WARNING: STRONG VIOLENCE AHEAD
Welcome back to H2O and part two of the Christmas weekender. We’d seen a chaotic rumble, new champs, and Alex Stretch and Louis Ramos in a bloodbath during Day One and now, it was time for the conclusion to the year. Amongst the wreckage tonight, we’d see Bam Sullivan and Mouse in a cage, the debut of the Smoke Shop, A tag title deathmatch, Drew Blood getting his Danny Havoc Hardcore Shot, Kennedi Copeland vs Brandon Kirk, and much much more leading to the main event where Matt Tremont and Bobby Beverly were going to partake in some old-school violence. It was the last big show of the year, who was going to end it in style? Let’s get into the carnage.
Rat in a Cage: Mouse defeated Bam Sullivan via Carpet Strip Cattle Mutilation
Up first tonight was another round in the long and bloody feud between former Extricated brothers Bam Sullivan and Mouse. For months now, we’d seen the pair snipe and screw the other to differing success. Now, there was nowhere to run or hide as they were in a cage full of mouse traps. It was time to put an end to this. Goddamn, this kicked so much ass. It was a creative mishmash of cage match, wired areas, and horrifying plunder. Mouse started hot but was ground down by an ultra-sadistic Sullivan who kept finding more and more ways to torture his former friend. Be it excessive tubes to the body, wire to head, and the Tree of Woe trapped chair shots. None of it was able to keep Mouse down thus his desperation grew and the words of the fans seemed to cut deeper than the weapons. Mouse fought up, taking every opportunity and weapon he could, eventually getting the drop on Sullivan with a tack-covered cheese block, a mousetrap board Shiranui and ending things with a Cattle Mutilation on a strip lattice, forcing Sullivan to tap out. There were no post-match attacks or comments, just Mouse basking in the glory as he finally bested the man that had been determined to ruin his career. If that was the last chapter, then it provided a satisfying end to a bloody story where Bam Sullivan became the ultimate villain in the best, most enjoyable to watch way. Sadly though, he might just claim this is another “hot take.”
Chuck Payne, Devon Moore & Ryan Redfield defeated GG Everson, Deklan Grant & Adonis Valerio via Notorious Elbow Drop on Everson
The show kept the feuds a-flowing by pitting Devon Moore and Deklan Grant in another ring together. Yesterday they’d screwed each other in the rumble. Now, they were going to tear each other apart with the help of some allies, all of which had their own agendas for being there. It would be Payne and Redfield with Moore and Everson and Valerio with Grant. One team was going away with a good dose of one-upmanship tonight. That would be team Moore though it wasn’t the smoothest of fights. For most of this match, Grant was being top asshole as his team picked apart Redfield with a 100 match 100 chop celebration and trapped Moore. It took a desperation Cutter and a rampage from Payne to get things back on track so Moore could end things with an Elbow Drop. It wasn’t the flashiest of fights but it did its job and kept the ball rolling on the stories to come, Moore and Grant brawling to the back and Payne giving Redfield his endorsement. Happy one hundred Big Red.
Smoke Shop Scrap: Second Hand Smoke (Eddy Only & Gregory Iron) defeated Wasted Youth (Dyln McKay & Marcus Mathers) via Pocket Sand Roll-up on McKay
It was time for excitement as a new talk show segment debuted courtesy of 44OH! Eddy Only and Gregory Iron were bringing us the Smoke Shop, a chat show where the air was as full of smoke as the host was. They had Marcus Mathers as their guest and proceeded to berate him for being a disappointment and for losing Austin Luke as a mate. Mathers snapped, was joined by his other bestie, Dyln McKay, and demanded to kick some 44OH! ass. No one was in their ring gear but the match was made and the duos got into some of the nastiest action outside of deathmatches. It was a great chance for Wasted Youth to re-establish themselves in H2O and offered some fun and gross comedy at the expense of Only and Iron. We had banana guns, wrestlers fighting in their literal underwear, more pants pulling, and more across the ten-minute runtime. Iron doesn’t know how to wipe as he’d left a skidmark in his pants and we may have seen the first-ever thumb in the bum bomb. Despite all the chicanery, this was a proper match and it had a proper finish, Iron stealing the win with a pocket sand roll-up (though I don’t know where he got the sand…) This won’t be for everyone. It was pretty juvenile and big on the gross-out comedy but I had a laugh and it’s clear the guys in the match did too.
H2O Tag Team Titles Nightmare Before Xmas Deathmatch: Chris Bradley & Kristian Ross defeated The Lone Rangers (Jeff Cannonball & Mitch Vallen) via Light-tubed From the Heavens on Mitch
Mitch Vallen is a mad bastard. He was so sure that the Lone Rangers would win two title matches in a row that he gave the former champs a next-day rematch in a Nightmare before Xmas Deathmatch. Jeff Cannonball had been against the idea but here we were, tag titles on the line in a match full of deathmatch plunder. Ross and Bradley were ready to bleed for their belts and the Rangers would be happy to unleash that crimson. To my joy, this was pure carnage. It was two teams in a plunder bout, brawling around the ring with countless sharp objects and combinations. We had massive amounts of broken tubes, broken chairs, and broken cinderblocks. It was bloody, brutal, and still had that chaotic fun energy that follows Mitch. Ross and Bradley stepped up their deathmatch game as Cannonball and Mitch made them suffer for those titles. Again, it might not win any awards but it was as entertaining as it was macabre and gave us the surprise twist of Ross and Bradley becoming three-time champions. With that loss, the Lone Rangers are no more. Cannonball is done with Mitch and his antics. He doesn’t want to bond with fans and goof about, he wants to win titles and matches. He berated Mitch for costing them the match, a match he’d blindly agreed to, and stormed off claiming to never want to see him again. It was a sombre end to a really fun little match. I don’t think I ever want to see a sad Mitch again.
