WARNING: STRONG VIOLENCE AND LANGUAGE AHEAD

Welcome back to No Peace Underground and to the final show we’ll cover in the Texas deathmatch tour. It was time for some more no-ring violence as the spirit of the Soundbar headed to a bar in Texas with a mix of new and current faces filling out the card. We’d see Colby Corino vs Dante Leon, Parrow vs AKIRA and Orin Veidt, John Wayne Murdoch vs Aeroboy, Sawyer Wreck vs Neil Diamond Cutter, and more leading to the main event where 44OH! went against the might of The Faces of Death. There was a multitude of madness ahead so let’s waste no more time and get into the action.

Colby Corino defeated Dante Leon via Chair Platform Brainbuster

Up first was some high-flying chaos as the Endseeker Dante Leon went to war with Colby Corino. Both of these guys can innovate in an instant so practically anything could happen. Corino wanted to wrestle so the fuckery was pushed aside and the pair prepared to grapple. This backfired as Leon almost choked him out, prompting a collision with the guardrail. Corino continued to work the back and tried for a wrist-lock but Leon launched him into the guardrail with a headlock takeover. He threw Corino into a pile of chairs and hit him with a running Swanton off the stage. He dropped a door on Corino and took the time to set up a door. Corino caught Leon as he took a run-up and sent them both crashing through the door with a headlock driver. Both guys got their backs broken as Corino dumped Leon on a chair and Leon dumped Corino on a keg. The trading continued as Corino pelted Leon with chairs and Leon stabbed Corino up with tack bats before decapitating him with a Roundhouse kick. Leon set up a giant ladder and set Corino on another door. He ascended the ladder and broke the door with a double stomp. Corino kicked out, so Leon made a chair platform. He went to drag Corino up but had tacks thrown in his eyes and got dropped through the chairs with a Brainbuster. Corino took the win but had had ten shades of shit knocked out of him by the home-state hero. It was nice to see Leon adapt nicely to the No Peace style and kicked the show off in style. Wrestlers need to stop making chair platforms… they’re cursed I swear.

Parrow defeated Orin Veidt & AKIRA via Greetings From Asbury Park

Next up was another big test for the Gay Agenda. Parrow had come to fight and he was crushing not one but two deathmatch favourites in AKIRA and Orin Veidt. But first, a message from your friendly neighbourhood stream crasher Kit Osbourne. This time he was in a field with a warning to Parrow. He’d called out the world, now he had to be careful who answered. With that done let’s see him battle a Wizard King and a Death Samurai. AKIRA opened the match by breaking a tube on Parrow’s head but he completely no-sold it. AKIRA kept chopping and kicking at Parrow as Cowboy Orin cheered him on. When AKIRA made no headway in this Parrow and Veidt kicked him down and Parrow began his beatdown. Veidt took some cheap shots at AKIRA as Parrow did all the heavy lifting. Parrow powerbombed AKIRA onto the stage and ordered Veidt to set up a door. Veidt made the mistake of breaking up a pin and incurred the wrath of Parrow, tasting the metal of the guardrail. Veidt tried to come back with a chair but Parrow put him through a door with a back body drop. AKIRA made the save with the Shatter Star Bomb and kicked the soul out of Parrow. He held the Bear in place and Veidt bust a bundle over his skull before teaming up again to put him through a guardrail. AKIRA landed another senton and the pair whipped Parrow into a bear door. Veidt and AKIRA had a striking showdown and Veidt launched AKIRA into another guardrail. He hoisted AKIRA up and drilled him onto it again with Total Anarchy. Colby Corino came back out to attack Veidt after taking an L to him and those two brawled to the back. AKIRA was left with an angry bear and the pair got into a slugging bout. AKIRA got the better of it with a Prawn Roll double stomp and rained down tubes on Parrow, slicing him up the abdomen for good measure. Even a barrage of Scorpion Kicks couldn’t keep him down. AKIRA went for a chair but Parrow chokeslammed him onto it and ended things with a guardrail powerbomb into the Greetings From Asbury Park. Parow once again conquered all despite the odds and AKIRA’s best efforts. This was a very fun car crash to watch and now, Parrow has a title shot in Vegas.

