WARNING: STRONG VIOLENCE AND LANGUAGE AHEAD

Welcome back to H2O and another wild night of the hardcore hustle. The company’s rising stars and regular warriors were ready to battle it out again for glory, titles, and more sweet, sweet screen time. It was going to be a mix of regular fights, multi-man madness, and a good dose of gore. Amongst the matches tonight, we’d see Adonis Valerio get his shot at the Hybrid Title, Alex Stretch, and Anthraxx in a Four Corners of Pain match, Jimmy Lyon going for the H2O Heavyweight Title, and much much more leading to a massive battle of the bosses. It would be DMDU vs H2O as Joel Bateman’s US tour of terror came to New Jersey for a 200 light tube match with Matt Tremont. It was all to play for as H2O gave Joel Bateman a warm welcome. Let’s get into anarchy.

Rocket defeated Pauly Hardbody via Frog Splash

Before the first match could get underway, we had a very pissed-off Duncan Aleem spitting venom at people on the mic. His match with Devon Moore was nowhere to be seen and now his gear had been nicked. He ran down Moore and the crowd until the man himself appeared, hit the Spliff Clipper, and got an instant three-count. It had not been a good day for Jeff Cannonball’s new best friend. Our first proper match of the night saw the Alien Rocket take on Pauly Hardbody in a creative spot of opening match fun. They went straight to the flippy shit with Rocket landing a Spanish Fly within the first minute. They took their fight around ringside with hard landings and high-flying, no fear shown by either, even if they crashed and burned. Partway through, Jimmy Lloyd took to the empty commentary booth and lost his mind as these two just kept upping the ante with even nastier landings and power moves. The ref was dropped and Rocket took full advantage with his extra clocking Hardbody and ended things with a monster head kick into the Frog Splash. This was pretty cool. It was a rapid-fire opening bout of athleticism and flippy shit with Hardbody being screwed out of a debut win. It was given an extra air of excitement as Lloyd was losing his shit on commentary.

Tornado Tag: GG Everson & Nick Grande defeated Affirmative Action (Darien Hardway & Leroy Robinson) via Everson STO on Robinson

.@GGEverson1 with a go home driver!#TremontScience @H2OWRESTLING @indiewrestling
▶️https://t.co/d3DddxfYzx pic.twitter.com/BUwrAvcWCS

— Rob (@HeyyImRob) March 15, 2022

GG Everson had turned a new leaf. He was no longer the heater and wanted the fans to rediscover him and his power. For that, he was aiding Nick Grande, the Undiscovered champion in a tornado tag bout against Affirmative Action. Grande has beaten Hardway before, would Everson and Robinson change that? Matt Tremont joined Lloyd on commentary and watched the spectacle unfold as these two teams instantly unleashed hell on each other. Since there were no tags, everyone could just unload on each other. That’s just what they did, showing off a wealth of power and technique. Grande and Everson had found a nice rhythm but they couldn’t contend with the raw power of Hardway as he kept exploding into action. Affirmative Action was bullying Grande now with Everson’s bursts of power only delaying beatdowns. Everson eventually drilled both with a double STO and everyone started hitting their kill shots. Everson got the big win by killing Robinson and the road to redemption had begun. This was a fun little bout that has re-established Everson whilst his mentor watched on. It’s hard not to just sit back and enjoy crashes like this.

Reid Walker defeated Frank Bonetti & Ryan Redfield via Swanton Bomb on Bonetti

Time for some more rising star warfare. Reid Walker, the golden star of the company was going into battle against the powerhouse, Big Red Ryan Redfield, and the ref turned wrestler Frank Bonetti. This was a perfect spotlight for all three as Walker and Redfield have continuously impressed as of late and Bonetti could use this chance to disrupt that. Bonetti ran his mouth and got treated as a chopping bag for it. Redfield and Walker kept beating on him then took out each other as their punching bag took a seat to bide his time and pick his moment, leading to a double low blow. Walker was dealing with a bum shoulder and couldn’t stop the onslaught as Bonetti took out his frustrations on both foes, using Redfield as a weapon for extra damage. Once things became more competitive it became a greatest hits showcase for all as Redfield got to show off his power, Walker his speed and athleticism, and Bonetti his striking. Everyone brought it for this one and everyone got their time to shine. Despite everyone’s best efforts, Walker managed to take the win with a well-timed Swanton and racked up another win for his hot streak. This might be considered a throwaway match but everyone involved made the most of it so it’s hard to complain.

