WARNING: STRONG VIOLENCE AHEAD
It’s spooky season once again. You know what that means. It’s time to dive into another 31 deadly, bloody, horrifying deathmatches as we go into the 3rd annual deathmatch calendar. As always, this will be a day-by-day calendar of gore as we break into some of the greatest, nastiest, and most infamous of deathmatches across the years culminating with my pick of the year so far at the number 31 spot. With the preamble out of the way, let’s see what is awaiting us in this year’s tour of wrestling terror.
Asylum Wrestling Revolution. A place where the lunatics often run the asylum. AWR has been another budding home for deathmatch wrestling as not only does it boast its own deathmatch tournament, it brings in the best, the brightest, and the veterans of the game to grace its walls and rings on a daily basis. One of the regulars there is none other than SteelChair Favourite AKIRA. In March, he took part in one of the craziest matches I’d seen pre-War Games. He was taking the main event slot of Mercyful Fate Part 2 in a Pools of Fuckery match against one of deathmatch wrestling’s toughest warriors, Mickie F’N Knuckles. They had plenty of time and plenty of tools to mess each other up with as well as the pools of lemon juice and rubbing alcohol. Someone was going to get fucked up during this one. Even the commentators had a hard time keeping their shit together as they tried to commentate on the violence going on in front of and around them.
The pair opened with pool dancing and chain wrestling as both fighters did what they could to avoid going for a painful swim. They slugged it out and AKIRA sent Knuckles into one of the pools with a Kappu Kick. He double stomped her in further and brained her with a water jug when she crawled out. The jug broke so AKIRA trapped Knuckles’ head in it and booted it as hard as he could. Knuckles fired back with a barbed-wire board Suplex but AKIRA grabbed a tiki torch and broke it over her head. AKIRA carved up Knuckles and Knuckles cut up AKIRA with more barbed-wire. Knuckles started beating the shit out of AKIRA and the fight broke to the outside. She lit AKIRA up with headbutts and slugs but a broken chair proved to be her undoing as he stunned her with a trip onto it. Knuckles was dazed so AKIRA dropped a TV on her head. She wouldn’t stay down so he tried to mangle her arm around the ring posts. Despite that, Knuckles chopped back hard so AKIRA tried to KO her again with a gusset to the head and a ring post ram. Again, Knuckles fought through and smashed AKIRA into the infamous TV. AKIRA’s head met the TV more times and Knuckles took the fight to the actual streets. The pair fought in the middle of the road and smacked each other around cars, rails, and the fans that had followed them out. They slowly returned towards the venue, stopping in the lobby to have a barfight, and eventually returned to the ringside area for more nightmarish bumps into weaponry. The pair broke tubes and bundles on each other and Knuckles escaped a submission with a skewered-up pool noodle. That noodle came into play again as AKIRA used it minutes later for a Crossface. It just kept getting worse as neither fighter would say die, no matter what was done to them. AKIRA stuck a syringe through Knuckles’ cheek and locked in a Camel Clutch. He went to town with a tack bat and Knuckles slammed him through another bundle. The pair traded battle axe submissions and they fought towards another pool. Knuckles slammed AKIRA through bundles into the pool and fought off one last gasp submission to win with a bridging pin. This was pure anarchy across half an hour. Once again AKIRA and Knuckles found a way to mix deathmatch messiness with wrestling and had a ton of fun with it. Come back tomorrow for the next deathmatch delight.
All images courtesy of AWR