STEELCHAIR Wrestling Magazine | Covering WWE, AEW, NJPW, ROH, IMPACT and more

Impact Wrestling Reviews

“Last Christmas, I Gave You My Heart…” – Impact Wrestling’s “Throwback Throwdown II: Winter is Back ’84” Results & Review

BySteph Franchomme

Dec 19, 2021 , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“… And the very next day, you gave it away. This year, to save me from tears, I’ll give it to someone special…” You’re listening to Radio Nygma with THE song of this Christmas 1984 by Wham! Before our next song, “Radio Gaga” by Queen, all our favourite heroes are on TV tonight as the IPWF (Impact Provincial Wrestling Federation) present Winter War ’84, so please put a VHS in your recorder if you don’t want to miss a bit of it.
In the main event, Santa Claus (Willie Mack) will face off Sex Ferguson (Doc Gallows) in a North Pole Street Fight Match for the International Commonwealth TV Championship. Also scheduled to compete, Chad 2 Badd, S.T.O.M.P. in Paradise, Frank The Butcher, Grand Master Flash DJ 2Large, Rip Rayzor, Johnny Swinger, Ladybird Johnston, and many more. So no more words, let’s get ready for some action, but your French Enygma Steph way, of course…

Welcome to IPWF!

Countdown to Throwback Throwdown

  • Duke Winchester (Sam Beale) vs Mysterious Mr. E (Jackson Stone)

The big guy with face paint or the mullet-hair babyface? E powered Winchester down. Winchester replied with a side headlock,  a dropkick, an elbow in the corner, a neckbreaker and a splash by Winchester. He missed the bulldog, but E hit an overhead suplex, an elbow and a back suplex. Winchester fought back with a big clothesline that sent E into the corner. E missed a splash in the corner, Winchester hit a spine on the pine (lumbar interview?). Winchester hit the bulldog for the win. You can be an International Man of Mystery, we’re in 1984, the Mullet always wins…

  • Sex Crime (1984)…

Sex Ferguson informed us that he beat Downtown Daddy Brown for the championship and Muscles McGee will not be able to compete tonight, as he’s been detained at the border. We don’t know who the replacement will be. Sex Ferguson pulled up in his caddy. He was not a fan of the near beer. He said, F**k you buddy.

Sex Ferguson made his way to the ring. He buried Kentucky. He was happy to get a night off tonight as his opponent got detained at the border. And you won’t see Downtown Daddy Brown tonight due to a stipulation. The owner of IPWF, Giuseppe Scovelli, Sr. interrupted him. He was not happy with the Louisville smack talk. Sex mentioned what McGee stopped with at the border and that Brown got all his tires slashed. Scovelli had an opponent for Sex, it will be Santa Claus in a Street Fight. Santa arrived and hit a Bionic elbow on Sex who fled backstage. If Scovelli wasn’t as red as I saw him, I would have thought I saw The Incredible Hulk…

The Main Card

Giuseppe Scovelli, Jr. (Josh Mathews) and Gord Leroux (Matt Striker) were on commentary.

  • Chad 2 Badd (Karl Anderson) vs Bill Ding (Trey Miguel)

As Ferguson, 2 Badd is a specialist of balls match. And Ding knows how “hard” he can work… Ding attacked with a headlock and shoulder block, then posed. Chad posed for the “Break it off” chant. Ding moved out of the bronco-buster attempt, he got a near-fall with his feet on the ropes. Ding hit the middle rope and jumped into a boot. Chad connected with a karate chop, a NutChopper, knuckles for the nuts, a spank, and a back body drop. Chad charged into the corner but Bill sidestepped, causing him to crash nuts-first into the turnbuckle. Ding tried the same rollup with the feet on the ropes again. Ding hit a clothesline, missed a second rope leg drop. Chad replied with an inverted and a regular atomic drop followed by a big splash for the win. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear Ding is not feeling anything for any part of his body under the belt…

  • The Rhythmic Warriors (“Hot Newcomer” Johnny Swinger & Mikey Singer (Mike Jackson)) vs Sunday Morning Express (Editor-in-Chief (Chris Sabin) and Ace Reporter (ACH))

We get a music debut from the Rhythmic Warriors. Sunday Morning Express has some news to deliver. The Rhythmic Warriors are projected to lose since they’re up all night drinking some beer.

