WARNING STRONG VIOLENCE AND LANGUAGE AHEAD

Welcome back to No Peace Underground. The Florida bar-based no-ring deathmatch extravaganza is back in town for their first show of 2021, Memento Mori. On this deadly card, we’ll see the newest battles from the 44OH! war, the return of the deathmatch beast Parrow, an open challenge from John Wayne Murdoch, Bam Sullivan defending his H2O Danny Havoc Hardcore Title against Orin Veidt, and more! It was going to get bloody and violent, so let’s get into the action!

Parrow defeated Brandon Kirk (w/Kasey Kirk) via Fire Thunder Driver

First up was a match that could best be described as feeding an all be it experienced lamb, to the slaughter. Brandon Kirk may be a damn good wrestler but Parrow is an unstoppable monster. He might have his wife by his side but could she really tip the scales against Parrow’s raw strength? The answer, yes. She came out ahead of Kirk and threw powder in the eyes of the bear. Brandon came up behind him and broke tubes over him before the pair worked together to throw him into a giant construction sign. He broke another tube across Parrow’s head and smashed a bundle across his back. Kasey set up some chairs in the pit area as Brandon carved up Parrow’s forehead and watched in horror as Parrow Suplexed Brandon onto the glassy stage. He tossed Kirk right through the chairs and avalanched him against the guardrail. Parrow dragged a winded Kirk to a tube-covered pallet and chokeslammed him onto it, then crushed him into it further with a senton. Kasey returned and jumped on Parrow’s back, allowing Brandon to pelt him with a chair and hit a ripcord lariat. Kasey set up an EFFY branded door as Parrow and Brandon tried to slap the shit out of each other. Parrow sent Kirk reeling into the crowd so Kirk cracked him in the head with a beer and nailed a cutter for a two-count. Parrow played possum as the Kirks added tubes to the door and lobbed a beer into Brandon’s head. He powerbombed Brandon through the door and powerbombed his wife on top of him before throwing her into the crowd. He gave Brandon one final chair shot and dropped him with the Fire Thunder Driver for the win. The Deathmatch Bear had made it through another opponent and came away bleeding buckets. No one seems able to stop Parrow, no matter the numbers, but Brandon and Kasey Kirk definitely gave Parrow a harder time than some. What an opening match.

Four-Way Fuckery-Fest: Alex Ocean defeated AKIRA, Nolan Edward & Reed Bentley via 2K1 Bomb to Edward

Second up was going to be an absolute monster of a match. Four of deathmatches’ best and brightest were clashing in a four-way bout of utter fuckery. Would it be the No Peace favourite Alex Ocean, the Rejects’ AKIRA, and Reed Bentley, or the No Flinch master Nolan Edward taking away a win in this clusterfuck? It started with a three on one attack as everyone beat down Ocean and took him out with a bundle headbutt. Bentley continued to keep Ocean down as AKIRA and Edward went into a friendly strike fight. Edward chopped AKIRA so hard the feed cut for a couple of seconds and Bentley took a seat to enjoy the show. AKIRA fired back with Kawada kicks and launched Edward into the guardrail. Bentley put his feet up so AKIRA threw Edward into them and both went to work on Ocean with an Exalted door. AKIRA pelted Bentley with a chair and kicked it out with Edward before crushing him against the stage with a step-up cannonball. Ocean brought out the tubes and attacked them all with tube headbutts. He didn’t stop there as he crushed Edward’s balls with a chair on chair shot but he was snuffed out again by Edward throwing a gusset at him and Bentley rushing to use it. Meanwhile, Edward lawn-darted AKIRA into the wall and Bentley tried to impale a tube into his shoulder. He ignored AKIRA and continued to punish Ocean and Edward with tubes and a gusset chop into the chest of Edward. He finally turned his attention to AKIRA and gave him a gusset chop and tube to the head. He unloaded an unholy barrage of tube shots onto his Reject brother and started forearming him but AKIRA caught his arm and threw him into a post.

He cut up Bentley with a tube as Edward reappeared to pelt him with tubes. Edward had dispatched AKIRA and looked to turn his attention to Bentley when Ocean cracked him in the head with a tube buster sword. AKIRA kicked Ocean away and Tiger Bombed him onto the sword’s remains, then locked a Kimura lock in on Edward. Bentley crept behind him like a slasher movie killer and beat him senseless with a carpet-strip bundle and struck it out with Edward. A four-way slugfest broke out until the Rejects worked together again. Bentley used AKIRA as a battering ram to kick the pair off the stage and tried to throw him with a Regal-plex but tripped and everyone fell to the pit. Nolan put Bentley through a door with a Cobra Clutch Slam and jumped up to slug it out with Ocean as a barbed-wire net was brought out. A glass pane was added to the net and Ocean got the win by driving Edward into the net with a 2K1 bomb. This was as chaotic as you’d expect whilst also being incredibly enjoyable. Everyone got their moments to shine and as always, Ocean won with the most batshit spot of the match.

