Welcome back to H2O and to what could potentially be the biggest show for the company to date. This was the show to bring back the Bulldozer, to finally give Atsushi Onita and Matt Tremont the deathmatch they craved so badly and the show to bring more explosions to the US. Alongside this monumental match we’d see, the H2O Hideki Hosaka Memorial Rumble, a 5-way battle for the Hybrid Title, multi-team chaos for the tag titles, and a 12-person tag bout pitting team H2O against 44OH! plus much much more leading to that killer main event. There’s a lot to break down so let’s waste no more time and get into the carnage.

Ryan Redfield defeated Deklan Grant (w/Jess Moss), GG Everson & Adonis Valerio via Red Dead Redemption on Everson

The show opened with some Rising Star warfare. Fresh off some hot matches and bitter losses, we’d see four of the best students in the company square off and beat the hell out of each other. Deklan Grant, GG Everson, Ryan Redfield, and newly-minted Hustle Cup winner Adonis Valerio were going to make the most of the opening match spotlight. That’s exactly what they did, this was an all-gas no brakes type of match where everyone started fast, hit faster, and made sure to get their greatest hits in. Valerio and Grant seemed determined to kill each other, GG Everson spent as much time fighting the crowd as his opponents and Redfield picked his moments after spending half the match as everyone’s punching bag. It was short, sweet, and showed everyone off well which is exactly what you want from a contest like this.

H2O Tag Titles Lucha Rules: Chris Bradley & Kristian Ross defeated Bobby Dempsey & Myke Quest, Jeff Cannonball & Terra Calaway & White Trash Forever (Bruce Grey & Tyler Voxx) via Slambomb Splash on Voxx

Up next was some tag team chaos. Chris Bradley and Kristian Ross had thrown out an opening challenge to everyone and now came the time to answer. We already knew two teams were picking up the gauntlet, H2O trainers Bobby Dempsey and Myke Quest and former H2O Tag Champion Jeff Cannonball teaming up with his partner in life, the Queen of the Dinosaurs, Terra Calaway. However, another pair wanted in on the action too, White Trash Forever, Bruce Grey, and Tyler Voxx. This was Calaway’s return from injury and Grey’s first match without a sling, how were they going to fare in their returns? Well, they both lost, but they certainly gave everyone hell whilst they were in the ring. This was just pure multi-person chaotic fun. There was excellent tag wrestling, fun double-team combos, WTF trying to make a white trash finger poke of doom spot, Cannonball busting out the Mack Driver, the infinite sleeper line, Bruce Grey flirting with Jeff Cannonball in front of his wife and so much more sprinkled throughout. Each team brought something different to the table and they all meshed to create this hectic sprint of weird and wonderful wrestling with the champions retaining with more hoss-powered horror moves. Excellent fun all-around.

H2O Hybrid Title: Kennedi Copeland defeated Masha Slamovich, Kasey Kirk, Mickie Knuckles & Jenny Rose via Jack-Knife Alabama Slam on Kirk

Last month, Kennedi Copeland made H2O history, she defeated Gregory Iron to become the first-ever female Hybrid Champion. The night before had been another big win (more coming soon on that) and now, she was up for her first defence. Tremont clearly has faith in her as she was against four of the toughest women on the planet. She’d have to fend off Kasey Kirk, the Russian Dynamite Masha Slamovich, Mickie Knuckles, and H2O Trainer Jenny Rose if she wanted to leave the stadium with her title. The Fuck the Kirks chants started early for Kasey and she got jumped by Copeland as Knuckles and Rose brawled. Slamovich put her feet up and watched the chaos. Knuckles forced the action up a level by bowling out three fighters with a dive and Slamovich dived on the survivors with a cannonball. She picked on Copeland and destroyed everyone in her way until she was bounced off a tree of woe-prone Kirk. That didn’t knock Kirk down though so everyone was thrown into her until she fell. Everyone killed everyone and Knuckles made Kirk hurt again by slamming Copeland onto her. Knuckles and Slamovich headbutted the fuck out of each other and everyone went after each other again with a devastating amount of head drops. Copeland picked her moment and took out Kirk with an Alabama Slam to take the win. This was another mix of pandemonium and wrestling with a lot of the brawling giving me ideas for singles matches I really want to see.