The Rhythmic Warriors hit a couple of what we can call dives. Mikey Singer took control early on. He got his wig torn off and appeared to be a member of the Gagne family. He walked the ropes, the reporter tagged out but the editor ran in to take some punishment. The Sunday Morning Express hit a double suplex. Mikey hit a double clothesline, tagged in Johnny. Throat thrusts and atomic drops all around, followed by sleeper holds. There was a misfire from the Sunday Morning Express, allowing Singer to quicken the pace with the Tower of London. Double rollups ended it, with a win for the old-school guys. Old school vs new school, we’ll be talking about that again in many years…

Meanwhile, backstage…

Dexter Petticoat (Crazzy Steve) interviewed Santa Claus. He said he’s going to go down his chimney, eat his cookies and some coal will be left over.

  • Frank the Butcher (Rhino) vs The Gutter Punk Grappler Rip Rayzor (Ace Austin) (with Rusty Iron (Gia Miller))

Things broke down early. Rip put Rusty in front of him to avoid Frank, but that only lasted so long. Rayzor regained the advantage. Rip got the spike, but Frank blocked. The referee saw Frank with the object. Rip NutCracked him and went to town. He hit the armbar but Frank fought back with a big clothesline for the win.

After the match, Rusty attacked Frank, shoved him a couple of times. Rip Rayzor intervened and sliced Frank in the neck.

Meanwhile, backstage… 

Dexter Petticoat interviewed former Rough Rider Georgia Cobb who spoke on the downfall of the Rough Riders at the hands of Lady Bird Johnston. The Rough Riders had a hell of a ride to the top, but Lady Bird wanted to shut down that Tunnel of Love. She took out Mildred’s legs with the tire iron and shoved Blanche off of that scaffold. The Rough Riders name still means something to her, ride them hard until the day you die. While Georgia was on her way to the ring, Johnston attacker her from behind.

  • Georgia Cobb (Jordynne Grace) vs Lady Bird Johnston (Havok)

Cobb locked a sleeper, but Johnston got her off. After some back and forth, Johnston dropped Cobb, then applied the camel clutch. Johnston connected with some front strikes. Cobb fought out of the Samoan drop, hits some strikes. Cobb hit the headscissors and did the skull f**k. Johnston went for her signature tire iron into the match but the referee stopped her from using it. Georgia lifted Johnston on her shoulders and drove her into the mat for the win.

Meanwhile, backstage…

Chaos ensued as Orderly Ross was instructed to give Frank The Butcher a tracheotomy when Dr Snow was attacked. Quincy Cosmos stole the necklace from around the neck of Giuseppe Scovelli Sr.

  • Giuseppe Scovelli Jr. (Josh Mathews) vs Quincy Cosmos (Rohit Raju)

Quincy Cosmos made his way to the ring. He wanted to put enjoyment in our pathetic little lives. Scovelli Jr started talking trash at some point in this tirade and said he’s in charge now.

Junior hit an atomic drop and a headscissors. Cosmos put the stomps to Giuseppe Jr. and hit an elbow, followed by a vertical suplex and a rear chinlock. Cosmos missed in the corner, Junior connected with a flying headscissors and a springboard kick. The referee got splashed in the corner, Cosmos hit a big move. Quincy’s friend made her way down to ringside but Giuseppe Sr intervened on a run in, so Junior hit a codebreaker, Senior counted three and gave him his beloved necklace.

