WARNING: STRONG VIOLENCE AND LANGUAGE AHEAD

Welcome back to H2O and to another action-packed edition of Monday Night Death. Volume 2 promised to up the ante from the first one as H2O once again has to battle for its very soul. The Fallen were growing their ranks and despite the change of heart from Austin Luke, they were just as dangerous as ever. The only way to settle this, was in the Viking Wasteland, a hybrid caged deathmatch between the Fallen and Team H2O. Alongside that, Colby Corino made his first H2O Championship appearance, Terra Calaway brought new blood into H2O to continue her ass-kicking on the Keepers of the Gate, 1 Called Manders and Ryan Redfield joined forces, Adonis Valerio tried to regain the H2O Hybrid championship, Matt Tremont battled Sawyer Wreck and so much more. H2O was going big and you could be there’d be a whole lot of war with no RAW in sight. Let’s get into the carnage.

Johnny Radex vs Troy Locke ends in no contest

Tonight’s show opened with a nice little rising star showcase. Radex and Locke are two of the newer trainees of the H2O Academy and were getting the chance to show off in front of an audience. It lasted all of two minutes before the newly dubbed Mr. Cross (Xavier Cross) and Nicholas Righteous (the former Nick Grande) ambushed the pair and laid them out. Cross and Righteous wanted to make an example of these lambs to the slaughter and told the audience to lose their ego and fix themselves. Safe to say their “help” wasn’t appreciated by the H2O audience.

Rocket (w/Cecilio Vega) defeated Darien Hardway (w/Leroy Robinson) via Spiral Tap

#H2oDeath2 @DarienHardway lifting @TheAlienRocket with ease pic.twitter.com/O41fuicsm2

— Logan (@marth555) July 19, 2022

The ball got rolling again with another chapter in the hottest tag feud in the company. Kaos Control and The Endgame have been at each other’s throats for the past month at least and that didn’t seem to be slowing down any time soon. This time, the company was putting the challengers through another trial by making a singles match. Rocket was going to have to tackle the muscle of the Endgame, Darien Hardway. It was going to be an uphill battle but Rocket’s a UFO and loves to fly. It was a sprint of a match as Rocket found himself involuntarily flying as Hardway overpowered him and tossed him around like a ragdoll. It took all of Rocket’s speed to get around the Kryptonian and after a fight broke out between Vega and Robinson, he took advantage with a double stomp. The Spiral Tap followed and the challengers had racked up a win over the champions. It was a fun exchange between the teams and keeps the pot boiling as we build to the inevitable title rematch. They weren’t able to celebrate though as the champs laid them out with the titles after the bell. Seems the Endgame ain’t the best of losers. The worst thing is, even when Kaos Control was tied up and tortured, no one came to help. It

Terra Calaway & Andy Brown defeated The Keepers of the Gate (Myke Quest & Duncan Aleem) via Kicking Piledriver on Aleem

Next up was something a bit nicer to dig into. Terra Calaway had promised to bring someone new into the company to join her in the fight against the Keepers of the Gate. That mystery had been kept under wraps but if The Keepers were nervous, they weren’t showing it as Aleem danced around the centre to What is Love. They should have been scared, Calaway’s partner was none other than the Thiccc Daddy Uptown Andy Brown. This match played out like Brown vs the world as he went from domination to decimation and back again. H2O gave him all the time he needed to shine and the fans quickly got behind him once he showed off what he could do. The Keepers of the Gate tried to dogpile him and Calaway, Aleem continuously cracking me up with his trash talk as he did so, but it wasn’t enough and they both ended up getting knocked about. This match did exactly what it needed to whilst delivering a nice dose of entertainment and introducing a new member to the roster. Hopefully, Brown sticks around because there are plenty of people that need to fight him. Well, when he’s done beating the shit out of Myke Quest for his sneak attack on Calaway after eating another L.

Scramble: Marcus Mathers defeated Ryan Radix, Jimmy Lloyd, Kit Osbourne & Dyln McKay via Bozo Buster on Radix

#H2ODeath2 SHOOTING STAR INDIETAKER @thedylnmckay pic.twitter.com/oBKwZJFE1P

— Logan (@marth555) July 19, 2022

It was scramble time. We had five fighters colliding in a battle of supremacy. It would be H2O regulars, deathmatch stars, high-flyers, hybrids, and the Kit with the claws, Kit Osbourne going to war. This had the name value and the promise of being an absolute clusterfuck. This was total anarchy. We had a mix of Wasted Youth fighting each other and as a unit, as they looked to wreck those around them. Everyone had their chance to shine and took full advantage of the spotlight. It was a maddening match with a whole lot of gif-worthy spots dished out. You needed eyes in the back of your head as everyone had a habit of rushing in and throwing out strikes or dropping someone on their head. it was a wild encounter that got the adrenaline pumping and pulses racing. It was great to see Kit Osbourne back in action and Radix was a welcome addition as he matched everyone else’s insanity. This was a blast and made full use of everyone in the match. Mathers gets another big win and continues to shine as one of H2O’s biggest stars.

