WARNING: STRONG VIOLENCE AND LANGUAGE AHEAD
Welcome back to H2O and to another double-bill of hardcore and hustling. Following the shocking fallout of Ultraviolent Kingdom, Kennedi Copeland and her group of outcasts were going to answer for their attacks. Across the two shows, we were going to see that group pushed and tested. To start we had Sweet Dreams 2, featuring Mouse, Kennedi Copeland, and Austin Luke as they faced Reid Walker, Lowlife Louie, and Marcus Mathers with Luke having to deal with Mathers in a grudge match. Alongside that, the Keepers of the Gate showed off their full might against WTF, The Endgame defended the H2O Tag Titles against Alex Stretch and Anthraxx, the new number one contender was decided in a hoss fight, and much much more leading to a gory dream match between Masha Slamovich and Matt Tremont. This was the first dose of anarchy so let’s get into the carnage.
Reid Walker defeated Mouse via Sparrow DDT
AFI’s Miss Murder was the first sound to grace the H2O Centre tonight as Kennedi Copeland and her group opened the show. She had a message to deliver and when she could get a word out over the anger of the fans, she laid it out for them. She and her comrades were angry about being forgotten. Tremont had built them all up to let them fall, costing them titles in the process. The time had come to take it all themselves. Their talking brought out Reid Walker (and his newly repaired surfboard) to interrupt and get the show back on track. After a sick surfboard dropkick to the group, he laid into his official opponent, Mouse. This was pure catharsis for both wrestlers here. Walker got to kick the shit out of Mouse for what the group had been doing and Mouse got to stick it to one of Tremont’s top students. It set the show off nicely with some explosive action and evil deeds before giving Walker the snap win and a beat down from Ross and Bradley. This is two shows in a row Walker’s precious surfboard has been broken. Despite the loss, Mouse looked great and it’s nice to see him getting ring time again, even if he’s had to claw it back himself.
The Keepers of the Gate (Jeff Cannonball, Duncan Aleem & Myke Quest) defeated White Trash Forever (Ron Mathis, Bruce Grey & Tyler Voxx) via Low Blow Roll-up on Mathis
The questionable groups continued as the Keepers of the Gate came out to play. They now had Myke Quest amongst their ranks, giving them even more muscle to do the “best” for H2O. Cannonball had warned the ref that if WTF did anything screwy, to DQ them. Once again, he seemed more interesting in finding ways out of fighting than actually competing. This match was very punishing for Duncan Aleem. He started the match and had his plums pulverised by WTF and even his own partner as Cannonball tried to show the ref the injustices he’d suffered. The Keepers of the Gate continued to feel the wrath of WTF and their taint and testicle-based attacks as Quest too couldn’t stop them from breaking his balls. After some shenanigans, Quest was able to break down Voxx and the match’s tone shifted drastically. It remained fun and we saw some excellent teamwork between Cannonball and his crusaders. WTF got their comeback and Mathis proved to be the powerhouse once again but it wasn’t enough. The low blow count went through the roof and Cannonball used one on Mathis to take the win. Gotta love seeing the arbiter of the rules breaking them to win. WTF got the last laugh though as they took out their anger on Aleem, making Cannonball and Quest look like babies in the process.
Deklan Grant (w/Jess Moss) defeated Nick Grande via TKO
Well, wasn’t this a treat for Nick Grande? The champion had turned up on his off night to give someone an opportunity. It felt more like he was holding the show hostage but it’s all a matter of perspective. He called out Grande and Grande answered, giving us an impromptu fight. The title might not have been on the line but hey, a win over the champ is no joke. This was fine for what it was. Grande took advantage of the opportunity granted and had the champ reeling but ended up too distracted by Jess Moss. They kept things competitive and brought out the big guns to flesh out the time they had and put on a match worth the champion’s time. Not much more you could really ask of a match like this.
