WARNING STRONG VIOLENCE AND LANGUAGE AHEAD
Welcome back to No Peace Underground. The bar of blood was back again to bring us another night of car crash wrestling and no-ring deathmatch shenanigans. On the card tonight, we’d see Lindsay Snow battle Neil Diamond Cutter, Alex Ocean takes on Bam Sullivan, MV Young vs Parrow, Conor Claxton vs MASADA and so much more. Things were going to get ugly as the Orlando Death Squad looked to outdo themselves once again in the fuckery leagues and Joey Janela joined Drennan on commentary. Let’s get into the action!
Parrow defeated MV Young via Fire-Thunder Driver on the floor
— Rob (@HeyyImRob) December 14, 2020
First up tonight was the debut of deathmatch MV Young to No Peace. The leader of the motherfucking Polyam Cult would have a lot on his plate as not only was he dealing with deathmatch fuckery, he’d be dealing with the monster Parrow. MV tried to start strong, chopping the life out of Parrow but Parrow shook it off and shoved him down. Parrow drove MV into a post and MV answered back swiftly with a superkick and dropkick off the stage. MV tried for a dive but Parrow caught him and tossed him into the guardrail with a fallaway slam. Parrow brought out a chair and knocked out the feed, then MV’s spine. He set more chairs up on the floor and went to retrieve MV but as he climbed back up the stage, MV took the chair to his legs and back, then hit him in the jaw with an unprotected knee strike. Parrow collapsed onto his chairs and MV drove him onto them with a double stomp off the stage. MV set up a guardrail on the floor and continued to beatdown Parrow with a stiff jaw kick and a flurry of punches. He tried to whip Parrow but Parrow reversed and dragged him into a powerbomb against the wall into some tubes. MV survived so Parrow dragged out more chairs and chokeslammed MV through them. The pair fought around the guardrail until MV stunned Parrow with a duo of kicks and launched him through the guardrail and tubes with a back body drop. MV pulled out a Polyam Inc door and the pair swung on each other again. MV got dumped through his door with another powerbomb and defiantly tried to roll-up Parrow. That just pissed him off and he picked up MV once more and drove him into the ground with a Fire-Thunder Driver. This was a fucking excellent opening match. It had a nice bit of violence, blood, and brutality to open this monster of a show. As per Polyam Cult rules, this match gets 7 stars by default.
Otis Cogar defeated Beastly via Door Uranage
— Otis Cogar (@Otis_Cogar) December 14, 2020
Next up was a battle of the beasts. It would be the aptly named Beastly taking on the bigger half of the Cogars, Otis Cogar. This was going to be an ultraviolent hoss fight and the crowd was more than ready. The two started by forearming the fuck out of each other, then Beastly took a trip into the guardrail. Cogar missed a charge so Beastly gave him another stiff forearm and bit into his head. Cogar cracked him in the gut and broke tubes over Beastly’s back and head, then carved into him with a broken tube. He dragged the fight back up to the stage and tried to kick away at Beastly but Beastly shrugged it off and tossed Cogar into the wall. Beastly went to the tubes and brought them down over Cogar’s head, then tried to claw at him. Cogar launched him off the stage and dived onto him with a flying body press. The pair fought around a door, then Cogar put himself through it with a missed senton. Beastly beat down Cogar with an array of blunt objects, then sandwiched him between two door parts and battered him with a chair. Cogar swung back with another chair and smashed it across Beastly’s skull, then rummaged through his bag of tricks for another nasty addition to the match. Beastly hit him in the balls as he was distracted and hit Cogar with an underhook neckbreaker. He set up another door on the stage and pelted Cogar with another chair. He looked in Cogar’s bag and recoiled in fear allowing Cogar a chance to strike and put him through the door with a uranage. Beastly slumped to the floor and Cogar got the win. He wasn’t done there though as he sat Beastly back down and brought out the item that had scared Beastly so much… a pig face. He placed this over Beastly and revelled in his savagery. What ab ugly end to a nice brawl. There was a lot of hoss fight fun here.
Lindsay Snow defeated Neil Diamond Cutter via Tube Gingerbread House Murder
After that was my most-anticipated fight of the night. The American Kaiju Lindsay Snow was here to make her deathmatch singles debut against the Honey Badger Neil Diamond Cutter after their heated exchange in the Body Count Battle. Now, there was no one to interfere and a whole ton of fuckery for the pair to use and abuse. They started off trading slugs, with Cutter taking Snow a little lightly, then Snow knocked him silly and kicked the soul out of him against the stage. She broke the first tube over Cutter’s head and he asked for more, holding one in place for her to kick into his chest. He kept giving her tubes and she kept breaking them into him. She continued to hammer down the blows, then he hit her in the leg and headbutted a tube into her head. He carved her up with a broken tube and took another beating from Snow. The pair traded U-tube shots and Snow locked in a Sleeper on a seated Cutter. The fans got to Snow so Cutter tripped her into the chair and with it wrapped around her neck, rammed her into the stage. He trapped her in the chair and tripped her again, then set-up a door, hitting Snow with anything in sight when she started to stir. He covered the door with a bundle and Snow took advantage of his slowness by putting him through the door and tubes with a pump-handle bomb.
