Right here, right now. Happy Day 329 of 2021. Episode 47. A long time ago, IMPACT Wrestling was asking a terrible question for its roster for Thanksgiving: who is going to don the Turkey Suit? Two years ago, we made a fly back to 1983 for a very unique episode of IPWF: Throwback Throwdown. Right here, right now. This week is all about Thanksgiving and we will spend it at Wrestle House for an episode that will be far away from the fallout of Turning Point.
On the menu, this week, from Las Vegas, Nevada, the 4 members of Decay, Eddie and Alisha Edwards, Johnny Swinger, Hernandez, The Swingerellas, Chris Sabin, Larry D, Willie Mack, John E. Bravo, Madison Rayne and Kaleb with a K will make us live their adventures So no more words, let’s get ready for some action, but your French Enygma Steph way, of course…


D’Lo Brown and Matt Striker were on commentary. On ‘Before The Impact‘, Chris Bey w/ Kikuleo defeated Fallah Bahh.

  • This Thanksgiving fairytale story was narrated for you by Father James Mitchell. He reminded us of the first season, the wedding that followed, also the murder and the trial. And the end of Swinger’s Palace.

  • Seven days before Thanksgiving, the cast was teleported to the house. The Swingerellas asked what the hell this is and Crazy Steve said it’s Wrestle House. Alisha called it the best wrestling reality show ever. Kaleb was excited to be on a reality show but had to fake it. Swinger said Wrestle House is the worst reality show ever and wanted to leave but Rosemary reminded him that’s not possible.

  • Kaleb and Madison Rayne explained they don’t want to be on a reality show and ask how long they’ll be here. Rosemary said as long as it takes but Hernandez said no. If they’re stuck there because of a spell, they need answers. Rosemary replied they’re here as long as it takes to make Swinger happy again. Alisha asked if they’re supposed to believe they’re here for that alone and Rosemary said, of course. In her defence, they were misled and that they thought Swinger would be happy upon arrival. Madison asked if anyone here even really likes Swinger. No one seemed to say they do and Rosemary recognized that she thought they had one more mortal with them.

  • Chris Sabin made a slow-motion sexy entrance and all of the ladies started to go crazy. Sabin asked Riley about her cat’s diabetes and Rosemary asked where he’s been. He got here early and claimed a room, he was in the shower. Alisha rushed to get a room but Sabin said he’s pretty sure there’s room for everybody. Everyone started to find rooms and Kaleb asked whose house this is. Bravo told Rosemary he appreciates them doing this even it’s going to cost them his soul.

  • Six Days Till Thanksgiving – Everyone was deliberating over how to make Swinger happy and they discussed his former love interests. One of the Swingerellas came out of the bathroom and ran into Kaleb. Kaleb asked if she’s ever modelled before and handed her a card. Sabin steamed his way into the room. Kaleb accidentally ran into Sabin and blamed it on Sabin walking around with fog and in slow motion. Kaleb said Sabin is trolling him because he’s all-moist. Sabin said he didn’t come here to embarrass him but if he wants to he can and we go to our first match. Sabin said, “I love this match,” and Alisha said that’s it for our first match as Swinger asked everyone to keep it down.

  • Kaleb with a K vs Chris Sabin – Father James Mitchell, Doctor Ross and Sinn Bodhi were on commentary, Bravo was the referee – Mitchell asked Dr Ross what that move is going to do to the shoulder socket. Wrestling slow motion too. Sabin won, and he was still steaming…

  • Five Days Till Thanksgiving, Black Taurus was reading a book at the table. Everyone else was messing around in the kitchen and Madison asked what’s going on here. Kaleb asked what the awful smell is and Swingerella #1 says it’s been here the whole time but she doesn’t mind. Madison asked if she’s the only one with a sense of urgency to get them out of here. She slammed Taurus’ book and we cut away to him saying no one respects the classics anymore. The Decay discussed how they’re leaving for their match at Turning Point. Everyone was pissed they get to leave.

