WARNING: STRONG VIOLENCE AHEAD

Welcome back to H2O and return home for the company. After the bright lights of Atlantic City, it was back to business in the H2O Centre for more title fights and feuds. There’s a business to take care of and a whole host of trouble for people to get into as H2O’s best and brightest prepare for another night of action. We’d see the escalation of the Mathers/Luke rivalry, Bam Sullivan and Brandon Kirk have a crack at the Tag Titles, Dyln McKay vs Lucky 13 for the Danny Havoc Hardcore Title and so much more leading to the main event, a first-time-ever H2O Steel cage match. it’s fitting since this way there could be no running for the H2O champion Deklan Grant when Devon Moore and Chuck Payne came for him. Let’s get into the action.

Before the matches kicked into gear, we had an address from the big boss, Matt Tremont. He gave a general introduction to the show, then focused his attention on another lingering point, Joel Bateman. The Boss of DMDU had been running his mouth and now, Tremont was going to make him regret it. Once Bateman hit H2O, he was not only getting his boss vs boss match, it would be 200 light tubes. Be careful what you wish for, Tremont didn’t mince words but he’ll certainly mince your body.

Adonis Valerio defeated Nicholas Grande via Powerbomb into Jack-Knife

The first match of the night would be a showcase for the undiscovered. It would be the current Undiscovered champion Nicholas Grande taking Hustle Cup winner Adonis Valerio to Grande’s House. We’ve seen Valerio on a tear at the moment through opportunistic wins, what was he going to pull out against Grande? Especially since his original match with Kennedi Copeland for the Hybrid Title had fallen through due to the weather. He had to be pissed. Though it didn’t go as easily as he’d wanted to, Valerio used this new challenge to send a message to Copeland, trying to embarrass Grande any way he could. Since Grande was utilising fast and explosive offence, Valerio slowed the pace down and delivered his naughty favourites, making sure to insult his opponent at every turn. It wasn’t the smoothest match by any means but for an on-the-fly match it worked well enough with Grande getting to show off more of his range and Valerio racking up another win in his cocky, vicious fashion. Both these guys made the most of the time and started the show off well enough.

Mitch Vallen defeated Dan Champion via Chokebomb

Hoss fight! Hoss fight! Hoss fight! It was time for a big boy battle as Big Dan the Chugger Champion was about to learn that life is a Mitch. That’s right, it was Champion vs Vallen in a match that would see power personified. Champion was initially left confused as Vallen was more interesting in spouting slogans and saying hello than actually fighting. Once they got going, this was great. It became a fun mix of Big Dan agility, strongman competition, and harsh strikes, all with an added air of mockery as both guys couldn’t stop attacking the other’s callouts. The action was crisp, the wrestlers were clearly having fun trying to outdo each other and it’s a very rare occurrence we see someone bigger and stronger than Mitch. There’s not too much to say here, it was a well-paced, well-executed match pitting two powerhouses with big mouths and bigger bodies against each other. What’s not to love? If you’ve ever wanted to see Mitch picked up and thrown around with ease, Champion didn’t disappoint you here.

Jeff Cannonball & Duncan Aleem defeated White Trash Forever (Bruce Grey & Tyler Voxx) via Wedgie Roll-up on Voxx

#H2ONOEASY vintage @BruceGreyDDT pic.twitter.com/9b34FvG6ks

— Logan (@marth555) February 26, 2022

Oh boy. I miss King Ugly. In his place, we have an arrogant and snooty man who hired Duncan Aleem to replace Mitch Vallen and had made him his new best friend. Things started sadly as he stopped Mitch enjoying his win over Dan Champion and just got sadder as Mitch was prevented from getting any kind of payback. Once that was over, we went into WTF vs Cannonball and Aleem with WTF being the favourites. Cannonball had tried to convince the pair to just leave and avoid the fight but he’d been unsuccessful in his negotiations. When he was done trying to get Voxx DQ’ed, Cannonball actually dominated. His power and strikes were unmatched and with Aleem paying attention they did get to administer a beatdown. Voxx got the better of Aleem and we got to see WTF do what they do best, taking extra care to hit Aleem with a double dose of Atomic Drops and Nosebreakers. It was chaotic fun with everyone’s personality coming through. In the end, Cannonball sneaked out the win with a tights-pulling roll-up, further showing his descent into darkness. I still miss Because the Night too.

