WARNING STRONG VIOLENCE AND LANGUAGE AHEAD
Welcome back to GCW and to my favourite time of year, Deathmatch Season. GCW want to have a Bad Boy Summer so they were opening with their bloodiest show, The Tournament of Survival. Eight of the Deathmatch Elite from multiple generations had been chosen and now it was time to see who could stand atop the mountain of blood and bodies. Alex Colon was looking to three-peat the tournament but to do so he’d have to be ready to potentially beat any of EFFY, Nolan Edward, Bam Sullivan, G-Raver, 1 Called Manders, or Atticus Cogar across three rounds of violence. Let’s get into the carnage.
Fuckery Boards Deathmatch: G-Raver defeated EFFY via Meteora
We had a fired-up crowd in the heart of the Showboat ready for some fuckery. They’d seen Nick Gage tried to call out Matt Cardona and get no response, now was time to fight. Lucky for them we were opening with a Fuckery Boards Deathmatch. EFFY was up first and he was out to prove deathmatch is gay against one of the best in the biz G-Raver. Raver even had fucking druids. EFFY tried to pie-face Raver for the camera so Raver knocked him out of the ring for a Tope con Giro. EFFY answered back with crotch thrusts and the pair danced around the boards. Raver was sent into the corner and EFFY suffocated and stabbed him with his spiked jacket for a studded Yakuza Kick into the Leg-DT. Raver stunned EFFY on the top rope and broke a tube in his romper with a deadly drive. He broke another into EFFY’s back with a victim kick and smashed some across his legs before throwing EFFY through a barbed-wire door. Raver ripped off the romper and took the barbed wire to EFFY’s back before glassing up that back with a twisting flatliner through a tube door. EFFY fired up from door shots to the head and broke a chair over Raver’s head. He set up another tube door and trapped Raver in the corner for barbed-wire crotch thrusts. They fought on the second rope and EFFY put Raver through the door with a Blockbuster. He got a two-count with Under the Rainbow and Raver escaped a powerbomb with a Meteora through a chair. EFFY kicked out so Raver trapped him on the top buckle and poured a sharing bag of salt and vinegar crisps over EFFY’s cut-up back before hitting the crushing senton. A chair duel broke out at ringside and Raver set up a tack door. Effy hit a violent spinebuster on the apron and went for the SHLAK-style carrier bag murder. He went for broke and threw himself through the tack board as Raver dodged. Raver went for the kill but EFFY dodged and speared a bundle through him. Effy nailed the TKO and locked on the Dragon Sleeper but Raver tossed him outside for another Meteora. He hit one final one in-ring and took the win. EFFY had fought hard and pushed Raver to the limit but you can’t stop a Ghoul and Raver took the win. This was incredible and the pair pushed creativity alongside their brutality. A perfect show opener.
Bunkhouse Deathmatch: Atticus Cogar defeated 1 Called Manders via Tower of Fuckery Brain Haemorrhage
— Kayden😷/ケイデン🌸🌺 (@KVR216) June 5, 2021
Next was a taste of Cowboy death as Manders was in action against the Silver Teeth Satan. They had hay, barbed wire, and a whole lot of blood to spill. Cogar is one of the tournament favourites, could Manders cause the upset? Cogar made the mistake of charging and Manders hammered him down and dropped him to the mat with a one-armed slam. He choked out Cogar with a bull-rope and shitcanned him with a haybale. Manders showed off with a Stalling Suplex and tried to take a whip to Cogar but Cogar snatched it up and choked him out. Manders whipped back but Cogar trapped him in the ropes for the moonsault. Cogar took the cowbell to Manders’ face and gouged at his face with a bridle. Manders ate and enzuigiri and thought he’d created separation dodging another moonsault but was snapped back into the buckles with a shotgun dropkick. Manders bailed and Cogar followed with a tope and set up the barbed-wire net outside. Cogar got pelted and Manders tried for the Oklahoma Stampede but Cogar pushed him into a cow skull. Cogar smashed up the skull and stabbed up Manders with the pieces. Manders scooped him up again and nailed the Oklahoma Stampede into the net, giving Cogar a face-full of wire. The ringside staff cut Cogar free as Manders