H2O Hybrid Title: Kennedi Copeland defeated Brandon Kirk (w/Kasey Kirk) via Inside Cradle
The title fights continued as the Girl from Ocean Avenue, Kennedi Copeland got another crack at Brandon Kirk, this time putting her Hybrid Title on the line. The two had beaten the hell out of each other in the Tremont’s Deathmatch Finals and now, looked to repeat history without the plunder in the same stiff manner. Kasey was ejected immediately as Nick Papagiorgio found she’d given Brandon a weapon. That was confiscated and the match began, Kirk and Copeland colliding with heavy hands. It was every bit as physical as expected as both beat the utter shit out of each other. Kirk was the arrogant, mocking fighter whilst Copeland just kept upping the aggression. In a weird twist, the fans weren’t behind Copeland tonight so we ended up with a half and half crowd of cheers and boos. That too seemed to give her an extra edge as she further punished Brandon for existing. It was close to the end and Copeland took the win with a quick Inside Cradle as she was facing death’s door. Again, it was a match that delivered exactly as you’d want it to. Both brought the fight out of each other and Kirk remained a dickhead to the end, attacking post-match and forcing Matt Tremont to intervene.
H2O Danny Havoc Hardcore Title: Lucky 13 defeated Drew Blood via Top Rope DDT-Stroyer
What happens when you win a rumble in H2O? You get a title shot. That’s what was happening for Drew Blood now as he took on Lucky 13 for the Danny Havoc Hardcore Title. He’d seen off and survived a whole host of challengers yesterday, was the Notorious One going to have enough energy to best 13 here? Not quite, but he gave it a damn good effort. This was another nasty one as the pair tried to murder the other with attacks to the head and chairs/ladder breaking aplenty. It was an all-or-nothing brawl full of innovative offence and counterwork as both guys knew each other so well. Again, it managed to be compelling in a short space of time and offered some of the harshest landings in a match up to now. The finish alone could have gone disastrously if not performed by pros.
Austin Luke defeated Billie Starkz via Hammerlocked Armbreaker
Just before this match was set to go, Marcus Mathers made his second appearance of the night and announced that on January 1st as H2O tours New England, he’s cashing in the IWTV Briefcase and taking on Alex Shelley for the IWTV Championship. With that announcement out of the way, it was time for Austin Luke and Billie Starkz to fight it out. These two work in a similar style so it would make for an interesting little fight. Luke was in dickhead mode but Starkz seemed unphased and made her own attempts at mind games, calling Luke out for his BS. Luke played the long game and baited Starkz into making a mistake, giving him a target to work over when she smashed her arm off a ring-post. That would be the crux of the match as Luke showed off everything he could do to break an arm and eventually tapped her out, nearly ripping the limb out of its socket. That’s not to say Starkz didn’t get her licks in. She grew pissed after a back kick and laid into Luke with a good flurry of one-armed attacks but in the end, Luke’s crafty style had her trapped and she was left with nothing to do but tap, lest her arm be torn apart. It was a vicious attack from Luke and another exercise in pure limb destruction against one of wrestling’s most valiant.
Old-School Violence: Bobby Beverly defeated Matt Tremont via Tube Chair Braining
Last but not least, the main event. Now that Matt Tremont was out of retirement, it was time for him to start catching up on matches we’d all love to see. The first on that list was a dose of old-school violence with the Bev. Everyone has been impressed with Bobby Beverly’s assimilation into 44OH! and the world of deathmatches. Now, it was time for a test against the Bulldozer. It opened with thrown hands and quickly escalated to glass as both took bundles to the dome. The fight went outside and Beverly brained Tremont with a chair, further pounding on Tremont with fists and tearing into the horn. Tremont hammered back and had another bundle headbutted into him. Both kept breaking some glass on each other and breaking the other’s jaw as The Bulldozer began feeling himself. The shots kept raining down as Bev kept teeing off on Tremont’s forehead, making sure to keep the crimson flowing with more tubes. Tremont shocked Bev with an apron bundle breaker and carved into him with more broken tubes before the pair chopped the absolute shit out of each other. They even got blood on the camera as they took the fight further around the ring. Bev smashed Tremont with more chairs and set up a metal table, driving Tremont onto it with more blunt force trauma. They tried to fight atop it but the legs gave out so Beverly just dropped Tremont onto it with a Brainbuster.
The action returned to the ring and the pair had a good old tube duel, going back-and-forth with more glass to the head. It was pure savagery. Eventually, the pair ran out of tubes and energy and both collapsed to the glass and blood-strewn canvas. They struggled to their knees for more knuckles to the jaw and Beverly used another tube to set up Tremont for a Saito. He dumped Tremont with another pair and still couldn’t keep him down. Tremont hit a surprise DVD and also only got two. Both got back up and Beverly just broke more and more chairs over Tremont as Tremont begged for more. A tube chair to the head later and Tremont was out for the count. Beverly had just taken out the Bulldozer without the need for any 44OH! bullshit. It had just been a straight-up vicious back-and-forth bloodbath with tubes and chairs. There were no frills, just a good old veteran vs the new hot property fight. Tremont brought the monster out of Beverly as he refused to stay the hell down. When the dust settled, Tremont and Bev shook it out because real respects real, and what we saw there was as real as could be. Again, H2O ends another big year in bloody brilliant fashion.
"Two desperados gunslinging in the ole wild west"
— "Bulldozer" Matt Tremont (@TremontH2O) December 21, 2021
All images courtesy of H2O, Ami Moregore, Matt Tremont