WARNING: STRONG VIOLENCE AND LANGUAGE AHEAD
Welcome back to No Peace Underground and the return to the Soundbar. The violence had come home and it was going to get fucking wild. We had multiple matches ahead of us as equal opportunity violence came for everyone. On the card tonight we’d see the return of Keita as he took on Tye Hyll, Neil Diamond Cutter got a shot at Parrow’s NPU Title, the women had a five-way bloodbath and more leading to the gloriously violent return of the Gauntlet of Death, where seven fighters fought for their chance at No Peace Glory in the ultimate deathmatch. Let’s get into the carnage.
Tye Hyll defeated Keita via Door Sandwich Meteora
We opened with something exciting as Tye Hyll was returning to the Soundbar to show his blatant disregard for the laws of physics. This time he would be going against one of the Vegas show standouts, Keita. They opened with a lock-up exchange and started blasting each other in the face. Hyll bludgeoned Keita around the pit and tried to take Keita up to the stage only to get dropped to the floor. Keita chopped down Hyll and tried for a Tiger Driver but Hyll countered into a Butterfly DDT. He came at Keita with a chair but the shots fired him up and Keita used the chair for a face-breaker/up-kick combo. Keita broke the chair on Hyll’s back and tasted the steel when Hyll booted the chair into his face. Hyll then went all-out, dumping Keita on a door and launching off some fan’s shoulders to nail a Red Arrow. Keita kicked out and outmanoeuvred Hyll to Tiger Bomb him onto a chair platform. Hyll too kicked out so Keita choked him with a chair and started pelting him with chairs. Keita set up a tube door and the pair danced their way around it with counters. They punched it out on the stage and Hyll sent Keita reeling with a Superkick. Keita fell behind a door and Hyll sandwiched Keita between that and the tube door with a Meteora. That got the win and ended an excellent little opener. Hyll continues to innovate high-flying horror and Keita just keeps getting better with more opportunities.
NPU Title: Parrow defeated Neil Diamond Cutter via Fuckery Pile Chokeslam
Have you heard the story of David vs Goliath? That’s what we were about to see in deathmatch form. Neil Diamond Cutter had been given a title shot but that meant he had to fight the deathmatch daddy bear Parrow. This was going to get messy as they were battling over a new belt for a new era. Cutter charged at Parrow after his speech and got thrown through glass. Cutter kept getting up so Parrow dumped him through a door and against wall tubes. Cutter took tubes to Parrow’s legs and stapled various parts of his body. He cracked Parrow in the head with Bob and Parrow gave Cutter a tip by stapling a dollar to his tongue. He gave Cutter more staples and smashed tubes over his head. Both fighters got gussets to the head as Cutter found an equaliser in a kick to the dick. Parrow shook this off and hoisted Cutter up to throw him against the wall. Cutter went through another door and kept getting up again, so Parrow kept slamming him back down. He smashed a tube into Parrow with a pelted chair and landed a cutter into the chair pile. He hit Parrow from all angles with a chair and set up a guardrail but Parrow took the time to recover and smashed his face off a tube pile. Cutter took another tube to Parrow’s knee and hit the tube senton off the stage. He followed up with the Badger Bomb and had a wired frame brought out with added glass. They fought on the stage, looming over the fuckery pile as Cutter tried everything to get Parrow out of it. Cutter ran into a chokeslam and smashed down on the pile, giving Parrow the win. Another deathmatch veteran had fallen to the might of Parrow but it had taken everything Parrow had. I’m so happy Cutter is getting all this time to shine, he’s so goddamn fun. Just like this match was.
