The first match of the show before all the bloodshed was a fatal four-way for the ICW Title. Current champion GQ Gianos would have to survive against Joey Avalon, Dominic Garrini, and Matthew Justice if he wanted to leave with his title intact. Avalon and Gianos went after each other instantly so Garrini and Justice watched the carnage then charged them both. Justice stomped down Gianos then fought with Garrini. They had a chop-off and worked up to slugs. Justice took them both out with a cactus clothesline then Gianos and Avalon dived onto them from the top. Avalon threw in Gianos and nearly scored the victory with a springboard cutter. He rushed Gianos in the corner and ran into a leaping cutter. Garrini and Justice saved the match and double-teamed Gianos with kicks and chops in the corner. Garrini locked in a rear-naked choke on Gianos off a trust fall and Justice hit both with a diving splash. Avalon did the same with a diving elbow drop to Justice’s pinfall. A four-way slugfest broke out then Garrini destroyed everyone with Suplexes, launching Justice into the turnbuckle with an Exploder. Gianos came back with a Tornado DDT and ate a Yakuza kick from Avalon after a lengthy counter exchange. Justice broke up the pin by dropping Garrini onto the pin with a DVD. He hit the body pile with a stage dive splash and grabbed some chairs. He got Gianos up for a second-rope DVD onto the chairs but Gianos reversed and kicked him through them. Avalon took advantage and stole the match with a top rope Package Piledriver. We had a new champion to start the show and a lot of fun spots from the opener. Craziest Spot: Finishing Package Piledriver
Barbed-wire Madness & Tube Bundles: Jeff King defeated AKIRA via Rope Hang Roll-Up
— Rob (@HeyyImRob) August 30, 2020
The first match of the tournament would see the Death Samurai AKIRA take on the Old Timer Jeff King in a match that would be full of tube bundles and barbed-wire. Both guys here are justifiably insane so it was going to be fun. We started with some old-timey jabs and worked up into a hockey fight. AKIRA took the lead and dropped King with a tilt-a-whirl neckbreaker and launched King with a Uranage. He broke a bundle into King’s back with a forearm and wowed the crowd with a Tiger-Feint Kick into another bundle and King’s face. They brawled around ringside and AKIRA went up top for the death drop tub senton. He missed and King made him pay with a DVD onto a chair. They fought around a tube/barbed-wire bumped sword and both ate it as King took the tubes and AKIRA got a face full of barbed-wire. King continued to tear up AKIRA’s face with tubes and a gusset plate. King hammered down AKIRA with some stiff hammer blows and threw a barbed-wire chair onto AKIRA. This woke AKIRA up who rallied back with a series of kicks that saw him take to the air off a chair. He set up a door and perched King on the top. They fought up there until King crotched AKIRA and put AKIRA through the door with a moonsault. King set up a bundle on top of a chair but AKIRA caught him and drove him through with a Northern Lights Bomb. AKIRA got King in the corner and hit a Shibata style Hesitation Dropkick through a bundle. He then put King through another with a bridging Northern Lights for a two. AKIRA set up a door with his name on it and tried to choke out King but King fought through and put AKIRA through the door with a rolling senton. King crippled AKIRA with a piledriver and tried to break the last of the bundles over him. AKIRA caught one and carved himself up with the tube in a stand of defiance. He peppered King with strikes and put King’s face through some corner tubes with running double knees. A plunder pile was made and AKIRA signalled for the end but King rolled him up and grabbed the ropes to steal the win. What a clever finish from the Old Timer to eliminate the fan favourite AKIRA. Both guys killed this and set the bar very high for the rest of the tournament. Going through: Jeff King Craziest Spot: Northern Lights Tube Chair Bomb
Fans Bring the Weapons: SHLAK defeated Ricky Noren via Plastic Bag Suffocation