Hideki Hosaka/Bad Boy Hido/Danny Havoc Memorial Rumble: Chainsaw Tony defeated Alex Stretch, Bam Sullivan, Brandon Kirk, Casanova Valentine, Conor Claxton, Crazy Ivan, Dan O’Hare, Drew Blood, Frankie Pickard, Kaide Lothbrok, Larry Legend, Lowlife Louie, Marc Angel, Mouse, Neil Diamond Cutter, Robby Illuminati, Robby Mireno, Ruckus & Sean Henderson via survival

The chaos continued with the triple memorial rumble. We’d have a staggered inflow of wrestlers rushing the ring with weapons allowed and no holds barred. The only way to lose was to go over the top rope with no other way to lose. There were a whole host of wrestlers from across the spectrum of wrestling and they had brought a whole host of toys with them. Kirk couldn’t even get into the match as he was handcuffed to the top rope and just called the plays without getting in. Colourful weapons, colourful characters, and notorious villains all entered the match and were quickly thrown out again as once the eliminations started they barely slowed down. Even Larry Legend entered this one. The Extricated eliminated each other and everyone fled from the wildcard Chainsaw Tony. The action kept piling on with little feuds paying dividends and eliminations coming thick and fast. Kirk tried to enter when the numbers were low but Claxton was sure he was thrown out too. In the end, it came to Kaide Lothbrok and Chainsaw Tony with Tony’s namesake scoring him the win. it was one hell of an effort from Lothbrok lasting from the first lot to the last but alas, he didn’t have a chainsaw so he fell short. There was so much going on in this one it was hard to document so just watch it for yourself to see the anarchy.

12-man Survival: Team H2O (Chuck Payne, Devon Moore, Lucky 13, Jimmy Lyon, Ron Mathis & SHLAK w/Markus Crane) defeated 44OH! (Rickey Shane Page, Atticus Cogar, Eric Ryan, Eddy Only, Bobby Beverly & Gregory Iron) via The Fuckdriver on Iron

Once again, it wouldn’t be an H2O show without 44OH! They’ve really become synonymous with H2O now even if it’s for all the wrong reasons. This time they were out in force as the full unit was taking on the H2O army. Whilst we knew who was in it for 44OH! some of the team H2O guys were a mystery. We had all the recently aggravated in Payne, Moore and Mathis whilst also featuring H2O stalwarts Lucky 13 and Jimmy Lyon. Rounding out the team was Public Animal Number One, no God only SHLAK. It started as a regular tag bout with 44OH! being dicks as always and Iron almost giving the match away early. SHLAK brought the chaos but 44OH! regained control and bullied Lyon with their full ranks. RSP tried to embarrass Lyon by getting Only and Iron to give him a face-full of ass but Lyon ducked and Page got a more personal than usual view of his subordinates. SHLAK wrecked the 44OH! house and this match became a continuous one-upmanship contest between the two factions. Old wars were dug up and Lyon got to feel the lime skewers of Cogar then took another round of 44OH! punishment. Just as hope looked lost, Markus Crane appeared, he’d been training like hell at the H2O centre and he was going to take a pound of flesh, probably Cogar’s. He distracted 44OH! and gave H2O the chance to ambush and break some skulls. Iron was left alone and begged SHLAK not to hurt him, even kissing his boot. SHLAK of course didn’t let up and set Iron up for an H8 Trash Disaster Reunion Fuckdriver. He threw Lyon on top of the dead body and H2O took the win. it had been a hard-fought battle but some unexpected allies had come through for H2O and led them to victory. It was a tough one to watch at times but it had fun moments and tension which is what you’d want from faction warfare.

