WARNING: STRONG VIOLENCE AHEAD

Welcome back to H2O and to an unfamiliar venue as the hustle goes on the road to Massachusetts as part of the Wrestlival Weekend. Whilst the card was rocked by unfortunate event by unfortunate event, the company did manage to make an appealing card showing both rising star and grizzled veteran in equal measure. Across its runtime we’d see, Austin Luke vs Reid Walker, a chairs and chains five-way, Masha Slamovich vs Mickie Knuckles, the Marcus Mathers open challenge, multiple title defences, and more leading to a main event barbed-wire massacre match between Matt Tremont and Kennedi Copeland. It was about to get nasty so let’s get into the action.

Adonis Valerio & Frank Bonetti defeated Frankie Pickard & Ryan Redfield via Inverted Suplex on Redfield

We opened with another loving tribute to Markus Crane courtesy of the boss man himself. After that, it was all systems as we opened with an H2O rising star showcase. It would be Adonis Valerio and Frank Bonetti taking on the King of Smoke Style Frankie Pickard and Big Red Ryan Redfield. This was all to play for as three of the four talents involved were young, hungry, and raring to go. Funnily enough, though, this got to be a showcase for Pickard, and his cigarette style of fighting as the early game belonged to him. Once the cigarette was destroyed it was much more open and we got a rapid-fire bout between the two teams. The young villains got to take the win but everyone had opened the show well and got the crowd’s pulses up. Frank Bonetti has a win on a big event, which has to mean something going forward.

Austin Luke defeated Reid Walker via Brainbuster

Up next was more rising star action as two of the most recognisable new bloods came out to play. Both Reid Walker and Austin Luke have been killing it as of late with their signature styles. Walker has been on a hot streak but Luke is always ready to spoil the fun and lockdown an opponent. Luke was the current Persona Non Grata for H2O so a lot of people were ready to see him get his head kicked in. They partially got their wish as these two pushed each other to the limit. There was less of Luke’s technical style and more pure hatred shit-kicking as the pair beat each other from bell to bell. Luke tweaked his ankle early on but managed to limp through it and still kick the crap out of Walker. This got incredibly intense as the pair threw bombs and hard counters until Luke was eventually able to get the KO with a Brainbuster. For such a short match, they sure packed a lot in and had what I would consider the sleeper hit of the show. What a fight.

Chairs and Chains: Bobby Beverly defeated Gregory Iron, Drew Blood, Dale Patricks & Mitch Vallen via Low Blow Brainbuster on Blood

GODDAMN IT DALE, NOOOO #H2OMassacre pic.twitter.com/XPAuOkjF8v

— Tripping Balls (@IsThisWrestling) January 1, 2022

Okay, time for some chaos. Five men, plunder galore and a crowd ready to see some blood. Bale Patricks made his H2O return to take on the Notorious Drew Blood, Mitch Vallen, and both Gregory Iron and Bobby Beverly of 44OH! Could Deathmatch Gambit stop Beverly’s momentum and take a pretty big win or was he going to get buried under the bodies. Iron had inserted himself into the fight and I’m pretty sure he was going to regret that in a hurry. This came true the second everyone realised they had the numbers advantage on 44OH! They enjoyed some goon-free time with a comedy barfight then we went into a no holds barred brawl of chair shots and chain spots as everyone went to town on each other. Even Iron had some good moments here as we got a reminder of his hardcore credentials. There were monster moments from Patricks and Vallen but once again it was Bobby Beverly stealing the spotlight with his innovative hardcore style and nightmarish slams and Suplexes. There was plenty to enjoy here and it’s interesting to see Beverly keep racking up the wins. Could he be the new biggest threat in H2O?

Masha Slamovich defeated Mickie Knuckles via Broken Chair Scoop-plex

We went from chaotic to psychotic as we came to the most anticipated match on the card, the singles meeting between the Russian Dynamite Masha Slamovich and your deathmatch aunt Mickie F’N Knuckles. These two are as tough as they come and it was going to be wild to see what they’d throw at each other throughout this match. No one was disappointed here. This kicked so much ass. Slamovich and Knuckles had a violent slugfest that went everywhere in the venue. We saw battle axes go where they should never go, more headbutts than you could count and a whole host of other horror show moments as these two started stiff and just got stiff as time went on. Slamovich seems to be the perfect equal for Knuckles as they both just love hurting their opponents with no concern for the consequences. This rocked and had me on the edge of my seat throughout. Both seemed invincible until the final moment when a broken chair sealed Knuckles fate. There are so many good things I could say about this one but it’s better watched. Knuckles wants this fight again and I’m sure Slamovich will be happy to oblige that.

H2O Tag Titles: Kristian Ross & Chris Bradley defeated Anthraxx & GG Everson via From the Heavens on both

Time for a title match. Ross and Bradley were once again tag team champions and were out to kick off another successful reign by crushing their fellow H2O students GG Everson and Anthraxx. This was going to be a pure hoss fight. That’s just what we got. It was pure heavy-set violence as the champions started hot but had their momentum snatched away. Anthraxx and Everson worked well together to keep Bradley trapped but their teaming inexperience eventually caught up with them and the champs were able to prevail. Again, this was fine for what it was. It had a nice hoss fight feel and gave us another look at the H2O students in action and just how far they’ve come. It was a strong start for the tag champ’s 2022 and another fun match for the Massachusetts crowd.

