WARNING: STRONG VIOLENCE AND LANGUAGE AHEAD

Welcome back to H2O and the continuation of the Killjoys vs H2O saga. Kennedi Copeland took her anger out on H2O and now she and her group of outcasts were reaping the rewards. It was night two and after a hellacious set of bouts the night before, the group was in for even more action. The stakes were being raised as Mitch Vallen got his title shot, Razerwyng debuts against Dyln McKay, Bam Sullivan looks to rack up another H2O title, Lady Blakely takes on Terra Calaway in a building block deathmatch, and much much more before we get the Killjoys vs Jimmy Lyon and Storm of Entrails in an all-out six-person war. Let’s get into Night 2 of the Anarchy.

Razerwyng defeated Dyln McKay via Zwanton Bomb

BACKSLIDE DRIVER from @Razerwyng #H2OCausingHavoc pic.twitter.com/keLie7ipsV

— Tripping Balls (@IsThisWrestling) April 24, 2022

After more grievances and warnings from Copeland’s group and the boss man himself Matt Tremont, we went into the first match of the night. It promised to be a super spectacle between two gifted aerial warriors. It was going to be the Indestructible Lucha Wonder-Bird Razerwyng debuting for the Hardcore Hustle against the Straight-Edge Ledge, Dyln McKay. These two fucking killed it in the opening slot. This was wild. It blended comedy, technique, power, and speed to create the ultimate opening salvo for the show. Both let their personalities flow through the match and delivered as many one-liners or warnings as they did attacks. It was an excellent introduction to Razerwyng and his unique brand of Lucha and another entertaining challenge for McKay to show he can gameplan around people who are just as fast as him. Everyone seemed to enjoy this and it was nice to see Razerwyng pick up the big win in his debut after taking a beating. This is how you open a show up right.

Steve Sanders defeated Edward Hawkins via Corkscrew Moonsault Headbutt

choosing to call this a Corkscrew Moonsault Headbutt. @SteveSanders__ #H2OCausingHavoc pic.twitter.com/9ITKdTZFAN

— Tripping Balls (@IsThisWrestling) April 24, 2022

Next was a pleasant surprise in the H2O Centre. Steve Sanders, The Stoned Jabrone was back. It had been quite some time since we’ve seen him in action and now, he was returning to grind his ass off and get back the opportunities he was used to having. It seemed someone wanted to welcome him back, the “President” of H2O, Edward Hawkins. He was a man of few words and more a man of many knuckles to the jaw. Sanders had come to work and goddamn, Hawkins was going to make him work. This felt like a showcase for both guys as Hawkins got to be the domineering strongman, showing his power and slams but ended up getting too cocky and tanked his own ratings with a failed Moonsault. Sanders found his opportunity back into the fight and milked it for all it was worth with some nasty kicks and aerial assaults to eventually walk away with the win. It had been an impromptu fight but it had delivered some fun spots and gif-worthy moments whilst reminding us Hawkins is more than a politician since his words can be backed up with actions, and that Sanders can fucking go. Hopefully, this means more from both now they seem to be back in rotation.

H2O Hybrid Title: Adonis Valerio defeated Bam Sullivan via Pendulum Piledriver

Well shit, this was going to sting for Copeland. As she prepared for war in the back, Adonis Valerio was parading around out front with her former title. It was time for him to defend the H2O Hybrid Title and instead of her getting a rematch, it was Bam Sullivan getting an opportunity at his next H2O belt. it was time to Clutch Your Nuts as the Trash with the Stache attempted to dethrone the Naughty One. This was way better than expected. Whilst I’ve learned to never underestimate Valerio, he actually stepped up and took away Sullivan’s best weapon, his power. We know Bam is a devastating brawler and pretty damn strong so all of that is taken away once you only have one arm. Valerio was crafty in his approach and mangled Sullivan’s arm and shoulder. That didn’t stop him from trying his best to wreck the champion. There was a lot to like here, both had their moments of tribute to Eddie Guerrero with Valerio hitting the Three Amigos and Sullivan trying to win by faking a chair shot. It didn’t work but it sure made for an excellent visual. The two played well off each other and after a hard-fought battle and some real babyish tactics, Valerio was able to steal the win and retain his title. It wasn’t the textbook definition of a strong win but Valerio had managed to prove that his title win was more than just a fluke.

