Welcome back to ChocoPro wrestling, the little promotion that could from a single room with the chocolate square as a ring. I’ve covered this promotion before but since then, it has continued to get better and bring in more and more surprise faces. Since it is the season and I’ve been doing everything deathmatch this month, I feel like it’s the best time to return to them since their newest episode has the ChocoPro MonoBoke Deathmatch between BJW deathmatch icon, Jaki Numazawa, Antonio Honda, and Obihiro Sayaka. This was accompanied by two mystery matches so, let’s get into the action!

Mystery Match 1: Baliyan Akki defeated Fake Baliyan Akki via Double Triangle Choke

Our first match was dubbed as the X vs X match. It would see the newly back Baliyan Akki taking on a shocking opponent, himself. Well, someone cleverly pretending to be Baliyan Akki V1. Fake Akki totally didn’t look like Emi Sakura at all but for now, they are Fake Akki. They locked up with Akki forcing fake Akki to the outside multiple times. Akki watched Fake Akki copy his moves, then rolled them through into a double leg lock. Akki went for Fake Akki’s fake wounded shoulder and put them in an abdominal stretch variant. Fake Akki reversed into the same submission, then got dumped against the wall with a DVD. Fake Akki hit Akki with a boot, then ran into the wall again as they failed to attach to the wall. They clubbed down Real Akki and planted him into the mat with a slam. They opened the windows and climbed up for a Spider as Real Akki cheered them on but they couldn’t cling to the wall and fell off. Akki helped Fake Akki pull off the Spider, then brought them crashing down into a backbreaker. They both missed with kicks, then Real Akki KO’ed Fake Akki with a combo of strikes into an enzuigiri. They traded more attempts until Fake Akki landed a kick to the knee. Fake Akki ran into a dropkick and was brought to the mat with a Dragonrana. Fake Akki answered back with a combo of kicks and went up to the top for the Namaste splash. They crashed onto Real Akki’s knees and threw the ref at Real Akki to knock him off the top. They used the ref to try and pull off the Namaste splash but Akki caught them into a Triangle. Both Fake Akki and the ref tapped out so Real Akki got the win over his evil Doppelganger. This was exceptional fun and the perfect way to start off a Halloween-themed wrestle-fest.

ChocoPro Battle Royal – Mei Suruga defeated Sayuri, Chie Koshikawa, Yuna Mizumori, Baliyan Akki & Lulu Pencil via Outlasting the competition

The second match of the night was a special Halloween-Themed ChocoPro battle royal. The rules were relatively simple, you would be out if you could no longer compete, got pinned, or were thrown out of the studio windows. The first two entrants were Snow White Mei Suruga (complete with poison apple) and Red Riding Hood Sayuri. They danced around the square for a bit, admiring the other’s costume, then reluctantly wrestled. They traded technical locks whilst making time to act like princesses. They traded strikes, then Suruga put Sayuri in a body-scissor and rolled her into a pinfall. Sayuri kicked back and also went for a roll-up. They slugged it out until a person in a sushi costume appeared in the ring. It was Chie Koshikawa, the next entrant into the battle royal. She was battered like a ping pong sushi, then curled back up into a ball and let the others fight. Sayuri locked in a sleeper, then tropical Harley Quinn, Yuna Mizumori became the next entrant. She attacked both women with pineapple batons and choked them out with pumpkin decorations. A samurai appeared to stop such unruly behaviour, Baliyan Akki (the real one.) We got a baton vs kendo stick fight that saw the kendo stick win and Harley roll away crying. Just as Akki was fitting into his traditional samurai pose, another entrant made their appearance. It was Lulu Pencil as a Gundam. She tacked everyone so Chie curled back up into being sushi again. Everyone stopped for a pose, then Akki cut down everyone but Mei. They teamed up and everyone tried to Suplex everyone. As they were all locked up, Chie climbed on top of the pile and curled up again. That broke down and Akki started slamming people into the wall. Mei then accidentally threw Akki into the wall and everyone dog-piled him. He was the first to be eliminated.

