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Queens (and Kings) of The Stone Age – IMPACT – May 19th, 2022 Review

BySteph Franchomme

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Here is the case. “The Kings of the Stone Age wear armour and have axes and wrestle. The Queens of the Stone Age hang out with the Kings of the Stone Age’s girlfriends when they wrestle… Rock should be heavy enough for the boys and sweet enough for the girls. That way everyone’s happy and it’s more of a party. Kings of the Stone Age is too lopsided.” Musician Josh Homme said that, not me… And the case continues…
On the menu, this week, from Newport, NY, in a rematch of Under Siege, Violent By Design will try to regain the IMPACT World Tag Team Championship against The Briscoes. The Good Brothers will face off Honor No More OGK’s Mike Bennett and Matt Taven. Mia Yim, AAA Reina de Reinas Champion Taya Valkyrie, and Jordynne Grace will team up against IMPACT Knockouts Champion Tasha Steelz, Savannah Evans and Deonna Purrazzo. The second Ultimate-X Qualifier match will see Laredo Kid compete against Speedball Mike Bailey. So no more words, let’s get ready for some action, but your French Enygma Steph way, of course…

The Nygma’s Chart of the Week

Tom Hannifan and The Drama King Matthew Rewholdt were on commentary. On ‘BTI’, Crazzy Steve w/ Black Taurus and Havok defeated Zicky Dice w/ Johnny Swinger set in a ring on wheels (BTI is now available only on Impact Wrestling YouTube and Facebook channels at 7.30 PM EST/12.30 AM GMT and on Impact Plus).

  • Speedball Mike Bailey defeated Laredo Kid to enter the Ultimate-X Match at Slammiversary. Bailey’s leg was under the bottom rope as he was pinning Laredo Kid, but the official missed it.

  • From Japan, X-Division Champion Ace Austin abruptly cut off the end of Bailey’s victory and cut a promo promising that Bailey and King will lose when they challenge him for the Championship. Ace said he’s been busy promoting Impact and making history in New Japan, but he still has his sights set on the Ultimate-X match where he will retain.

  • Promo featuring Josh Alexander sitting in the back hearing the chants from fans chanting ‘TNA’ Josh wandered around searching for something as the chants got louder. He found a black towel over a Box that reads ‘TNA’. They promoted that we’ll be remembering the history of TNA at Slammiversary.

  • From The Maldives, Matt Cardona and Chelsea Green recorded a selfie promo on his honeymoon. He said that he’s too busy on his honeymoon to defend his Championship against Rich Swann (it will happen next week on the Wrestling Revolver Vegas Vacation show). Cardona said that he’s going to go back to hanging out with the hottest woman on the planet. Chelsea said she’s not only the hottest woman on the planet but the future Knockouts Champion when she wins the Queen of the Mountain match. Chelsea mentioned she won’t be watching the Women’s tag match tonight because she will be busy getting busy with Cardona.

  • Mia Yim, Jordynne Grace, and AAA Reina de Reinas Champion Taya Valkyrie defeated IMPACT Knockouts Champion Tasha Steelz, Savannah Evans, and Deonna Purrazzo. Yin hit the Eat Defeat on Evans for the win.

  • “Locker Room Talk” with Madison Rayne and Tenille – Madison said the locker room is zen now that the IInspiration are out of here. Tenille mentioned Swinger and Madison said it’s funny because he just didn’t show up for work today. Swinger showed up and he was dropped off by Zicky Dice. Swinger told them they can come to the dungeon and do a little rolling around. Dice said he’d love that but Madison said no one hit his buzzer pink panther. Rosemary and Havok showed up and said that The Influence haven’t beaten them yet. Tenille said they need to win a match to get a chance, Madison told them to win a match and they’ll think about it. Zicky told Havok he recognizes her from the dungeon and she slapped him down. Rosemary said that they’ll be hearing from them soon enough.

  • Backstage, Chris Sabin said the future is now and he challenged Frankie Kazarian to a match. He said the Battle of the Futures is now. We then got a flashback to Sabin vs. Kazarian in 2003.

  • Long and very interesting promo on Eric Young (I prefer to let you listen to him…).

  • Backstage, IMPACT World Champion Josh Alexander told Gia Miller he doesn’t respect everything that Eric does but he recognizes what he’s done for this company as he’s done it all. Josh said that Slammiversary is a celebration of the previous 20 years but it’ll also be the celebration of the next 20 years. Josh asked who will usher in the next generation of this company, Eric Young or Josh Alexander. If Eric wants to become Champion, he better brings the fight of his life.

  • The Good Brothers defeated Honor No More’s Matt Taven and Mike Bennett. Maria, who was on commentary, got in the ring. Mike Bennett went for a Spear on Anderson, but hit Maria instead, allowing Anderson to hit the Gun Stun for the win.

  • Sami Callihan vignette – He told Moose that he’s going to be making his life a living hell as he did to him in the past.

  • Masha Slamovich defeated Shawna Reed.

  • After the match, Havok came out to the ring and got into Masha’s face.

  • Backstage, Raj Singh, with Shera, said the bullseye is on the back of Gujjar and they are coming for him. Gujjar walked up and said he was done with this. If they have a problem, let’s solve it in the ring. Raj said this is laughable and called Gujjar disrespectful. He asked if Gujjar is going to do this alone, W. Morrissey walked up and asked who said he was by himself. Raj said it looks like he has a big friend but he has a lion. Shera got in Morrisey’s face and said next week. Gujjar said he doesn’t need Morrisey’s help, Morrisey said there’s no shame in accepting help when somebody offers. They shook hands.

  • The Briscoes defeated Violent By Design (Joe Doering & Deaner w/ Eric Young) to retain the IMPACT World Tag Team titles.