Four Corners of Pain: Alex Stretch vs Anthraxx ended in No Contest

Oh boy, it was time to get nasty. New Undiscovered champion, Anthraxx was going to show just why he held that belt in a Four Corners of pain match with his new rival, Alex Stretch. We had two hardcore horror show wrestlers ready to tear each other apart for a chance to get into the Ultraviolent Kingdom. They’d brawled around the Showboat, now it was time to bring the fight back home. There was barbed-wire galore and two men ready to go through it. A technical opening quickly gave way to sadism as Stretch met the wire and Anthraxx kept finding more ways to cut him up with barbed-wire boards and bats. The pair kept showing their wrestling ability whilst finding nastier ways to launch each other into the wired contraption around ringside. It was an excellent display for both as the blood flowed, the wire cut, and the pair kept trooping on, tearing more chunks out of each other. Stretch certainly won the sadism award as he hit Antraxx square in the balls with the barbed-wire bat, even employing a run-up for this display of barbarism. Even the ring couldn’t hold them as this brawl broke to the outside, Stretch flying like a madman in his quest to break Anthraxx. Concrete and wire made for a lethal combo, especially for the self-destructive duo. This trend continued back in-ring as the pair kept hurting each other and themselves with the wire. They couldn’t finish their fight though as the Monster Chuck Payne invaded and broke them both. He held them hostage demanding a shot in the Kingdom. Tremont gave him what he wanted but as Payne attacked the pair, it would be a triple-threat opener, Payne vs Anthraxx vs Stretch, the winner gets a buy to the finals. Be careful what you wish for Chuck.

Four-Way Elimination: Chris Bradley defeated Austin Luke, Dyln McKay & Brandon Kirk via Tacked-up From the Heavens on Luke

Pumphandle blue thunder bomb through some open chairs from @ItsBrandonKirk!#TremontScience @H2OWRESTLING @indiewrestling
▶️https://t.co/d3DddxfYzx pic.twitter.com/pZh5azhAEb

— Rob (@HeyyImRob) March 15, 2022

We continued the train of Kingdom qualifiers with a four-way elimination match. It would be the student slayer Brandon Kirk taking on the H2O standouts Chris Bradley, Austin Luke, and Dyln McKay. The last one standing getting a spot in the Kingdom. Hopefully, this one would reach a natural conclusion. As per usual, it was fuck the Kirks and he really did himself no favours by making himself public enemy number one in the match. As you can imagine, Lloyd was full of “praise” for Kirk. Things got chaotic fast and everyone just took to the match, kicking and killing each other. Kirk went to some trusty chairs as he wasn’t going to be doing any flying. He kept bringing in the fuckery but it couldn’t get him any pins, Bradley completely no-selling a tack bat and kicking out of the Chair platform Psycho Bomb. Everyone took Kirk out before he could do any more damage and went back to their regularly scheduled breakdown of each other. McKay was the next out as Luke killed him with a Tower of London onto a chair. There were now two people left and Bradley went right back to the hardcore with more tacks. They continued to brain each other until Bradley could get upset with From the Heavens. The Hardcore Hoss was going to the Ultraviolent Kingdom, punching his ticket with blood and tacks. This had been an absolute war with everyone bringing out the big guns. Kirk might have gone out first but he’d made himself the biggest threat, McKay and Luke continued to find new ways to utilise the fuckery and Bradley got the big win overall. This is how you do high-stakes, high-reward type matches.

H2O Hybrid Title: Kennedi Copeland defeated Adonis Valerio via Folding Schoolboy

Time for some title fights. First up, the H2O Hybrid Title was up for grabs as Kennedi Copeland was not trapped out by the weather this time and was going to give Adonis Valerio his title shot. He’d run her down as being cowardly at the last show so now she had even more of an excuse to kick his ass and shut the Naughty One up. That trash-talking continued as the bell rung with Valerio still running down the champ, earning himself a flurry of fists to the face. You do not piss off Copeland. It was too easy for her as she kicked the shit out of Valerio and made him look like a chump. This ignited something in Valerio who tapped into that mean streak and started brutalising Copeland, ignoring the rules and doing whatever it took to gain a foothold. With a continuous barrage of hair-pulling and other shenanigans, Valerio broke down the champ and brought the match to a screeching halt. Copeland wouldn’t quit though and used the buckles to get back into the match, getting a measure of revenge on Valerio and turning the tide. The same was said of Valerio though, who knocked her back down to hit that obnoxious leg drop. When that didn’t get the win, Valerio tried to take matters into his own hands and use the title as a weapon but Copeland ducked and rolled him up for the win. The champ had retained again, surviving the mauling and finding her time to strike. The Naughty One had been shut down but hell, he’d shown something here. He’s more than just stealing wins, he can fight. Just here, his anger got the better of him and Copeland used that to full effect. I doubt this is far from over either as the dickhead attacked post-match, wrecking the champion again and leaving with a sneer.