ISDub Undisputed King of Crazy Building Block Deathmatch: Terra Calaway defeated Lady Blakely via Blocky Curb Stomp

Time to get gory. Lady Blakely had requested a deathmatch and now she was getting more than that, she was getting an opportunity. Her wish had been granted but it wasn’t any old deathmatch, it was an ISDub Title shot against the Queen of the Dinosaurs, Terra Calaway. Bring on the blocks. They sure did, within seconds the canvas was littered with brightly coloured blocks of agony and both were taking tumbles into it. Blakely started strong but found out first-hand that pissing off Calaway leads to nothing but pain. She’d scored big with blocks and glass but Calaway just powered through and broke her with everything available, including a toy Whambulance and gusseted up Duplo Blocks. Hell, Calaway even built a tower into Blakely’s head. No mercy was shown and it was very clearly shown that at least one of the women fighting here was having a good time. Blakely had stepped up for a challenge but in the end, she was left broken and bloodied by a victorious champ. It made for ridiculously fun viewing though as the pair got creative and made the most of the mess they were able to make. LEGO™ always did push for creativity, I wonder if they could have ever dreamed of the carnage their blocks could cause?

Austin Luke defeated Drew Blood via Buckle Brainbuster

The Killjoy’s trials began anew as Austin Luke had his second match of the weekend. After an absolute blinder with Marcus Mathers, where he’d left his nemesis a bloody mess, he was now getting more blood in his weekend, this time in the form of H2O veteran, Drew Blood. There’s not too much to say about this one. It was really damn good because it had two really good wrestlers at the helm. These two just went hell for leather throughout the runtime and went all-out to kill each other. Blood seemed to want to teach Luke a lesson in humility and Luke just had the ruthless efficiency and sadism he keeps bringing to every match. They meshed well and built an ever-escalating series of shocks as both fighters seemed invincible until the last moment when Luke broke out a Buckle Brainbuster. It did exactly what it needed to do. It seems Blood is on a bit of a resurgence lately and Luke continuously puts on exceptional matches. No wonder this worked so well.

Chuck Payne defeated GG Everson via Lariat of Doom

The natural order of the show was derailed once again as The Monster Chuck Payne snatched away the mic and spat more venom at the fans and wrestlers. He’s sick of the fakes in the locker room and was challenging anyone brave enough to step up to an open challenge. He wanted to prove he could kill anyone in a fight and this was how he’d chosen to do so. That started with a vicious assault on the ring announcer, Chad Spectacular. GG Everson came out to make the save and took up the challenge laying into the Monster with all the ferocity he could muster. Things got hardcore and this hoss fight became a wild brawl that took the fight all around the venue. Payne wasn’t quite so quick to kill Everson and found his hands full with the Rising Star’s head-on fighting style and deadly power. The fuckery just made things even nastier with both guys taking horrendous landings onto chairs. Payne might have won but it had taken everything he had to do so, even if he wouldn’t admit it. Everson had taken the fight to him in a big way and when the chips were down, Payne’s Lariat saved the match for him. He couldn’t just accept the win and leave though, he had to further try to kill Everson. You don’t embarrass the monster and live. That merciless act brought out the Hoss of Hosses Devantes who stepped right up to Payne demanding a fight right here, right now. Payne refused but I hope we get that match down the line. They’d tear the fucking building apart. Everson did what he could here and definitely rocked the Monster but it seems Payne’s rampage can’t be stopped just yet.

H2O Heavyweight Title: Deklan Grant (w/Jess Moss) defeated Mitch Vallen via Keepers of the Gate Interference

Speaking of hosses, it was time for a title fight. Mitch Vallen had bested the competition last night and earned a shot at the H2O Heavyweight Title. He was coming into the fight fired up and ready to win but he’d have to contend with the scrappy champ and the shenanigans that could follow. Jess Moss was accompanying him and we all know she’ll interject in the fight if she needs to. Doing that when Vallen is around though… might not be the best idea. Who was leaving tonight with that title? Sadly, it wasn’t Mitch but it sure as shit wasn’t for lack of trying. The Man, the Mitch, the Legend was very much feeling it for this one as he quoted Jim Carrey, danced, and beat the shit out of Deklan Grant. He had the champ’s number for a lot of the match but found his momentum being continuously being broken by underhanded tactics and interference from Jess Moss. Despite all this, the champ couldn’t keep Mitch down too. Referee Nick Papagiorgio was taken out by Moss and despite Grant kicking her teeth out when their double team failed, he managed to walk away champ as they had some more help. Jeff Cannonball and Duncan Aleem prevented another ref from speeding to count a Chokebomb win and took out Mitch with a ball buster and Hurricane Boot. The Keepers of the Gate had cost Mitch the title. This was just another act of pettiness from Cannonball but I’m sure he dubs this best for business. Grant’s reign continues but he was definitely feeling the after-effects of this one as Mitch had given him and his partner a pummelling. Again, great fun to watch, I just wish H2O wouldn’t toy with my emotions by giving me hope Mitch could be the champ.