H2O Tag Team Titles: The Endgame (Darien Hardway & Leroy Robinson) defeated Alex Stretch & Anthraxx via Chair Platform Krypton Edge on Stretch
Talk about a baptism by fire. The Endgame had won the tag titles last month and now they were getting their first proper defence against two unhinged competitors who were taking time out from killing each other to kill someone else. They might not be the most high-profile tag team but it’s hard to put the hurting on people who love destroying each other with chairs and barbed wire. This fucking rocked. Both teams were on top form and we got to see some of the wrestling ability Anthraxx and Stretch have been hiding. They can deathmatch with the best of them and now prove they have the skills to back it up. Stretch brought his madman style of flying and fighting whilst Anthraxx brought his power and Suplex game. The champs were also on top form and despite a rocky start, found their way into the match. We got to see some of the best from both teams before a ref bump ruined the challengers’ chances of walking away with those titles. Endgame used their belts as weapons and ended the match by killing Stretch with a nasty Krypton Edge through a load of chairs. This got people’s pulses pounding in the right ways and gave the new champions their first hellish defence. I hope Stretch and Anthraxx continue to work together as there’s a lot of potential in that pairing. It was certainly refreshing to see them leave a ring without trying to murder each other.
H2O Heavyweight Champion Contendership: Mitch Vallen defeated Devantes, GG Everson & Ryan Redfield via Crossface on Redfield
Hoss fight! Hoss fight! Not just any hoss fight though, it was a four-way hoss fight to determine a new number one contender. It would be Mitch Vallen vs GG Everson vs Ryan Redfield vs the debuting Hoss of Hosses Devantes. This was going to be a heavy-hitting clusterfuck and I was here for it. Devantes made no friends and went right after the H2O Hoss division. As I learned late on, it was an elimination match too as everyone piled on Devantes to stop him destroying them all. He left a strong statement on H2O but had to be eliminated quickly lest the ring and all their bodies break. GG Everson was the next to die as he and Redfield tried to co-exist to take out Vallen but that plan quickly went out the window. He too got some good licks in but fell too quickly. That left Vallen and Redfield. From there, we got a brutal slugfest of a fight with the pair really laying into each other. They held nothing back and pushed the pace of the match right up before Vallen got the shock win with a Crossface. That came out of nowhere but showed that Mitch is more than his power, he has technique too. He is the new number one contender and fights Grant for the title tomorrow. I’d have like to see Redfield take it but hey, life’s a Mitch then you die. That fight is going to hurt.
Kennedi Copeland defeated Lowlife Louie via Cross-Armbreaker
— RydeenBomb (@RydeenBomb) April 23, 2022
This was definitely not the match Kennedi Copeland had in mind. She had crossed the boss and hoped that he’d want to retaliate. Instead, she had found her message fell on deaf ears and was taking on the H2O Hero Lowlife Louie instead. This would still be a challenge and if anything, could help cement her hatred for management by killing off a company favourite. Louie never goes down easy but if anyone had the tools to break him, it was Copeland. Louie started off wrestling but got bored quickly. He wasn’t here for that shit and brought out some toys. If Copeland wanted to dance it would be under no rules. He didn’t get the chance to use the toys though because Copeland forced him to wrestle and began mangling his arm. He fought back hard and nearly killed her with chops but Copeland had her fun trying to tear his shoulder apart. Better still for her, he’d removed rope breaks so he was double fucked. Louie held on and remained steadfast, getting his own back on Copeland and bringing out the fork. Copeland countered it and with his arm trapped, hammered it square into his forehead. Louie’s toys came to bite him in the ass and balls as Copeland got even more sadistic, wrecking more limbs with them. Karma came into play and they were both left bleeding. The horror show kept on going as the two kept upping the ante until finally, Copeland got the win with a Cross-Armbreaker. Louie wouldn’t give but the ref forced a stoppage before Copeland could separate his shoulder. It was a mammoth task of a match but Copeland had gotten the win. Louie had brought his best but it hadn’t been enough to stop this new movement. Miss Murder had her first victim. Somehow, I doubt it ends there.