Jimmy Lloyd defeated Kevin Giza via Fuckery Pile Razor’s Edge
It was time for a battle of the young bulls as Jimmy Lloyd came home to give All Balls Kevin Giza a proper No Peace welcome. We’ve seen the pot-hating daredevil kill it in multiple promotions now, was he going to start out strong at the Soundbar? They opened with a tube duel and Giza launched Lloyd to the floor with a dropkick. He followed Lloyd down with a cannonball and pummelled Lloyd around the pit until Lloyd caught him into an electric chair drop across the guardrail. He gave Giza the tube treatment and tossed him into the guardrail again. Giza fell into the crowd and took another chair to the face then took more tubes on the stage. The Gorelando Death Squad kept Lloyd stocked with fuckery and Lloyd kept building a tower in-between sessions of beating Giza. Giza tried to come back but Lloyd whipped him into the wall and set up glass panes on the stage. He went through the first pane as Lloyd hit an Assault Driver and dropped Lloyd through the second with a Destroyer after forearming the hell out of him. Both kicked out at one and slugged it out. Giza dumped Lloyd on his head with a tilt-a-whirl DDT and tried to hit a ladder splash but Lloyd dodged and Giza ate nothing but tubes and shit. He hoisted Giza up and ended things with a Razor’s Edge into the fuckery pile. Once again, this was a fun little fight. It got very nasty and incredibly glassy very quick but it’s clear the pair work well together and used the environment to tell a fun little story full of bloody violence. Then all of that was sidetracked as Ronald McDonald hit Lloyd with light tubes.
Five-Way Bloodbath: Kasey Catal defeated Chelsea Durden, Sawyer Wreck, Kennedi Copeland & Kelsey Raegan via Brandon Kirk attacking everyone
Next up was something chaotic. Five women were going to step into the Soundbar with only one walking away the winner. We had the monster Sawyer Wreck, the deviously deadly Kasey Catal, the Hardcore Daughter Kennedi Copeland, the debuting Chelsea Durden, and the return of the man-made Monstress Kelsey Raegan. This was going to get ugly. Oh, and Brandon Kirk was tagging along so fuck the Kirks. Everyone opened the match by hitting Catal with tubes then Wreck broke everyone with a SuperCollider into a stage Powerbomb. Durden tubed Wreck, Copeland tubed Durden, and Raegan kicked the hell out of Copeland. Durden took over again by crushing Raegan against the guardrail and dumped her on a tube pile with a side slam. Copeland stabbed up Durden and Wreck dragged Catal back into the fight to give her a gusset to the head. Copeland tried to win with a stage triangle but Raegan rolled in next to her to choke her out with a handstand head-scissor. Wreck chose the brute force option and broke the submission chain by throwing Catal at them. She gathered up the bodies and Copeland fell onto everyone with a Trust fall. She tried to celebrate but Wreck cut her off by stabbing syringes through her cheeks. Raegan hopped on Wreck’s back but Wreck was unphased and carried her like a backpack to the bar for a slam. Durden followed with a tube and hammered Wreck on the bar top too, drowning her with Liquid Death. Raegan took advantage of the chaos with a Meteora off the bar but once again, Wreck just got angry and rammed her into everyone else. The pair traded sadistic shots until Wreck put down the aggressive Raegan with a backhand. The other three had returned to the pit and Copeland attacked with a broom. Durden and Copeland work to destroy Catal, setting up a door. Wreck and Raegan continued to brawl at the bar as Copeland and Durden tried to Suplex Catal through the door. Catal hit both women low and bounced both onto the door with a bulldog. Wreck ambushed Catal and slammed her off the stage to the floor. Brandon had seen enough and attacked Wreck. He kept the others at bay with tubes and pulled his wife onto Wreck for the win. Kasey Catal had taken the win but I don’t think she was even conscious enough to enjoy it. This was pure pandemonium, leading to a whole lot of memorable spots and nasty exchanges.
Wolfe Taylor defeated Wild West Segrest via Step-on Face Claw
A surprise match followed next as Wolfe Taylor rocked up to No Peace. It’s been a while since we’ve seen the Deadbeat in action and now, he was going against the debuting Deathmatch Cowboy Wild West Segrest. This was Segrest’s chance to steal a spotlight as she had been the one to answer the Deadbeat’s caustically delivered open challenge. Segrest introduced herself, the fan’s already knowing her, and got slapped for it. Taylor beat down Segrest with chops and punches whilst flipping off the fans and trying to shut them down. The cowboy was cut up with tubes and took a trip into the crowd as Taylor just kept destroying. Segrest dragged herself out of the crowd as Taylor set up a door and chopped away on her again. Segrest slapped back and tried for a ripcord Slingblade but was blocked by Taylor and chokeslammed through the tube door. Taylor could have ended it there but instead dragged up Segrest and tapped her out with a step-on face claw. Taylor had made a very nasty point at the expense of Segrest here, showing his disgust with No Peace and wreaking some momentary havoc. Here’s to hoping Segrest gets another shot, I’d love to see the Deathmatch Cowboy in a less one-sided match.