  • After the match, EY hit the ring and VBD attacked The Briscoes. Josh Alexander came to make the save as Eric Young and VBD continued their assault. Eric and Josh stared each other down and Josh talked for a moment before Eric smiled and slowly backed away. Deaner dropped Josh from behind and VBD continued their assault. The Briscoes sent Eric to the outside evening the odds, they sent Deaner and Doering to the outside with the help of Alexander. Eric hopped on the ramp, grabbed the tag belts and handed it to the Briscoes as they stared down VBD.

The Nygma’s Nutcracker(s) of the Week

– The Briscoes vs Violent By Design

Mark and Deaner kicked this off. Deaner talked trash to Mark as he got in his Ninja stance. Deaner decided to tag in Doering. Mark stared him down for a moment, back to the Ninja stance before a lock-up. Mark backed into the corner but he dodged Doering and hit him with a chop. Doering shoved Mark into the corner and Jay tagged in. Jay locked up with Doering and ducked a lariat from Doering. He attempted a shoulder block, but Doering wasn’t shaken and he hit Jay with a forearm to the back. Deaner tagged in and laid into Jay with a chop in the corner. He sent Jay to the other side and Deaner ran into an elbow. Jay connected with an elbow to Deaner as he exploded off the ropes. Mark tagged in and kicked Deaner to the midsection.

He lifted Deaner up and dropped him with a suplex. Mark wiped his hands clean, Deaner went to his feet and he exchanged chops with Mark. Jay tagged in and caught Deaner with a boot in the corner. They hit Deaner with a team combination, finished by a double stomp from Mark. Jay headbutted Deaner into the corner and stomped away at him before choking him in the corner. Mark tagged in and got some shots in before lifting Deaner up and laying into him with some shots to the head. Jay tagged in and hit Deaner with a series of rights and lefts to the midsection. Deaner was sent to the outside and Mark connected with a diving neckbreaker. Jay went for a dive but he was stopped by a running crossbody from Doering who taunted him.

Back from the break, Doering dropped Jay with a powerslam right into an elbow drop. Doering set Jay up in the ropes and tagged in Deaner, they hit a combo kick to Jay’s head. Deaner distracted the ref as Eric hit Jay in the face from the outside. Eric waved the flag on the outside as Deaner tagged in Doering. Doering hit a kick to Jay’s stomach. Doering sent Jay face-first into the corner and set him up in the turnbuckle, tagging in Deaner who hit a kick to the back of Jay. Deaner taunted Jay before choking away at him. Mark tried to get the crowd behind his brother and it inspired Jay to fight back and make the tag. Mark ducked a shot from Deaner and laid into both members of VBD with shots before Doering lifted him up, Mark fought free and sent Doering to the outside. Deaner sent him into the ropes but Mark jumped to the outside, taking out Doering. Mark was back inside and hit Deaner with a couple of shots before setting him up on the top turnbuckle. Mark hit an open-palm uppercut and sent Deaner off the top.

Mark kicked Deaner in the corner, Deaner sent Briscoe into the opposing corner, Deaner went to his feet, Doering tried to take out Mark’s feet but he dodged it and Jay took out Doering. Mark hit an overhand chop and Jay came in. They hit the double team neckbreaker powerbomb. Mark and Doering fight on the outside, Doering sent him face-first into the post. Deaner dropped Jay with a forearm. Doering tagged in and lifted up Jay, Jay fought back with forearms of his own but he ran right into a spinebuster from Doering. Doering went to his feet and lifted up Jay before tagging in Deaner. Deaner went to the top and hit a diving headbutt. Mark managed to make the save even though Doering tried to break it up. Mark fought back and hyped himself up only to run into a shoulder from Doering. Jay hit a superkick to Doering, then a hurricanrana. Doering was outside when Deaner and Jay were in the ring. Jay hit a rolling elbow to drop Deaner. Mark set up Deaner for the Doomsday Device but Doering cut it off. Deaner fought free but Jay rolled him up for the victory as Doering was distracted.

The Weekly “Enigma For a Nygma”

Johnny Swinger on wheels… That’s not a problem for me, at all. I just ask myself all the things they do with it in the Dungeon… It must keep rolling and rolling…

The Nygma’s Noticeable Facts/Awards of the Week

– The Kaiju Queen vs Hospital Masha

Finally, after 9 squash matches and as many opponents sent to her Hospital, Masha Slamovich will wrestle a “real” Knockout. And it will be Havok, a former Knockouts Champion, a member of Decay, the Kaiju Queen, well a weapon of mass destruction. Seven days will look like a long, long time…

– The World Champion vs a TNA Original – Volume II

It was interesting this week to see Josh Alexander being the one who opens Pandora’s Box of TNA memories. And, later in the episode, we listened to Eric Young, one of the TNA Originals, tell us all about his accomplishments with the company. Passing of the torch? I’m not sure… Epic fight in the making? Absolutely…

– Slammiversary 20

Three matches are set, I still think the party will be unique on its own…

To be eNYGMAtic…

A pretty good episode action-wise but so many promos and backstage segments too. We are on The Road to Slammiversary, which means some necessary build-up. We’re now 4 weeks away for the PPV, some things need to be said and done. I won’t deny that and I won’t push further because we’re really on the road to a great PPV. I can’t wait to see what’s in the TNA Pandora’s Box…
On this “Nygma is Also on The Road to Slammiversary” note, until next week (if I want), take care, stay safe, watch wrestling, and never EVER forget to stay #eNYGMAtic…

All pics, videos, and screenshots courtesy of Impact Wrestling, Fite TV, Fight Network, and AXS TV. Photocollage custom made by @frenchnygma exclusively for @steelchairmag.

By Steph Franchomme

News, Reviews, Social Media Editor, Impact Wrestling Reviewer, Interviewer Well, call me The Boss... And French...

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