WARNING: STRONG VIOLENCE AND LANGUAGE AHEAD
Welcome back to Deathmatch Downunder. It’s tournament time as the company prepares to show the full extent of its heavyweight talent. This was a title for all the fighters, strong-style enthusiasts, high-flyers, submission specialists, and divas as some of the best in Australia and New Zealand collided for a shot at history. 16 fighters would battle across two nights for the honour of being the first DMDU Heavyweight Champion. For night one, we’d see all the round 1 matches and a six-man deathmatch seeing Callen Butcher team with Mad Dog and Vixsin against The International Violence Connection. Let’s see who progressed and who was beaten and get into the action!
Round-One Match: Charli Evans defeated Sammy Falcon via Lariat
The opening match of the show went to the incredibly hated Sammy Falcon of RB4K and one of DMDU’s favourites in the Violence Artist Charli Evans. This was Falcon’s first fight in DMDU, could he score an upset and take out one of the tournament favourites? Rocking the Misawa green, Evans cut off Falcon’s early speed by tying him in a knot. Falcon tried to match the technicality but got flustered as Evans escaped right before his eyes. They locked up and Evans backed Falcon into the ropes. He asked for a clean break, she accepted, so he bitchslapped her. Big mistake. That pissed Evans off and she beat the shit out of him in the corner. She set up for a face wash but the ref slowed her down and Falcon countered with a superkick. Falcon tried for quick covers and mockingly kicked Evans, inadvertently firing her up and receiving a barrage of stiff forearms for his trouble. Falcon regrouped and quickly cut off the onslaught with a jumping knee. He spent too much time jaw-jacking with the crowd and gave Evans time to dodge a corner charge. She used the impact to hit a schoolboy knee strike into a bridging Fisherman’s Suplex for a two-count. Falcon elbowed free of a Saito but Evans superkicked his jaw into the back row and nailed the face wash. Falcon came back hard with a Complete Shot and Famouser but could only get two again. He stomped down Evans and once again verbally abused the crowd, getting nothing but boos back. Evans struck back but Falcon put this down with a Snap Suplex. That only got two, as did the Samoan Driver that followed it. He ate shit missing a moonsault and Evans quickly killed him off with a Saito and lariat for the win. This had been one hell of a vicious opening contest with Evans cleverly staying resilient and using Falcon’s own ego against him. What a belter to start things off.
Round-One Match: JXT (w/FOX) defeated Candy Lee via Leverage Pin
Okay, this might be the best matchup in history. Candy Lee, the new generation Kelly Kelly, was about to take on JXT in a match. These two can fight and they can talk and it was going to be fun to see what antics they got up to. The only sad thing is, this would automatically boot one of them in round one. Security had to intervene before the action could start because FOX was going to take a shit in the ring for being left out of the tournament. He was dragged away and with that ugliness aside, we could see the battle of the divas. JXT won their first lock-up by pulling Lee’s hair so she responded by just lobbing him across the ring. Lee continued to smack JXT around and put him on his ass with a Rear View. JXT dodged the Hershey Kiss (as commentary called it) by bailing outside and took his time returning so Lee just threw him in over the ropes. She nailed JXT with the X-Factor but missed the split leg drop and got kicked in the face for it. JXT beat Lee between the corners and went for his own Stinkface, only to get kicked away by Lee. She wasn’t getting hit by such an ugly move. She downed JXT with a lariat/spinning leg lariat combo and blasted him with a hip attack into the Hershey Kiss, adding extra twerking for good measure. A bulldog followed and Lee nailed the diving Split Drop but that shit FOX had returned and dragged the ref away. Lee was distracted and JXT pulled her into a leverage pin for the win. JXT had just stolen the win and taken the prettiest competitor in the tournament out of action. Lee had whooped his ass but sadly the numbers had taken over and she had been eliminated. Hopefully, it isn’t the last we see of Lee in DMDU.