re-arranged the furniture. Manders tanked a bundle to the head and the pair threw hands. Manders hit Cogar with a bundle and drove him into the mat with a Doctor Bomb but only got two. He gave Cogar a beating with a barbed-wire chair and made a hay and fuckery tower. Manders pushed Cogar to the top for a final Stampede but Cogar reversed with an eye rake and skewers into the Brain Haemorrhage through the fuckery tower and the win. Much like EFFY, Manders fought an excellent fight, proving why he had his place but Cogar was just too crafty for him and disaster struck. This was a creative use of Bunkhouse items and a nice change of pace as we got a powerhouse deathmatch fighter. Fuck 44OH! Count: 1
Towers of Terror Deathmatch: Nolan Edward defeated Orin Veidt via Tube Tower Liability
The Carnival had come to the ToS. Nolan Edward, the no-flinch kid with a death wish had been brought into the deathmatch fold and his first-round opponent was the Wizard King, Orin Veidt. These two had tube towers and knife boards to play with. This was going to get ugly. We got a carny handshake and the pair locked up. They danced around the towers and the pair continued their chain wrestling. Veidt stomped Edward’s foot and threw him through the first tower. Veidt gave him the tube treatment and dropped Edward on his back with a squatting Suplex. He woke Edward up with a tube headbutt and the pair struck it out. Edward scored a near-fall with a Slingshot Blue Thunder Bomb and broke a tower on Veidt with a cannonball. Edward was firing up as he broke tubes on Veidt and crushed more into Veidt’s midsection with a knee drop. A tube duel broke out and Veidt slammed Edward into more with a Falcon Arrow. We then got the best bit of camerawork ever as Edward trapped Veidt in the Gory Special, then realised a knife board was there and dropped Veidt on it with a Gory Bomb, perfectly captured in snuff film style. The Drill Bit followed but Veidt had enough energy to kick out. Veidt nailed Edward with a bundle and Total Anarchy but he too only got two. A pinfall war broke out and Edward went through another tower thanks to an Assault Driver. Veidt was too tired to pin and Edward capitalised with a tube tower Liability Headbutt. Edward had scored one for the new generation. This was awesome as the two mixed classical wrestling with giant painful towers of tubes. It was a clever use of the stipulation and a ton of fun to watch.
Bundles of Hate Deathmatch: Alex Colon defeated Bam Sullivan via Roll-up
— Tripping Balls (@IsThisWrestling) June 5, 2021
Time to see if Colon could successfully start his journey to the three-peat. His first step was Bam Sullivan, the first H2O Danny Havoc Hardcore Champion and more importantly, someone who has beaten Colon before. They had bundles to play with and bad blood to deal with. We didn’t even get introductions as Colon came out with a bumper sword and smashed it over Sullivan’s head. He nailed the tube dive and smashed more into a seated Sullivan with double knees. Colon was not here to fuck around and gave Sullivan a carving tour of the crowd. Sullivan cracked Colon with a bundle as Colon re-entered the ring and carved Colon around the ring to a chorus of boos. The pair danced around a bundle and Sullivan hurt them both with a Cradle Shock through it. He got too cocky and Colon made him pay with a tripping tube breaker. Sullivan fought back with a schoolboy punt kick and broke more tubes with a Suplex Slam. He got cocky again and to no one’s surprise Colon made him pay with a buckle smash into another tube double knees. Sullivan ducked a baseball swing and blasted through the tubes to forearm one into Colon’s neck. Colon spat at Sullivan and a slugfest broke out. The tubes smashed and Sullivan nearly scored the win with a tube Spinebuster. Sullivan went to the top but Colon smashed another bundle on him and nailed a tube-assisted Spanish Fly. That should have ended it but Sullivan kicked out at one… Colon broke another bumper sword on Sullivan and the pair threw more hands. Colon trapped Sullivan in a roll-up and took the win. Sullivan had given the crowd someone to hate and respect but Colon was still the top dog and was one step closer to the three-peat, even if Sullivan slugged him post-match. That closed out the opening round with a bang.
