WARNING STRONG VIOLENCE AND LANGUAGE AHEAD

Welcome back to DMDU. We return to Australia for another show of deathmatch carnage and strong style violence from the breakout company of 2021 so far. This one took some twists and turns but ended up with a card full of new-age and old-age viciousness as the new generation stepped up to bring the fight. There were deathmatches galore featuring JXT, Damian Rivers, Joel Bateman, York, Callen Butcher, and many more alongside a title defence for Misspent Youth as they had to battle the classy comrades from The Toast of the Upper Crust. This was just the tip of the iceberg so let’s get into the action.

Ritchie Taylor defeated Mad Dog via Cloverleaf

The blow-out in Ballarat began with a non-title match for the new DMDU Heavyweight Champion. Ritchie Taylor was here to fight and he would be battling an Aussie veteran, Mad Dog. Both guys hit hard so this was going to get incredibly stiff. Taylor opened with chain wrestling but Mad Dog quickly grabbed the ropes and started a slugfest. Things escalated quickly as Taylor tried to take the fight to the mat and Mad Dog hit him in the throat for it. Taylor fired back with an Exploder and locked on a Cloverleaf. Taylor gave Mad Dog a chop so Mad Dog trapped him in a Cobra Twist. The fight went outside and Taylor took out Mad Dog with a Suicide Dive. Mad Dog headbutted back and the pair brawled around the fans, Dog breaking his own elbow hitting the ring-post. They kept scrapping in the ring where Taylor launched Mad Dog with a German. Mad Dog was not to be outdone and landed a Tiger Slam then trapped Taylor on the mat. Taylor threw Mad Dog again but Dog was back up and trapping him in another hold. Taylor escaped with an Air Raid Crash and blasted Mad Dog with a duo of deadly rolling elbows. The Cloverleaf was reapplied and Dog tapped out. This had been a nasty little opener with Dog breaking himself open the hard way. We got a whole lot of stiff fun to open the show. An excellent way to start. Mad Dog wants round two in a deathmatch, where Taylor’s submissions won’t mean shit.

FOX & Jake Navara defeated Charli Rose & Kid Valiant via Unmasking Roll-up

Next up was a couple of bastards taking to the ring. It was Blacklisted’s FOX teaming up with the mask hating Jake Navara against new-generation talents Charli Rose and the Psychedelic Kid Valiant. The Cool Guy Squad, Valiant and Rose automatically made themselves the favourites by coming out to All-Star by Smash Mouth. We knew what Navara was out to do but what would FOX do in this match? The crowd still hadn’t forgotten about him threatening to shit in the ring. Navara started against Rose and instantly mocked them by stepping over their back and posing with FOX. Navara kept trying to show off so Rose took him over with an arm-drag and made the tag. Valiant picked up the pace and took out Navara with a springboard crossbody. FOX interfered and allowed Navara to cut Valiant off with a double-leg takedown. FOX took over the match and wounded Valiant with a nipple cripple. Valiant crippled back but FOX grabbed him by the mask and chopped away. The duo kept bullying Valiant with stiff chops and chokes as Rose tried to will him back for a tag. Valiant nearly escaped with a Jawbreaker but Navara maintained control with an Enzuigiri and dragged him back to FOX. Valiant got away from FOX with a Tornado DDT and finally got the tag to Rose. They came in like a house on fire and beat the shit out of both guys. Rose dropped Navara with a Swinging Neckbreaker and dumped him on his face with the Stroke. They tagged and Valiant came in to deliver a Black-Out Stomp. FOX saved Navara and kept Rose at bay as Navara unmasked Valiant and rolled him up for the win. The villains had taken the match by bullying Valiant and disrespecting him in the worst way possible. What a pair of bastards. Once again, this was a nasty little match with Valiant really being made a martyr. I can’t wait to see him get revenge now.

Anti-Deathmatch Party (Hector Jones & Caity Luxe w/Hector Jones w/Mr Wrestling Mitchell Wright) defeated Chanel Phoenix & Mortar via Everlasting Gobstopper/Swinging Neckbreaker combo on Mortar

Oh great, here we go again. The most loathsome group in DMDU were back to defend “real” wrestling by breaking all the rules they could. Hector Jones and Caity Luxe were representing the Anti-Deathmatch Party this time against the MMA badass Chanel Phoenix and the Polynesian Demon Mortar. The Anti-Deathmatch Party was in for a hell of a rough ride. Phoenix started by overpowering Luxe and followed her outside for an apron backdrop. Jones came in and demanded a fight with Mortar. This turned out to be a ruse as Jones nailed Phoenix in the back as she went for the tag. He caused a distraction with Mortar and the ADP double-teamed Phoenix. They continued to beat down Phoenix and kept her trapped within their half of the ring as Mortar looked on and Jay Stevens tried their best to keep order. Phoenix got her escape with a German and Mortar wrecked with lariats and a Chokeslam. Chaos broke out and the ADP used the numbers against Mortar to win with an Everlasting Gobstopper/Swinging Neckbreaker Combo. The ADP once again stole a win with dirty tricks and rule-breaking. This wasn’t the strongest match as we barely got to see anything from Mortar. Hopefully, we’ll see more from her in future shows.