Jimmy Lloyd & G-Raver defeated Austin Luke & Marcus Mathers via Piledriver to Mathers

Plans often change and we’d found that foes had to become allies here as EFFY was out and Jimmy Lloyd was in to team with G-Raver against the star students, Austin Luke and Marcus Mathers. Whilst Luke and especially Mathers are setting the world on fire right now, this was an ultimate challenge on the ultimate platform, would they step up and best two of the scene’s best? What followed was a long, plunder bout with the kids fighting up as Raver and Lloyd managed to shake off old grudges and work together. It was hardly a tag match and more just a tornado brawl that spanned the whole ringside. There were multiple scary spots and awful landings but that’s kind of the MO for most of the people involved here. The Kids really brought the fight to the veterans and we ended up with a slightly long but enjoyable fuckery fest that made everyone look good. Again, there’s not too much to say as there was a lot of action to enjoy and everyone brought their A-Game for it, risking life and limb on the stadium stage and G-Raver having one of the nastiest landings I’ve seen in some time. Austin and Mathers definitely made the most of this and hopefully, they get another shot at these two in the future as there’s definitely some chemistry here. Or at least there was until Luke broke the pair up by nearly decapitating Mathers. I guess the Anti-Hero wants to break out on his own. It was a sad end as we’d already seen the kids implode once.

Exploding Barbed-Wire Deathmatch: Atsushi Onita defeated Matt Tremont via Flaming Barbed-wire Board

Last but not least, the main event. The match that brought the Bulldozer back, the match that meant everything, Matt Tremont vs Atsushi Onita, exploding barbed-wire deathmatch. This was it. The show had built up nicely but now it was time for the fireworks. We’ve seen the hell both guys have gone through separately, what would they go through together? It was time to find out as they had wire, bundles and landmines to punish each other with. Onita wasn’t waiting either, he made his entrance and instantly battered Tremont with a barbed-wire bat. He tried to pull Tremont’s face apart and bust him open with a bat shot right onto the horn. He brained Tremont with an FMW-E chair and knocked him on his arse with a bundle to the head. Onita threw Tremont to the outside and they brawled to the barricade. Tremont woke up and defiantly punched back, knocking Onita down with a third blow to the jaw. He grabbed a bundle and smashed it onto Onita’s head, carving up his forehead with a broken tube. Tremont nailed Onita with the red mist but it seemed to have little effect and Onita nailed him with a bundle to the gut. They took the fight to the apron and nearly ended up in the explosives. It was Tremont’s turn to grab a barbed-wire bat and teed up a shot on Onita when Onita channelled Great Nita and blinded him with red mist. Tremont fell to the mat blinded and Onita murdered him with more bundles and bat shots. Tremont fell from the apron and blew up on the landmines, setting off an entire fireworks display in the process.

Tremont was a blackened mess but somehow was still kicking so Onita let off a fireball in his face. Tremont remained defiant so Onita pushed the button and charged up the explosive bundle. Onita broke it over his head and once again covered Tremont in flame but somehow the Bulldozer kicked out. Now Onita was mad. He had a giant barbed-wire board brought in and set it alight, even hitting Tremont with the Firestarter as he waited for it to properly ignite. When it was burning strong, he threw Tremont in and pinned him to take the match. Tremont had been cut, blasted and set on fire throughout the course of this one. That is pure fucking dedication to the arts. This was anything but cheap and a hell of a scary one. This lived up to the hype and was seriously fun to watch even if I was screaming WTF at multiple points. Destiny had brought these two together and now they had torn each other apart. Through it all, they hugged it out and Onita promised to bring more explosion matches with him. Tremont had given him the authentic deathmatch experience and put on one of the most explosive shows to date.

All images courtesy of H2O, HeyImRob, Earl Gardner

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