Scramble: Ninja Mack defeated Dante Leon, Calvin Tankman, Jack Cartwheel, Dyln McKay & Starboy Charlie via Phoenix 630 on McKay
— Kayden😷/ケイデン🌸🌺 (@KVR216) June 5, 2021
Time for the scramble. What better way to break up tournament action than bringing in a selection of flippy fighters against the hybrid hoss Calvin Tankman. This was going to be a ridiculous show of athleticism for everyone involved. Ninja Mack was here to break the internet again alongside several other gif-able wrestlers. Tankman murdered everyone in the opening minute as his power trumped all the speed in the ring. We saw alliances form as everyone worked to be rid of Tankman, flying, kicking, and stunning him until he was outside. From there, it was a highlight reel for everyone involved as we got showdown after showdown between the guys in the ring. Everyone got to show off their brand of flippy shit and power as Mack and Cartwheel broke the flip counter. Bodies piled up as more and more of them fought on the outside until McKay exploded through the body pile with a 630 senton. That wasn’t enough though as Tankman stunned the body pile again for his tope. Mack and Tankman mixed it up as Mack was able to dispatch him with a Capoeira Twisting Splash and once again, we went for a round of incredible showcases from the fighters involved. Tankman once again, murdered multiple men at once as he used Cartwheel as a weapon on Leon before destroying Cartwheel with the Hidden Blade. More alliances formed until Mack took out everyone with physics-breaking flippy shit. He took the win with a Phoenix 630 on McKay and walked out the winner. This was mad bullshit at its finest. What a fun sidetrack from the fuckery.
Gusset Plates and Light Tubes: Atticus Cogar defeated G-Raver via Lloyd Intervention Brain Haemorrhage
Time to return to the tournament as G-Raver and Cogar looked to shake off the injuries of round one and fuck up each other with tubes and gussets. There was a nightmarish frame of gussets to play with and no love lost between these two. They opened with a hockey fight and went right to the tubes, Raver hitting Cogar with the combo of a tube and knee. He crushed Cogar’s face with a flatliner and drove his arm into the gusset frame. Raver relentlessly bounced Cogar off the frame and continued to grind the arm into oblivion. Cogar fought back and knocked Raver head-first into the frame for a German. The skewers came out as Cogar hammered them into Raver’s shoulder and gave him a pair of Shrek horns. Things went from bad to worse as Cogar pulled the skewers out of Raver’s head and stabbed them into his mouth. He stabbed more into Raver’s shoulder and dragged Raver into the gusset frame again. Raver fired back with a DDT and one of his druids presented him with tattoo needles. He stabbed them into Cogar’s shoulder as an act of vengeance and snapped that stabbed-up shoulder into the mat. Raver tried to stab a second set into Cogar but Cogar hit low and skewered Raver’s head again before punt-kicking him into the gusset frame. Raver fought back again and was handed another set of needles. He was ready to kill but one of the ghouls entered the ring with a bundle. They hit Raver with the bundle and pulled off their mask to reveal none other than Jimmy F’N Lloyd. He bailed and Cogar put the needles in Raver’s head for the Brain Haemorrhage. It looks like the Raver/Lloyd story has another chapter as Lloyd just screwed Raver out of the tournament. This got nasty as both guys took multiple stabbing implements. Cogar makes it to the final and Lloyd just put a massive target on his back. Fuck 44OH! Count: 2
Tai-panes Deathmatch: Alex Colon defeated Nolan Edward via Camel Clutch
— Tripping Balls (@IsThisWrestling) June 5, 2021
Nothing makes me happier than seeing Colon/Edward being matched up again. These guys tore it down once and now they were going to up the glass count with Taipei deathmatch rules. They had glass on glass with panes galore. Given the temperament of both these guys, someone was getting fucked up. They opened with attempted punches and Edward scored an early pane break with a spear. Edward stomped down Colon and raked his knuckles across his head. They struck it out and Edward nailed the Drill Bit. He broke another pane on Colon with a cannonball and gave him more glass knucks. They fought to the apron and Colon shit-canned Edward with an apron DVD. Edward fell to the floor and Colon drilled him into it with a diving DDT. They punched it out on the floor and Colon wrecked Edward with a backbreaker. They returned to the ring and went counter for counter until Colon put Edward through a Pane with a Snap Hurricanrana. He set up another pane on chairs and the pair had a headbutt fight on the second rope. Edward won the exchange and drove Colon through the pane with a Blue Thunder Bomb. He set up a fuckery talent with a bundle door and more panes. He went to the top but Colon pelted him with a chair and smash a pane on Edward with a chair. He hit the Spanish Fly through the bundle door but somehow only got two. Colon dumped the door on him, tossed him through a final glass pane, and got the win with the Camel Clutch. Things really got heated in this one. They weren’t hampered by the Taipei rules as they broke bodies and panes at a break-neck pace. This was a joy to watch as the pair mesh so well and Edward will always risk everything. Colon managed to power through and is one step away from the three-peat.