Zicky Dice defeated Bryan Keith via Roll-up

Who wants to get outlandish? The ass-kicking magician was back in action and had another challenge to deal with as the Bounty Hunter, Bryan Keith had come to get him. We’ve seen Dice take on all kinds of foes, but was he ready for the lethal striking of Keith? The fans weren’t fond of Dice and caused ample distraction for Keith to take the first shot, blasting Dice with a tube to the back. He kicked the shit out of Dice and pummelled him around the venue until Dice backdropped him onto the stage. Keith retook control at the bar area and the bartender gave Dice a soda water bath. Dice went to the eyes to avoid death but Keith instantly retaliated with a cross chop to the throat. Dice puked up a ribbon and clotheslined Keith with it then tried to choke him out with it. Dice had a rummage around his sack and tried to fish hook Keith but Keith kept those hands at bay and forced Dice to taste his own ball sweat before kicking his teeth out with an Enzuigiri. Dice avoided death again with a cock shot and assaulted Keith with a card trick, throwing the whole deck at him. He cut Keith’s hands with more playing cards and did the same to his tongue. He looked set to charge but got distracted by a fan and faceplanted onto a chair. Keith set up a door and nailed Dice with Kawada kicks but couldn’t land a powerbomb as Dice used the ref as a weapon and took the win with a Roll-up. Dice just caused the biggest upset in Texas by beating Keith on his home turf. He’d taken a shit-kicking but managed to outwit and out-trick Keith to get the three-count. Hopefully, somewhere down the line Keith reappears and murders his way through No Peace for this. Whether crowds love him or hate him, I can’t get enough of Dice and his antics so I fucking loved this.

Jimmy Lloyd defeated Jeff Gant via Tube Door Razor’s Edge

The stream came back from an intermission to show Jeff Gant on the mic. He was annoyed at being ignored for this weekend, especially after the bumps he’s taken in deathmatches and demanded a match. He made an open challenge that was answered by the Different Boy, Jimmy Lloyd. Welcome to hell “Dirty Dick.” Lloyd marched out to the ring, bundle in hand and brained Gant with tubes. That was just the start as Lloyd rained down punches, threw him through a door, and tanked his blows to cut him up with a tack bat. Gant slugged back and threw elbows at Lloyds before whipping him into a guardrail. He broke a tube off Lloyd but that seemed to just wake him up, resulting in Gant getting another tube in the back. He broke another tube and another door with Gant’s body then tried for a tube door Razor’s Edge but Gant wiggled free and punched out Lloyd for another tube to the head and DDT. That got two so Gant tried for a Brainbuster and flattened Lloyd with a Cutter. Gant tried for a Package Piledriver but only Lloyd succeeded in hitting one and put down the fired-up Gant with a Superkick. Another bundle later and Gant was dazed enough for the tube door Razor’s Edge, getting Lloyd the victory. This had been a surprisingly close little fight with Gant biting off a bit more than he can chew. He left his mark and made No Peace remember him but they also had to scrape him off the barroom floor…

Neil Diamond Cutter vs Sawyer Wreck ends in Kirks interference

Time for things to get ugly. For the past two months, the Matriarch of Mayhem Sawyer Wreck has been on a mission to kill Neil Diamond Cutter. Now, she was finally going one on one with him and seemed more amped than ever to cause as much bloodshed as humanly possible. I know the Honey Badger can’t die but Wreck was going to really test that. Cutter instantly got thrown through a door and kept meeting door after door as he charged at Wreck and got swatted away. This trend continued as Cutter was thrown into and had more fuckery thrown at him. Wreck gave Cutter a gusset to the head but Cutter knocked her down and headbutted one into her head too. It was Cutter’s turn to attack Wreck with the fuckery but turned his back on Wreck and got another tube headbutted into him. Cutter smacked her back down with a crutch and tried to introduce her to BOB but Wreck slugged him in the mouth and stapled dollars to his tongue. Cutter quickly returned the favour and stapled a dollar to Wreck’s tongue and forehead. Cutter broke more tubes but too long to set up his next trick and got kneecapped by the crutch. She hoisted him up and slammed him onto a tube-covered haybale, Mad Maxine style. Cutter wouldn’t die so she loaded up the bale again only for Cutter to start punching back. The pair threw bombs and Cutter used a ripcord to drop Wreck over the bale with a Cutter. He set up more plunder when she wouldn’t stay down but his Suplex attempt was thwarted and he was broken over the pile with a lethal chokeslam. Wreck would have had the win when a gruesome twosome appeared to spoil the fun. Brandon and Kasey Kirk attacked laying waste to Wreck, Kasey really laying it in whilst Brandon kept Cutter down. The match was thrown out as both competitors were out of it. Looks like this beef is squashed for now as the Fuck the Kirks agenda has taken over. Before the abrupt ending, this was fucking awesome. Sawyer Wreck is an absolute monster when it comes to deathmatches and I love it. I hope this fight gets a rerun so we get a conclusive winner.

