WARNING: STRONG VIOLENCE AND LANGUAGE AHEAD

Welcome back to Kumite. It’s been a while since we last got to cover Derby’s combat wrestling so, of course, they came back with a bang. This time the company had gotten a ring and an outdoor venue for even more hybrid wrestling shenanigans. We had seven matches to look forward to showcasing some of the best on the scene and the big Kumite debut for the Blood Fighter, Alex Colon. They’d upped the ante in every way as we’d see Voodoo Queen vs Haley Harris, Tommbie vs Scotty Rawk, Antonio Gonzalez’s first deathmatch against Alton Thorne, Clint Margera battling Big Lou Nixon and so much more leading to the main event bloodbath between Darko and Alex Colon. Let’s get into the carnage.

Joseph Cardinal defeated The Scourge Ronon via Diving Blockbuster

Up first, after watching the crowd fail at the one fall chant, we had Joseph Cardinal taking on the Scourge Ronon. Whilst I wasn’t particularly familiar with either fighter, I’m always interested to see what Future Wrestling has to offer and the pair were very game to fight. These two showed a lot of nice things throughout this one. It took the tried and true fired-up good guy meets oppressive bad guy whilst giving both a dynamic repertoire of moves. Ronon had Cardinal right where he needed him for a lot of this one but Cardinal couldn’t be kept down or counted out. There was a lot of athleticism mixed with traditional grappling leading to a nice opening match that took the crowd on an emotional roller coaster. Seeing the crowd counted into a “bitch” chant was also rather funny to see too. Excellent work from these two to warm everyone up.

David Grant defeated Kyle Kingsley via Dark Fruits Drop

Up next was the Dark Fruits Daddy who’d brought a hammer made of ciders, David Grant going to war with his usual tag partner the Breaker Kyle Kingsley, who’d also come to the ring with a massive hammer. This promised to be quite the hard hitter of a hoss fight as we could see a large number of ciders and brawling occurring throughout the match’s runtime. Goddamn, this was a stiff one. We saw two beefy men batter the absolute shit out of each other. It was all bombs, slugs, and power moves throughout as these friends managed to make better enemies. They kept everything respectful, with both demanding the best of each other and paying the price when they were nearly KO’ed. Everything had an impact and provided a completely different tone to the match that had come before it. This was an absolute slug-out or as Malachi on commentary called it wrestling Bovril as it was fluid wrestling and beefy.

Derbyshire Street Fight: The Voodoo Queen defeated Harley Harris via Sign Slam

The brawling badassery continued as The Voodoo Queen prepared to fight Harley Harris. Once again no one in the venue was safe from the action as the pair prepared to tear it up in and around the ring. Both had their weapons of choice and after two cancellations, were finally ready to raise some hell. Well, this one definitely got nasty. The pair started tame enough with some mind games and chain grappling before spilling outside for some hardcore brawling, drink spillages, and street fight action. Both fighters looked to use whatever means necessary to bludgeon, whip, scald and disturb the other across an absolutely madcap match. We even saw cursed bras enter the fray as Voodoo Queen looked to leave as much of a mark on her foe as possible, whether through coffee burns, fist marks, or bad juju from evil bras. Harley was no slouch either and proved that a belt can do more damage when targeted at an arm than just whipping blindly with it. The pair managed to make this match as fun and energetic as they did violent and mean. It was a nice way to up the ante and bring the crowd some deadlier fun. Plus, it was great to hear The Prodigy’s Voodoo People, once again.

Tommbie defeated Scotty Rawk via Occult Assault

The Number One contender to the Death Wolf Title, the Deathmatch Slasher Tommbie was back in action next as he prepared to bring his signature brand of violence to another Kumite newcomer, Scotty Rawk. The Greebo Grappler is no stranger to stiff competition so Tommbie had better be prepared to give it his all since Rawk has been a champion all across the UK. Worse still for Tommbie, it was going to be a traditional wrestling match. No weapons, no fuckery, just pure grappling goodness. Tommbie wasn’t happy but he was going along with it because it would give him the chance to kick Rawk’s “fucking head off.” What followed was an absolute belter of a match. Rawk showed early on Tommbie wasn’t going to kill him quite so easily with a flurry of high-speed, high-flying shots and maintained that pace until Tommbie cut him off with a cock shot in the ropes. From there, it was a battle for survival as Goth Lesnar showed off his full power, battering, throwing, and booting down Rawk with ease. That didn’t stop Rawk from coming back whenever he got the chance, nearly ending things with an armbar and countering the deadliest of moves. Eventually, Tommbie got sick of playing nice and used his bat as a distraction before misting Rawk and ending him with the Occult Assault. It had been a vicious display from the number one contender and another show-out performance from Rawk. This was great and it’s always funny hearing what insults Tommbie is going to make. It’s good to see he’s as intense in the VOD as he is when I saw him live.

