WARNING STRONG VIOLENCE AND STRONG LANGUAGE AHEAD

It’s astounding. Time is fleeting. Madness takes its toll. All accurate lines to describe the action that was about to take place under the booking eye of the Punk-Rock Kween, Jamie Senegal. The Sound Bar was about to be blessed by a whole host of violent shenanigans and wrestling action. We would see The End take on The Ugly Ducklings, Jamie Senegal vs Su Yung, AJ Gray vs Lord Crewe, Zicky Dice vs Colby Corino vs Derek Drexl and so much more. Let’s get into the shlock (not the shock…) and horror of this wrestling horror feature.

The End (Parrow & Odinson) defeated The Ugly Ducklings (Lance Lude & Rob Killjoy) via Doomsday Device on Killjoy

How do you start a show like this? How about sending two monsters out to kill The Ugly Ducklings in a no-ring deathmatch? That is basically what this looked like on paper. The Ugly Ducklings can survive against monsters but could they best The End? The Ducklings tried to strike first and knocked The End off the stage but got caught out of dives and powerbombed onto the stage. They manhandled the Ducklings and set up plunder but Killjoy sprayed both men in the eyes with chrome spray. They dumped Parrow onto some chairs with an assisted Sliced Bread and kicked down Odinson on the stage. They continued on Odinson with a wheelbarrow moonsault and standing moonsault combo, then Parrow dragged both away and hit a double chokeslam onto chairs and a door. He continued to torture Killjoy by bouncing him off every surface possible and watched Lance Lude dive from a distance and fail to KO Parrow. The End continued to bully the Ducklings and set up more plunder. They decided on a door covered in thumbtacks and Parrow hoisted up Lude for a powerbomb. Killjoy tried to make the save by throwing a bundle at Parrow but once again, this did nothing but piss him off. They kicked both members of the End in the balls and smashed keyboards over their heads. They went after Odinson with Christmas ornaments but a duck-covered bat just woke him up, until they hit him in the dick again. Odinson was wrapped up like a present, but it had no effect, and they beat him like a pinata. They took Parrow down with a senton/crossbody combo and put him through a door with a catapult. Odinson tried to fight back but the Ducklings knocked him off the stage with double superkicks onto the thumbtack covered door. The End fired up off the pain and knocked Lude out of the air, then suplexed Killjoy on top of him. Lude was destroyed by a powerbomb into the wall, and Killjoy’s throat was crushed by a chair leg drop. They then put Killjoy out of his misery with a Doomsday Device off the stage through another door. The Ducklings put up one hell of a fight but they just couldn’t keep The End down for long enough. It did, however, prove to be an excellent opening bout.

Keita Murray defeated Devon Monroe via Shining Wizard

Next up was a double No Peace debut as Devon Monroe and Keita Murray made their debuts against each other. This was going to get wild as both men are hungry stars with an array of dazzling moves at their disposal. Murray wanted to start things with a kiss but Monroe rejected him and ducked a lariat to show off some of that black Sexcellence. Murray tried to appreciate Monroe’s peach but Monroe caught him and dropped him to the floor for some stomps. Monroe continued to hammer on Murray and hit a tornado DDT off the wall. Murray whipped Monroe into the stage but ate a boot and got dumped again with a hurricanrana. Murray finally snapped and caught Monroe out of a head-scissor and dumped him chest and face-first onto the stage with one arm. He stomped down Monroe and dropped him throat-first onto the guardrail. The pair fought over a Suplex on the stage with Monroe floating over and blasting Murray with a discus forearm to the back of the neck. Murray kicked a chair away from Monroe and a slugfest broke out. Murray reversed a whip and sent Monroe on another trip into the guardrail. Monroe avoided certain death and hit Murray with a springboard jawbreaker off the guardrail onto a chair. Things got sassy as Monroe hit Murray with a twerk attack and Murray finally got his kiss. He then superkicked the chair into Monroe’s face and ended the match with a shining wizard. This was more excellent fun with more excellent wrestling. Both guys put on one hell of a match and I do hope they come back.