Falls Count Anywhere Grudge Match: Austin Luke defeated Marcus Mathers via Bundle Breaker Tower of London to the floor
— RydeenBomb (@RydeenBomb) April 23, 2022
Okay, time to get nasty. Marcus Mathers and Austin Luke seemed doomed to do this forever. No matter who wins or loses, another match is made. They’ve fought traditionally and now it was time for something a bit more barbaric. No rules, falls count anywhere and a whole lot of bad blood to be spilled. Luke might be sick of this feud but Mathers wasn’t, he wanted Luke’s head on a spike. Within seconds, the pair had made use of the stipulation, brawling around the venue and taking the fight outside. This one went so far off the rails, it was ridiculous in the best way possible. These two knew they needed to take things up a level and they did. This was their most violent encounter to date and one of the nastiest matches the pair could have come up with. Both took heavy knocks and hard landings but kept on going, frenzied into beating the absolute shit out of each other. For twenty-plus minutes, these two tried to kill each other. Most people already see these two as the top H2O students and this just further proved that point. I don’t want to get too into detail because this is one to watch. It is intense as hell, brutal as hell, and another damn good chapter in the pair’s story. Luke might want to move on but with matches this good, it’s hard to see anyone else agreeing with him. That finish has deathmatch wrestlers squirming. It got bloody as fuck and often hard to watch, the calling signs of a good grudge match. Luke can’t afford to put the brakes on yet either as he gets his wish. He has new competition coming, the Death Samurai AKIRA.
Masha Slamovich defeated Matt Tremont via Glass Pane Crash Landing
Last but not least, the main event. Matt Tremont loves to fight the best. Be it the best in deathmatch, the best in his students, or even the best in the world. Now, he wanted to fight Masha Slamovich. They had the main event spot and you could bet the Russian Dynamite was bringing her Russian Deathmatch. The Bulldozer didn’t quite know what he was stepping in the ring with. Slamovich is as tough as they come and not afraid of getting bloody. This started instantly as Slamovich booted Tremont in the face and hammered him with fists. Tremont was stunned but quickly smiled and returned the fight, stunning Slamovich with shots to the mouth and filling the ring with plunder. They continued to kill each other around ringside, Slamovich making a chair pile on the concrete and introducing Tremont to her barbed wire bat. Tremont met her on the apron and began mauling her again before they both crashed onto the chair pile below. The hardware kept coming as Slamovich dropped a printer on the boss and set up a good old-fashioned barfight. They traded fists before Slamovich rocked him with a head kick and brained him with another chair. That woke up the Bulldozer and he fucking levelled Slamovich with another hard shot to the jaw. She too got a chair to the bonce and Tremont vanished backstage to retrieve some super-tube bundles. The action returned to the ring and the pair kept beating the absolute shit out of each other. This was just pure physicality. The glass came into play as Slamovich brought one of the super bundles crashing down over Tremont’s head, only scoring a two-count. The second bundle came into play as Tremont tried to get his own back but couldn’t keep Slamovich down. That bundle lurked and they both crashed into it following a suicide Superplex from Masha. They danced around a glass pane as they fought to land a killing blow and just as Tremont had Masha at death’s door atop the turnbuckles, Austin Luke cracked him with a kendo stick. Slamovich dragged him down through the pane and took the win but she seemed less than thrilled with the interference.
It was a big win for Slamovich and the interference couldn’t overshadow that. She’d taken the best the boss could throw and came back swinging. She couldn’t bask in that glory though as Copeland and co jumped her too for daring to step in and save Tremont. It’s not a smart idea to get on Slamovich’s bad side and that’s just what Kristian Ross did. The group was sent packing as they couldn’t get Slamovich under control. Kennedi Copeland is now on Slamovich’s hit list and Tremont was all too happy to make the match. Both sides in this war are out to kill each other now and Tremont just got the deadliest weapon of them all. You don’t fuck with Masha Slamovich, even if you have an army. Copeland will also be getting her wish soon enough. Tremont is done being a sideline guy. He has his boots and his bloodlust, you best believe he’s fighting back in this war. You wanted Tremont to pay attention, well you got it.
— RydeenBomb (@RydeenBomb) April 23, 2022
All images courtesy of H2O, RydeenBomb