H2O Heavyweight Title: Colby Corino defeated Anthraxx via Tights-Pulling Roll-Up

Colby Corino seems absolutely thrilled to be the H2O Heavyweight Champion. After beating Deklan Grant last month and shocking everyone, he’d taken his pay and his title and fucked off home. Now, he was making his first big appearance as the champion. The Last Bastion had a mic and a whole lot to say. He wanted to be a fighting champion but was pulling out of tonight due to a mountain of injuries he’d gained from hardcore wrestling. So, he was working with Edward Hawkins to do away with the hardcore and make H2O family-friendly. Anyone wanted a shot at his title, it would be contested under NWA rules. Anthraxx had heard enough and came out to challenge the champ, even agreeing to the rule-set. H2O’s Suplex Machine doesn’t need weaponry to fuck someone up, he’ll just throw you around instead. That’s what he did for a lot of this. After Corino stalled for as long as possible, Anthraxx opened the floodgates of Suplexes and strikes on the champ. Annoyingly, Corino was able to adjust to the situation and slow things down with headlocks and sleepers, teasing more high-impact attacks and leaving everyone with blue balls. Anthraxx nearly dethroned the champ but Corino was too aware of the ropes and too crafty, cheating to win. It was a successful first defence but not without its challenges. Anthraxx feels like the perfect contender to Corino’s “rule-set” as he can do it all. It’s a shame he got screwed here. Corino is a sore winner too. He continued attacking after the match, bringing out Marcus Mathers who laid down the challenge to the champ. Looks like there’s another bozo to bust.

Following that, Brandon Kirk came out to demand his Danny Havoc Hardcore Title shot. He’d earned it and now it was time for Lucky 13 to give him the match he was due. The champ appeared, laid down the belt, and gave Kirk his shot at the next show on August 15th. They were going to do it right by the fans and right by Danny.

1 Called Manders & Ryan Redfield defeated GG Everson & Devantes via Manders Lariat on Everson

#H2ODeath2 GROWN ASS MAN @DevantesPW pic.twitter.com/ev7Si3SSuy

— Logan (@marth555) July 19, 2022

The best of enemies can make the best of friends too. Ryan Redfield and Manders have beaten the shit out of each other on multiple occasions. They’ve bludgeoned and bled out on each other as they went through their best of three series. They’ve earned the other’s respect and now, we were going to see them team up in the ultimate hoss showcase as they fought the Hoss of Hosses Devantes and GG Everson. A lot of big men were about to slap meat. This was fucking awesome. I love a good hoss fight and we had four of them just slugging the absolute shit out of each other. Manders and Devantes helped to elevate the two rising stars to even higher levels. Everson and Redfield have come leaps and bounds since I first started covering H2O and it’s great to watch them morphing into full-on monsters. This was the type of match where you sit back and wince, thanking whatever you believe in for not being the one taking the blows. Redfield and Manders have found a great rapport and proved to be enough of a fighting force to stop tanks like Devantes and Everson in their tracks. They were also able to take full advantage once Everson and Devantes’ teamwork fell apart. It’s going to be fun to see if this team continues to develop, especially since there is some degree of competitiveness still there. Since everyone was bickering by the end, Manders made another match for August 15^th, the super hoss four-way. An apt match for a show called Like a Hoss.

H2O Hybrid Title Ladder match: Adonis Valerio defeated Reid Walker via Title grab

Ah fuck, this was going to get rough. Ladder matches are often some of the nastiest matches to take part in and this one was going to get quite intense. The Naughty One, Adonis Valerio lost the title last month and now he was getting the chance to get it back. This was Walker’s first defence since dethroning Billie Starkz, was he going to be more desperate to defend it than the man who would do anything to get it back? We were about to find out. Fucking hell. I must have uttered that phrase so many times watching this one as both guys took some of the nastiest bumps of the night. Considering there were still two deathmatches before this, it certainly helped set the tone. This was brutal. Both Walker and Valerio absolutely wrecked each other with their wrestling and the ladders provided. Everything looked like it hurt and some of the landings were just rough. It made for a car crash match you could not look away from. Valerio has become an absolute unit since getting that title, going from naughty antics to pure champion material. He took Walker to the limit, withstood some serious abuse (especially to the groin), and was smart in his approach to winning his title back. Why just grab the title when you can blast your opponent in the face with it? It was a high-stakes match that delivered on all fronts. I just hope both guys are alright after it. I imagine both felt it the next day.

