Welcome back to DDT. My favourite madcap wrestling company comes back to my attention with a show full of faction fights and comedic sights as Get Alive 2020 comes to my screen. Now, I’d be lying if I said my attention wasn’t taken by the No-DQ Universal Title match between Drew Parker and Chris Brookes. That right there already had me sold but also on the card a 10-man elimination match between DAMNATION and DISASTER BOX, a KO-D Six-Man Title defence against some unlikely foes and so much more. Let’s dive into the madness.

Akito & Yukio Naya defeated Junretsu (Makoto Oishi & Mizuki Watase) via The Knot on Watase

After opening announcements and a welcome from DISASTER BOX, we got our first match. It would be ALL OUT’s Akito teaming with the monster that is Yukio Naya against the Akiyama Army, Junretsu. Akito and Oishi started, with Akito taking control. Watase rushed the ring and the Junretsu duo double-teamed Akito. They continued to punish Akito through quick tags and nasty strikes. Oishi upped the ante with a DDT and Watase worked the face. Oishi cut off a comeback with an STF and forced Akito to the ropes (that Watase was pulling back just to be a dick.) Akito escaped Oishi and dropped him with a Suplex whilst Naya threw Watase to the outside and tagged into the match. He overpowered Oishi and brutalised him with slams and stretches. Watase made the save with a missile dropkick and gave Naya a beatdown. Oishi tried to capitalise with a tornado DDT but Naya threw him off. Watase gave him another shot and Oishi nailed a second. Watase tried for a Suplex but couldn’t muscle Naya up so tried for a running elbow and got caught into a side slam. Naya tagged out and Akito went to work on Watase. He tried to run the ropes but Watase landed a double stomp Junretsu took control again and Oishi took out Naya with a springboard plancha. In-ring, Watase nailed a hammerlock DDT but only got two and Akito locked him up the second he let go, winning with what I’ll call the knot as I honestly have no idea what it’s called. It was like an arm-trapped Figure-Four with more knots. Either way, this was an excellent opener and it’s nice to see Junretsu continue to make progress even in defeat. Plus, I always love seeing more WTF-worthy submissions.

Antonio Honda & Super Sasadango Machine defeated Keigo Nakamura & Kazuki Hirata via Musical Fist Drop

The second match started with a mix-up over corners and Nakamura refusing to dance with Hirata. They got over the corner mix-up and Hirata demanded he starts the match. Honda took him down and nearly broke his knee again as he tripped over Hirata’s body. They both tagged out and Nakamura tried some SERIOUS chain wrestling on Dango. Nakamura was unable to move Dango with shoulder charges and Dango completely no-sold his dropkick attempts. Nakamura then went to the knee and brought the big man down. He tagged out to Hirata, who went for his glasses to dance instead of continuing the leg work. Nakamura stopped this and told Hirata he wanted a SERIOUS match. Dango took them both down with a double clothesline and tagged out to Honda, who then broke his knee on the way into the ring. He asked for a mic and started telling his story leading to Gon the Fox but once again, Nakamura ruined the fun and hit him with a slingshot dropkick. He hit the double step lionsault and went for a pin. Hirata broke it up and scolded Nakamura for not getting the significance of the match. Dango informed him that his serious wrestling meant squat against them and that he needed something more fun than SERIOUS wrestling. We were then treated to a Creative folktale musical, Tokyo Gon in which Honda basically screamed the word penis a lot. There was also plenty of singing and dancing as Nakamura looked like he wanted to die. He finally lightened up and started dancing but it was all a ruse and the senpai team dropped Hirata and Nakamura with bionic elbows. Dango then nailed Nakamura with an F5 and Honda finished him with a fist drop. The veterans won but hopefully, Nakamura learned a lesson about the time and place for SERIOUS wrestling. This was stupid as hell but also really funny to watch.

KO-D Six-Man Titles: Eruption (Saki Akai, Yukio Sakaguchi & Kazusada Higuchi) defeated Seigo Tachibana, Yoshiko & Danshoku Dieno via Gedo Clutch on Dieno

