WARNING: STRONG VIOLENCE AND LANGUAGE AHEAD
Welcome back to DMDU and to the Great Emu War Games. The Anti-Deathmatch Party were about to meet their ultimate fate as they helped make Australian Wrestling history alongside the deathmatch division they reviled so much in Australia’s first-ever War Games match. That was taking centre stage but there were many other trials and tribulations for the roster to get through in the build to it. Kid Valiant was getting his DMDU Heavyweight Title rematch, Edward Dusk looked to sacrifice another victim as he took on the Antidote JK Moody, both rings would be used to host a ten-man scramble, Tarlee tried to earn herself a date with Matt Hayter, and of course, deathmatches. Tonight was going to be DMDU’s biggest event to date so let’s see who rose and who fell. It’s time to get into the carnage.
Scramble: Chanel Phoenix defeated Rochelle Rogue, Emman the Kid, Bruce Buchanan, Scotty Roach, Natasha Valentine, Sam Yannis, Levi Nixon, Jake Wilder & Tyson Reed via Armbar on Buchanan
The show opened with an absolute clusterfuck of a scramble match. Ten fighters, two rings, and a whole lot of madness in the making were on the menu as the Great Emu Clusterfuck of Doom prepared to kick into gear. We had DMDU favourites, some returning faces, and the DMDU in-ring debut of Natasha Valentine rolled into one madcap match. Only one could win but how were they going to contend with nine other combatants? This lived up to its name alright. It was an absolute clusterfuck of car crash action as we saw all ten fighters do what they do best. It was a constant barrage of strikes, slams, power, and flying as everyone took on everyone for their time in the sun. No one was safe as the action could come for them at any moment. We saw SGB working together, high flying galore, more harsh striking exchanges and so much more across this match’s runtime. Even commentary was struggling to keep up as there was just so much happening at any one moment. Chanel Phoenix stood atop the body pile in victory after everyone had gone finisher crazy. It was down to her and Bad Mood Bruce Buchanan who she tapped out with her dangerous armbar. It was a massive win and another match showing how she’s becoming the Alpha of the company. Bloody hell, this had so much energy in it that it got everyone warmed up and ready for whatever came next. A good showing from all and one hell of a fucking opener.
Matt Hayter defeated Tarlee via Leverage Pin
The next match was going to be no less hectic as we got the continuation of Tarlee’s quest for Matt Hayter’s love. They’d flirted throughout their first dance and now, a date was on the line. All Tarlee had to do was beat Hayter in this match to win. Last time, they’d been too distracted and both gotten counted out so this time, there needed to be a winner. Could Tarlee overcome Hayter and his ego? Within seconds we had enough “Fuck him up” chants to fill the swear jar as he insulted Tarlee and the crowd hated him for it. What followed was a mix of hilarious flirting, exposed arse from Hayter, and some enjoyable wrestling. Hayter wanted to wrestle and stayed true to his word even if he kept slipping up too when it came to the tone of the match. He was getting as mystified by Tarlee as she was by him and in the end, even though he’d cheated to win the match, he couldn’t deny his feelings. Tarlee got her date and let Hayter know how happy she was by kissing him there and then. Love always finds a way, even in wrestling with the pair flirting and fighting to ignite that romance. I never knew wrestling and romcom went together, guess this kinda proves it does, huh? Great match, great comedic moments, and hopefully some funny things to follow.
Edward Dusk defeated JK Moody via The Wicked End
We went from the silly to the sinister as Edward Dusk came out next. The Eternal One has been on a warpath to satisfy the needs of his Eldritch gods and now, sacrifice number four had come knocking. It was another newcomer to the company in the Antidote, JK Moody. Could Moody be the Antidote to the unhinged, unrelenting road Dusk was cutting through the DMDU roster or was he going to be another brick in that road, marked and beaten? Fucking hell, this was a good one. Moody is the type of high-energy, high-momentum striker I love to see. He brought the fight to Dusk and never let off no matter what Dusk did to him. Even after being thrown across the commentary table into Tyson Baxter, Moody was climbing back in, shaking it off and slugging it out. He was throwing all kinds of offence at Dusk but somehow, more often than not, Dusk had the antidote to the Antidote. It made for an intense, physical and competitive contest with both guys bringing the best out of each other. Mind games dissolved into taunts and taunts into desperation as the match wore on and neither man had found their victory. The Hanged Man couldn’t seal it for Dusk and the Syringe Driver couldn’t get the job done for Moody. With options running low, Dusk used the referee as a shield, kicked Moody in the cock and ended things with the Wicked End. Dusk had claimed another sacrifice, burnt another offering and left them marked. His countdown to destruction continues and I’m morbidly curious to see what will happen when his work is done. I also hope to see more JK Moody now after that introduction. This ruled.