Meanwhile, backstage…

Ima Belle challenged Rusty Iron to a match later tonight. Duke Winchester got involved in a car accident just outside the arena.

  • A Larger Than Life performance…

DJ 2 Large (Moose) was in the ring for a musical performance when Colonel E. Corn (John E. Bravo) interrupted him and introduces his act, Pelvis Wesley (Heath). Pelvis took out DJ by hitting him in the back with his guitar. Could we remind them Elvis died on his toilet?

Meanwhile, backstage…

Orderly Ross was giving Frank his tracheotomy when Dexter Petticoat told him that Duke Winchester had a terrible car accident and needs medical assistance.

  • Four Corners Bull Rope match – Harry Hall (Jake Something) vs Badlands Bart (Larry D)

To win this contest, a competitor must touch all four top turnbuckles consecutively. Harry touched three turnbuckles but Bart stopped him from hitting the fourth with a spinebuster. Hall hit a Black Hole Slam but Bart quickly shut his momentum down by hitting him with the cowbell. Bart put in a choke with the bull rope and dragged Hall around the ring. Bart touched the turnbuckles but what he doesn’t realize is that Hall is also touching them. Hall touched all the four turnbuckles to win the match.

Meanwhile, backstage…

Sonny Sanders (Sami Callihan) limped in on the backstage promo. Sebastian Baker (Jimmy Jacobs) wheeled his way in. Things broke down and Dexter Petticoat started regretting to be interviewing them…

  • Ima Belle (Deonna Purrazzo) vs Rusty Iron (Gia Miller) (w/ Rip Rayzor (Ace Austin))

Belle drove Rusty head-first into the corner turnbuckles. Rip hooked the leg of Belle from the outside, allowing Rusty to gain control. Rusty tried to break her opponent’s back with a submission. Belle hit a back elbow, followed by an acrobatic backflip to score the victory. After the match, Frank the Butcher was back and chased Rusty & Rip out of the building.

  • Tim Burr (Josh Alexander) vs Eric “The Red” Wood (W. Morrissey)

Tim Burr made his way to the interview area. Could he knock Erick the Redwood off of his feet, asked Petticoat? He’s chopped all of the trees down. He’ll do it right here in Louisville, KY. The bigger they are, the harder there is to find a comfortable pair of slacks.

After some shoulder blocks, Redwood knocked Burr out of the ring. Burr went for the slam, it was blocked. Big chop by Redwood. Tim Burr connected with the chop block. Burr slipped out of the slam attempt. Second rope, axehandles by Burr. He went up top for the third time but Burr got caught in the bearhug. Burr raised the arm at 2. Burr started sawing Erick’s leg. He tore off the flannel shirt and slammed Erick. He hit a leg drop for the win.

Meanwhile, backstage…

Orderly Ross confessed that he has never done a tracheotomy before… But he forgot Duke Winchester and Dr Snow was not in his best shape, he was talking to a head…

  • Jazzy Fitbody (Madison Rayne) vs Wanda the Werewoman (Savannah Evans)

The $237,000 Man, formerly The $300,000 Man, introduced Wanda The Werewoman as Jazzy Fitbody’s opponent. Thriller night…

Jazzy wanted to follow the Code of Honor, that didn’t happen. Wanda unloaded an airplane spin, a Samoan Drop and a Splash in the corner. She misses in the corner. Jazzy with a chinlock, she got whipped off, then Wanda hit the claw. Jazzy tried to fight out and got out for a few seconds. Back in, Jazzy fought out again with an enzuigiri and a bulldog. She kicked the $237,000 man, then Wanda jumped into a bite for the disqualification

  • S.T.O.M.P. in Paradise (GI Broski (Matt Cardona) & Brian Bone-Crunchin (Brian Myers)) vs The Russians (Sergey the Siberian (Madman Fulton) & Stalingrad Strangler (Tony Gunn))

S.T.O.M.P. In Paradise were out here for an interview with Petticoat. They G.I. Broski & Brian Bonecrunchin were facing the Russians tonight.

