WARNING: STRONG VIOLENCE AHEAD
I’ve made it no secret that I love the world of no-ring deathmatches. From Casanova Valentine’s exploits to No Peace Underground’s barroom of doom. Now, I present another company of deathmatch excellence providing a no-ring experience in the COVID era. Timebomb has gone under the radar since its conception in 2018 but, make no mistake, it has put on some absolute bangers when it comes to matches. Since the company is about 4 days out from its next show, it’s time for a taster of what the company is capable of so here is As Real as It Gets from the start of the year where all matches were fought under no-ring no rules, let’s get into the action.
Dominic Garrini defeated 1 Called Manders via Crucifix Elbow Barrage
First up was something without copious amounts of weaponry. Manders vs Dominic Garrini with no-ring and no rules, just pure violence. Both guys hit hard and Garrini can put you to sleep or break a limb in seconds. This was going to be one hell of a throwdown. They opened with stiff chops where Manders seemed to warm up off them whilst Garrini did not. Garrini switched things up and smashed Manders in the face with a forearm. Manders hit back even harder and the pair slugged around the set. Garrini switched things up again and winded Manders with hard chest kicks, then one to the back for good measure. He started trying to grapple Manders on the mat but Manders broke free and stomped down Garrini. He put Garrini in a sleeper so Garrini picked an ankle and stomped in his chest. He slithered around Mander’s limbs until deciding on a kneebar. Manders kicked free again and lit up Garrini with more stiff strikes and kicks. Garrini trapped him in a Guillotine but once again Manders overpowered it and smashed him in the chest. Manders floored him with front and back lariats but only got a two. He tried to muscle Garrini into the Oklahoma Stampede but Garrini reversed into a crucifix elbow barrage and knocked-out Manders. It was short and sweet with the acoustics in the building letting you hear and feel every sickening blow. Garrini murdered Manders with those elbows after taking a slew of horrific strikes. What a fun way to open.
The Carver of Cutter’s Alley defeated Damien Saint via Hangman’s Chain
Finally, a get my first experience of The Carver. Wrestling’s biggest serial killer was out for another victim and Timebomb would provide in the form of The Heretic Damien Saint. This was not going to be for the faint of heart. What a way to make a debut for the company by being cut up by the Carver. Saint showed he wasn’t intimidated by rolling under a charge and flipping off the Carver. The Carver wanted to be hit so Saint lit him up with chops before eating a sickening headbutt. Carver mauled him and locked in a Camel Clutch whilst swinging into Saint’s face. He went for a toy and stabbed a meat hook into Saint’s mouth. Saint tried to elbow back but Carver cut this comeback off with an elbow of his own and thudded him back to the floor. Carver dug into his face and pelted him with a chair. Saint launched another offensive with the chair and smashed a 2×4 across Carver’s chest. He continued to attack with a sole-butt kick and took out Carver’s knee for a running clothesline/knee. Carver felt none of this and grabbed Saint by the head as he sat up and bounced Saint off a wall. Carver grabbed a chain and wrapped it around one of the rafters, then pummelled Saint into submission and tied the chain around Saint’s throat. Carver raised the chain and choked the life out of Saint until everyone rushed to stop him. Saint was out and a TKO was called. The Carver had claimed another victim and taken the snuff film aspect of Timebomb’s presentation to a whole new level. This was awesome and I need more of The Carver now. Not to mention Saint was a riot in trying to rundown the unflinching psychopath.