Post-match, Marc Angel tried to take the show hostage but was quickly snuffed out by the Director of Anarchy, Terra Calaway. She’s back and more than ready to administer some ass-kickings. H2O, independent wrestling world, you have been warned.

Reid Walker defeated Ron Mathis via Tombstone Sunset Reversal

The WTF wave continued as Ron Mathis was up next against Reid Walker. The fastest rising star in H2O has continuously been impressing and now he had another chance to land a massive win over one of H2O’s best, the white trash shooter Ron Mathis. To put it bluntly, this was a bit of a shit-kicking. Walker got his ass handed to him for a lot of this match as Mathis had the power and experience advantage. If he wasn’t clowning on him with stalling Suplexes, he was throwing him around the ring or trying to knock his jaw off. This was Mathers at his trashy best lighting a fire under Walker’s ass. When he came back, Walker would launch himself into counters and certainly got his licks in but it was an uphill battle against a mountain of trash. He had to rely on his wits and a momentary lapse in judgement from Mathis to get the win as he countered a Tombstone into a Sunset Pin. Mathis was pissed at himself for allowing it to happen but left peacefully and gave Walker a small showing of respect. Walker shows that no matter the odds, he’ll keep going and pulled out a big win here. The sky’s the limit for him and with showings of resilience like this, he just keeps helping prove that.

Danny Havoc Hardcore Title: Lucky 13 defeated Dyln McKay via Flying Dragon Stomp

#H2ONOEASY what the actual fuck @thedylnmckay @NeoShooter pic.twitter.com/0mjoVfxZDL

— Logan (@marth555) February 26, 2022

Hey, do you want some violence? Well, H2O had you covered as we had our first title defence of the night, the Danny Havoc Hardcore Title. Lucky 13 has been beating the odds continuously in his defence of that belt and now, he was going one-on-one with the Straight-Edge Ledge, Dyln McKay. They both have flips for day and now had all the plunder to play with. This was going to be good. It started fast and maintained pace as these two went back and forth between fast technicality, high-flying and hardcore shenanigans. There were head drops, horrifying lands and so many harsh landings throughout this one as the pair seemed determined to murder each other. It was like watching a violent highlight reel as neither guy slowed down or stopped showing off. This was just the type of match I wanted to see these two pull off. 13’s hybrid style met McKay’s high-flying creativity met plunder fighting. It was gratuitous, maddening and a whole lot of fun to watch. This was a standout match from the card with 13 making sure to give McKay the props for surviving, even if he hadn’t won.

After that one, Lowlife Louie came out to enter himself into the Ultraviolent Kingdom tournament next month. He was putting himself in at number one since he deemed himself to be number one. He even had an opponent he wanted, Mickie F’N Knuckles.

H2O Tag Titles: Chris Bradley & Kristian Ross defeated Bam Sullivan & Brandon Kirk via From the Heavens on Sullivan

#H2ONOEASY FULL TIME BOSS pic.twitter.com/u7Lkxa4Igl

— Logan (@marth555) February 26, 2022

I was torn on this next match. I think the Full-Time Bosses, Ross and Bradley have really grown into their champion roles. They manage to pull off wins against the stiffest of foes, have proven to be tough as nails and keep proving people wrong. But… I also really wanted to see the makeshift team of Bam Sullivan and Brandon Kirk get those belts and try to keep that momentum going. There was a lot of talent in the ring, just what were they going to do and who’d be left standing? Plus, would Sullivan and Kirk find that necessary tag-team bond? Okay, this turned out to be funny as hell and an enjoyable match. Sullivan and Kirk found out first-hand just how strong and powerful Ross and Bradley were and had to adapt around it. Kirk was basically KO’ed the second he got into the ring and was all but willed back to life by Sullivan. Dastardly and Muttley ended up isolating Bradley and tried to break his leg. It was an effective strategy. It didn’t last and once Ross was unleashed, all hell broke loose. Both teams went hell for leather and it seemed to be Sullivan and Kirk’s night until things went wrong and the champs capitalised. What a showing, what a match. More Bam and Kirk teaming, please.