He tried to flip Snow off so she stuck his middle finger in a mousetrap and punched him in the face. She then went one better and brought out a door covered in mouse traps and set up a bed of chairs but took too long and got dumped on the chairs with an Air Raid Crash. Cutter called for some fuckery to be set up outside and bludgeoned Snow with a broken door. The Orlando Death Squad got to work and built a Gingerbread House of the mouse trap door, a barbed-wire net, and a whole lot of light-tubes topped off with a ladder being set up on the stage. Cutter assaulted Snow with more tubes and headbutts, then tried to use the ladder as leverage for a move when Snow came back to life, punched Cutter off the ladder, and tossed him through the mass of fuckery below. She hopped down from the stage and quickly covered Cutter for the win. Snow had won her first deathmatch but Cutter had definitely left his mark by the end. Both were bloody messes, cut up by glass and barbed-wire. What a fucking match. Welcome to the world of blood and glass Lindsay Snow, please stick around a while. You need to stick more people with gussets.
John Wayne Murdoch vs Matthew Justice (w/Bill Alfonso) Ended in No Contest
— Rob (@HeyyImRob) December 14, 2020
So, if there was ever a match that had chaos written all over it, this would be it. John Wayne Murdoch, the ace of ICW taking on the one-man militia Matthew Justice in a match with no ring, no rules, and no boundaries. This was going to get messy fast. Fonzie lobbed plunder out for the pair and the fight begun. The pair started with a chair duel and Justice rained down chair shots on Murdoch’s back. The pair went back and forth on chair shots, then Justice sent the fight into the crowd with a Cactus Clothesline over the guardrail. He cracked Murdoch in the head with a fan’s drink, then the pair brawled around the bar area, bouncing off walls and doors in the process. The fight broke out into the street as the pair traded punches in the middle of a road, dodging cars and bystanders. Murdoch suplexed Justice onto the road and Justice threw Murdoch into the letterboxes of the building next door. Justice also bounced off the letterboxes, then dragged a dazed Murdoch back through the bar towards the fighting area. They continued to brawl amongst the crowd and continuously used the guardrail as a weapon whilst delivering more slugs and chops. Justice went for a second Cactus but Murdoch was ready and launched over the guardrail to the floor. Murdoch took the tubes to Justice and carved into his face with a jagged tube. He continued the tube-based assault with a tube headbutt and got thrown back-first into a ladder by Justice. He couldn’t catch his breath as Justice, then sandwiched him into the ladder with a Stinger Splash. He held on though and dropped Justice head-first on the ladder with an Exploder.
The gussets came out and Justice took full advantage stabbing one into the head and shoulder of Murdoch. Murdoch did the same and carved up Justice’s head with a meat fork. Justice snatched it off him and stuck it in Murdoch’s head, then the pair hit each other in the head with ice buckets. That descended to cheese grater chops (yes you read that right) and Justice grating into the face of Murdoch with manic glee. Murdoch tried for a roll-up and another chop fest broke out, this time with just their hands. Justice won the exchange and dropped Murdoch on the chairs and guardrail with a DVD. He sat Murdoch down again and stapled dollars to his head and knee, then tried for a stage dive but got nothing but chair and door as Murdoch dodged. Murdoch tried for a bundle cannonball but Justice dodged and Murdoch also crashed through a door. The pair had a broken door duel and Justice hit a chair home run with Murdoch’s head. Murdoch fired back and tried for the Deep South Destroyer but Fonzie hit him in the head with a bundle. Justice speared Murdoch through the guardrail, then set up a fuckery pile in the centre of the pit. They traded on the stage, then Murdoch hit the Deep South Destroyer through the pile. The fuckery pile was rebuilt and Murdoch took Justice to the stage again, then hit a second Destroyer. Both men were declared unable to compete and the match was brought to an end. This was probably the best possible result as one of them would have died before a three-count. What a mess, what fucking fun, and what ludicrous insanity was engaged in here. You might not like the finish but hey, that means the doors open for a rematch…
Alex Ocean defeated Bam Sullivan via Fire and Glass Falcon Arrow
— Rob (@HeyyImRob) December 14, 2020