Barbed-Wire & Cactus Deathmatch: Vixsin defeated Will Walker via Sit-Out Chokebomb to Bundle

Time to get violent. Will Walker was getting his deathmatch baptism by fire as he was about to take on the veteran monster Vixsin in a match full of barbed wire and cacti. Walker seemed surprisingly calm despite the fact he was in there with someone pretty deadly. They opened with punches and danced around the barbed-wire board until Vixsin floored Walker with a lariat. The ring was filled with cacti and Walker dropkicked Vixsin into it. Vixsin seemed unphased and scooped Walker up to slam him into the cacti then crushed him into it further with a senton. Walker foot stomped free from Vixsin and stuffed tacks in her mouth for a pump kick. More tacks were emptied onto the ring and Walker got a back full of them as Vixsin dropped him with a belly to backdrop. Walker stumbled around hurt but was intentionally faking as he baited Vixsin into a Stunner. Vixsin got angry and charged but Walker leapfrogged, letting her run herself into the barbed-wire board. She had barbed wire in her hair and still didn’t care, fighting on like nothing was wrong. Walker came at Vixsin with a bundle but she swatted him away and fought out of a DDT to break the bundle and Walker with a Sit-Out Chokebomb. Walker had fought like hell here but deathmatch experience and resilience paid off for Vixsin. This was a vicious little opening deathmatch with both taking some nasty pricks. I’ll never get over how badass people can be fighting with barbed wire in their hair.

DMDU Tag Titles: Misspent Youth (Aysha & Murdoch) defeated Toast of the Upper Crust (Atlas CC Whittaker & Darcy Moss) via The Big Yeet on Moss

Time for some more tag team action. Misspent Youth were taking on the Intrepid duo of explorers The Toast of the Upper Crust. Darcy Moss and Atlas CC Whittaker fell short in the tag tournament and were looking to redeem themselves. Even better for them, they were getting a title shot as Misspent Youth wanted to be fighting champions. The Toast attacked early but Aysha and Murdoch managed to regain control and targeted Whittaker with a low dropkick/senton combo and an assisted Hurricanrana. Moss attacked Murdoch and gave Whittaker a chance to catch him into a Spin Cycle Suplex. The Toast swarmed and nailed Murdoch with dual Atomic Drops and broke him further with a wishbone. They continued to beat down Murdoch with brutal efficiency and kept making quick tags to keep him trapped. Moss tried for a diving leg drop but the low ceiling threw him off and Murdoch was able to dodge. He made the tag and Aysha started dropping bodies with lariats and a spinning heel kick into a Cazadora Bulldog. Aysha continued to torture Whittaker with stiff kicks and tagged in Murdoch for an Assisted Guillotine Leg Drop. Murdoch crushed Whittaker with a cannonball and Twisting Suplex and kept the hot tags going with Aysha. Whittaker caught Aysha out of a Codebreaker and dropped her with a falling slam. Both tagged and Moss slugged it out with Murdoch. A double-team fight broke out and Misspent Youth took out Whittaker with double superkicks and Moss out with a Codebreaker/Backbreaker combo. The Toast avoided doom by taking out Aysha with a Samoan Drop and Murdoch with a Double Chokeslam. Aysha prevented Murdoch’s doom and Moss did the same for Whittaker as both teams went for the kill. The Toast hit an assisted Spike Driver but only got two. Aysha was able to counter an electric chair into the Crucifix and the pair ended things with The Big Yeet. This had been quite the fight with Moss and Whittaker really stepping up to bring the fight to the champs. I thoroughly enjoyed this match and look forward to more of Whittaker and Moss in the future. Vale!

Dog Collar Match: York defeated Callen Butcher via Chain and Skewer Choke

Big boy fight! Callen Butcher and York have been killing each other for months now and this was going to be the next episode in that saga. York has been unable to beat Butcher but now, he was being chained to him so movement was restricted. Things were going to get very ugly. Jay Stevens seemed hesitant to chain them together, though maybe they just didn’t want to touch the rusted chain. They opened with a tug of war and quickly started throwing hands. Butcher whipped York with the chain and ran into the buckle as York dodged a corner charge. He hammered Butcher with chained punches and wrecked his back with chain whips. He flattened Butcher with a corner cannonball and again with a running senton. York skewered Butcher in the shoulder and nearly decapitated him with a running knee. Butcher kicked out so York threw him over the ropes for a hangman. He fought free and whipped York again with the chain before skewering his back. He tried to fly but York yanked him out of the air with the chain. York bludgeoned Butcher with more knees and skewered his head. Butcher kicked away York and did the same to him then both guys headbutted it out, sending skewers everywhere. Butcher tried to fire up but York floored him with a lariat. He wrapped the chain around Butcher’s neck and went for a choke, stabbing skewers into Butcher’s mouth for even more pain. Butcher passed out and Jay called off the match. York had finally defeated Butcher and done so in truly horrifying fashion. This one got rather uncomfortable to watch. Both guys took the stipulation to its limit and beat the fuck out of each other. It got ugly which is exactly what I wanted.