Jamie Senegal defeated Su Yung (w/The Sinister Minister) via Roundhouse Kick

Next up was the first match of the double feature. Our mistress of horror herself Jamie Senegal was going to take on the Undead Bride Su Yung with The Sinister Minister at her side. Well, Senegal went one better; she had a video from Bill Moseley at the ready. The Sinister Minister did propose a serious question though, how can you win a deathmatch against the undead? They started by throwing hands and both scored knockout blows with a backhand and diving knee. A discus forearm sent Yung reeling and after a second to the back, all three people involved in the match enjoyed a beer. Yung took a swig of beer, then threw the can in Senegal’s face. The pair got into another hockey fight Su sunk her teeth into Senegal’s arm but Senegal answered back with a spin kick and sent Yung into a chair. Yung hit low and dragged out a door covered in dildos with RIP Jamie on the back. They brawled around it, then Su launched Senegal through the big dick door. Yung continued to swing on Senegal and pummelled her with a chair. She choked Senegal against the guardrail and continued to break her down with strikes.

She launched Senegal into the guardrail again, then mounted her for slaps and climbed onto the guardrail for a tightrope hurricanrana. Yung set up another door, this time covered in glowsticks, and ate a roundhouse kick from Senegal. The pair threw baubles at each other and Senegal launched Yung up to the stage with a ripcord kick. The fight went up to the stage where Su Yung dropped Senegal with a pedigree and trapped her under a chair for another low blow. Senegal took a seat and Su continued to pound and choke away at her, even employing the rope she’d been led in on as a weapon. She tied Senegal to the chair and brought out a can of dog food. She poured that over Senegal, then put a towel over her head and waterboarded her. She brought out a bottle of lighter fluid and looked to set Senegal on fire when a staff member tried to interject. He got misted and Senegal broke free… only to get hit in the head by a kendo stick. She wailed on Senegal with more shots, then the Minister held her in place as Yung grabbed the bloody glove. The Minister ate the bloody glove as Senegal ducked and Su was hit by a confetti tube. Senegal drove Yung off the stage through the glowstick door for a two-count, then doused Yung in beer and won the match with a brutal roundhouse kick to the head. Senegal had won her marquee match but it had not gone smoothly. Yung tortured her as the Sinister Minister revelled in it but Senegal persevered and won in a nasty fashion.

Jake Crist vs Tye Hyll ended due to footage cut

Next up was something more chaotic. It would be the high-flying Tye Hyll taking on the Modern-Day Man in Black, Jake Crist. It was Mindless Self Indulgence vs Johnny Cash in a maddening brawl. Crist instantly floored Hyll with a superkick and the pair forearmed each other around the bar. Crist kicked Hyll again and suplexed him to the floor. He peppered Hyll with chops and launched him into the guardrail. He dropped Hyll over the guardrail with an inverted Suplex and superkicked him into the crowd. He suplexed Hyll back into the pit and took a breather. Hyll forced him into the guardrail and threw different chops and body attacks at Crist, then hit a twisting cutter off the stage. He hit a standing shooting star press off the press but Crist got his knees up and winded Hyll. Crist sent Hyll into the guardrail again, then launched him up and over the stage. He tried for another Suplex but Hyll DDTed him to the floor. Crist was run into the rails and caught Hyll with an enzuigiri, then blasted Hyll with more kicks. He set up a multitude of chairs and the feed to the match cut out. I’m not sure how it ended or where the footage went but we’ll assume the match is a no contest. It was fun for what it was but I would have loved to see the rest of it, the gifs I have seen show the most mental cutter of the whole show.

AJ Gray defeated Lord Crewe via Fuckery Pyramid Chokeslam

With the abrupt end to that last match, we had the motherfucking truth AJ Gray taking on Lord Crewe in more deathmatch action. Gray is on a No Peace win streak, could he keep it going against the bare-knuckle berserker? Gray broke a tube over himself in his entrance, then took another load to the head as Crewe threw a bundle at him. The pair clobbered each other with vicious strikes, then Gray chopped Crewe against the guardrail and broke tubes over him. He went for a gusset plate but Crewe knocked it away, then jammed it into Gray’s head. He delivered a stiff kick to Gray’s head and continued the tube assault, then the pair went into another slugfest. Gray suplexed Crewe into the glass and hammered his back with a chair, then brought in a fan to do the same. He hit a stalling piledriver onto the chair and carved into Crewe’s head with a broken light tube. He dragged Crewe up to the stage for a powerbomb through a tube pile but Crewe broke free, stunned Gray with a back fist, and dumped him through the tubes with an X-Plex. Crewe set up some chairs and a bar fight broke out. That transitioned to standing chops and headbutts before Gray hit Crewe in the throat and went back to the tubes.