Pre-Final Massacre: AJ Gray murdered Kit Osbourne via Lariat
— Kayden😷/ケイデン🌸🌺 (@KVR216) June 5, 2021
Oh no, he’s back. Kit Osbourne was here once again to hold the show hostage because he hadn’t been booked. The last time he did this, Markus Crane murdered him. This time, his ranting was cut off by the Motherfucking Truth AJ Gray. Once Waka Flocka Flame hit everyone knew Osbourne was fucked. Osbourne attacked early but Gray cut him off with a Spinning Wheel Kick. Osbourne smashed tubes into Gray’s back and took the time to posture to the crowd. He was woken up by a tube to the head and bitchslapped Osbourne’s face off. That was followed by a brutal powerbomb and a tube across the head. Gray nailed that lethal lariat and ended it. Somehow Gray wasn’t in ToS but he got to murder Kit Osbourne and smash some tubes in a fun fashion. I feel sorry for Kit, he is genuinely awesome but always ends up left out or left for dead.
ToS 666 Final No Canvas 200 Light Tubes Match: Alex Colon defeated Atticus Cogar via Camel Clutch
— Tripping Balls (@IsThisWrestling) June 5, 2021
Last but not least, the main event. This was the last step between Alex Colon and the three-peat. He had fought through two glass-fests against some of the hungriest of the new generation and now was arguably the best new-generation deathmatch star, Atticus Cogar. Could 44OH! ruin this massive legacy builder for Colon or was Colon going to fight through another obstacle and carve his name into deathmatch history? We even got to see Sick Nick Mondo as he brought the trophy to the ring and Colon paid tribute to Danny Havoc coming out to the Libertines as Markus Crane backed him up. Cogar scared off Mondo and went right after Colon with tubes. He cut at Colon’s throat with a tube and threw his headband at Crane. Colon was thrown into the tubes and Cogar dragged another jagged shard up his arm. He stabbed up Colon with skewers and followed him outside to hit him with a trashcan. Colon hit back with the can and dumped Cogar through a tube and wire door with a scoop slam. The fight went into the crowd as Colon punished Cogar on the floor but an ill-fated whip saw Cogar propel him into another tube/wire door and double stomp it through him. A cameraman also took this door falling on them like a champ. Cogar looked to use the tube cage on Colon but Colon trapped him in it and booted it to breaking point. Cogar put the block on another bundle smash and punched it into Colon’s head, then suplexed him onto a barbed-wire door. Ring boards were removed and Cogar set up a glass portal to hell.
The two smashed more tubes on each other as the pair duelled with any tube in arm’s reach. Cogar caught Colon into the Air Raid Crash and drove them both into the glass pane-covered hole to hell. Colon refused to die and smashed another bundle onto a top rope that trapped Cogar. They both crashed down off the bundle Spanish Fly into barbed wire and boards. Cogar also refused to quit and tried for a dirty roll-up. Colon kicked out of that and the Brain Haemorrhage leaving Cogar completely stunned. He set up one final pane and headbutted Colon on the top rope. He looked set for a Frankensteiner but Colon hit him in the dick and hit a second rope Styles Clash through the pane. That got two and Cogar quickly countered a Uranage into a board slam. Colon hung in there and Cogar covered the ring in tacks. He retrieved the weed whacker and drove it into Colon’s arm but that just fired Colon up as he nailed Cogar with a Sleeper Suplex, Uranage Knee, and knocked him out with the Camel Clutch. Cogar passed out giving Alex Colon the history-making three-peat of not only Tournament of Survival but deathmatch tournaments overall. Alex Colon proved himself to not only be the toughest motherfucker in the room but the best deathmatch wrestler in the US. Colon bleeds for this business and just looking at the reception he got on winning proves that the fans understand that. Atticus Cogar had been a very close second, putting on a clinic against Colon the entire time. That win was for Danny Havoc and Alex Colon got a very deserving “best in the world” chant. He called out Gage for a title vs title match and threatened to make it four. If anyone could do it, it’s Colon. What a fucking show, by far one of the best Tournaments of Survival and one of the absolute best shows all year.