All-Out War: Chris Bradley, Kristian Ross & Kennedi Copeland vs Jimmy Lyon & Storm of Entrails (Dan O’Hare & SHLAK) ends in no contest

Cue up the AFI, it’s time for Miss Murder and the Killjoys. The outcasts were ready to kill and they’d been given a lawless match to do so. The refs were refusing to work it so the Hardcore Hoss Chris Bradley, the Full-Time Boss Kristian Ross, and Miss Murder herself Kennedi Copeland were going into an all-out war with SHLAK, Big Scare Dan O’Hare, and Jimmy Chondo Lyon. I mean good luck trying to enforce rules with SHLAK around anyway… This was Lyon’s revenge for the Ultraviolent Kingdom attack and the first act of violence Tremont was imposing on Ross and Bradley. There was blood and glass everywhere in seconds as Storm of Entrails attacked from behind and broke bundles on Ross and Bradley. Lyon smashed one into Copeland’s head and the murder began. The trio ate gussets to the head and were stabbed up mercilessly until Bradley could save Copeland from certain doom. Action spilled everywhere as a trolley of fuckery was emptied over all six competitors. Everyone got bludgeoned with chairs and smashed with tubes as action erupted all over the venue. This main event was living up to its name. The cameras and commentary had a hard time keeping up as everyone mauled everyone because who the fuck was going to step in and stop them? No one was safe as blood, glass, chairs, and more littered the ringside area and probably several of those in the front row. If you wanted blood, you were getting it by the bucket load. Copeland bore a whole lot of abuse at the hands of Storm of Entrails as she found herself alone in the ring with them, going through Death’s Door and receiving one of the gnarliest looking bombs I’ve ever seen from SHLAK. Meanwhile, outside of the ring, Ross and Bradley were taking their anger out on Lyon’s ankle. The two tag teams brawled to the outside again as Lyon and Copeland had another round of breaking shit.

Chondo was fucking up Copeland but conversely, Ross and Bradley were fucking up SHLAK and O’Hare. No team had a clear advantage so they just kept killing each other. Austin Luke and Mouse came to help and distracted the Storm of Entrails. That left Chondo alone with all three, he just didn’t know it yet, lost in the pain he was inflicting on Copeland. The three-on-one soon became four-on-one as Mouse returned and joined the dogpiling on Lyon. He valiantly fought on but he was being repeatedly blasted with tubes and event the shopping cart the weapons had come in. The final act saw Bradley bring out a weedwhacker and with one final Leatherface pose, drive it right into the ribs of Chondo. Matt Tremont had tried to call off the match before it came to this but the group had done it anyway and scarpered. The heart of the match had taken another devastating beating at the hands of Copeland and co. It had been an incredible horror show of a match full of horrifying shots and brawling. It made for one of the best H2O main event bloodbaths I’ve seen. Ross and Bradley cemented their deathmatch credentials here and Copeland proved once again why she had all that deathmatch momentum. Their tactics may have been unjust but the action can’t be denied. They had pissed off Tremont far more than they could have imagined and he delivered another challenge. Next month, Tremont’s Tag Team Deathmatch Tournament. It’ll be eight teams, Ross and Bradley, Copeland and Luke joining Ron Mathis and Tyler Voxx, Lucky 13 and Dyln McKay, Grant and Moss, Storm of Entrails, and lastly, for now, Matt Tremont and Lowlife Louie. They wanted to be noticed, they sure as hell are now. Except for Mouse… what has Tremont got against Mouse? Copeland couldn’t help getting the last laugh though, tormenting Tremont with skewers. Is there more to this group than we know?  As we’ve seen, violence is the answer, and violence was going to continue being the solution.

I'm God to everyone of you,
Jesus Christ, who died in pain for you,
I'm life, I'm death, I'm the blood for you#H2OCausingHavoc pic.twitter.com/U6kDwf4Sgl

— Tripping Balls (@IsThisWrestling) April 24, 2022

All images courtesy of H2O, Ami Moregore, IsThisWrestling