H2O Danny Havoc Hardcore Title: Bam Sullivan defeated Orin Veidt via Balcony Fall

We went from one chaotic match to the next as Bam Sullivan defended his H2O Danny Havoc Hardcore Title on enemy turf. His first outing in No Peace was unsuccessful but this time he was looking to fix that by putting his title on the line against the Wizard King Orin Veidt. I should also mention SHLAK was now on commentary duties alongside Drennan. They started technically but that got no ovation so Veidt broke the first tube on Sullivan and after a tube duel, carved up Sullivan’s head for a Muta Lock. Veidt broke a no-selling tube and tried for a wheelbarrow on Sullivan but got thrown off the stage and through a door with an arm-drag. Sullivan grabbed more tubes and dived onto Veidt with a glass-shatter tope. He went on a gusset hunt but took too long and got his head caved in by a broken door. He continued to brutalise Sullivan with a gusset into the chest and a butcher knife to the head. Bam smacked back and gave Veidt the gusset to chest treatment back. They traded chops, then Veidt went back to the tubes. He came at Sullivan with more but Sullivan forearmed them into Veidt’s head. They both brought out saw boards and Sullivan sent Veidt flying through one with a back-body drop. Veidt lay on the board in pain and suckered in Sullivan so he could kick him onto the other board. Veidt kept cutting up Sullivan’s body with a loose saw and went back to bludgeoning him with the broken door. He broke more tubes on Bam and went for a tube tower. He dragged Bam up to the stage and tossed him through one of the towers, then looked to do the same again but Bam was having none of it and whipped Veidt into the second tower. He dumped Veidt on a door with a Falcon Arrow and went looking for more plunder.

They chopped it out in front of a pane of glass and Veidt put Bam through it with Cradle Shock for a one-count. Veidt went crazy and called out the Death Squad to put something together. A stairway to hell was set up like a ladder and platform of fuckery were brought out. He kept Sullivan down during the construction phase with Total Anarchy through a door and dragged Bam to the balcony. They traded on the edge and both fell to a horrific landing off the balcony. Sullivan capitalised by pinning Veidt and the match was won. This was great to watch but that ending was fucking horrifying. The fuckery did not play nice but both guys made the best of it. Excellent match mildly overshadowed by a horrific ending.

John Wayne Murdoch Open Challenge: John Wayne Murdoch defeated Lord Crewe & Neil Diamond Cutter via Fuckery Pile Brainbuster on Cutter

After some clean-up, we got our next match. John Wayne Murdoch had issued an open challenge which was answered by not one but two fighters, Lord Crewe and Neil Diamond Cutter. A win against the Duke could be massive for either man but what would they have to do to get it? It started wild as no one played the friend’s game and Crewe has a tube ground into his head. Murdoch gave Cutter a tube shot and tried to drive him into a mousetrap door. Crewe interrupted with more tubes and kicked Murdoch in the head against the guardrail. Murdoch dumped him through the mousetrap door and more tubes broke over Crewe and Murdoch. Cutter attacked Murdoch with a gusset and Murdoch set up a pane, then threw Crewe into the crowd. Cutter and Murdoch fought around the glass until Murdoch stunned Cutter and dumped both of them through the pane with a Russian Leg Sweep. Crewe tried to take advantage of the carnage and gusseted Cutter but the Honey Badger hit low and gave him a gusset too. He then pelted Murdoch with a chair and drove him through a door. Everything was coming up Cutter as he assaulted both with tubes but his door broke and Murdoch woke up to beat everyone with another door. Crewe stopped the swinging with another chair so Murdoch cut him up with a pair of knives. He stabbed up Cutter and sliced up Crewe’s forehead like Sashimi. Cutter got him off Crewe with a mousetrap to the ear and gave Crewe one to the tongue. A tube door was set up and Crewe speared Cutter and Murdoch through another door with a double spear. A three-way fist-fight broke out and Crewe knocked away Cutter and put Murdoch through the tube door with a Twisting Suplex. Cutter came back with a tube cutter on Crewe and went smack happy on both opponents with a door. He buried Murdoch under plunder and climbed to the stage but Murdoch dragged him down and won the match with a fuckery pile Brainbuster. Once again, an excellent multi-man match here with no one being a weak link. Everyone brought it and the Duke had to fight hard to get his win though honestly, everyone won here. Plus, we had a funny encounter of Bill Alfonso trying to smack talk the Rejects.