The next match would see the Public Animal SHLAK taking on Ricky Noren in a match where the fans controlled the carnage. There was also a shit ton of bottle caps and a crowd hungry for blood. Noren would have his work cut out trying to deal with no God only SHLAK. Both men started by throwing hands and headbutts. They knocked each other down with a double lariat and Noren went to the throat and eyes then broke the first tube on SHLAK’s back. He gave SHLAK a tour of the plunder as he hit him in the head with a tack tray and in the back with a tack bat. He then broke a bundle over SHLAK’s head and after some more hammer blows avalanched SHLAK and another bundle in the corner. He tried to win with an elbow drop but SHLAK laughed it off. SHLAK reversed a whip and launched Noren into the corner. He set up a bundle and broke it on Noren with a Sliding D. He hit a guillotine elbow drop on Noren and headbutted tubes into his forehead. He ground in the broken glass and ate a bit of the tube. SHLAK bit into Noren and took multiple shots from a tack bat. Back in-ring he avalanched Noren in the corner, broke a tube on him, and dropped him with a Back Suplex. Noren hit back with a low blow and launched SHLAK with an exploder. He tried to mock SHLAK and got speared through a door. They slugged it out again and Noren put down SHLAK with an STO. Noren went top rope but SHLAK followed and brought him crashing through a tube sword with a superplex. Noren tanked a door shot and planted SHLAK with a spinning Spinebuster. SHLAK answered back with a Polish Hammer into a bundle and planted Noren with an Olympic Slam. He got Noren in a camel clutch, poured the shit ton of bottlecaps over him, and broke a trashcan over his head. The plastic bag came out and SHLAK suffocated Noren for the win. Noren put up one hell of a fight but he was unfortunately not capable of stopping SHLAK. This was definitely a fun one to watch, Noren is a pretty good brawler and deserves more shots. Going through: SHLAK Craziest Spot: Attempted Homicide finish
Frozen Tundra Dry Ice: Neil Diamond Cutter defeated Dysfunction via Plunder Pile Deadly Dive
The next match would be an interesting one. This would be my first time seeing either guy in action despite hearing their names fairly often. Now would be a proving ground to see who is better with a ton of plunder and dry ice. NDC might be the only person I’ve seen who comes out to Sweet Caroline let alone get the crowd to sing along. NDC tried to charge Dysfunction but his target dodged and let him run into a tube bundle. Dysfunction cut into his opponent with a tube and launched him into a TV covered into mousetraps with a Biel. He attacked NDC with a cheese grater and started hitting him with the dry ice, putting it into NDC’s mouth. NDC finally got a break by reversing a whip and launched Dysfunction through one of the bottlecap doors. He then hit a bundle senton and took some glass to Dysfunction’s forehead. He grabbed a lemon to squeeze into the wounds of Dysfunction but the bigger man reversed and covered NDC in lemon juice. Dysfunction set up another TV on some chairs and smashed more tubes on NDC. He covered the TV in dry ice and smashed NDC through it with a DVD for two. A plunder pile was set up and Dysfunction set NDC up on the top. NDC reversed and slammed Dysfunction through the pile with a deadly drive for the three-count. The match was a bit shorter than the other two but no less impactful. Hats off to NDC for surviving that beatdown. The Honey Badger will go through to the next round. Dysfunction joined in with a dance along to Sweet Caroline on the way out. Going through: Neil Diamond Cutter Craziest Spot: Dry Ice TV DVD
Falls Count Anywhere Fuckery: Orin Veidt defeated John Wayne Murdoch via Assault Driver
The last first-round match would see the King of ICW No Holds Barred take on the Wizard King Orin Veidt. They would have a ton of glass and a whole host of death-defying stunts lined up as falls counted anywhere and Veidt looked to keep his win streak alive. The ring was full of fuckery and both competitors were hungry to murder one another. We got a bundle duel then went into a test of strength with added danger. Murdoch took the advantage and drove his elbow into Veidt’s face, accidentally knocking a tube fan in the process. The fight went outside and Murdoch took a cheese-grater to Veidt’s forehead then did the same with a pizza cutter. A door was set up that gave Veidt time to recover and smash another tube on Murdoch. He went one further and stabbed a gusset plate into Murdoch then made the mistake of turning his back on him and got a gusset in the chest. Both men stabbed each other with knives then Murdoch cut Veidt across the back and pummelled him with chops, forearms, and a sickening headbutt. Things returned to the ring and Murdoch tried to put Veidt away with a Deep South Destroyer but Veidt reversed sending him through a barbed-wire tube cabin with a back-body drop. Veidt put literal salt in the wounds and survived a low blow with a tiki torch. Veidt used the torch to grind Murdoch’s face and went top rope. He ended up arguing with a fan and Murdoch clocked him.