Shazza McKenzie defeated JXT via Shazztastic Stunner
Things were about to get hardcore, well Heartbreak-core as Shazza McKenzie made her grand return to DMDU after her time touring the USA. During her time away, she’d been continuously thinking about what to do with JXT after all the chair shots and sneak attacks. Her answer, JXT vs Shazza McKenzie III, no DQs. Anything was on the table and anything was an absolute possibility given how much bad blood had been left in the implosion of ShazzXT. Someone had to lose here and chances are the other would have to kill them to get the three-count. I wasn’t wrong. These two went to war and then some. McKenzie came out with a shopping cart full of weaponry and you can bet that they were all used to some degree. We had chair shots, doors breaking, kendo stick shots (including JXT twatting himself in the face with one), shopping carts to the face and even a good old guitar braining. This felt personal and both fighters took every opportunity to be as violent, tormenting and brutal as possible. This is the type of shit I wanted to see from the third chapter of this nasty feud. It wasn’t just a plunder match, there was plenty of great wrestling thrown in too. Shazza might have been the bloodiest of the match but she’d gotten the win, braining JXT with the guitar and ending things with a Shazztastic Stunner after he’d begged her to stop. It felt like a fitting end as Shazza got her ultimate revenge and JXT has to work out just what the hell he wants to do next.
Madness Boards Deathmatch: York defeated Jordan Samson & Xavier Black via Hold the Line on Black
Time for more blood and fuckery as we had our first full-on deathmatch of the night. It was going to be York vs Xavier Black vs Jordan Samson in a madness boards deathmatch with a spot in D.R.E.A.M on the line. The second annual DMDU Deathmatch tournament was looming and whoever won this was joining Jimmy Lloyd in the line-up. It was all to play for and these three bruisers were ready to kill. Black ended up an early punching bag, being dumped outside so Samson and York could have a hoss fight. Fucking hell, it didn’t stay that way as we had bodies flying, skewers everywhere, broken boards of different types of fuckery and a whole lot of brawling. This was my first time seeing Samson dance with deathmatch and he got the worst of a lot of this taking multiple can contraptions, wired contraptions and little being sent into the void between the rings by York. It didn’t. Black took the nastiest spot of the match by getting powerbombed onto a bed of nails and York got smacked with his own cinderblock pieces. It was all very ghoulish and very damn shocking. It made for an excellent deathmatch and York punched his ticket to D.R.E.A.M. However, he isn’t alone, Samson and Black impressed so much throughout the match that DMDU management gave them the #3 and #4 spots in the tourney. Given what we just saw here they definitely earned it. This match must have hurt.
DMDU Heavyweight Championship: GORE (w/KrackerJak) defeated Kid Valiant (w/Rochelle Rogue) via Snuff Film Powerbombs
We took a break from the deathmatches to view a potential murder. Kid Valiant had cashed in his rematch clause and was stepping toe to toe with GORE once again. It hadn’t gone well the first time but now he was refreshed, focused and ready to reclaim his title. GORE was ready to put Valiant in the hospital and KrackerJak was ready to laugh as he did so. It wasn’t a long match, Valiant started hot and attacked fast but GORE just overpowered him and had some fun. Things looked to turn in Valiant’s favour at one point as he almost scored with a roll-up and landed the Sky Lord Splash but GORE kicked out at one. From there, it was death by Powerbomb and done. GORE had won again and crushed Kid Valiant but for having the gall to call him out, KrackerJak had an even nastier idea in mind. Valiant was attended by Rochelle Rogue and since she’d tried to protect him from a post-match beating, the Brother’s Snuff took it out on her as Valiant was forced to watch. It was a vulgar display with KrackerJak unloading a staple gun into Rogue. That was the final warning to stay out of the Brother’s Snuff’s business or shit was going to get even nastier. GORE and KrackerJak want proper opponents from now on or they’re going to get bored and commit atrocities, much like we saw today.
DMDU Tag Team Championship: Big Dude Energy (Big Dave & Rickie Gilmore) defeated Misspent Youth (Aysha & Murdoch) via Big Dude Slam Move on Murdoch
The ante was being upped again as we went into the final title match of the night. Misspent Youth has dominated the tag-team division of DMDU. Be it originally as gutsy heroes to trampling foes with villainous glee. It doesn’t matter how they do it, they just have. Their biggest rivals throughout have been Big Dude Energy. BDE have been the thorn for long enough so Murdoch had made an ultimatum. One last match, BDE vs Misspent Youth in a street fight. If BDE lost, they could never challenge for the titles again. Now it was time to see if Murdoch’s gamble had paid off. It did not as we have new DMDU Tag Team Champions. BDE had to fight the ultimate uphill battle as they were jumped from the get-go. That seemed to do little but piss them off but a dominant tear was brought to an abrupt stop when Murdoch pushed Dave through a door contraption and he had to be walked off. Gilmore fought on but was getting more and more worn down by every sadistic thing Misspent Youth did to him. He had flashes of fighting but was mostly kicking out and fighting for his life. Eventually, he dodged a Murdoch Swanton and watched as Aysha and Murdoch tried to pull a “fuck this” and leave. Their exit was blocked though as Big Dave returned to the fight and we got ourselves a proper anarchic showdown between the two teams. It took everything both teams had to get the other down and drew on all their previous bouts to finally give us the moment BDE could beat the corrupted champions. It was a wild match and a wild reign for the first-ever champs. Murdoch and Aysha made those belts, now it was up to Dave and Gilmore to keep it going. Somehow, I think they’re going to do just fine. Big Dave was going to be partying tonight.