All the ladies stopped to dance, then Mizumori attacked everyone and hit Chie with a giant swing. Sayuri put her in a sleeper and tried to use the window for leverage. Mizumori dumped her outside, eliminating her. Mei and Pencil got into a screaming contest, then started dancing again until Mei turned it into a flying arm-drag. Pencil tried to roll-up Mizumori after a series of rolls and got killed by the poison apple. She was eliminated. Mei then kicked out of a Mizumori splash and got bounced off the wall again. Chie and Mei teamed up for a giant swing on Mizumori but Mizumori shook this off and threw both women into each other. She ran herself into the wall so Mei and Chie teamed up again and launched her out of the window with chops and kicks. Mizumori had been eliminated. Chie tried to eliminate Mei with a series of roll-ups, then got run into the wall. Mei tried to go up top and Chie tried to eliminate her with a hip attack. Mei held on and kicked her down. Mei missed with a double stomp and ran into another roll-up. Mei kicked out and tried for the Kawaii roll-up but Chie rolled up into a sushi ball again, blocking it. Mei bit down on Chie and rolled her up for the win. The number one entrant had claimed the win after a gruelling bout of comedic highs and vicious fighting. She may have accidentally killed Lulu Pencil with a poison apple but she was still victorious in the end.

MonoBoke Deathmatch: Jaki Numazawa defeated Antonio Honda & Sakaya Obihiro via points

Last but not least, the main event. A MonoBoke deathmatch featuring BJW’s Jaki Numazawa, ChocoPro favourite Antonio Honda and ChocoPro’s Obi-Chan, Sayaka Obihiro. There would be a twenty-minute match with whoever gets a two-count would have to show off their Monoboke or comedy skills. if the referee finds the joke or skit funny, he gets a point. The wrestler with the most points at the end gets the win. it was going to be interesting to see if Numazawa’s comedy skills could match his bloodletting skills. He had promised to be 100% serious through the match but I feel that would break. We got a three-way lock up that resulted in Sayaka and Numazawa trading waist-locks as Honda gave moral support. We got a three-way test of strength that saw everyone dance and a lot of traded one-counts. Everyone burst into song and a chopping contest broke out. Everyone picked on Honda and he begged for a time out. It was a trap though and he hit both with a time-out sign chop, the time cutter! Honda got a two-count on Sayaka and pretended he got a bump from hitting himself in the head with a whacky hammer. Everyone laughed so he got a point. Numazawa and Sayaka fired off on each other, then Sayaka got a big roll-up on Honda. She made a joke with a bat but the ref didn’t laugh so she hit him with the bat instead. Numazawa clubbed down both fighters with a double clothesline and pinned both for a two-count. This gave him two chances at comedy. His first skit involved a load of bickering pumpkins and a sword song that got a point. His second involved wigs and a watering can that didn’t get a point. Numazawa watched Honda and Sayaka fight and failed to break up another Honda pinfall. Honda did a song with a rubber mohawk and glasses that got a point. He had taken the lead. Sayaka came back out swinging and tanked Honda’s punches to kick him low. Numazawa danced along to this and interrupted her momentum. Everyone continued to interrupt the other’s flow. Everyone powered up but Honda ducked, Numzawa and Sayaka collided and he pinned both of them. He did another two skits that both got points.

With five minutes left on the clock, Honda had 4 points, Numazawa had 1 point and Sayaka had no points. Sayaka ran Honda and Numzawa into each other and rolled up Honda for her second skit attempt. She once again got no points because her businessman skit fell flat. Honda and Numazawa tried to double team her but failed and Numazawa was pinned again with a bridging Northern Lights. She finally got her first point with a DJ Obihiro skit. Numazawa scored another quick roll-up and scored another point with a Robocop parody. He quickly pinned a laughing Honda in the last minute where the stakes were raised to 10 points per laugh. He failed to get a point and Sayaka quickly pinned him. She too failed to get any points so Honda got the last pinfall of the match and had an all or nothing skit. He cost himself the win by doing a scary seppuku skit and lost all his points. Numazawa won as the second-place points total holder and claimed the victory. This was one hell of a weird match but it was rather fun to watch. Numazawa seemed to be on the verge of dying from either laughter or embarrassment at any point which added an extra level of comedy to it all. A must watch if you’re feeling down at the moment.

So, there you have it, my whacky return to ChocoPro wrestling. It was a fun slice of Halloween-themed, comedy-tinged goodness that I don’t think any other company can match. it’s always free to watch on YouTube too so I feel like it’s one of wrestling’s hidden gems. They continuously put on fun shows, with some exceptional matches and a whole host of surprise guests. They’ve done shows with Minoru Suzuki, Masato Tanaka, Minoru Fujita, and now, Jaki Numazawa too. it’s always a coin toss as to who can appear but one thing’s for certain, it’s always a good time. I think I’m going to stick around and review more of these shows as they appear. So, if you enjoyed this, stay tuned to SteelChair for more in the future. There are currently 58 other episodes on their YouTube channel to dig into if you want more now.

All images courtesy of mattsdl Twitter, Mei Suruga Twitter, Video courtesy of Gatoh-Move YouTube