Austin Luke defeated Marcus Mathers via Crossface

#H2ONOEASY gory special from @MarcusMathers1 pic.twitter.com/bW9y77Lh3D

— Logan (@marth555) February 26, 2022

The penultimate match was assuredly going to be one of the show’s best. Marcus Mathers and Austin Luke have been at each other’s throats for some time now and despite Luke’s best efforts, he just couldn’t get rid of Mathers. They’re both some of the most recognisable standouts from the H2O roster and are both primed for greatness but can’t quite get over the Highlander mentality that Luke had caused when he betrayed Mathers. There could now be only one. As expected, this got very physical. Mathers is known for his smash-mouth, high-flying style so Luke tried to cleverly take part of that out of the equation. He started trying to break Mathers’ arm and take away the smash-mouth part of his style. Mathers tried to fight through it but pain is pain. Luke got too complacent after his torture spree and gave Mathers the opening he needed to get back into things, blowing the match wide open. It was compelling, physical as hell and an absolute spectacle to watch. These two could be thrown into a match at any time and make art. Luke took the win this time but it wasn’t a clean win. The ref was taken out and Luke kicked low, hit a devastating combo and ended things with a Crossface. I highly doubt Mathers is going to leave things as is. He still needs answers and he still wants revenge. This will go on.

The surprise appearances kept on coming as Mouse appeared in the rafters. Under the veil of shadows, with a mic in hand, he unloaded on the H2O audience. Recently, he has had to force his way into things, either as a surprise opponent or just showing up. He hadn’t even been booked tonight. He was done being nice. The people didn’t care and he didn’t care for the people. He’d done things himself since starting out and nothing was going to change now.

H2O Heavyweight Title Steel Cage: Deklan Grant (w/Jess Moss) defeated Devon Moore & Chuck Payne via Windshield Superplex on Moore

Last but not least, the main event. It was a first-time-ever for H2O as they had a pure steel cage match. The structure had been made up, there were tubs of plunder within and three competitors about to duke it out. We had two former champs in Chuck Payne and Devon Moore and the newest champion in Deklan Grant. Across recent months, Grant had made a lot of enemies and two of them were locked in there with him. Meanwhile, Jess Moss stood sentinel on the outside, no doubt ready to interject herself should she need to. Payne opened with a rampage, prompting some Grimy Bastards teamwork and cookie sheets to the face. Grant got the better of Payne and used the cage to grind his face up before turning his attention to Moore. The blood began to pour as Grant opened up Moore and Payne started throwing them both into the steel. Grant also began to bleed but this seemed to fuel him as he took chairs to both foes and threw out a barrage of insults, even roasting the ref as he helped set up a table. Moore exploded back to life with a Cutter and climbed the cage but Payne followed. They looked to be headed for disaster when Grant inadvertently saved Moore by Powerboming Payne through the table. Moore returned the favour with headbutts and the Macho Elbow, scoring a two-count. Grant got two with the TKO and had a windshield brought out.

Moore had tried to kill Grant with that, now Grant was going to do the same. Moore tried one last gasp at victory with a roll-up but Grant kicked out and took them both to the top again. Moore hung on for dear life but Grant dislodged him and they both crashed down hard onto the windshield. Grant dragged himself into the pin and took the win once again. The ghosts that haunted him had been exorcised and he’d cemented his status as champ. This was a fitting main event. It had the hard hits, hardcore moments and crashes you’d want to see. The Cage looked a little drunk but hey, that added to the charm. Payne was the monster the pair had to put down before we saw Grant put down Moore properly. He can’t seem to escape the OGs though as Jimmy Lyon entered the cage after the match and laid down the gauntlet. He’s the next contender and has nothing left to lose. Grant better bring his balls cos it’s going to be a streetfight. It looks like a champ’s work is never done.

All images courtesy of H2O, Marth555