They fought on the top rope and Murdoch put Veidt through two doors with a Deep South Destroyer. Veidt somehow kicked out and broke a tube fan on Murdoch. They fought to the back and Murdoch ate another gusset plate stabbing. They made their way to a nearby house and climbed onto the railing. Veidt threw Murdoch off the railing onto a car below and followed with an elbow drop for two. They fought on top of the car until Murdoch muscled up Veidt for a brainbuster on the roof of the car. Veidt defied death again and started a slugfest on the car. Murdoch got his death-defying spot as he kicked out of an Assault Driver into the car’s windshield. They returned to the ring and went into another frantic tube duel. Murdoch crumpled and a pane of fuckery was brought into the ring. He regained consciousness and clubbed Veidt with a broken door as the fuckery was set up. The fight went top rope again and Veidt put Murdoch through the plunder pile with a cross-legged DVD. They slugged it out again and the glass pane was set in the corner. Veidt muscled up Murdoch for a final Assault Driver and put him through the pane of fuckery. This was fucking amazing. Both men killed each other in an absolute cracker of a deathmatch. This mas absolute madness and Veidt got one hell of a hard-earned victory. Going through: Orin Veidt Craziest Spot: All the car spots
Semi-Final – Doors of Death: SHLAK defeated Jeff King via Backdrop to Tube Chair
— Rob (@HeyyImRob) August 30, 2020
Our first semi-final match would be a match I’ll never get sick of seeing, Jeff King vs SHLAK in a “Doors of Death” match. They instantly started with a bar fight that saw King get knocked down. He didn’t languish though and hit SHLAK in the head with a chair. SHLAK tanked the blow and went full-on Rockem Sockem robots with King. He overpowered King and bounced a chair off his head. He hung King over the ropes and pelted him with red light-tubes the crowd dubbed big red dicks then hit a tube assisted guillotine leg drop. The assault continued as SHLAK put King through a carpet-strip covered door then stabbed him in the head with the strips. He abused King with more chair shots and a DVD through another door. King fired up and dumped SHLAK with a DVD too. He plonked SHLAK in a chair and made him hold a bundle. SHLAK woke up, hit King low, and put King through the bundle and chair with a Back Suplex for the win. This was short and sweet but it’s slightly sad to see King get beaten so easily. SHLAK makes his way to the finals at the expense of Jeff King and his back. That finish looked rough as fuck. Going through: SHLAK. Craziest Spot: The Finish
Semi-Final- 4 Corners of Insanity: Neil Diamond Cutter defeated Orin Veidt via Interference Capitalism
— Rob (@HeyyImRob) August 30, 2020
Our other semi-final would see the beaten-up Orin Veidt taking on the relatively fresh Neil Diamond Cutter in a 4 Corners of Insanity match with more fan-brought fuckery. NDC missed his second charge of the night and ran right into a corner full of glass. Veidt trapped NDC against the ropes and raked his back and face with a garden weasel. Veidt tried to attack with a mask covered in tacks but ended up eating a candy cane Christmas decoration. Veidt fired back with the candy cane and covered the ring in bottlecaps. NDC tried to attack back with his staple-gun but Veidt snatched it off him and stapled a dollar to his tongue. He then ground down NDC with a carpet strip and pulled out some purple tubes (big purple dicks) and smashed them into NDC. The torture continued as he picked up NDC and dumped him into the bottlecaps with a Gorilla Press slam then curb-stomped him into a tube bundle. NDC locked in a sleeper but Veidt powered him up and slammed him through a mousetrap door. They traded roll-ups in the bottlecaps and Veidt drove NDC through another bottlecap door. He activated some mousetraps and stuck NDC’s hand and tongue in them. Veidt sacrificed himself with a DDT into the caps and still only got two. NDC nailed a Leg Sweep but Veidt kicked it off. NDC retrieved a box of black tubes (you get it by now) and broke them over Veidt. He tried to set up something but Veidt grabbed him and made him eat a tube. He set up a chair and dropped NDC back