After that insanity, the show looked to keep the peddle to the metal by giving us the Break Neck Kid Alex Ocean against the current Danny Havoc Hardcore Title Holder and H2O standout, Bam Sullivan. Neither man was going to back down here so once again blood was going to leak everywhere. This started with a tube duel and a heavy slugfest. Ocean set up a door and tried to throw Bam through it but Bam countered with a Russian Leg Sweep and both men spilled through it. We got another round of slugs, then Ocean kneed low and crashed U-tubes off Bam’s back, then carved into his head. Sullivan swung back with heavy hands and delved into a bucket of syringes and stabbed a pair into Ocean’s shoulders. Ocean bailed and got the fans to pull the syringes out, then kicked Bam in the balls and gave him the syringe to shoulder treatment, then stabbed one into his forehead. Sullivan struck back with another stiff forearm and set up another door on the stage, then emptied the bucket of syringes over it. As Bam spread the syringes out, Ocean hit a cutter out of nowhere and put Sullivan through it. Ocean beat down Bam with a broken door and set up another door in the pit, then put a ladder next to it. Bam rolled away so Ocean moved the ladder up to the stage and slotted tubes between the rungs. He came at Bam with a tube but Bam dazed him with a couple of enzuigiris and punt kicked a tube into Ocean’s face. They fought on the stage and Bam tripped Ocean through the tubes in the ladder, then took off his shirt, grabbed a couple of tubes, and put Ocean through a door with a tube cannonball. The pair threw more hands, then Ocean took another door to Sullivan and broke a tube into Sullivan’s temple with a back elbow. Bam found a sudden burst of energy and put Ocean through another door with a sit-out DVD and called for more fuckery when Ocean wouldn’t stay down. The Death Squad set up a contraption of glass and wood, then set it on fire as Sullivan hit Ocean in the back with a bundle. They fought over a Suplex and Ocean drove Sullivan through the contraption with a twisting Falcon Arrow. This was wild. A fuckery fest from start to finish with the final contraption setting Sullivan alight. It was an excellent finish to a rough and tumble match. Bring back Sullivan as he is a more than a valuable asset to your matches.
MASADA defeated Conor Claxton via Chair to Skewer Knee Strike
— Rob (@HeyyImRob) December 14, 2020
Last but not least, the main event. Originally meant to be a triple-threat but an unfortunate injury to Casanova Valentine meant we were going to see an old-school feud reignited as MASADA and Conor Claxton went to war. They started rough as the two traded shots, then MASADA dropped Claxton throat-first on the guardrail. He broke a record over Claxton and dodged a Claxton charge against the guardrail, watching as Claxton threw himself over the railing. They brawled around the bar and MASADA tried to drown Claxton with the mixer dispenser. The fight returned to the pit and MASADA struck Claxton in the back with a cinderblock. He threw Claxton down and broke a pair of cinderblocks on his back, then took part in another chop fest. Claxton broke a tube over MASADA and broke a tube field goal over him. He couldn’t capitalise though as MASADA attacked him with the Gladiator hammer from hell. He then tore skewers out of the hammer and stabbed them into Claxton’s mouth. The pair traded jabs and Claxton winded MASADA with a keg, then hit him with a face kick and double stomp. Claxton hit MASADA with a tube, then MASADA went one further and dumped Claxton on the stage and more tubes with a backdrop. He hammered Claxton with more tubes, then tried to choke him out but Claxton went to the eyes and hit MASADA with Muay Thai knees against the guardrail. Unfortunately for him though, MASADA tanked through and nearly threw him through the guardrail. He mauled Claxton with chair shots and uppercut him through a door. He pummelled Claxton with more uppercuts but Claxton caught him and drove him through a chair with a brainbuster.
MASADA kicked out so Claxton set up some more cinderblocks and laid MASADA on top of them. He climbed to the stage for a moonsault but MASADA moved and he crashed into a chair. MASADA beat him with another door and placed it on the blocks. He dragged Claxton onto the door, winded him with a chair, and climbed the stage himself, only to get pelted by a chair and the pair slugged it out again. Claxton hammered down MASADA and tried to Suplex him through the door but MASADA kicked him in the dick and MASADA gave him the skewers. He then put Claxton through the door with a hip toss and stabbed him with a second set of skewers. He disappeared off camera and came back with a whole fucking bucket of skewers and systematically stabbed more and more into Claxton’s head. He then downed him with a chair to the knee and blasted the chair into Claxton’s face, sending skewers flying everywhere. That was that. MASADA claimed another nasty win and did so in absolutely brutal fashion. These two put on an excellent old-school fight and the sheer amount of skewers Claxton had in his head was ungodly. This fucking ruled and was an excellent way to finish the show. Well, it would have been…
— Atticus Cogar (@Atticus_Cogar) December 16, 2020
The celebrations were cut short as everyone’s favourite green-clad goons came out. Rickey Shane Page and Atticus Cogar were here and they made their presence felt. Cogar skewered MASADA and RSP recited the fact the pair had never fought and weren’t going to. Cogar called him out and challenged him to a match at GCW. They then left with MASADA clutching his head with a massive pile of green skewers sticking out of his skull. Thus, ended one of my favourite shows of the year. It was top to bottom fun with excellent matches, fresh debuts, and a whole host of insane fuckery. No peace took the latter half of 2020 by storm and I look forward to seeing them flourish further into 2021. With or without the green goons blessing. We need more deathmatch kaiju, more Bam Sullivan, and a whole host of violent bar action for the future. Long live fucking No Peace.
— Rob (@HeyyImRob) December 14, 2020