  • More Smoke-Show Sabin steam, he’s allowed to leave for his match too. Kaleb handed him a shirt and said no more excuses. Sabin put on a downtown Daddy Brown one. Madison and Alisha did an interview and said they’re the only ones who care about Swinger. Madison said she just wants to get out of here. They came back and ran down their plan to cheer up Swinger. John E. Bravo put in a tape, throwback to IWPF with Downtown Daddy Brown taking on Julian Cumberbun. Swingerella #1 asks who they are, Steve said it looks like the Karaté man. Madison told us that we have to reunite Swinger with the other guy, Downtown Daddy Brown. Hernandez said how can they make this happen if they can’t leave.

  • Madison told them to ask Rosemary to teleport him here to reunite them. Kaleb said, don’t search #SwingerReunion because you won’t like what you see. Bravo got Swinger to come but he didn’t want to get pants on initially. They brought Swinger to the living room to see Downtown Daddy Brown. Blindfolds were removed and they were mad. Brown called him a b*tch and Swinger told him to give it a rest old-timer. They went back and forth and Downtown Daddy Brown said he’ll come out of retirement to fight Swinger. Sabin popped up and said, I LOVE THIS MATCH!

  • Brown vs Swinger – Mitchell asked if Dr Ross did Brown’s hip surgery he says he has and hoped to do his next few. Brown won despite a referee bump. Swingerella #1 came to Swinger’s rescue.

  • Four Days Till Thanksgiving – Back in the House, Swinger was heated. Alisha told him the only reason they’re stuck here is to make him happy. Swinger said his life may be in the toilet but all these mizzarks are stuck here with him. He said he’s never going to cheer up and never going to be thankful. He spat on the floor. Mitchell explained this is how the Swingman stole Thanksgiving…

  • Sabin was playing the piano, without smoking. Women were all around, men behind. Alisha asked if they’re really going to be stuck here forever. Madison said this is all her fault. Rosemary says if they didn’t blab they’d be fine. Alisha asks why they couldn’t tell him. Madison says they’re not stuck here because of Swinger, they’re stuck here because of Rosemary. Rosemary said they agreed to be here and they’re here as long as it takes. Madison said that a deal with the devil can be renegotiated and told Kaleb to put a tape down. Hernandez, Alisha, Kaleb and Madison stood on one side. Sabin teased joining them but didn’t. Sabin says he loved Swinger’s Palace so he owes him. Bravo decided to stick around as well. Sabin said it’s up to Riley, aka Swingerella #2. Kaleb said they’d never reject her. Alisha set up a match and said if they’re going to have a match, they have to make it even and let Eddie here. Eddie Edwards got teleported. Kaleb hoped his entrance was not in slow motion, Steve told him no one was in the House, Kaleb just goes crazy. Everybody was singing his entrance, even Taurus who grunted it. Sabin then said I LOVE THIS MATCH.

  • Alisha, Madison, Eddie, Hernandez & Kaleb vs Rosemary, Taurus, Sabin, Havok & Steve – Riley was the referee. Bodhi asked how many will get into the ring for the multiperson suplex. Everyone got in and attempted it but team Sabin just settled for biting their opponents’ faces. Team Rosemary won.

  • After the match, Madison and Kaleb argued but Kaleb discussed his affinity for reality shows. Back to the house, Alisha explained to Eddie what’s going on. He said he didn’t watch Wrestle House 1 because it was “too much gaga.” Rosemary talked to Swingerella #1 and asked if she has feelings for Swinger. She said she does but she can’t act on them because he doesn’t feel the same. Rosemary had a plan and said we have to speak to the Lord of the Manor.

  • Three Days Till Thanksgiving – Rosemary had Swingerella #1 with her to talk to the Lord of the Manor. Around the snooker table, Edwards was discussing everything that’s happened with everyone. Rosemary walked up with Havok and Swingerella #1. Swinger walked up in his gear with a fanny pack on interrupting everyone, shoved Swingerella #1 out of the room. She pretended to walk in with her new boyfriend and introduced Lawrence D and he walked in slow motion (only Kaleb saw it). Swingerella #1 said Lawrence looks handsome today. He sprayed the nasty cologne on himself. Swinger walked up and Swingerella asked if he knows who Lawence D is, she said she doesn’t know what the D stands for. Swinger burped his pleasure to see him. They said great job bringing him here accomplished nothing. Rosemary said this is his house. Crazzy Steve said him being here means they can finally play the Wrestle House 2 opening theme song because the whole cast is here. Bravo told Swingerella #2 and Lawrence they don’t have to fake date anymore. Madison said it’s never going to work but Havok said it’s not true they just have to find someone that can get through to him. Steve said he thinks he knows just the right person.