Crewe fired back with more tubes and the pair resumed trying to cave in the other’s chest. Gray broke a bundle over Crewe and threw a chair at him but Crewe caught it, tossed it back, and kicked it into Gray’s face. He didn’t stop there and chokeslammed Gray through the chair, sending more stray glass everywhere. A barbed-wire door was set up and chairs were piled on top of it until a pyramid of barbed-wire, chairs, and glass had been made, then they added lattices of carpet-strips and fed light-tubes through the gaps. Crewe tried to chokeslam Gray through this fuckery but Gray broke free and smashed more tubes over Crewe, then hit him in the face with a tube crutch. He chokeslammed Crewe through the fuckery pyramid and took the win. These two beat the hell out of each other and it was fucking awesome to watch. These two feel like natural opponents and the violence on display could have lasted for a lot longer without me getting bored. What a fight. Give me more Lord Crewe.

Zicky Dice defeated Colby Corino & Derek Drexl via Fire, Glass, and Concrete Driver to Drexl

Last but not least, the main event. The last act of this creature feature would be a triple-threat between Colby Corino, Zicky Dice, and the Devil Himself Derek Drexl. There was fuckery aplenty and all three men were going to use it. I don’t think they could have picked a more varied cast of characters to fight in this “Ménage à Trois” of carnage. Dice instantly tried to bail, claiming he had no ring so he wasn’t working so Corino and Drexl hit him in the throat. Those two turned on each other and Drexl threw Corino into the wall. Dice performed a magic trick and took both down with a double clothesline. He pulled a pack of cards out of his fanny pack and tried to entertain Drexl but the cards were sent flying and Corino superkicked his jaw off. Drexl gave Corino papercuts between his fingers and gave Dice one to the mouth. Corino got his revenge by throwing tubes into Drexl’s back and attacked both men with VHS tapes. He attacked Dice with a vinyl bat and Drexl pelted a chair at Corino. He attacked Corino with tubes and Dice attacked him with the vinyl bat and a tube pentagram. Dice teed off on Corino so Drexl hit Dice in the back with another tube and Corino thanked him by hitting him with more VHS tapes. He downed Dice with a springboard kick then used him as a springboard for a wheelbarrow cutter on Drexl. He then used Drexl as a launchpad for a Frankensteiner on Dice. He lifted Drexl up and hit a DVD/Cannonball combo on his opponents. Right now, it was all Corino.

Corino looked to use a trampoline but Drexl bounced him off the stage and Suplexed him into a glass pile. Dice pulled out a taser and rushed both his opponents but missed and Drexl DDT’ed him into the floor. Corino forced Drexl to take a seat and gave him a load of tubes. He made his way to the stage and tried to leap off the trampoline onto Drexl. This failed as Drexl swatted him out of the air with tubes and attacked both men with bone daggers. This woke Dice up and he saved Corino with a tube to the back of Drexl. Dice went for a pin but Drexl knocked him away and rammed a tube field-goal through Corino. He followed up with a neckbreaker and Dice dragged the trampoline down to hit Drexl with a jumping Axe Handle. He fired up the crowd as Corino dragged a tube ladder out. Corino stabbed another VHS into Dice’s head and set a door up along the guardrail. He laid out Drexl on the door and climbed up the bar, then got nothing but the door off a diving elbow as Drexl moved. Dice capitalised by throwing a still-stunned Drexl through the tube ladder. Both men took a breather, then Drexl found the great equaliser in a kick to Dice’s balls. Drexl broke more tubes over Dice and carved up his face with broken glass. Drexl tortured Dice on the stage as the Orlando Death Squad set up more fuckery in the pit. They built up a tower of glass, doors, and concrete, then set the motherfucker on fire because why not? Drexl tried to pick Dice up but Dice hit low and put Drexl through the fuckery inferno with a Tiger Driver. He picked up the win over two game opponents and Drexl managed to take the nastiest bump of the night. Fuck me it takes a lot to keep the Devil Himself down for a three count… Also, massive props to the continuation of deathmatch Colby Corino.

So, there you have it, No Peace Underground presents, Jamie Senegal’s Glamorously Horrific No-Ring Double Feature reviewed for your reading pleasure. What a fucking show. We got a deliciously deadly combination of hardcore delights and technically charged no-ring fun all presented by Jamie Senegal channelling the energy of Elvira, Mistress of Horror. The matches rocked, the show was well produced, bar the sudden footage cut and the wrestlers all put in their best. This is one hell of an IWTV gem with big names, big spots, and just big-time fun all in the watch-time of a horror movie. What more can you ask for?

All images courtesy of No Peace Twitter, IsThisWrestling, Beyond Wrestling Twitter, Jamie Senegal Twitter,