H2O Heavyweight Title Street Fight: Deklan Grant (w/Jess Moss) defeated Jimmy Lyon via Chair Pile Piledriver

.@chondoart ENCITES A CHAIR RIOT.#TremontScience @H2OWRESTLING @indiewrestling
▶️https://t.co/d3DddxfYzx pic.twitter.com/d6zUsKS1p6

— Rob (@HeyyImRob) March 15, 2022

The gore was incoming as we had ourselves a street fight. Jimmy Lyon had called his shot and now he was reaping the rewards. Grant had given him what he’d wanted and now the pair were about to destroy each other. Lyon is out to prove he’s not a failure but Grant couldn’t stop rubbing salt in the wounds as he’d been in the business a fraction of the length of Lyon and garnered way more success. Now he with, Jess Moss by his side, was going to embarrass Lyon in the match he’d asked for. This got rough as Lyon and Grant beat the absolute shit out of each other. We had gussets, chairs, signs and so much more brought into play as these two tried to cut and bludgeon each other to death. The bad blood flowed amongst the crimson leaking from their heads as the two took their fight all around the H2O Centre. Jess did her best to not get involved in the violence but when the chips were down, she had to save her man. With things not going his way, Grant tried to retreat but he was cut off by Devon Moore playing enforcer. Lyon beaned the distracted Grant with the stop sign and incited a chair riot. The champ was buried under chairs so Lyon piled on with a Swanton. He took too long to pin so Grant managed to kick out. Jess tried to rescue Grant again but got nailed with the stop sign. Grant used the distraction to land a nutcracker and the TKO but Lyon wasn’t out yet. They continued to wrestle amongst the chairs with Lyon almost securing victory with a Crossface when another person made their presence felt. Marc Angel invaded the ring and knocked Lyon loopy. Grant capitalised with Crossroads and a Piledriver to take the win. The champ had retained but it had been far from easy. He’d needed help from multiple sources to put down the deathmatch veteran. It was a big name to score a win over but I imagine Grant is leaving with some new scars after this one. A great effort from both here. Tremont was sick of seeing Angel screwing stuff up so as of now, both he and Jimmy Lyon have an opening battle for the Ultraviolent Kingdom. Time for Lyon to get some revenge.

Boss vs Boss 200 Light Tubes: Matt Tremont defeated Joel Bateman via Skinny Tubes DVD

Last but not least, the main event. It was time for the boss vs boss 200 light-tubes death-fest. We had Matt Tremont repping his home company against the invading Australian sensation, Joel Bateman. Bateman had laid down the gauntlet and Tremont was going to make him pay for opening his mouth. He was going to send Bateman back to DMDU in a fucking body bag. There were 200 tubes to break and two of the most proficient at doing so in that ring. They opened with stiff hands and quickly got to work with the broken glass, Bateman tasting not one but two corner bundles. That quickly became three as Tremont showed no mercy, cutting up Bateman’s head with broken tubes. This continued to escalate as Tremont booted more tubes into his chest and sent him flying at multiple rows of ring-tied tubes. He rolled out and ambushed Tremont on the outside, finally getting to smash some tubes into the H2O Boss. They continued to smash glass around the ring with Tremont firing Bateman up and the pair engaging in some mutually assured destruction with a double tube headbutt spot. It was all getting very bloody very fast as the pair just kept swinging at each other. They tested each other’s jaw with a barfight and Bateman scored another critical hit with a tube-assisted knee strike as Tremont tried to enter the ring again. The tubes kept breaking and Bateman dropped Tremont face-first onto the glass with a Hangman’s DDT. Tremont wasn’t going down so the pair grabbed a whole load of tubes and started duelling. Bateman went first this time and the pair proceeded to try to one-up each other with tubes to the dome.

Tremont went tube wild and broke a whole lot more with a Samoan Drop. Bateman had messed with the bull and he was definitely getting the horns. Bateman pushed Tremont into the final corner bundle and collided with that headbutt but still couldn’t keep Tremont down. He kept stalking him with more tubes, gave Tremont an Aussie compliment, and nailed him with a tube Swanton. Bateman went backstage and returned with a pile of skinny tubes, eliciting cries of horror from everyone. He lined one up to swing but Tremont broke it with a lariat and ended things with the DVD onto the pile. Bateman was bested and the Bulldozer got to stand tall, a bloody, glassed, and happy mess. He and Bateman had just created a crimson masterpiece with the pair telling an awesome story of companies going to war. At the end of the day, they’re both masters of the craft and they respect the fuck out of each other. It had been a vicious match of tough love but I don’t think either would have been happy with it any other way. They couldn’t bask in the glory though as Tremont was attacked by a hooded assailant. It hadn’t been his night as things had kept going wrong all night and now, he was being personally attacked. Colby Corino was the man attacking and tried to hang Tremont with a bull rope but Bateman scared him off. He has a match coming up with Tremont and he clearly wanted to break his opponent early, spoiling a big moment in the process. With Corino gone, Bateman got the ovation he deserved and a new bridge has been built between DMDU and H2O. That is a very exciting prospect to think about. There was one final fuck you though as Atticus Cogar appeared to have left Tremont a special message he found at the end of production. Seems their little game is far from over too.

Swanton bomb with light tubes from @TheSmash_Hit!#TremontScience @H2OWRESTLING @indiewrestling
▶️https://t.co/d3DddxfYzx pic.twitter.com/E3Mw3Y4SKr

— Rob (@HeyyImRob) March 15, 2022

All images courtesy of H2O, HeyyImRob