AJ Gray defeated Mickie Knuckles via Tube Door Cactus Piledriver
Okay, time to get vicious. The heavy-hitters were out as Mickie Knuckles was squaring up to the motherfucking Truth AJ Gray. These two are just at home using their fists as they were with the fuckery on offer. This match was going to leave a mark. They opened with heavy forearms and Knuckles upped the ante with headbutts. Gray gave her a tube and the pair duelled. Knuckles hit him in the rib with it and smashed more tubes across his back. A tube headbutt followed and Gray threw more forearms to open Knuckles up for more tubes to the head and shoulders. A barrage of tube shots couldn’t keep Knuckles down and the pair were right back to throw hands. Knuckles stunned Gray again with a Fisherman’s Suplex and took one of her battle axes to his head. Gray returned the favour with a broken tube and downed her with a pelted chair. He tried to powerbomb her through a door but Knuckles held on and headbutted him in the cock. Knuckles blasted him in the head with a knee and acquiesced to the fan’s chants by twisting his dick. Gray batted away another attempt so Knuckles went after the sack with her teeth. She set up a tube barfight and traded hands and tubes until Gray turned Knuckles’ battle-axe on her. The doors came into play and Gray’s body broke the first one after a German Suplex. He got revenge with neck chops and a devastating Chokeslam onto the stage. He covered another door in tubes and delivered the killing blow with a Cactus Piledriver onto it. Knuckles had left him bloody and bruised but he’d come out the other side alive and kicking. This was a fight pure and simple with two brute force fighters testing the other’s mettle.
Gauntlet of Death: Jason Gory defeated DMC via Meat Hook Stretch
Last but not least, the main event. Seven fighters were billed for this fight but so far, we only knew six of them. The first two up were DMC taking on the debuting Jason Gory. Who was going to pass stage one and what would be left of them? Gory came at DMC with a hook but DMC dodged, blocked, and knocked Gory loopy with a Hangman’s flipping knee. DMC threw Gory around the pit and countered Gory’s comeback into a guardrail flapjack. He crowd-surfed into a Tornado DDT and built a f*ck you contraption out of chairs. He straight-up tossed Gory into it and superkicked him onto a door. He climbed up to the balcony for the New Jack chair drop but Gory dodged and DMC crashed through his own creation. Gory took advantage with chair shots and bites then hit a Bastard Driver through a chair. He retrieved his meat hook and ended this stage with a meat hooked stretch. Gory started on the back foot but used DMC’s ambition against him and took the win. That being said DMC is fucking awesome.
Gauntlet of Death: Remington Rhor defeated Jason Gory via Tube Door Crash
The action continued as Remington Rhor the Carnivore was out next and swinging at Gory with a machete. Gory bit free of a Chokeslam but Rhor pounced and Gory splatted off wall tubes. He threw Gory into the pit and bit a tube into a stabbing tool. Rhor got bitey and pelted Gory with more tubes. He slammed Gory onto the stage and assaulted him again with chairs. Gory struck back but Rhor caught him out of the air into a Go-Home Backbreaker. Rhor pounced Gory through another railing but Gory turned it into a hanging choke. He pelted Rhor with more tubes and broke more into his chest with double knees. Another door was set up and as Gory tried to go for the kill, Rhor Suplexed him onto the stage. He covered the door in tubes and launched Gory off the stage for the win. Gory did well to last as long as he did but Rhor is an animal and killed him off to continue.
Gauntlet of Death: Randi West defeated Remington Rhor via Tube Drop
Randi West was out next. The Toughest Broad had finally made a No Peace appearance and instantly jumped on Rhor’s back for a choke. Rhor shook her off and went right after her with tubes to the skull. He cut up the deathmatch veteran with a machete Camel Clutch and the pair teed off on each other with hands, chairs, and tubes. Rhor smashed West with a pelted chair and broke a door with a Running Powerslam. West struck back again and sent Rhor staggering with a cock shot. She booted tubes into Rhor’s chest and Rhor hammered her back to the stage. Things went from bad to worse as Rhor broke another door with a horrifying Glam Slam. That still wasn’t enough to end West so Rhor set up a glass pane. He took too much time and West hit him with a Backdrop Driver onto tubes. West booted him into the pane and nailed him with more tubes then kicked him through the pane with a basement dropkick. West followed up with a tube drop and took the win. The Carnivore had been eliminated and West had already lived up to her toughest broad in the business moniker with this madness.