Broski started against The Stalingrad Strangler and connected with the big bodyslam. Broski caught the kick, hit a shoulder block and a clothesline by Broski. He tagged in Brian who crunched a bone and tagged in Broski. Frequent tags here. Sergey dominated for a minute, then took Brian into the Russian corner. The Russians worked Brian over. Brian got the tag to Broski. Some stomps in the corner, then the Broski Boot. Broski hit a facebuster on Sergey, Brian got knocked off the apron. The Double Russian Leg Sweep only got 2. Sergey stomped Broski but missed the Earthquake Splash. Brian and the Strangler tagged in. brian hit a Spinebuster, followed by a Samoan drop with a neckbreaker for the win.

  • North Pole Street Fight for the International Commonwealth Television Championship: Santa Claus (Willie Mack) vs Sex Ferguson (Doc Gallows) (c)

Sex Ferguson told Dexter Petticoat he calls Guiseppe Sr. a con artist. Sexual W. Ferguson is apparently his legal name. Artichoke Jenkins made the official intro. If Downtown Daddy Brown couldn’t challenge for this championship, Santa Claus could.

Santa attacked Ferguson with a broom before blinding him with a unicorn mask. Ferguson strangled one of Santa’s eyes, then hit him over the head with his cup. Ferguson drove Santa head-first into a steel chair. Santa began to fight back, taking Ferguson off his feet with a running crossbody. Ferguson drank a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon but Santa made him pay with a Stunner. Santa pinned Ferguson to become the new IPWF International Commonwealth Television Champion.

Santa took off the mask, revealed himself as Downtown Daddy Brown. The locker room came out to celebrate with him and make Ferguson taste the Blue Ribbon.

To be eNYGMAtic…

I refuse to say anything bad on a show that was nothing but fun, not only for the fans but for the wrestlers. A nice nod to the Talk ‘N Shop A Mania shows, with Chad 2 Badd and Sex Ferguson at their best. A short review because it’s a show to watch, not to write about.
This week episode was not about the famous recipe of action, promos and the cinematic orchestra. It was just about having fun, even being ridiculous, paying tribute to the 80s shows and icons of the past. This episode was a nice breath of air during the Holidays Season.
On that “Nygma Was 4 a While Ago”, until next week, never EVER forget to stay #eNYGMAtic…

 

All pics, videos, and screenshots courtesy of Impact Wrestling, Fight Network and AXS TV. Photomontage custom made by @frenchnygma exclusively for @steelchairmag @vulturehoundmag.

By Steph Franchomme

News, Reviews, Social Media Editor, Impact Wrestling Reviewer, Interviewer Well, call me The Boss... And French...

Related Post

GCW Reviews US

My Heart Will Go On – GCW “The People vs GCW” – Review

Jul 31, 2022 John Dinsdale
Reviews WWE

“The Greatest Last Man Standing Match Ever” – Five Key Takeaways From WWE “SummerSlam” 2022

Jul 31, 2022 Humza Hussain
Reviews Starrcast Wrestling Conventions

Starrcast V “The Roast of Ric Flair” Recap

Jul 30, 2022 Steph Franchomme

Leave a Reply

You May Have Missed

GCW Reviews US

My Heart Will Go On – GCW “The People vs GCW” – Review

Jul 31, 2022 John Dinsdale
Reviews WWE

“The Greatest Last Man Standing Match Ever” – Five Key Takeaways From WWE “SummerSlam” 2022

Jul 31, 2022 Humza Hussain
Reviews Starrcast Wrestling Conventions

Starrcast V “The Roast of Ric Flair” Recap

Jul 30, 2022 Steph Franchomme
Columns News Predictions WWE

SteelChair Mag Weigh-In: WWE’s “SummerSlam” 2022 Predictions

Jul 30, 2022 Steph Franchomme