  • Locker Room Talk with Madison Rayne and her guest, Johnny Swinger. She asked what he’s thankful for. He said his life is in ruins, it ain’t easy being Johnny Parizi. She welcomed the lead singer of KISS, Gene Simmons. Swinger couldn’t believe he was really here. He said there’s an impersonator. Gene asked if he caught the guy’s name and Swinger said his name was The Demon. Gene said The Demon was alright. Gene talked to him about his lifestyle and said he needs to find a woman who cares about him and that it’s the rarest thing in the world. Swinger said that means a lot coming from Gene Simmons, so he has places to go. Madison thanked the Demon and said that may have actually worked. No, that wasn’t Gene…

  • Two Days Till Thanksgiving – The sofas were stacked. Alisha asked Steve when they’ll know if his idea worked. Kaleb asked if they are even trying to make it work no one is even using the confessional. Eddie and Alisha Edwards went into the confessional and started making out. They asked Kaleb why he even wants to stay and ask if he pretended to hate it for Madison. He said he doesn’t care what Madison says as she walked up and he said he was possessed. Madison interrupted him and said Steve’s idea worked.

  • Swinger walked in in a great mood. He says he was haunted by the ghosts of the past but Gene Simmons “cocked his love gun” and shot Swinger full of wisdom. All he needs is his love. He said Swingerella #1 was named that because she’s his number one. He tried to tell his love for her but Lawrence was mad, he said that’s a Lawrence girl you’re talking to. Rosemary tried to calm down Lawrence but Swinger said, don’t worry about it, he’s a man who will fight for her honour. Rosemary said there’s no need to fight, Lawrence is a lover, not a fight. Lawrence said she’s right but sometimes you have to fight for what you love. Sabin rolled over the coffee table and said I LOVE THIS MATCH!

  • Swinger vs Lawrence D – Swinger won despite the perfume. Swingerella #1 got into the ring with Swinger, he opened the ropes for her like a gentleman. He got down on one knee and opened up his fanny pack. He started tossing items out of his fanny pack and pulled out a ring. He said there’s only one question all of these ham and eggers want to know, is it no or is it yes. She said yes and the crowd started chanting for Swinger to kiss her. Alisha said she’s so excited for both of them, Madison was excited to finally get out of here but then guessed it’s kind of cute, just don’t tell anyone she said that. Rosemary says that no one is going anywhere until they get to the alter.

  • The day before Thanksgiving – Eddie was talking to Alisha about getting out of here. Alisha said it’s a huge deal for Swingerella #1. Swinger said he’s so nervous he’s got the runs. Alisha said he doesn’t have a good history with weddings. Doesn’t he remember what he did at the last wedding? Eddie said it was Ace Austin’s fault and she says prove it and behave at this one. Swinger said Hernandez is just the MexiCool he was looking for and asked Hernandez to be the best man. Edwards said they can plan the bachelor party. Swinger said no bachelor party, he’s a changed man plus he’s already had seven in the past. Hernandez was sketched out by the wedding but Alisha blew it off and said let’s get him a suit. Swingerella #1 was talking to Swingerella #2 and they discussed the wedding. Riley/Swingerella #2 said she’s going with Kaleb. Bravo was talking to Rosemary and they got interrupted by Hernandez who said he’s not letting it happen but he is. I love that match?

  • Hernandez vs Taurus – Taurus won. After the match, Hernandez asked if Rosemary had to ruin his pants, she said only if he didn’t ruin their plans. Rosemary wiped Hernandez’s memory. She talked to Hernandez and asked if he thinks anything is up, he said Team 3D is up to something and he has to find Homicide and Konnan. Back in the House, Alisha ran into Hernandez and asked him about the wedding. He walked off chanting ECW. Bravo came up and told Alisha he put all of this together. Bravo said everything that happens here is all because of him.

