WARNING: STRONG VIOLENCE AND LANGUAGE AHEAD
Welcome back to Timebomb Pro. We’ve left the ringed venue behind to embrace the backyard spirit of violence. This special little show has two high-impact matches as Damon Spriggle, the humblest of pro wrestlers, takes on the Atomic Super ThunderFrog and for the main event, Ricky Noren once again suffers for our art again as he takes on deathmatch legend Mad Man Pondo. With the preamble out of the way, let’s jump into the violence and see who survived in this backyard bash.
Damon Spriggle defeated Atomic Super ThunderFrog via Skewer Stab Quitting
Up first was something a bit out of the ordinary. Damon Spriggle, a regular of Timebomb and humblest pro wrestler around would have to face off against the full might of the Atomic Super ThunderFrog. The backyard was about to be torn up. ThunderFrog got the people wet with a garden hose and Spriggle snuck up on him to smash records over his head. Spriggle kept up the attack but ThunderFrog caught him into an Airplane spin and made both of them nauseous. That didn’t stop ThunderFrog spinning backwards too though and murdering Spriggle with jabs. Spriggle slapped away a windmill and the pair chopped it out. Spriggle tried to wind up and ThunderFrog dropped him on his tailbone with an Atomic Drop, then an even nastier Manhattan Drop. He rocked Spriggle with a bionic elbow but didn’t follow up so Spriggle kicked him right in the cock. Spriggle threw ThunderFrog into the crowd and the pair battled amongst the fans and into the street. They exchanged blows in the middle of the road and Spriggle took ThunderFrog out with a Stunner. Spriggle returned to the fight area and set up a door. ThunderFrog pelted Spriggle with trays and covered the door in thunder snaps. They duelled with trays and traded headbutts and forearms up a height on lawn tables. ThunderFrog chopped the shit out of Spriggle again and pelted each other again with tiny chairs. ThunderFrog won the exchange and set up the tiny chairs but Spriggle countered and Suplexed ThunderFrog onto them. Spriggle prepared to end things but ThunderFrog put Spriggle through it by throwing his mighty hammer. He grabbed skewers to finish the job but Spriggle DDT’ed him onto the door wreckage. Spriggle stuck the skewers in ThunderFrog’s head and he quit. He wasn’t taking anymore of this shit. Spriggle had bested the God of Thunder in one hilarious little hardcore bout and got his first Timebomb win. This was a good deal of fun and a nice tongue-in-cheek approach to backyard deathmatch.
Mad Man Pondo defeated Ricky Noren via Barbed-Wire Board Splash
After a brief musical intermission, we got the main event. A first-time-ever between Ricky Noren, the deathmatch Bob Ross and Mad Man Pondo, the deathmatch icon who needs no introduction. They were going to splatter the backyard with blood and murderous art. Pondo clearly wasn’t here to make friends as he let the crowd know what he thought of their “hero.” They opened with straight punches and Noren stabbed Pondo in the head with scissors as he shit-talked the crowd. Noren tried to carve a whole picture into Pondo’s forehead and Pondo hit low, then attacked Noren with a staple gun, stapling dollars to different parts of Noren’s anatomy. Noren snatched the staple gun away and attached a dollar bill to Pondo’s cheek. Pondo got mean and stapled Noren’s dick, then stapled a dollar to the back of Noren’s neck. The signature saw bat came out and Ponda cut Noren from ass crack to nape as the saw blade traced his spine. He tore the dollar off Noren’s forehead and cut another trail across it with the saw bat. Pondo got even more pissed off and stabbed Noren in the guts with the bat. He dragged across a barbed-wire board and Noren danced around it to break Pondo and the board in half with a spear. More chairs came out and set up another barbed-wire board. Pondo broke the remains of the former board over Noren’s head and slowly crushed him into the wire. He climbed atop the tables and ended things with a huge splash onto Noren. Pondo had gotten the win and reminded people why the fuck he’s an icon. Noren put up an excellent effort and really drew the blood from Pondo but you’re in there with a legend and everyone made him mad. By the end, though we got the show of respect, Noren had earned Pondo’s respect. That ended another wild little Timebomb show that felt like a breeze to watch. A whole lot of fun to be had in this small little package.
All images courtesy of Timebomb, Al Schirado, Video courtesy of Timebomb YouTube