Ricky Noren defeated Neil Diamond Cutter via Glass Pile STF
Ever wondered if deathmatch wrestling is art? Well, Gallery Ready Ricky Noren is most definitely an artist where blood is his paint, flesh is his canvas and weaponry are his paintbrushes. He was about to make a masterpiece out of Neil Diamond Cutter in Timebomb’s studio of doom. Noren even held the show at ransom until the extended version of his entrance music played properly. Cutter started by insulting Noren’s art and the pair broke vinyl records over each other. Cutter took advantage and stapled Noren’s hat to his head. Noren escaped further stapling and hammered Cutter to the mat before stapling a dollar to Cutter’s ear and a second to his tongue. Don’t worry, Noren is a licensed piercer, this is all fine. Noren brought out oversized gussets and Cutter slapped one off his head. Noren hammered the same plate into Cutter’s head and set up some chairs so the pair could have a Twisted Tea™ barfight. The pair traded punches then took a swig and smashed each other in the head with the cans. Cutter collapsed so Noren punched him in the head and tried to lock on a choke so Cutter jabbed him in the eyes. He pelted Noren with chairs whilst wishing him a happy new year and broke a bundle over his head. The step-up bundle senton followed but he couldn’t follow up as Noren struck him in the throat and choke-threw him onto another bundle. He took another swig of Twisted Tea™ as commentary came up with a bevvy of deathmatch-themed artist nicknames and introduced the can to Cutter’s head and poured it into his wounds. He broke a chair and Cutter’s back with a sidewalk slam and put Cutter’s tongue in a mousetrap. Cutter avoided bundle-shaped doom and applied the mousetrap to Noren’s ear, then headbutted that bundle into Noren. He followed with a Cutter into the glass pile but only got two. Cutter set up a glass pane as Noren begged them to cut the stream. Cutter didn’t approve of this and smashed another can off his head. The two traded more punches and Noren caught Cutter into an STO to send him through the pane. Cutter kicked out so Noren locked in an STF amongst the glass and tapped Cutter out. This rocked. Both guys beat the hell out of each other with a nice mix of plunder, fists, and verbal barbs. This was definitely violent art and fun as hell to watch.
Timebomb Heavyweight Title: Orin Veidt defeated Damon Spriggle via Super Bundle Cradle Shock
Last but not least, the main event. The Timebomb Heavyweight title was on the line as Orin Veidt was all set to defend it against wrestling’s “most humble”, Damon Spriggle. This was going to get messy as The Wizard King very rarely knows how to quit, especially when he has a ton of glass to play with. They started with a tube duel and Veidt made Spriggle pay for not committing by breaking both tubes over him. He carved up Spriggle with a broken tube and ate a barrage of Kawada kicks from Spriggle. Veidt chopped a gusset into Spriggle’s chest and set up tubes. Spriggle took out Veidt’s knee with a tube and kicked a bundle into his chest. He took a gusset to Veidt’s chest and knocked him down with another chop to choke him out with a belt. Veidt struck back and powerslammed Spriggle through a board. He had a go at choking Spriggle with the belt and the pair headbutted tubes into each other. They slugged it out and Spriggle broke another tube into Veidt with a cyclone elbow. This seemed to do more damage to him than Veidt as Veidt recovered first and broke another tube over his back, then gave him a tube unicorn horn. The Veidt knife board made its appearance and Spriggle sent Veidt onto it with a Dragon Screw. The ref threw that knife board aside so Spriggle grabbed a second knife board and got dragged into a backbreaking submission. When Spriggle wouldn’t tap, Veidt just dumped him onto the board. He took a knife to Spriggle’s head and tried to take more tubes to him. Spriggle powered up and smashed the tubes into Veidt with a lariat and set up a glass pane as Veidt writhed on the floor. The pane wouldn’t behave so Veidt recovered and broke another tube over Spriggle’s head. Spriggle did the same and the pair fought around the glass pane. Veidt won the exchange and just launched Spriggle through the pane. That got a one-count and the two chopped it out. Spriggle downed Veidt with a forearm and set-up another pane, putting Veidt it with a Tiger Driver. Spriggle set up a super bundle but Veidt was playing possum, pelted him with a tube block, and won the match with Cradle Shock through the super bundle.
This was insane. It was a glass-filled bloodbath with Spriggle really showing he could go against Orin Veidt. He earned Veidt’s respect and goddamn I will not deny the guy can work. This was a fun match with so much blood and glass. it had moments where the plunder didn’t want to work but they overcame them and continuously upped the ante. Post-match, Dominic Garrini came out to mock Orin Veidt setting up the main event for Sunday’s show. You can watch this full show on YouTube now and check out Here to Stay on Sunday, March 28. Also, if you want to support the company, they’ve got a donation link set up ahead of Sunday’s show here. This company kicks ass, see you Sunday.
All images courtesy of Timebomb Pro, Ben Hoos, Video courtesy of Timebomb YouTube