Round-One Match: Ritchie Taylor defeated Rochelle Rogue via Roaring Elbow
Who’s ready to see some Smash-Mouth? Ritchie Taylor was up and he was about to shake off his losses to ascend the tournament ranks. The first person in his way, the Rogue Warrior Rochelle Rogue. The Pirate was ready to show Taylor how to fight like a girl. We got some opening sportsmanship and the pair went into a nice technical exchange as Rogue nearly took the win with a backslide. Rogue took control with forearms and a corner hip attack before scoring another near-fall with a Bridging Suplex. Rogue nailed him with a running elbow drop but couldn’t keep him down and took a punch to the mouth for it. He started popping off stiff strikes and kicks, hurting his own hand when chopping her. He continued to wear her down with nasty strikes and applied a chin-lock. Rogue escaped and fired the cannons at Taylor with a barrage of chops and forearms but he ducked a clothesline and hit her with a Southern Lariat. Taylor got too comfortable playing to the crowd and Rogue dumped him with a Black Widow style breaker. He fought out of the Blood Oath and in the confusion, Rogue charged, running right into a roaring elbow. Taylor got the three-count and progresses to the next round. Rogue had put up a good fight but once Taylor gets fired up, it’s difficult to stop him. They’d put on a smash-mouth sprint that just saw two tough fighters tee off on each other.
Round-One Match: Tyson Baxter defeated Chanel Phoenix via Kneebar
Now, this was an interesting match-up. We’ve seen what Fever Pitch Tyson Baxter is capable of. He has a wide array of tools at his disposal but how would these fare against the MMA training of Chanel Phoenix? Could the Threat derail Baxter’s momentum? Baxter wasted no time and punt-kicked her in the face during introductions. He went right for her in the corner but Phoenix struck back hard and launched him with a head-scissor. Baxter bailed and Phoenix followed with an apron crossbody. Baxter went to the ropes to avoid a German and elbowed free, turning the tables and tying Phoenix’s hair around the middle rope. He attacked her as she was trapped and freed her with a running uppercut. The methodical mauling continued as Baxter scraped the face and twisted up an arm. Every time Phoenix tried to fight back, Baxter had an answer for it, scoring another near-fall with a Vertical Suplex. When that failed, he used his knee brace to break her fingers. He locked on a surfboard stretch and used Phoenix’s braids for extra leverage, seemingly trying to best JXT in the number of dirty tricks used in one match. Phoenix answered back with stiff elbows but Baxter grabbed the braids again and blasted her with an elbow to the back of the head into a neckbreaker. Phoenix powered up again on chops and dropped Baxter on his head with a German. She ran the ropes and smashed Baxter’s face in with a running knee. She tried for a DVD on the apron but Baxter escaped and snapped her knee in the ropes. The Kneebar quickly followed and Phoenix had no choice to tap out. Holy shit has Baxter got a mean streak. I knew he could get aggressive but this was downright dirty, I’m impressed. This managed to be something totally different to what we’ve seen so far.
Round-One Match: Jessica Troy defeated Punch-Drunk AJ Istria via Armbreaker Roll-up
Time for something completely different. Punch-Drunk AJ Istria was about to go to war with the Arm Collector Jessica Troy. Both of these fighters would happily break your arm and smack you in the head with it but only one could claim that round two spot. As expected, the pair opened with a battle of wrist control and moved onto other limbs as the pair played catch with Catch Wrestling. Istria went back after the arm with a Roman Knuckle lock and Troy had to use the ropes to escape. Istria endeared himself to the fans and the pair teed off on each other in the corner. Istria tried to attack from behind using the ref but Troy knocked him into the ropes and clotheslined him to the floor. He tried to take a breather but Troy flew out after him and took him out with a tope. The problem is, she clipped her knee on the landing. Istria noticed the injury and mockingly attacked Troy outside, playing every second he felt like of the count. Once they were back in the ring, Troy was able to move again and took out Istria with a Hurricanrana. Troy went limb-twisting crazy and trapped Istria in the rowboat. Istria muscled out of an armbar so Troy assaulted him with corner elbows and Istria bounced her off the corner for a Belly to Belly. It was his turn to try breaking an arm and tried to stomp a shoulder but Troy rolled him up. She tried again with a Crucifix but Istria cut off any other attempts with punches into a Gamenguri. He kept applying pressure to Troy’s arm and Troy escaped a Suplex into an arm-wringing slam.