Marcus Mathers defeated Anthony Greene via Roll-up

Whilst it may not be the match he wanted; Marcus Mathers had made it to Massachusetts. He had planned to cash in his IWTV title shot, his opponent wasn’t here. Thus, he’d issued an open challenge. Anyone could step up. The person to claim that, the Alternative Anthony Greene making his H2O debut. This was going to be something special. That is exactly what it was. Ever since Greene came back, he’s had a chip on his shoulder. He came to kill clout and put down the younger generation that is taking over the scene. He had no respect for Mathers when they started and tried to embarrass and insult him to the very end. It was a clash of experience vs youth, bitterness vs fire, jealousy vs the prove thyself attitude mixed with very good wrestling. Mathers is a star now that is only going to get hotter and Greene helped him kick off 2022 with a massive shock win over one of the scene’s decorated stars. In the end, real respected real, and Greene gave Mathers the respect he’d earned. His one request, when he wins that IWTV Title, he gives Greene the first go at it. I think that’s fair; I’d love to see a rematch.

H2O Danny Havoc Hardcore Title: Lucky 13 defeated Chuck Payne, Deklan Grant & Devon Moore via Super Dragon Chair Stomp to Grant

DUDE NO WHAT THE FUCK
DOUBLE STOMP TO THE HEAD ON THE CHAIR@NeoShooter @Thegrimybastard #H2OMassacre pic.twitter.com/UEHdlBKWjM

— Tripping Balls (@IsThisWrestling) January 2, 2022

Time to up the hardcore count again as the Danny Havoc Hardcore Title was on the line. There was plunder around the ring and initially two men ready to go to war. The champion Lucky 13 was originally going to defend against Chuck Payne but two more men bulldozed their way into the match, the eternally warring Devon Moore and Deklan Grant. The match became a four-way and 13’s odds just massively shrunk. Not that they were perfect, to begin with as Payne towered over him. Not even the solid objects around the ring were phasing him. Once Grant and Moore brawled onto the scene, they just became a seamless part of the action, Payne making sure they stuck around to get hurt and 13 opening the match up to them for the hell of it. From there, it went full blood and plunder as all four men brought the pain. The fight went all around the venue with the former Nation of Intoxication taking it to the bar. Chairs were no one’s friend in this match as 13 splattered across a chair platform courtesy of Grant and later got revenge with a Super Dragon chair to head double stomp and a flying chair shot to Payne. The champ retained but it had been a hellacious, bloody hurricane of violence and another dose of fun for the show. Goddamn, this got vicious.

Barbed-Wire Massacre: Kennedi Copeland defeated Matt Tremont via Barbed-Wire Fujiwara

Last but not least, the main event. With the Kirks sadly out of action, Matt Tremont and Kennedi Copeland had been left at a loose end. instead of taking the night off, they decided to have a barbed-wire massacre match. That meant barbed wire in the ropes, barbed-wire fuckery everywhere, and a whole lot of blood to be shed. Time to end the show with a bang and lots of shredded flesh. Copeland is never afraid of a challenge and now, the boss had come calling for his favourite type of match. Copeland started off by showing her speed advantage and tried to take the win with a quick armbar. Tremont threw her off and after nearly running her into the wire, showed he had the power advantage with a strong slam. He psyched her out with a test of strength and unleashed the strikes, tanking a Violence party to down her with a nightmarish clothesline. The barbed-wire bats came out and Copeland bludgeoned Tremont with hers, forcing him to roll out of the ring to safety. She threw the bat out after him and brained Tremont on the floor with a DDT. Copeland kept carving with the bat and tried to soften up the tenderised arm of Tremont further. He cut her off by suplexing a barbed-wire board on her and snapped her onto the hardwood floor. Tremont was highly apologetic as he kept up his assault, smashing Copeland into a ring post and Copeland felt the same as she smashed his back in with a barbed-wire chair. She kept swinging and sacrificed her own body with a senton to the chair.

Tremont was cut to hell and dragged himself up, egging Copeland to keep hitting him. She obliged and knocked Tremont loopy, stunning him again with a running knee back in-ring. Another self-sacrificing Senton followed and launched another barrage of blows, ending her combo with a barbed-wire board to the face. She left the board on top of Tremont and crushed it into him with a diving senton. Tremont was energised now and threw Copeland off the pin. He called for another fight and Copeland came at him with a spool of stray wire, whipping him with it then using the wire to trap Tremont in a Fujiwara Armbar. He had no choice but to tap and Copeland won the match. Again, much like the rest of the show, this kicked ass. It was an impromptu deathmatch where Tremont brought the deathmatch monster out of Copeland. He wanted to see the best of her and pushed her to make it happen. Copeland really brought it here, punishing the boss in every way possible. To end it with a brutal variant of her Jui Jitsu knowledge was the icing on the cake and further proof she’s deathmatch-tough. These two took the best of a sad situation and told a bloody little story of how Tremont has every reason to believe in Copeland. It was the best violent conclusion you could have wanted to end this show as Tremont seemed beyond happy to add a chapter to Copeland’s story.

TIL THE BLOODY FUCKIN END #H2OMassacre pic.twitter.com/SAWp74iL2G

— Tripping Balls (@IsThisWrestling) January 1, 2022

All images courtesy of H2O, IsThisWrestling