  • Thanksgiving Day – Rosemary and Bravo met up in the hallway and he said this might not go how she expected. She told him it better happen or she’ll seal his fate. Eddie was listening and he said he knew it, Hernandez was right. She put her hands to his face and it messed Eddie up as well.

  • Kaleb met up with Riley and Madison walked up asking what he was doing. He said he was just taking a selfie. He walked away leaving Swingerella #2 behind. She said she thought he’d never reject her. The Smoke-Show Sabin came up and said Riley he’s a happily married man but what if they go together as friends. Hernandez said he’s going to need a new suit and Bravo said he’s got one for him, the Turkey Suit!

  • Wedding time – Father James Mitchell asked where the bride and groom are and Sabin got on the piano, playing Swingerella #1 in. Swinger showed up second and had on American Flag overalls. Mitchell skipped the opportunity to object and went to the vows. Swinger ran down the list of women he’s been with but the past is the past and told her his name is Swinger and hers will be too. He asked what her real name is and she told him, let’s just keep it Swingerella #1. She said she has something to confess. Eddie Edwards stumbled into the living room trying to break up the wedding but he’s messed up. Alisha was very disappointed in him and wanted to talk to Eddie. He mumbled to Alisha but she couldn’t understand. Hernandez said what he’s trying to say is Rosemary is trying to kill Bravo, if this wedding goes through, Bravo dies.

  • Rosemary said, Oops we did it again. Bravo said if she wants it for his virgin blood, she needs a time machine because he’s not a virgin anymore. Swingerella #1 said they can’t get married because she’s the one who has been sleeping with Bravo. Bravo said he doesn’t want Swinger to be mad and he’s sorry. Swinger said don’t worry about it because the second rule of being a wrestler is don’t fall for a rizzat. Bravo got on his knee and asked Swingerella #1 if she will marry him. She said what else can I say besides, I love this match. Sabin says I love this match too. James Mitchell pronounced them Bravo and Bravoella and said he may now kiss the bride.

  • Thanksgiving Dinner – Mitchell did the voiceover to say that the warmth comes from Mr and Mrs Bravo. The forecast was wrong, it’s not chilly in the least at this Thanksgiving celebration. Some got what they wanted and others got what they deserved. Madison said the meal is fine but she wants to spend Thanksgiving with her family will they ever get out of here. Swinger gave a toast to Bravo and said he saved him from the ghost of rizzat’s past, so he’s the most thankful man alive. Swingerella #1 said she’s thankful she made the right choice. We saw Swinger chasing Hernandez in the Turkey suit. Alisha asked if that was a happy ending and Sabin said, yeah I think so.

  • Decay let them enjoy their feast. They’ll leave together after. They asked where Taurus is and he was in the confessional. Kaleb tried to join him but got scared off. At the dinner table, it started snowing as Santa DD Brown made his way into the room. Swingerella #2 said this is like Survivor Series 93, Lawrence D said Winter War 84. James Mitchell closed it out in that Holiday spirit.

To be eNYGMAtic…

We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving in France, but The Nygma loves traditions. That’s what all this episode was about. The Turkey costume on Hernandez, Sabin smoking, IPWF, Locker Room Talk, Taurus grunting Eddie Edwards’ theme, that was all fun. As a great French wrestling announcer says, be serious when you don’t take yourself seriously. There’s nothing else to say…
I’m late, as always, so on a “Nygma Hopes Your Thanksgiving Was Fun” note, until next week (if I want), take care, stay safe, go get vaccinated, watch wrestling, and never EVER forget to stay #eNYGMAtic…

All pics, videos, and screenshots courtesy of Impact Wrestling, Fight Network, Dan The JOBR, and AXS TV. Photocollages custom made by @frenchnygma exclusively for @steelchairmag.

By Steph Franchomme

News, Reviews, Social Media Editor, Impact Wrestling Reviewer, Interviewer Well, call me The Boss... And French...

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