Deathmatch: Matt Tremont defeated Sawyer Wreck via DVD Duo

Ever since Sawyer Wreck got into the deathmatch game, I’d been wanting this match to happen. The Matriarch of Mayhem is one of the most destructive forces in wrestling and she will take on absolutely anyone. Doesn’t matter how experienced you are, she will use whatever is at hand to leave you hurting. Now, Wreck was getting in there with the Bulldozer. Matt Tremont has been on such a run since coming out of retirement and has been putting the new generation of deathmatch stars through the wringer. This was going to be a stiff one. The excitement seemed infectious as Wreck couldn’t keep the menacing smile from her face. By the end, they were both smiling. This was an absolute slugfest of a fight. Wreck took sadistic glee in her tube work, her chair shots, and the blood she made pour from Tremont’s face. She could stand and bang with the Bulldozer, matching his striking prowess. It had the fuckery and the wrestling you’d want to see. They got real violent with both kicking out of some devastating moves. Everyone loved this match and I don’t think anyone would complain if they ran it back in the future. Tremont was beyond impressed by Wreck and put her over heavily on the mic. 2022 is the year that Matt Tremont found out how tough the women of the business really are and he can’t seem to get enough.

Looks like he’s going to get another chance to test a woman of the scene as Kasey Kirk came out to challenge the Bulldozer on his own turf. He graciously accepted and we’ll get to see that fight on August 15th. That is going to be something special. Speaking of Kasey Kirk, keep it tuned to SteelChair as we have an interview with her dropping soon!

Viking Wasteland: Chris Bradley, Kristian Ross, Mouse & Alex Stretch defeated Deklan Grant, Jess Moss, Austin Luke & Lowlife Louie via Double Pane From the Heavens on Louie

Last but not least, the main event. The war had reached its next battlefield as H2O and the outcasts of The Fallen shed blood in the Viking Wasteland. This would pit both teams of four against each other with two sides of hanging cage pieces, barbed wire ropes, and weaponry everywhere. Deklan Grant, Jess Moss, and Lowlife Louie were being joined by the first defector of the group, Austin Luke to take the fight to Ross and Bradley, Mouse, and Alex Stretch. One member of each team would start and every two minutes another member would enter until all eight were wrecking the scenery. Only then could the match be won. Shit was about to get very nasty. Luke and Stretch kicked things off, making it really difficult to choose who to root for. Stretch might have joined the “dark side” but he is still one of the craziest motherfuckers in the company and a personal favourite. They started with a game of dodging the Viking shield and struck the shit out of each other until Stretch went careening through carpet strips, still cackling as he did so. Mouse was out next to help his bloody mess of a partner and the pair stabbed up Luke with strips and spikes. This continued until Jess Moss evened the odds, bringing her own strip contraption out to play. That met Stretch’s head as Moss wasted no time bludgeoning, flying at and throwing her two foes. The spikes came out to play again but this time were stabbing the men that had brought them out. Things kicked into another gear as Chris Bradley came out and ruined the two members of Team H2O, showcasing his strength and sadism as he did so. Deklan Grant would have been out next to help but he was ambushed by Kristian Ross as The Fallen refused to play by the rules anymore. Grant cut him off with a gusset and began slugging the shit with Bradley. Lowlife Louie was the final man out and the chaos just ramped up from there…

CAGE OF DEATH TYPE SHIT #H2ODeath2 pic.twitter.com/JblgUoEoJj

— Logan (@marth555) July 19, 2022

Throughout the remainder of the match, we got a continuous onslaught of fuckery horror, violent brawling, multi-person chaos and so much more as the full extent of the stipulation was put to the test. The cage sections had bodies landing on them continuously and multiple bodies met glass, strips, steel, and barbed wire. It was bloody as fuck, violent as fuck and every bit as brutal as anyone could have wanted. There was no slack and every fighter took their lumps. There was so much carnage that even the cameras struggled to keep up at times. It was relentless fun with everyone going all-out for the main event. It was a great tribute to Markus Crane and Danny Havoc as it brought the best and worst out of everyone. H2O always delivers on the anarchy and this was no exception. I loved this and it spotlighted so many people at once. Most of the people in the fighters are H2O graduates or favourites. The Fallen got the win in the end, despite some tense moments after a double glassed From the Heavens on Louie. It had been a valiant effort from Team H2O but the outcasts were just more focused, more ruthless, and even more merciless. Of course, they couldn’t end it there, so Matt Tremont had to come out and break it up. He was outnumbered so Anthraxx came to back him up. Or so I’d thought, it turns out the Fallen keep on growing in numbers. Anthraxx has joined their ranks and made that abundantly clear with an attack on Tremont and Louie. This group just keeps getting deadlier and Stretch seems to be enjoying the anarchy that brings. He wanted to send Tremont on his Separate Ways permanently… Something has to give in this blood feud, I just don’t know what that’ll be yet.

#H2ODEATH2 @Anthraxxh2o WHAT ARE YOU DOING pic.twitter.com/RVkVyOn1E5

— Logan (@marth555) July 19, 2022

All images courtesy of H2O, Marth555