Atticus Cogar defeated Shane Mercer via Nun-chuck Brain Haemorrhage through a door

Well, this is quite the mismatch eh? Atticus Cogar, the new age skewer Fiend was taking on the Iron Demon Shane Mercer. Cogar might have the deathmatch experience edge but Mercer is a monster of raw power. It was impossible to tell which side would come out on top. Mercer tried to start hot with his nun-chuck but Cogar dodged and pelted him with a bundle. Mercer no-sold it and tried to throw Cogar off the stage but Cogar chomped down on his head and threw him into the wall. Cogar tried to mash him in with a chair but once again, it had no effect and Mercer slugged him in the face and cracked him in the head with a record. He frisbeed it into Cogar’s gut and launched him off the stage into the guardrail. Mercer pelted a chair at Cogar and Gorilla Press lawn-darted him into the crowd. He continued to use the chair and elbowed Cogar against the bar wall. Cogar came back with more chair shots and skewered Mercer’s arm. Mercer shook this off and drove Cogar through a door with Asmodeus’ Wrath. He dragged out another bundle and tossed Cogar back over the guardrail, then stuck the bundle in Cogar’s suspenders and slammed him against the wall, breaking the bundle and Cogar before dumping him gut first on the guardrail. They returned to the stage and Mercer had a tube X brought out. He broke a bundle into Cogar with his nun-chuck and launched Cogar through the X with a Gorilla Press. Cogar kicked it out, so he set up another door and retrieved a huge pane of glass, but Cogar had recovered and broke the pane with the nun-chuck and drove Mercer through the door with the Brain Haemorrhage. Cogar had just managed to get the win here as Mercer had been a dominant force. It had taken a face plant into wood and metal to get the win but it had come at a cost. The crowd was pissed but Cogar left with a silver-teethed shit-eating grin on his face. Fuck 44OH! count: 1

Rickey Shane Page vs MASADA ends in No Contest

Last but not least, the main event. Rickey Shane Page was taking part in the match that had never happened against deathmatch veteran MASADA. He didn’t consider MASADA a threat and was mostly taking on the match so he could soften up the master of skewers for his protégé, Atticus Cogar. Well, he would have but MASADA jumped Cogar before the main event even started as Cogar was trying to call him out by skewering Mercer post-match. MASADA was trying to skewer Cogar when RSP appeared and pelted him with a chair. The fight spilt to the pit and MASADA smashed the chair into RSP’s back. RSP fought free and dropped MASADA across an open chair with a neck and backbreaker since it fucked up both parts of MASADA. RSP continued to focus on the back, crushing it under a broken door. MASADA booted the open chair into RSP and the pair took the fight to the stage for some technical exchanges. RSP kneed MASADA back to the floor and set up more chairs, doors and hit MASADA with more of both. MASADA came back with keyboard shots and tried to garrotte RSP but RSP fired back with a shot from a cake tray. MASADA shook that off and kicked low, then drove RSP through a door with a hip toss. He tried to skewer RSP but Page broke free and snapped the skewers in half. MASADA hated this and booted another chair into RSP and dropped him on the chair pile with a Tornado DDT. RSP kicked out so MASADA speared him through a door, then put him through a second with a DVD. We were about to get the divine skewering when Cogar interfered. 44OH! looked to end MASADA but Ocean came out to even the odds and scared the green goons away. The match was ruled a no-contest with MASADA standing tall and 44OH! vanishing into the night. Whilst this may not have played like the usual No Peace main event, it built nicely, worked well, and offered a history-making bout with RSP’s villainous touches all over it. I can’t find anything to complain about. Fuck 44OH! count: 2

So, there you have it, No Peace Underground’s Memento Mori reviewed for your reading pleasure. It was an exceptional show with some scary spots and nasty misfires, but overall, the match quality was high, fuckery was abundant, and the usual suspects were putting on nice matches with new faces. 44OH! haunted the main event and may have screwed the crowd out of a history-maker but how can that not be credited as being the most 44OH! thing in existence. No Peace continues to be one of my favourite promotions to review and I look forward to seeing what they do at Ankou, their first show with a ring and a fucking barnburner of a card.

All images courtesy of No Peace Twitter, Drew Russ, HeyyImRob