Deathmatch: Alton Thorne defeated Antonio Gonzalez via Tacked Chair Bridge Powerbomb

Just before this could kick-off, we were filled in on what had happened during the break. Malachi had been prepared to announce the next match when former broadcast Mark Adams made a villainous entrance to take credit for the cop calling. He’d also set a trap for the Kumite frontman in the form of Ruffneck. Thankfully, Malachi was saved by Act 2 who took the beating instead. Once that nastiness was done with, the bloodletting began with a baptism by fire. The last time we saw Antonio Gonzalez in action, he was knocking Big Poppa Goose Troy around a bar with chairs and doors, now he was evolving up to tubes, skewers and so much more. The problem was, he wasn’t debuting in this style against a newbie, he was taking on the nettle-eating King Freak Alton Thorne. Shit was about to get real nasty. Fucking hell, that’s putting it mildly. This was a bloody riot of a bout. Gonzalez did not fuck about in this one. He might be the Deathmatch Fuckboy but he was going all-out in this, bringing skewers, tacks, glass, and anything else to hand to stop Thorne in his tracks. It was a barbaric battle with both guys getting bloodied up throughout. The records and nettles made their return with Thorne stabbed up by the records and both guys feeling the sting of the nettle pile. It was very physical, very brutal, and full of wince-inducing moments for the wrestlers and the fans. Thorne has finally racked up that first win meaning the Deathmatch Outsider has found his way in. I cannot understate how good this one was. Deathmatch debuts can be a mixed bag but Gonzalez came to work and Thorne gave him everything. In the hall of the King Freak, the Monarch won the day.

Deathmatch: Big Lou Nixon defeated Clint Margera via Rear-Naked Choke

The deathmatch shenanigans continued as Clint Margera found out who his replacement fighter was. Originally, this was meant to be Margera vs Big F’N Joe but Joe was out with injury so Big Lou Nixon had stepped in to fill the void. The hybrid fighter was already packing knockout power without even needing weaponry so it was going to be interesting to watch Margera adapt to this situation. By this point, the Geordie Judas, Lou Nixon was public enemy number one and wasn’t afraid to rub it in, so there’d be no mercy shown here on either side. To make it even worse, Nixon was refused to do anything deathmatch-related. He fought, pummelling the shit out of Margera but wouldn’t indulge in death, breaking tubes under his boot and relying on his striking and MMA acumen instead. Margera fought back hard, unleashing his own stiff strikes, and dragged Nixon kicking and screaming into the realm of death. We had bundles breaking, nightmarish chair shots, and Margera being mangled across a television. It was another intense contest with the fan’s rage simmering the entire time Nixon kept up his smug act. He put Margera to sleep, choking him out with a Rear-Naked Choke, making sure to seal the deal. Nixon has turned his back on the outlaws and openly showed disdain throughout this one, trying to beat up another of the deathmatch favourites. Although he may have succeeded, Margera pushed him way further than he’d intended. Despite Nixon’s forced apprehension, this match was still pretty damn good. I love Nixon’s twatty attitude mixing with the underdog fire of Margera. It felt like so much more than just a wrestling contest, Margera was fighting for everyone in that beer garden against someone full of contempt for them all. It’s just a shame that Nixon was able to get the win and rub even more salt in the wounds.

Kumite Rules Deathmatch: Danny Darko defeated Alex Colon via Tube Pile Frog Splash

Last but not least, the main event. Alex Colon is one of the most widely-regarded deathmatch wrestlers of all time. He had brought the blood fighting to Derby and Kumite had chosen the Light Beer King, Danny Darko to be their champion. The Deathmatch Outlaw had his work cut out for him though as Colon is considered the best for a reason. This was going to be under the proper Kumite rules too. The ropes were gone and every bit of fuckery in the arsenal was up for grabs. Fucking hell, this rocked. That shouldn’t be surprising but both men went above and beyond on the glass, the savagery, and put on a masterclass in blood-soaked wrestling fun. They took the slow-burn approach, building with some shunting and shoving before breaking out into pure insanity with masses of tubes, chairs, glass and so much more. We had a weedwhacker making an appearance as Colon used it to mash an entire block of tubes into Darko’s chest and Something Something Wrestling had outdone themselves by making a Death Wolf tube sword. It was pure carnage in the best way with both guys cheating death at multiple points.

The fans were going mad for this as they continuously had to dodge flying glass. Darko managed to escape the Blood Fighter Clutch with head butts and eventually, after fighting off the whacker and going through a door, took the win with a tube pile Frog Splash off a nearby roof. It had taken everything he had but one of the most hard-working, underrated deathmatch wrestlers in the UK had toppled one of the best in the world. This was more than a main-event calibre and is well worth booting up IWTV to watch. At the time this show was going on, deathmatch wrestling was still being lambasted after a pair of idiots did it wrong, in front of the wrong crowd. This show should serve as a reminder that when it’s done right, for the right audience it is incredible. Kumite deserves to break out and become the next major player on the scene and with shows like this, I don’t think that’s too far-fetched. Stars from around the world are coming to the realm of the Death Wolf and that isn’t changing any time soon. Kumite is just kicking off and we’re all here for the ride.

Y'all done sleeping on me yet? pic.twitter.com/Z5PwiGANcz

— Darko (@theDannyDarkouk) May 10, 2022

All images courtesy of KCW, Darko, Shiekysays,