Wrestling Figure Deathmatch: Damian Rivers defeated JXT via Figured-up Bundle Powerbomb

To those who wish death on JXT, you might finally get your wish. This was going to be an odd one. The whole match came about because JXT and Damian Rivers are both avid wrestling figure collectors. The argument came over who has the better collection. What better way to decide than with a deathmatch? That’s right JXT is going full-on deathmatch. They started by emptying out the plunder and looking for figures they didn’t own. The figures duked it out and Rivers stopped the fun with a forearm. JXT tripped down Rivers and locked on a crossface with another figure. He hulked up whilst holding a Hogan figure and hit the leg drop with it. Rivers miraculously got up and slammed JXT onto a figure pile. He nailed JXT with a plastic MITB briefcase and cashed in by attacking him with a ring and Guess Who board. JXT fired back with another plastic ring and ducked a charge to hit a knee and bulldog onto a collectable. He cock shot Rivers with CM Punk and made a fuckery pile, breaking Jay’s heart by taking away the MITB briefcase from them to break it on Rivers’ head. He went for a Pedigree but Rivers countered into a DDT onto the pile. He brought out the cling film and stabbed the blade into JXT’s head. He dragged it across JXT’s mouth and JXT broke a tube on Rivers. He carved Rivers with glass but this just fired him up and he cracked JXT with another ring. York handed him a figured-up bundle and a fan gave JXT a White Claw. JXT hit Rivers in the balls and tore the can in half to rip up Rivers’ head further. He went for corner punches but Rivers hit low and ended things with a Powerbomb through the bundle. Rivers had won the superior collector title in this goofy yet gnarly deathmatch that both guys clearly had fun with. It also got bonus points for FOX’s hilarious commentary throughout.

Ballarat Deathmatch: Joel Bateman defeated Jason Cole via Cinderblock Pile Double Stomp

Time for what was meant to be the main event. Joel Bateman was giving the DMDU audience another high-impact deathmatch. This time his canvas of blood would be Jason Cole in a match where saws were going to be your best friend as well as a whole load of other fuckery. There was going to be a lot of mess after this one. Bateman found himself instantly overpowered so ducked out of the ring quickly. Cole questioned the fuckery then made full use of it with a chair body slam. He rearranged the cinderblocks and placed a bundle on top of his tower. Bateman escaped death and tripped Cole into a double stomp over the tower. Cole was unable to continue as his leg had given out so the match was called off. Cole didn’t want to stop fighting but Bateman wasn’t going to fight someone injured. He was escorted away to get treated and another fighter stepped up to come at the Smash Hit.

Surprise Ballarat Deathmatch: Joel Bateman defeated Will Walker via Death by Lariat

So, Cole had been injured and now the main event slot was void. Bateman was fired up and ready to fight and Will Walker seemed determined to die tonight by doing two deathmatches in one night. They opened by throwing bombs and Bateman slammed him onto saws. He took a saw to Walker’s head and started cutting. He did the same with a light tube and got slapped by Walker. He insulted Bateman and paid for it with a swift back kick. The kicks kept coming as Bateman delivered tube kicks to Walker’s back and front but Walker refused to stay down and dumped Bateman with a Suplex. He elbowed Bateman down again and hammered a gusset into his head. He ripped it from Bateman’s head and drove him into the canvas with an Ace Crusher. They danced towards the saw board and Bateman snapped Walker into it with a Saito. They fought up and swung at each other. Walker blasted Bateman with an enzuigiri and wrestled him towards a tube board which he then put Bateman through with a Destroyer. Both men were down again and Walker found his feet first. He set up a bundle for another Destroyer but Bateman wouldn’t budge. They slugged it out and Bateman blew out the audio with a sickening shoot headbutt. He hit a Somato through the bundle but only got one as Walker was right back up. Bateman downed him again with a massive lariat and Walker was out for the count. Walker had come out of nowhere to do two deathmatches and nearly took out the head bloodletter of the company. This was awesome. Walker impressed twice in one night and Bateman proved without a doubt he isn’t just an excellent wrestler, he’s an excellent teacher and storyteller who’ll give anyone who wants it the chance to prove themselves. They ended with a mutual tube break and everyone went home happy. That ended another excellent DMDU show that just keeps showing off the depth of the company.

All images courtesy of DMDU, Jake Hurdle Photography, Grimfont, Screenshots

Leave a Reply