first onto the legs of it with an Assault Driver. NDC somehow kicked out so Veidt broke another bundle on him and ground into him with a tack bat. NDC reversed into a jawbreaker and hit a double stomp into a tomb senton on Veidt’s chest. He followed with a Quebrada and set up a ton of fuckery by an 18-wheeler truck. Veidt gave chase and attacked NDC with a golf club, using it to wrangle NDC into a Rude Awakening. They climbed up the truck and Veidt put NDC through a tube covered door with a Cradle Shock. He carried NDC back to the ring and looked set to finish when the ring was stormed with people who attacked him with a fireball and tube double stomp off the top rope. NDC rolled over and pinned Veidt to progress. Veidt shook off the assault and gave chase after his assailant. NDC progresses but is not in good shape to take on SHLAK. Going through: Neil Diamond Cutter. Craziest Spot: Assault Driver onto the chair
Ultimate Insanity, Tube Cabins, Barbed-Wire, 2 Sides Light-Tubes, and 2 Sides Weapons from Every Other Stipulation: SHLAK defeated Neil Diamond Cutter via Chokebomb of Doom
— Rob (@HeyyImRob) August 31, 2020
Last but not least was the grand finale. The crescendo of fuckery reached it’s loudest as we had out total insanity final as SHLAK looked set to murder NDC with Corporal Robinson taking the role of the special guest official. It was going to get messy as SHLAK had a badly beaten-up NDC to carve up. NDC finally nailed his charge and drove SHLAK through a bundle of tubes and crashed another one into his back. He tried to attack SHLAK with a trashcan but SHLAK caught it and put NDC in it then dropped him with a Back Suplex. SHLAK stomped the trashcan and powerbombed NDC through a tube cabin. Be broke a bundle with an elbow and cut up NDC’s face with the glass. He softened up NDC with a barbed-wire chair and hit a brainbuster onto the devilish chair. NDC reversed a bundle strike and broke it with a headbutt in SHLAK’s face. He hit the tube senton and broke a tube chair onto SHLAK’s back. He set up a tube-covered chair but SHLAK woke up and Suplexed him through it. He then launched NDC into the ropes for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker into a f*ck-you driver against a tube pyramid. NDC woke up and broke more tubes on SHLAK and compelled SHLAK with the power of Neil with four tube-crucifixes. Big mistake as it woke up SHLAK and earned NDC a fast and violent chokebomb. SHLAK picked him up into a second powerbomb through a rack of tubes and played NDC like a glass xylophone. He broke a ton more tubes of various colours then dropped NDC on his head with a Tenzan Driver. NDC escaped death by putting his foot on the ropes so SHLAK gave NDC another chokebomb through a tube cabin for the win. SHLAK brutally took the win and is the victor of the 2020 Insane 8 tournament. The final delivered all the fuckery you needed as more glass was broken in this one match than in the rest of the tournament. I’ll commend NDC for taking three brutal beatings but in the end, SHLAK was unstoppable. He celebrated by eating glass and left with his newly made title.
Your winner: SHLAK – Craziest Spot: Tilt-a-whirl to f*ck you driver.
So, there you have it, ICW Milwaukee’s Insane 8 tournament reviewed for your reading pleasure. This was a fun show from a wrestling standpoint as the wrestlers went all out with what they had to deliver one hell of a kickass show. I, however, had two problems with it. One was the often-distracting attempt at commentary that whilst excelling at some points really detracted from the action in the ring and two, there was a disturbing lack of masks in this crowd. Wrestling in the COVID era needs proper safety precautions and this crowd didn’t seem to care a bit. That being said, watching it from the safety of my own home, it was a fucking awesome show with awesome matches. SHLAK winning added something extra for me, NDC is a new name to me who deserves a ton of respect, Orin Veidt, John Wayne Murdoch, and Jeff King reminded me of just how awesome they are and AKIRA just continues to blow people away, even in losing efforts. Everyone delivered here to make a weird, fun little show with a lot of ultraviolence.
— Ian (@3Countphoto) August 31, 2020