Both fighters had destroyed arms and Istria made it worse with a hanging arm breaker. He climbed to the top rope but Troy met him up there and snapped his arm over the buckle before bringing him crashing down with a Superplex. Both fighters struggled up and slugged it out as Troy unloaded shot after shot only to get cut off with a back fist into Kawada Kicks. Troy caught his boot and trapped him for an arm-trapped backdrop. She tripped Istria into the turnbuckle and crushed his head with double knees. She kicked his head off through the ropes and drove him face-first into the mat with a Meteora. The pace picked up as both fighters grew more frantic and Istria landed his second shoulder breaker of the match. He slammed Troy into the mat with a twisting butterfly slam but still couldn’t keep her down. Istria got mean and snapped the arm again before trying another underhook slam but Troy turned it into an arm drag. Troy hit La Mistica but Istria was able to power out into a Guillotine. The pair went counter hold for counter hold with neither being able to finish the other. Istria locked in an arm breaker off an O’Connor Roll but Troy rolled him up in it and took the win. Troy had overcome Istria and all the arm damage to progress to round 2. The pair had just had the match of the tournament so far and both had to have had mangled arms by the end of it. This was just incredible and a must-watch from the show.
Six-and-Out Deathmatch: Callen Butcher, Mad Dog & Vixsin defeated Gweedo, Damian Rivers & York via Butcher Drop on Gweedo
Time to get fucking violent. You’ve heard of a Homerun Derby, now prepare for a Six-and-Out Deathmatch. The cricket variant of this bludgeoning deathmatch. Callen Butcher was teaming with the veterans of the game Vixsin and Mad Dog against his night 2 opponent and arch-nemesis, Gweedo, and the International Violence Connection. There were no introductions as both teams went right to it and pummelled the hell out of each other. Vixsin crushed one of the fuckery bats into Rivers and Gweedo carved Mad Dog and Vixsin up with his shiv. Mad Dog tried to submit Gweedo with a gusset bat head-scissor but York flattened him with a senton. We saw Team Butcher hit a triple-team Suplex and the action spilt everywhere as Gweedo bit into Vixsin and York battled Butcher. A bat disintegrated in York’s hands and his attempt to use another failed when Butcher smashed a fork bat into his back. He tagged out and Rivers blasted Butcher in the balls. He cut up Butcher with a pizza cutter and Butcher threw him into carpet strip wickets. Vixsin tagged in and was met by a cacti-covered cricket bat and another covered in cheese graters, carving up her shoulder like a block of cheddar. Vixsin overpowered Rivers and brought the graters down onto his head. They downed each other with clotheslines and both tagged. Gweedo and Mad Dog charged as Mad Dog took out Gweedo with a spinning heel kick and headbutted him rabidly.
Gweedo broke the technicality with a tack bat to the head but this had no effect and Mad Dog flattened him and more fuckery with a diving leg drop. York interfered and the Connection all locked on submissions. They fought up and Vixsin splashed Rivers through a door. York did the same to Mad Dog with a cannonball but took himself out in the process. That left Butcher and Gweedo. Butcher gave him a guitar to the head New Jack Style and ended things with a Spinning Angle Slam, a Butcher Drop if you will. That gave Butcher another win over his opponent going into the San Jose Glass Crush. These two teams had pummelled the fuck out of each other but once again Butcher and co were left standing strong. Night 2 is going to get violent as you know Gweedo has to be seething. Speaking of death, we got the announcement of D.R.E.A.M or Death Rules Everything Around Me, DMDU’s first deathmatch tournament coming August 21st. That is going to be insane.
Round-One Match: Royce Chambers defeated Edward Dusk via Spinal Tap
Back to tournament action now as The Airbender Royce Chambers took on the devious Edward Dusk. We know how brash and cocky Chambers can get, would this come back to bite him in the ass here? They opened with rapid technicality and rope-running as Chambers stunned Dusk with a takeover. Chambers knocked Dusk outside with a flip-up kick but couldn’t hit an Asai Moonsault as Dusk dodged and attacked outside. Chambers met the guardrail and Dusk whipped him over it into the second row. He rolled back in to take the count-out but grew impatient and went back out to attack. Chambers hit back and Dusk sent him back into the ring with a chop for a twisting neckbreaker. Dusk shit-talked as he threw Chambers around the ring but wasn’t ready for an explosive double stomp and PK. Chambers kept the fire burning with a Sasuke Cannonball and hit a springboard corkscrew over the ropes. The two went into another fast-paced counter chain as Dusk tried to kill Chambers with a snap German. Dusk initiated a strike-off and went for heavy kicks, Dusk aiming low and cracking Chambers in the bollocks. Chambers did the same and both guys went back to counter kills. Dusk hit Chambers with the Hanged Man but somehow only got two. Chambers avoided death and nailed Dusk with a flipping kick and hit the Chambers special to the outside. The Spiral Tap followed and Royce Chambers punched his ticket to round 2. This had been an intense little match with Chambers having to overcome a supremely sinister opponent. I really want to see more from Dusk in the future.