Next up was the first title match of the night as Eruption defended their KO-D Six-Man titles against Danshoku Dieno, the master of the squat, Seigo Tachibana, and the terrifying Yoshiko. It was also going to be a poignant moment as it was Akai’s 7th anniversary and she was in the ring with her first opponent Yoshiko, just this time Yoshiko was wearing silly glasses. It was also humorous to see Sakaguchi corpsing at his opponents wearing pantyhose on their heads. Akai and Yoshiko started with a slugfest that Yoshiko won and started choking Akai. They tagged out and Higuchi and Tachibana took over. Higuchi rushed Tachibana with chops but Tachibana dodged, trapped Higuchi’s hands, and hit the squat pose, making Sakaguchi crack up again. Higuchi grabbed Tachibana by the pantyhose and dragged him back to his corner but could tag out as Sakaguchi was still laughing too hard. Akai gave Tachibana a kick and Sakaguchi finally tagged in. He couldn’t stop laughing though so the enemy team dragged him to their corner and continued making him laugh. Dieno put a horse mask on the mic manager as Yoshiko continued to attack a laughing Sakaguchi with corner kicks. The laughter team continued to put crew members in masks and attack Sakaguchi as he was helpless to defend himself. Higuchi and Akai were finally able to unmask Tachibana and Sakaguchi levelled him with kicks and tagged in Akai. Dieno tried to fight her but he too was unmasked. Akai pummelled down Tachibana but he managed to tag out of a Back Suplex. She rushed Akai but missed a running senton and was pulverised with kicks. She landed a clothesline and senton on Akai and went top rope but Higuchi caught her and dumped her on Tachibana with a powerslam. They tried to hit a double-team combo but Dieno hit a Danshoku screw on Higuchi and Yoshiko hit both with a senton. Dieno did the same to Sakaguchi and tried to will him into the Danshoku driver but Sakaguchi gave him a wedgie and locked in a sleeper. Dieno escaped with the help of some silly glasses and hit a finishing combo on Sakaguchi. Eruption made the save and Dieno lip-locked the ref. Tachibana put a horse mask on the ref forcing Sakaguchi to break his pinfall in laughter. Everyone fought everyone until the ref was unmasked and Sakaguchi was able to trap Dieno with a Gedo Clutch. This again was really silly but really fun and actually gave me a thought, why haven’t people tried to prey on people’s weaknesses more in the ring? Well in a more overt way. Taking Sakaguchi out of the equation because he’s laughing too hard was a smart plan that ultimately didn’t work.

Sanshiro Takagi & Jun Akiyama defeated ALL OUT (Shunma Katsumata & Konosuke Takeshita) via Exploder on Katsumata

That was followed by a more serious bout as ALL OUT, decked out in OK BOOMER shirts, took on the veteran team of Sanshiro Takagi and Jun Akiyama. Akiyama and Takeshita started with a cagey standoff then traded knockdowns and dodges, both guys too smart for the other. Both tagged out and Takagi and Katsumata started a slugfest. Katsumata survived a crossbody and rope attack to knock down Akiyama and launched Takagi with a Frankensteiner. He took the fight outside and threw Takagi into the railings then did the same to Akiyama. Takagi rushed Katsumata, at the expense of his own partner and hit Katsumata with a slam then tagged out. Akiyama’s face injury proved a weak point and Katsumata went right after it with more blows. Akiyama fired back with a slam and Takagi went after the cuts on Katsumata’s back from the previous day’s BJW deathmatch show. Both men continued to rake the back then Akiyama hit a snap piledriver. They then went on a slamming train that left Katsumata battered and Takagi winded. Katsumata made his escape with a dropkick and tagged in his partner. Takeshita nailed Takagi with a forearm and booted Akiyama down. Takeshita dominated Takagi and went to the top rope only for Takagi to knock him back off with a cartwheel strike. Takagi tried for a superplex but Takeshita booted him down and dived into a stunner. Akiyama tagged in and smashed Takeshita with a duo of knee strikes then started throwing more slugs. Takeshita and Akiyama traded suplexes and Takeshita tagged out to Katsumata. He took out Takagi and dropped Akiyama with a superkick. He hit his diving splash but Takagi made the save with a DVD and Akiyama launched another knee strike. Katsumata kicked out so Akiyama hit a second and the Exploder for the win. ALL OUT has not had much luck against Akiyama and that streak continues here as Takeshita vs Akiyama’s singles match draws closer. As it stands this was a small reminder of what the two will do to each other in a ring. Plus, I will always say yes to more Katsumata ring time.

DDT Universal Title No DQ: Chris Brookes (w/Masahiro Takanashi) defeated Drew Parker (w/Abdullah Kobayashi) via Praying Mantis Bomb

Let me preface this by saying, I love everything about this match. Two British wrestling guys who’ve killed it in Japan at Korekuen Hall in a no DQ title match with Abdullah Kobayashi there for moral support. How is that not awesome? Drew Parker, the deathmatch Prince taking on his best friend in a match that couldn’t suit him better to avenge a broken mug. Parker struck first and took Brookes out with a hip attack and dive before he could even get his jacket off. Parker littered the ring with chairs and smashed one over Brookes’ back. He tried to put Brookes through a table but Brookes chopped him down and threw him into the guardrail. He then hit Parker with a neckbreaker off the table then hit him with a chair in-ring. He set up more chairs and got dropped back-first on to them by Parker. Both men now had bad backs and Parker made it worse by grabbing a fork board and setting it up in the corner. He tried to muscle Brookes up for a DVD but got sanitiser spray fired into his eyes. Brookes then trapped him against the ropes and stapled a flier to his cheek. He continued by chopping it out and nailed a huge running dropkick. Things got sicker as Brookes then used a plastic fork to pry the staples back out of Parker’s cheek then broke a plastic tub over his head. He made a tub pyramid and set up a ladder. They fought up it and Parker knocked Brookes through the pyramid with a Meteora. He then locked Brookes in an octopus hold, survived a nose breaker, and put Brookes through the fork board with a back-body drop. He continued by skewering Brookes’ head and trying to KO him with a piledriver. Brookes avoided a 450 and tried for the corner senton combo but Parker met him up there. After a brief struggle, Brookes threw Parker off the top, into a guardrail. Brookes pursued him outside and slammed him onto the table, breaking more of the forks over his head for good measure. He then went top rope and put Parker through the table with a senton. Both men crawled back into the ring and Parker nearly scored a shock win with a roll-up double stomp but Brookes just beat the count. He rolled up Brookes out of a Praying Mantis Bomb and peppered Brookes with thrust kicks but ran straight into a Michinoku driver. He flipped off Brookes and remained defiant as Brookes brought down a chair over his head and hit the Praying Mantis Bomb for the win. This was absolutely amazing. A drama-heavy and violent encounter where the rules and friendship went out of the window. They both put each other through hell then hugged it out at the end. Now they’ll be going for the tag titles at the next Korakuen show.