ICW American Deathmatch Title: John Wayne Murdoch defeated Aeroboy via Gusset and Glass Brainbuster

Let’s get ready for some Lucha Extrema! Aeroboy was back and ready to fuck someone up as he’d been granted a shot at the ICW American Deathmatch Title. John Wayne Murdoch had already tackled Aaron Mercer, now he had to deal with someone whose speed and tenacity could make his life hell. Aeroboy went for the win with a rapid roll-up but only got two. He lit up Murdoch with quick kicks and went for a second pinfall to the same result. Murdoch broke a tube pentagram across Aeroboy’s back and lobbed him into a post. They brawled around the venue where Murdoch hit Aeroboy with a door and Aeroboy dropped Murdoch with a twisting faceplant. He bludgeoned Murdoch with a can and knocked him back to the fight pit for a pentagram smash. Aeroboy tried for a submission victory with a vertical Crossface but wasn’t having any luck so released the hold. Murdoch shook it off and through Aeroboy through a door. Murdoch paused to get taped up but Aeroboy wasn’t having it and struck, kicking at the Duke whilst trying to blind him. Murdoch threw him off again and he flew into a gusset board, one sticking nastily to his leg. He fell to the floor and Murdoch bust more tubes over him to make some carving implements. Aeroboy shunted him away and grabbed a gusset, ramming it into Murdoch’s arm for a superkick. He went to the stage for a modified Octopus, wrenching at the shoulder and started a slugfest that spanned the venue. Murdoch won with an eye poke but couldn’t capitalise as Aeroboy threw him through another door. He locked on a gusset Crossface and set up the gusset board for his grand finale. Murdoch added a glass pane to the mix and the pair danced around it until Murdoch hit the Brainbuster. That got the win and Murdoch lived to hold the gold another day. I always love a bit of hybrid deathmatch so it was fun seeing Aeroboy mix in submissions with the fuckery. This was another excellent title defence and it’s always fun to see Aeroboy in action.

44OH! (Atticus Cogar & Eric Ryan) defeated The Faces of Death (SHLAK & MASADA) via La Magistral on SHLAK

Last but not least, the main event. It was time for another 44OH! vs the world match. The current champ, Eric Ryan was teaming up with his faction mate Atticus Cogar against the legendary Faces of Death, MASADA and SHLAK in what would be a Texas bar brawl for the ages. 44OH! jumped the pair and the brawling began, Cogar dismantling SHLAK and MASADA wrecking Ryan. MASADA sent Ryan through a door and SHLAK brained Cogar with a chair. SHLAK got pelted for taunting and we got the new and old-school skewer fiends shunting it out as Cogar went for MASADA. The pair slugged it out as SHLAK hammered Ryan with a door. A chair duel broke out and MASADA to metal to the face. MASADA got technical with a rolling Cross Armbreaker and SHLAK had a meeting of the minds with Ryan. Ryan made the save so SHLAK Sabre Jr made him pay with an armbar. Cogar was still dazed so Ryan broke the hold by hammering at SHLAK’s knee. MASADA brought out the tubes and carved away until Cogar blindsided him with a chair. MASADA got glassed and Cogar got stabbed as both teams kept trading, Ryan saving Cogar by breaking a bundle onto SHLAK. The fight was hard to keep track of as shit kept happening at a breakneck pace. No team had control for more than a few moments. Tubes and doors kept proving to be lifesavers as nobody was safe. Cogar was the last man standing and carved up SHLAK with another broken tube but SHLAK was soon sated by munching on glass.

Ryan took MASADA out of the fight with a chair slam smash and punched a bundle into SHLAK’s head. He turned around and took another chair to the face from MASADA and got suplexed onto cinderblocks. SHLAK had Cogar trapped in a crab and MASADA tried to choke Ryan out with a chair. Cogar broke free but MASADA just threw a door at him and slammed him back through it. Everything got chaotic again as more plunder and punch outs broke out. We get dual skewer Camel Clutches as MASADA and Cogar skewered their rival’s teammate. MASADA skewered Cogar too and smashed him in the back with a cinderblock. Cogar dodged literal death and gave MASADA the skewer treatment and drove him onto the cinderblocks with the Brain Haemorrhage but SHLAK made the save. SHLAK set up a glass pane and put Cogar through it with an Olympic Slam. Ryan swatted SHLAK with a chair and took the win with La Magistral, ending this bloodbath with technicality. The crowd were furious but once again, 44OH! conquered another deathmatch with pure wrestling. Everyone in this brawl had been taken to their limit with MASADA and SHLAK proving to this newer generation they can still kill. I feel incredibly sorry for Ryan’s back as it took a beating here and cannot wait to see if we get more from these four.

All images courtesy of NPU, Screenshots