War Games: Team Deathmatch (Callen Butcher, Joel Bateman, Mad Dog, Lobo & Campbell “Camby” Crawford) defeated The Anti-Deathmatch Party (Loverboy Lochy Hendricks, Mr Wrestling Mitchell Wright, Hector Jones, Caity Luxe & Damian Rivers) via Mitchell Wright’s Surrender
Last but not least, the main event. So many elements had collided to make this possible. The Anti-Deathmatch Party had pushed and pushed, spewing their rhetoric and attacking anyone they didn’t like. Now, it was time for them to reap what they’d sown as the deathmatch division struck back. It was 5 vs 5 War Games. Things were going to get nasty within the two cages as we had Joel Bateman, Callen Butcher, Mad Dog, Damian Rivers and the one-night return of Lobo as they brought the fight to the group. The mystery remained though, who was ADMP’s fifth member and why had they teased that Team Deathmatch weren’t going to have their fifth man earlier in the show? It was time for answers, violence and revenge. Butcher and Hendricks were starting things off but with ADMP having the advantage it wasn’t hard to see the Deathmatch Champ getting overwhelmed. Jones was out next and as feared, worked with Hendricks to smash down Butcher. They made the mistake of busting Butcher open though and felt his wrath as he was fuelled by his own blood, well tried to. It was snuffed out quick under the numbers. Damian Rivers was supposed to help lighten the load but didn’t appear as he’d been taken out by the ADMP. Butcher was still alone in that cage. It only got worse as Caity Luxe joined the fray and further piled on Butcher, cutting him further with a screwdriver she’d brought to the ring.
They’d remained almost anti-weapon to that point, now they just wanted to get nasty. The ADMP were just torturing Butcher now, throwing their views aside to give the bloodletters what they want. Mad Dog finally came to the rescue as the next entrant and wasted no time in putting down the ADMP. They started getting revenge but again, couldn’t build momentum because they were soon outnumbered 2/1 again as Wright made his appearance. Mad Dog ate a tack door and the beatdown began anew. Lobo was out next and made a statement with a giant two-table splash from the top of a ladder. He wasn’t fucking around and went to work pummelling down the ADMP. Team Deathmatch was finding its footing and things were getting as interesting as they were chaotic. Lobo was whipping them all, bludgeoning them all and sending them right into the steel. All the pain they’d dished out on Butcher was getting delivered to them with interest. The mystery fifth member didn’t appear on call so it remained three vs four and everyone suffered at the ultimate Tower of Doom. Damian Rivers hobbled to the ring brandishing a crutch and trying to enter the fray. It seems the attack hadn’t been quite as successful as ADMP had hoped and Rivers was coming for vengeance. Except… he wasn’t. He was the fifth man for ADMP. Rivers had become a “professional piece of shit” turn-cloak. He began unloading on team deathmatch as the odds just got worse. Joel Bateman was out next and quickly settled the score, taking everyone out with furious ladder spins and plunder shots. Everything kept unravelling within the cages as the action kept getting more violent, the crimson kept pouring and everyone fought for their survival.
Just as things looked their darkest, Campbell “Camby” Crawford, the man behind Atlas CC Whitaker came out with a weedwhacker sorry Whipper-snipper to even the numbers. With everyone in the cage now, victory could be achieved. Rivers looked to be the man to eat the Whipper-snipper but he pulled Butcher in harm’s way and dodged the blow. Things just got madder and madder with everyone taking risks, getting hit and clawing for a victory. Caity Luxe was carted out after a cage dive and Hendricks was knocked out of the cage by Lobo with a crutch shot. Their numbers kept fading as Jones ran away after a cage top leg drop and Rivers was tangled in a barbed-wire door. it was just Mitchell Wright left. The man who started the movement, went out on his shield defending it as he was zip-tied up and battered by everyone. Butcher brought out a bundle so Wright surrendered, refusing to be touched by the glass. Butcher wasn’t going to let the tubes go to waste though and brained him anyway. Team Deathmatch stood tall after an absolute mammoth of a match. It had been the ultimate battle of attrition with Butcher withstanding the early beatings to stand tall at the end. No one slouched here as everyone took risks and gave it their all. This is how you make history the right way. I don’t agree with the ADMP but they fought their hearts out here as did the deathmatch fighters. This was incredible and my write-up only scratches the surface. Go watch it, go experience it. Lobo ends his career on a high note because that swing for the fence was definitely a home run and everyone else can claim to have made a bit of history. This might just be one of the best DMDU shows to date and War Games was certainly that… a fucking war. The ADMP now really know what deathmatch wrestling is.
All images courtesy of DMDU, Digital Beard, Jake Hurdle Photography,