Gauntlet of Death: Brandon Kirk defeated Randi West via Roll-up
The detestable one returned to the pit next as Brandon Kirk made his second appearance of the night. He wasn’t going to have an easy time dealing with West but his job had been made a bit easier by the hellacious beating from Rhor. He tried to get cocky instantly so West cut him off with a tube to the sack and a fist to the face. She took more elbows and tubes to Kirk then caved in his chest with a knee and boot. That got two so West set up for a Tiger Driver but Kirk fought free and rolled up West to eliminate her from the Gauntlet. West had just gone through hell only for Kirk to smugly roll her up after she’d kicked his ass.
Gauntlet of Death: Bam Sullivan defeated Brandon Kirk via Revenge Combo
Kirk could only be smug for so long as Bam Sullivan was out next and he was going to get nasty. It was time for more heavy-hitting and two practitioners of the art. He brained Kirk with tubes and threw him through a door for giving him the finger. Kirk rolled off the stage so Sullivan flew at him with a tube cannonball. He kept breaking some glass on Kirk and carved into him with tube devil horns. Things went from bad to worse as Bam took a broken tube right to the bunghole of Kirk and spanked him with the remains. He kept the crowd’s catharsis going with a gusset to the head but the posturing got too much and Kirk nailed him with a tube. He dropped Sullivan on more with a backdrop and broke one in his mouth. It was Kirk’s turn to get cocky as he teased the end but threw Bam aside to get another implement from backstage. He covered the door in lighter fluid and set it alight, only for Bam to pounce him into it. Sullivan set the door up again and dumped Kirk on it but Kirk had a tube and interrupted the fun. Kirk broke the door with a DVD and fought up to the stage where he hit Sullivan with a ripcord lariat and broke a chair with a piledriver. Kirk set up a final set of tubes and prepared to Curb Stomp when Neil Diamond Cutter appeared. Cutter distracted Kirk and Sawyer Wreck blasted him with tubes. Cutter landed a cutter and ordered Sullivan to pin him.
Gauntlet of Death: Atticus Cogar defeated Bam Sullivan via Brain Haemorrhage
Last but not least, the final competitor. The mystery fighter turned out to be none other than the Silver Teeth Satan Atticus Cogar. The stain of 44OH! had been removed from the title scene but now Cogar could return it with a title shot. Bam was a bloody mess and Cogar was ready to pick the bones. Sullivan tried to remain defiant but a superkick put him on his face. He skewered Sullivan’s mouth and stabbed skewers and glass into various parts of Sullivan’s body. Cogar just dismantled Sullivan and the fuckery around him. Chairs and glass fell on Sullivan but he wouldn’t stay down. Cogar was full of sadistic glee as he mutilated Sullivan with more tubes and skewers. Bam came back with his tube rolling elbow and made Cogar pay with tube shots. Cogar seemed unfazed though and dropped Sullivan across the stage with an Air Raid Crash. Sullivan kept getting up though so Cogar set up a fuckery tower. A slugfest broke out on the stage as Sullivan made a last-ditch effort. Cogar rocked Sullivan with a super bundle and quashed any resistance with a tube low blow. The Brain Haemorrhage followed and Cogar won leaving the fuckery pile unused…
Or so we thought. As Cogar soaked in this mixed reaction, his thoughts of a future title shot were blindsided by a foe he thought he’d left behind. Markus Crane appeared behind Cogar and launched him into the fuckery pile with his riot shield. He stood tall and pelted that shield at Cogar again. Payback is a bitch and now a No Peace OG on the road to return was gunning for him. Pride comes before a fall and tonight, for Cogar, it was a very painful fall. Holy shit, this show rocked. All the matches were tight, the new faces added a whole ton and the matches all had a different type of value to them. Parrow has Cogar to look forward to down the line and I can’t wait to see what happens next in that chapter.
All images courtesy of NPU, Harry Aaron