10-Man Elimination Tag: DAMNATION (Tetsuya Endo, Daisuke Sasaki, Mad Paulie, Soma Takao & Nobuhiro Shimatani) defeated DISASTER BOX (HARASHIMA, Naomichi Marufuji, Yuki Ueno, Naomi Yoshimura & Toru Owashi) via Shooting Star Press on Ueno

Last but not least, the main event. A chaotic 10-man elimination tag match where there would be over the top rope eliminations allowed and no tags required. It would be pure chaos as DAMNATION and DISASTER BOX would go to war again. Since this was a 20+ minute clusterf*ck I will try to summarise it as best I can or I’ll end up writing (more of) an essay. DAMNATION had tried to make it a loser disbands their faction match but DISASTER BOX weren’t going to risk it. Takao started by taking the piss out of Marufuji’s hair then ran away. Endo took his place and did the same. Nobu went after Ueno the pair traded everything, including poses. Owashi and Paulie had a big boy Lucha bout that also ended in a pose-off and poor sportsmanship from Paulie. Everyone fought everywhere then DAMNATION beatdown Owashi and Ueno in the ring. Owashi continued to be singled out by everyone, his escape being prevented by Endo/Nobu double-team. He eventually kicked down Endo and made the tag to HARASHIMA who beat up Sasaki and Takao then nearly eliminated Endo. Yoshimura came out to play and beatdown Sasaki with power moves then worked with Ueno to brutalise Nobu. He escaped a 5-man beatdown thanks to his teammates and Takao took over to beatdown Marufuji. HARASHIMARUFUJI tried to work together but Takao sabotaged it and eliminated Marufuji with a dropkick. Owashi hit more big boy Lucha on Endo and Takao then ran into a brick wall named Paulie. Owashi then grabbed onto Nobu and Paulie and sacrificed himself by telling HARASHIMA and Ueno to dropkick him off the apron.

Sasaki then ate everyone’s finisher and got decked by multiple clotheslines from Yoshimura. Nobu saved him and distracted Yoshimura, allowing Sasaki to hit him in the balls and roll him up. All of DAMNATION rushed Ueno in the corner then all of DISASTER BOX rushed Takao, hitting him with a five-man basement dropkick. HARASHIMA then nailed him with a gutbuster and threw him over the top rope with a rope-hung Frankensteiner. DAMNATION tried to drag him down off the apron but his teammates saved him. Ueno and HARASHIMA kicked the crap out of Endo and Sasaki then Ueno and Sasaki went through a series of counters. Sasaki got the better and locked in a Crossface but HARASHIMA made the save and drilled him with a Poisonrana. Endo threw out HARASHIMA with a torture rack toss and Ueno fought with Sasaki on the apron. Endo tried to assist with a handspring kick but Ueno dodged and Endo eliminated Sasaki. Ueno nearly won with a bridging half and half but Endo kicked out, dodged a moonsault, and nailed Ueno with a sunset flip Canadian destroyer. He finished up with the Shooting Star Press and claimed the win for DAMNATION. It was a valiant effort from DISASTER BOX but there’s no stopping DAMNATION right now. Endo and Takao addressed the crowd and laid out challengers for Ultimate Party in November. SOMACIMA will take on HARASHIMARUFUJI if they can survive to fight each other and Endo will fight Sasaki for the KO-D Openweight title. What a closing match. It was frantic, fun, and just about the right length. There were funny moments, predictable moments, and some shocks thrown in as Owashi made the sacrifice of a lifetime, and Marufuji was eliminated first. I was pleasantly surprised by how good this was.

So, there you have it, DDT Get Alive 2020 reviewed for your reading pleasure. Well, this was all fun, wasn’t it? There was a nice balance of SERIOUS and silly as we went on a two- and a-bit hour ride through comedy gold, dramatic rivalries, and hardcore violence. DDT has got it all and continues to deliver time and time again. What originally started as me wanting to see the Universal title match led to me enjoying a variety show of fun tags and frantic multi-man matches. I look forward to the next one. Until then, let’s not forget that Drew Parker and Chris Brookes will now be going for the tag belts, hell yes. Also, thanks again to DDT English Update for making the action just that little bit easier to understand.

All images courtesy of ddtpro.com