Round-One Match: Caveman Ugg defeated Jake Taylor via Fire Thunder Driver
Well, this was an inspired match-up, we had the Bone Collector and Fale Dojo Graduate Jake Taylor doing battle with Caveman Ugg, the man who collects bones to use as tools. Both of these guys are heavy hitters so we were in for a pretty even contest. They opened with a lock-up, reached a stalemate, and started a shoving contest. Neither man could score a knockdown so Ugg took to the air with a crossbody. They slugged it out and Taylor took advantage with a knee into a series of corner charges. Ugg followed him into the corner to hit a Monkey Flip and went back on the beatdown, hitting Taylor with a sickening headbutt. Taylor launched Ugg with a back body drop and the pair traded blistering chops. Ugg took out Taylor with a combo but couldn’t capitalise as Taylor was right back up for a double clothesline. Ugg kept clubbing away but Taylor dropped him with a swinging uranage. Taylor fired up and ran right into the boulder smasher stomp. Ugg tried for Splash Mountain but Taylor wriggled free and slammed him into the mat again. Taylor climbed to the top for a crossbody but Ugg caught Taylor out of the air and snuffed him out with a Fire Thunder Driver. Taylor has majorly stood up to Ugg and taking the welts for doing so. He’d shown out here but it just wasn’t enough to best the creative Caveman.
Round-One Match: Tommy Knight defeated GORE (W/KrackerJak) via Brainbuster
Last but not least, the main event. Tommy Knight, the Prodigy was about to tear up the ring with the Snuff King, the Snuff Porn Extraordinaire, GORE. Knight is a big man with a whole ton of power but could he handle GORE’s technique and more specifically, KrackerJak lurking on the outside? KrackerJak gave another rousing promo decrying everything going on and threatened to kick Jess the Ref should dislike what she does. When the bell rang, they scrambled into a technical war. GORE and Knight grappled around the ring showing off the wealth of skills they’d accumulated. GORE went for a quick heel hook and went to it again when Knight escaped. Knight put the block on a third attempt and dumped GORE with a Wheelbarrow Suplex. Knight took control and hammered down GORE, prepping for a clothesline when KrackerJak grabbed his leg. GORE used the distraction to hit a fallaway slam and demanded a fight from Knight. A slugfest broke out and GORE threw Knight to the outside after a spinning head kick. KrackerJak interfered again and GORE smashed Knight around ringside. Knight threw GORE into the crowd and they fought amongst the fans. Knight was about to put GORE through a merch table when KrackerJak hopped on his back. Knight calmly walked over to a pillar and crushed KrackerJak against it. GORE had recovered by now and put Knight through the merch table with a spinebuster.
KrackerJak advised GORE to take the count-out so the Snuff Brothers returned to the ring. Knight beat the count much to KrackerJak’s annoyance and ate a deadlift gutwrench from GORE. Knight fought off KrackerJak again and was launched by a T-Bone Suplex. Knight turned a powerbomb attempt into a Samoan Driver and GORE hit him with a German. GORE went back to the heel hook but Knight found the ropes and floored GORE with a deadly clothesline. KrackerJak tried for Britney Spears but Knight caught him and dropped him with a Brainbuster. He did the same to GORE and got the win over the Brothers Snuff. This went wild in all the best ways as these two juggernauts had a kaiju fight around the whole building. Whilst I’m sad GORE didn’t progress, Knight more than earned his spot. That capped off an excellent show of the first-round action with a diverse range of fighters progressing through. I love that DMDU has a totally gender-neutral model because it leads to so many unique matches. Wrestlers are wrestlers regardless of gender, just let them fight. It leads to exceptional tournaments like this. Come back soon for coverage of night 2 and the climax of this history-making tournament.
DEATH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME
— Joel Bateman 🖤💛❤️ #ChangeTheDate (@TheSmash_Hit) June 5, 2021